(fifteen)
In the first two days of Yu Haiqiao’s business trip, I lived happily and happily. I ate and drank outside with my sister group every day, and complained about my husband. My husband divorced, so that I can resume my single and happy days.
On Friday evening, Yu Haiqiao called me and asked me what I had for dinner. I counted how I enjoyed my evening with him. After a moment of silence, he said that he was eating instant noodles, and I clicked twice. Finally said: "He is pitiful..." Then I told him again that I am going to go with someone tomorrow, where to eat and what good food.
After listening silently, Yu Haiqiao sneered at me: "Are you aware of your current weight?"
After he finished speaking, I hung up the phone and sent him a WeChat message saying that I was going to the movies tonight, and told him to stop looking for me if he had nothing to do.
As a result, after watching the movie at eleven o’clock, the dog/pussy came home and was making food for himself in the kitchen. I was shocked when I opened the door. I almost thought I was hallucinating. Yu Haiqiao should not be hallucinating, this is not objective, so he asked: "Are you not on business?"
He didn't know what he was cooking, so he turned his head and glanced at me: "Isn't this the weekend, and I have to spend the weekend on a business trip."
I nodded to him, expressing my admiration for his work concept.
This dog/force was lying on the sofa full of food and drink and asked me to squeeze a glass of juice for him, saying that he had eaten very greasy food outside these days and needed something refreshing to lighten his stomach.
I took two bitter gourds from the refrigerator, fried them into juice, put them in a glass jug and brought them to him, and told him with a smile: "This is good, drink it up, don't let me down."
**
This bastard Yu Haiqiao had a smooth life from childhood to adulthood, with a good brain and good grades from childhood to adulthood. He has never even encountered such things as being scolded for abnormal exams that normal people will encounter.
So he doesn't like to suffer.
Don't ask me how I came to this conclusion, or try to argue with me - who the hell likes to suffer? !
I just like it. I like to drink bitter gourd juice, which clears away heat and reduces fire.
To what extent does Yu Haiqiao, a bitch, dislike hard work? When he was in elementary school, the school gave every student compulsory vaccinations, and every student lined up neatly according to their seats and waited for the vaccine.
Yu Haiqiao was very short when he was in elementary school, and he didn't know how he grew up the day after tomorrow, but somehow his height jumped to 1.8 meters. Because of his good grades and good looks, he sat in the first three rows in elementary school for a long time. On the day the school uniformly vaccinated the students, he was originally seated in the very front of the second row, but the whole class went to the party one by one for the injection. Vaccines, he lined up and became the last one in the class, and when he couldn't avoid it, he got under the table while crying, his appearance was really tusk tusk.
Thinking about it now, I still feel embarrassed for Yu Haiqiao.
When a person grows up, he can barely pretend that he is not afraid of injections. He just refuses to take medicine. Since he has mastered the autonomy of his own body as an adult, he has never taken medicine. Three-drug.
When I was in college, our dormitory hadn’t broken up with the people in their dormitory at that time. It was still a very happy and beautiful youthful atmosphere. I don’t know which nerve proposed to ride a bicycle around a very famous lake in our local area in winter. , but also set up a barbecue grill by the lake for self-service barbecue.
Oh, that was the day of the barbecue. I grilled chicken wings for everyone with great interest. The chicken wings were not cooked through several times. Finally, Yu Haiqiao took over my position and said while frowning: "I'll buy you some chicken wings when you celebrate your birthday." A grill, you should practice your grilling skills, you can eat people to death, do you know that?"
There are seven people in two fucking dorms, and a sister who kindly declined our invitation to ride around the lake and barbecue by the lake in the winter because she was dating her boyfriend. It turns out she was right, too prescient, anyway I was standing by the lake and was blown by the wind and almost became a fool.
And I deeply suspect that the smiling expressions that everyone managed to maintain at that time were just blown stiff.
In the end, the few people didn’t have enough to eat, and they were frozen to death. Five of the seven people in the group fell ill, including Yu Haiqiao.
After I was sick and had a runny nose for a few days, I went to the school infirmary very decisively to prescribe cold medicine. I drank hot water for many days, and after a few days, the cold was cured and I was alive and kicking. He wore a hat on his head and a mask on his face, and his eyes were still red. I was taken aback when I saw him at the back door of our school—"Have you been sucked by a goblin these days?"
He waved his hand weakly at me: "Don't be pornographic."
"..."
When we arrived at the hot pot restaurant, he didn’t take off his mask or hat, and sat opposite me without chopsticks, coughing wildly. I went out and found a pharmacy and bought several kinds of medicine for him. When I brought him back, he took off his mask and was blowing his nose. After I sat across from him, he put the mask on slowly.
I gave him medicine, but he said no.
Because this dog/force never liked to take medicine since he was a child, I explained to the patient very gently: "This is the only medicine I've been taking for the past few days, and the cold is cured very quickly."
He murmured and said, "Science proves that a person's good cycle for a cold is one week."
"..."
He interacted with me with a scientific attitude and began to ask questions: "Do you know how long it takes to cure a cold by taking cold medicine?"
I am indifferent: "A week?"
Wearing a mask, he showed me a pair of crooked eyes and praised me: "Smart."
