(sixteen)
Of course, Yu Haiqiao couldn't drink the bitter gourd juice I squeezed for him. He raised his cup, frowned and sniffed it slightly, put down the cup with a look of disgust, and then continued to instruct: "Forget it, peel an apple for me to eat." Bar?"
"Did you break your hand or your foot?" I glanced at the bitter gourd juice he put down.
Yu Haiqiao looked at me seriously, very sincerely: "The work is very hard."
I smiled at him and said, "It's also very hard for me to squeeze the bitter melon juice." I picked up the bitter melon juice he put down and made an expression to him that if he didn't drink it, I would pour it into his mouth.
Yu Haiqiao clicked his tongue twice and said that I look very evil now.
I said that what I'm going to do next is also quite evil.
Yu Haiqiao, a bitch, suddenly realized when he heard the words, then stretched out his hands and pulled off his coat to cover his body, he blinked at me, with a shy and disgusting look: "If you insist If..." After two seconds, he asked me suspiciously, "Your aunt is gone?"
"..." I grabbed the bitter gourd juice on the table and walked quickly to Yu Haiqiao who was slumped on the sofa as if disabled. I condescended to this dog/pussy and pressed down on his chest hard.
The other hand was raised to prepare for domestic violence, and bitter gourd juice was poured into his mouth no matter what happened.
Yu Haiqiao yelled a few times, then raised his hands in surrender: "Don't, don't, I'll drink it myself, don't put it on the sofa, I don't want to smell this disgusting smell on the sofa for several days in the future."
I snorted indifferently, let go of my hand on his chest, and reached out to hand him the bitter melon juice in the other hand. Yu Haiqiao sat up from the sofa silently, with a smear on his face. With an expression as if he had been ravaged, Zhang sniffed the bitter gourd juice in the cup like a dog.
I said coldly, "Give me a drink!"
He turned to look at me: "Shi Ran, you are so evil."
I was expressionless, trying to make myself as serious as a judge in court.
Yu Haiqiao smiled at me, his innocent and cute smile made me harden my fist reflexively, and he blinked at me: "How did it feel just now?"
"?" I didn't respond for a moment.
Yu Haiqiao suddenly put the bitter gourd juice on the coffee table, and he rushed towards the bathroom with a "swoosh", and the voice reached my ears: "I think it may be worse than your feeling for A. It's better, what do you think?"
"?" I was stunned for about a second, and then ran away, "Fuck/Your mother, Yugou, wait until you die, I'll tell you!!"
Yu Haiqiao jumped into the bathroom, locked the bathroom door, and a voice came from inside: "I'm taking a bath, don't just peek at me, a pure and innocent young man taking a bath~"
His final sound also has a tilde that is so annoying! Why is he so cheap!
This was something that once baffled me.
I'm the same person as Yu Haiqiao, we eat the same rice and drink the same water, how can he look so cheap
How could he be so cheap! ! !
I turned around and went into the kitchen, and squeezed all the remaining bitter gourds in my refrigerator. After squeezing, I still felt that it was not enough, so I picked up my phone and started ordering takeaway, trying to get all the restaurants around me that were still open at 11 o'clock in the middle of the night. All the bitter gourds are brought to my house.
When Yu Haiqiao came out of the bathroom in half an hour, the bitter gourd juice I squeezed was already on the dining table at our house. When he came out in his nightgown, his expression paused, and he turned very quickly and walked towards the bedroom, using the In a naive and lively tone as if mentally retarded, he said: "Oh, I'm so tired after driving all day today. I'm going to bed. Good night, my wife."
I myself have now been promoted to the cold-faced Yan Luowang, and I said without changing my face: "Come here."
Yu Haiqiao continued to maintain his mentally handicapped character: "I'm really sleepy, see you tomorrow."
I reprimanded loudly: "Come here!"
"..." Before Yu Haiqiao arrived, he took the attitude of admitting his mistake first, very sincerely, "I was wrong."
"..." I stared at him blankly, trying to make this deterrent effect equivalent to waking up at night and opening my eyes to see Black and White Wuchang standing beside the bed looking at you.
As expected, Yu Haiqiao was shocked by my expression. He walked to the dining table with an expression as if he had eaten shit. He stared at the bitter gourds on the table seriously, maintaining a 120-point attitude. Sincerely: "I was wrong."
I still looked at him blankly.
He told me seriously: "You are not against A."
I rubbed my palms and sneered: "Do you think I won't let you drink them all?"
Yu Haiqiao looked at me innocently and naively: "Then I don't feel good?"
"..." If I say Haiqiao died ten years earlier when I die of old age in the future, it must be because he has accumulated a short life in my life with him.
Yu Haiqiao probably saw my unhappy expression, and his face finally became serious, he said: "Okay, let's stop making trouble, I won't joke with you, although I don't like bitter gourd, it's not good to waste it like this. "
I moved a stool and sat next to the table. Yu Haiqiao stood there for a while and put on a very serious attitude: "Otherwise, how about I have a drink, and then we go to sleep."
He looked serious and reasonable, as if his proposal was very rational and perfect, so I rolled his eyes at him.
Yu Haiqiao gave me a hard look, and was the first to express his doubts: "You've been so fierce lately."
I sat on the chair and crossed my legs, shook my legs by the way, and said seriously: "I think it's time for us to have a good discussion about our relationship."
Yu Haiqiao also pulled a chair and sat down, and quickly entered a serious state: "Which aspect should we start the discussion?"
I was serious: "Do you think I'm joking with you?"