I unpacked the cold medicine package, took out the pack of medicine and threw it in front of him, continuing to be indifferent: "Hurry up and give it to me!"
He looked at me with a lot of emotion in that look.
Specifically, it probably includes—surprise, doubt, resentment, helplessness, irritability, headache, grievance...
Wait for emotions.
Don't ask me how I can see so many emotions in the eyes of a sick person, because every word above is my guess.
Probably because of the strong aura of my words, in the end Yu Haiqiao took off his mask and took a pill.
I thought about it for a long time afterwards, what was Yu Haiqiao doing? A man who is about 1.8 meters tall, he is still like this when he is sick and takes medicine, and the medicine is a capsule medicine, but anyone with an IQ is not stupid / Forced to crush the capsule and eat it? !
In the days that followed, I became more and more suspicious that Yu Haiqiao might have princess disease
When I was married to Yu Haiqiao for two years, this man fell ill again. Because he didn't like injections and medicines, he exercised very diligently every day. Usually he didn't get sick very much, but when he fell ill, he became dizzy. Unable to get out of bed, I took a leave of absence with his company and my own company, and planned to take him to the hospital for treatment.
Lying on the bed, he moaned and said, "I'm not going to the hospital."
I felt that sick people should be more sensitive and fragile, so I comforted him very gently: "I can't go to the hospital if I feel so uncomfortable, and I have a fever. What if I feel stupid?"
Yu Haiqiao groaned and said, "You can remarry if you are stupid."
"..." Although Yu Haiqiao is usually a vexatious man, I didn't expect him to be so unreasonable when he had a fever and was sick, so I comforted him, "Yes yes yes, I can remarry if you are stupid."
Yu Haiqiao had half-closed his eyes, but suddenly he glared at me.
At that time, I was more worried that Yu Haiqiao was stupid. I didn't really mind that he dared to stare at me. I thought that this patient refused to cooperate and I couldn't move him, so I had to turn around and prepare to go to the living room to find a doctor. He checked the box to see if there were any anti-fever stickers or anything like that, before walking away from his bed, he suddenly said, "Shi Ran."
Startled me, I turned to look at him: "Why?!"
He reached out and touched his head, feeling very wronged: "I have a fever."
"..." I said, "I know."
"I want custard," he said.
"?" How can someone still think about eating when they are sick and have a fever? Yu Haiqiao's brain circuit makes me a little puzzled, but of course I don't care about a person who is sick and has an abnormal brain. I comforted, "Okay I'm going to steam egg custard now."
"..." Yu Haiqiao was silent for a moment, and then said, "But your cooking is so unpalatable."
"…" I took a second to get myself emotionally stable, and then said, "Then don't eat."
Him: "I want to eat fried chicken."
"..."
"I still want to eat Li Ji's fried chestnuts."
"..."
"I want pudding."
"..."
"I still want to eat..."
I smiled and asked him, "Do you want to eat shit?"
I know I shouldn't say that to a sick, crazy person, but only if the sick person knows he's a sick person.
Yu Haiqiao was lying on his side on the bed, his face was burning red. He looked at me and blinked his eyes slowly twice, and then he laughed slowly, because his throat was already a little constricted due to illness, which made him laugh. He looked a little depressed, and after he finished laughing, he said to me solemnly: "I don't want to."
After a while he said, "I want to eat ice cream."
"What a fart you are." I was annoyed.
He blinked and smiled, and after a while, I was going to go out and look for anti-fever stickers to put on him to prevent him from being an idiot into another kind of real idiot, and I could also steam him with an egg custard.
Before walking out of the room, Yu Haiqiao coughed twice on the bed, and called me again: "Shi Ran, where are you going?"
I turned to look at him: "Find some medicine for you."
"Don't eat." He said out loud.
"..." At that moment, I felt very clearly why I didn't want to have children. If everyone was like Yu Haiqiao, I might not be able to resist kicking him off the bed and pinching him away Put the cold medicine into his mouth.
Yu Haiqiao called me again: "Shi Ran."
Me: "Will a person's IQ and age be burned when they have a fever?"
He half-closed his eyes and smiled, stretched out his hand towards the bed: "Come here."
"It's because of your illness." I walked towards the bed while defending my dignity.
Yu Haiqiao held my hand after I got to the bed, his eyes were closed, his cheeks were still flushed, he groaned and said, "Don't go."
"Stay with me for a while, don't leave."
**
Of course, if after I pasted the anti-fever stickers on him, he didn’t act like I was giving him poison when I gave him the medicine, then my words are quite touching.
Oh, and if he hadn't bought fried chicken, fried chestnuts, and pudding vigorously at night after the fever subsided, and said while eating: "Shi Ran, your steamed egg custard is so weird, this is so simple that you can just talk You haven’t done well what a child can teach you, tsk tsk tsk.”
He also ended with three tsk-tsk-tsk-tsks with obvious irony.
If he is not so cheap as to say this sentence, then I will not be forced to eat the "weird" egg custard I steamed for a whole month in the future.
Oh yes. Yu Haiqiao doesn't eat egg custard now, and he doesn't even like eggs very much now.
Such a picky eater really worries me, alas.