He is also serious: "No, very serious."
I continued to be serious: "I can't stand your attitude of always making jokes, you are irresponsible for anything."
He also continued to be serious: "Well, for example?"
I was cold and serious: "Do you still think I'm joking with you?"
He frowned seriously: "No, very seriously."
I hesitated: "For example..."
He said firmly: "Yes."
I continued to hesitate: "For example..."
He remained firm: "Yeah."
I paused for a moment: "Because I'm very angry now, I can't think of an example for the time being because I'm so anxious."
He rolled his eyes slightly: "Oh~"
I glared at him: "What does 'oh' mean?"
He smiled slightly: "It means I know."
"..."
"..."
"I can't talk to you anymore."
"Don't~"
**
Yu Haiqiao sat on the chair next to me, squinted his eyes and looked at me for a while, then suddenly laughed softly: "You want me to drink bitter melon juice?"
I didn't speak.
Yu Haiqiao sighed: "Drink, drink." He slowly picked up the cup in front of him, and took a sip like some peerless tea. He put down the water cup, held it in his hand and watched it for a while. Son, and then looked at me: "Okay, now tell me why you are in a bad mood recently, and take it out on me every day."
"Who took it out on you?" I whitened him, and Bai Wan reminded him, "If you drink at your speed, you won't be able to finish it tomorrow morning."
Yu Haiqiao raised his glass again and took a sip silently. He pondered for a moment, then transformed into "Holmes Haiqiao" and reasoned: "Because that little star is not tall enough to be 1.7 meters tall?"
"Huh?" Where is this, crazy!
Yu Haiqiao glanced at me: "I don't think you've been in the right state lately. You're very disrespectful to the marriage relationship. Every day you're either on the way to violent me or thinking about how to violent me."
"?" No, are you Yu Haiqiao the roundworm in my stomach? You know everything I think
"You have repeatedly attacked a certain ability of mine." After Yu Haiqiao finished speaking, he took another sip of bitter gourd juice silently.
"..." I feel right, this thing Yu Haiqiao will definitely remember for a lifetime, and I will bring it up from time to time.
"I cried for no reason the other night." Yu Haiqiao frowned slightly.
"..." That was reading a novel.
Yu Haiqiao glanced at me: "I have known you for almost thirty years, how many times have you cried in front of me?"
I raised my hand to try to answer the question, and wanted to tell him many times that when I was young, I always had to complain to his mother, and when I complained, I cried especially miserably.
Yu Haiqiao took a sip of bitter gourd juice and didn't intend to ask me to answer the question. He pondered for a moment and came to the conclusion: "Shi Ran, you are not a student of PUA, are you? First hit my self-confidence, and then come to me in front of me. Pretending to be pitiful and wronged, trying to deceive my body and mind."
"????" If Holmes knew that Yu Haiqiao had reached such a conclusion through layers of reasoning, would he simply die under the waterfall with Moriarty
Yu Haiqiao drank his half cup of bitter gourd juice slowly, and continued to reason: "You still spread rumors that I'm dead."
"..."
Yu Haiqiao asked me very seriously, "Do you really want to be a widow?"
I heard that I was so silent that I had no choice but to speak out: "What does it mean to be a widow?" Is it the meaning I understand, does it mean that I have to be a widow for him and never marry for life? hehe.
Yu Haiqiao may have sunk into his spiritual hall at this moment, and he has cut off communication with the outside world. He said: "You squeezed such a table of bitter gourds, don't you want to kill me first and then drink me to death?" Yu Hai Qiao pondered for a moment, then continued, "Did you still go to the insurance company to buy a huge amount of insurance for me?" His expression was serious, "The insurance company will investigate the deceased, and this method is impossible to deceive the insurance company."
"..." I am amazed at Yu Haiqiao's deepening level of drama.
After Yu Haiqiao finished drinking the bitter gourd juice in the glass, he put down the water glass, looked at me, and blinked: "I see."
I wonder at his brain circuit: "What do you know?"
Yu Haiqiao said: "You have cheated mentally, you are ashamed of our married life."
I sneered: "Then do you want a divorce first?"
Yu Haiqiao grinned at me, showing one of his small fangs: "No."
I gave him a blank look: "Tomorrow Yang Xiongwei will come with his wife and say they want to have a meal together, I won't spank you, I'm going to sleep."
Yu Haiqiao was silent for a moment, hesitantly asked me: "Yang Xiongwei?"
I couldn't help but laughed a few times: "Is this name a hit?! Just the boy named Yang Wei in our junior high school class. He changed his name later. He used to have a crush on me..." I Speaking of this, I suddenly thought of something naturally, couldn't laugh, and my face darkened, "And you told him that I have smelly feet."
Yu Haiqiao, a dog/force, laughed a couple of times when he heard the words, he was very good at pretending to be stupid.
I pressed my finger angrily, then pointed to the bitter gourd juice on the table: "Give me another drink!"
Yu Haiqiao silently picked up a glass of bitter gourd juice and took a sip silently.
I snorted and turned around to go back to my room. Yu Haiqiao added behind me, "I'm going tomorrow too."
"They didn't tell you to go get a woolen yarn?"
"Who is not a junior high school classmate anymore? Why can't I go if you can go? What if you spread rumors about me with your junior high school classmates again, saying that I am a couple with Chen Xie? Are you trying to spread rumors about me cheating on me?" Get out of the house?!"
-Pooh.
Yu Haiqiao, this dog / forced someone to make up his mother's rumors!