(seventeen)
Yu Haiqiao is a shameless bastard, he wants to go out with me the next day, and he sits next to my dresser while I'm putting on makeup and rolls up his sleeves to choose lipstick shades for me.
He chose one of them for a long time, and recommended to me with the tone of a shopkeeper: "This color suits you very well, it looks very good, and it matches your clothes today. The gas field explodes, and a single look can kill a lot of people."
Hearing this, I stopped my eyeshadow application, and looked at him silently for two seconds: "Do you really want to put on makeup? Are you a straight man?"
Yu Haiqiao blinked when he heard the words, and then made a disgusting and shy look at me: "Don't you know if I'm straight or not?"
"..." I stared at him in distaste for about two seconds and then gave him a look of enlightenment, "Understood, no wonder you..." That doesn't work.
Before I could say the second half of my sentence, Yu Haiqiao stopped me very seriously like a prophet: "Shut up!"
I snorted, and declared to him very sternly: "Stop talking in front of me in the future, no matter what you say, I will always say that about you..." No way.
Before the main words were uttered, Yu Haiqiao immediately stopped me: "Shut up!" After he finished speaking, he stood up from beside me with a bitter expression on his face, "If you tell me about the accident, you It's over Shi Ran, your next life will be ruined, you're over!" He warned me cautiously, and then walked out of the room angrily.
After he left the room, I looked at myself in the mirror, silently made a V in my heart, and continued to paint my eye makeup with great interest. The colors I chose for the eye shadow were colors that I hardly ever use.
I finally know why Yu Haiqiao has such a cheap mouth. A cheap mouth means that you will always win when you talk to others, and the joy brought by victory is so happy. Thank you Yu Haiqiao for letting me learn such a great truth , I will try my best to learn from him in my future life, increase my efforts, strive for the blue to be better than the blue, shoot Yu Haiqiao to death on the beach, and raise our married life to another new height.
I packed up and went out. Yu Haiqiao was sitting on the sofa touching his computer. I suspected that he must have something to deal with at work. There are only two advantages of Qiao this person's whole body, inside and out. One is that he is tall enough, and the other is that he has a really good face.
When he was in college, he was secretly photographed by school girls, and it was still under my own witness.
At that time, I happened to go to his school to play with him. I saw someone taking a picture while walking with him. I looked at it for a long time and found that the angle didn’t look like a selfie. I thought it was me, thinking What's the situation at their school? He stretched out his finger and poked Yu Haiqiao: "Do you think that person is secretly filming me?"
Yu Haiqiao turned his head and glanced at the girl who took the sneak shot. He habitually squinted his eyes to look at things. After watching for a while, the girl silently put down the phone and put it back in his pocket. I glanced at it, and asked me with a little surprise: "Is there anything worth taking a sneak shot of you?"
I glared at him angrily: "Why don't I shoot you?"
He casually slid his eyes to the girl who was about to leave, and said casually: "Maybe he took a picture of me." After speaking, he took a few steps to chase after the girl.
I don't know what I said to the girl. After I walked over, the girl took out her phone and deleted the photos, and even apologized. Yu Haiqiao said gently with a doglike look: "Next Don't do this again."
"..." I silently rolled my eyes beside me.
After the girl left, Yu Haiqiao took a look at me: "You, Shi Ran. My background has been blurred into a mass of indistinguishable colors."
I immediately jumped on the head: "You are stupid/crazy, what's so embarrassing about this!!"
He pursed his lips, smiled at me, and said very embarrassingly: "Anyway, at least it proves that I am handsome and worthy of being photographed. Oh yes, just now she said that someone in their bed had taken a fancy to me, and she wanted to help take a picture I went back and asked which department the photo was from, and just now asked me for my contact information, saying that I would never do such a thing again in the future.”
I looked at him with disgust, shook my head sadly and sighed: "Your school is over, and the girl is blind."
Yu Haiqiao snorted and concluded decisively: "Jealous."
I snorted even louder: "Why are you jealous? I, a beautiful girl who is going to start a relationship in the near future, is jealous of you being single?"
Yu Haiqiao glanced at me when he heard the words, he clicked his tongue twice, and said in a very exaggerated almost dramatic voice: "God, it's the next-door artist who looks shorter than you and whose music aesthetic level is so bad that I can't bear to look directly at him." Are you a music student at school?"
I am 172 cm tall naked, and I don’t know if I have continued to grow taller in the past two years. This height is indeed very tall among girls here. Almost half of the boys in my high school class were not as tall as me, and the other half The boys are almost as tall as me. I think it is because of my height that I missed the opportunity to fall in love early.
Yu Haiqiao, this dog/pussy, would attack my potential partner like this every time. Once I was on a blind date, and Yu Haiqiao happened to be nearby with friends after dinner. I was thinking about how to leave the blind date after dinner without losing politeness. The subject, casually asked where Sheng Yu Haiqiao was, and the address he sent me happened to be less than ten minutes away from me, so I immediately sent him my address, he is a bitch/forced knowingly He asked me if I was coming to pick you up, and I replied "yes" with a cold face. A few minutes later, this person called, and I said goodbye to my blind date with a smile without losing sight of embarrassment. After leaving the restaurant, this dog/forced car stopped at the door of the restaurant with double flashing lights and waited for me. After sitting in the car, he deliberately glanced behind me, and then clicked his tongue twice: "What's the matter, Shi Ran, can't you date a man who is taller than you?"
"..." I thought about it in my heart at the time, but I can't predict the height, weight, and character of the other party in the matter of a blind date. But it is impossible for me to talk to Yu Haiqiao like this. My life is just not to make Yu Haiqiao happy. Anyway, when I am not happy, I can’t make him happy. I stood up, "I can't help it, maybe I just like men who are about my height. After all, when kissing, I don't need to stand on tiptoe or even raise my head. I can bow my head to kiss those who are shorter than me."
Yu Haiqiao let out a disgusted "噫", wondering if he had imagined such a scene in his mind, with a look of disgust on his face.
As a result, this dog/pussy didn’t pay attention to me until he drove to my door. After I said goodbye to him, he pressed the window on purpose when he got out of the car and poked his head out of the car to look at me. Sighed with me: "Shi Ran, you have known me for so many years, why can't you improve your aesthetics a little bit, I really don't want to have friends with such weird and bad aesthetics like yours."
My eyebrows twitched, and I wanted to laugh at him saying that everyone has everyone's aesthetics and hobbies. This dog/pussy closed his car window without waiting for my rebuttal, and then the car started slowly and drove away, leaving me alone Ate a mouthful of car exhaust.
I immediately took out my mobile phone and called him, and he answered the phone and said "hello" slowly.
I yelled: "Stupid/Fucking."
After cursing, I hung up the phone.
I said very seriously that before I married Yu Haiqiao, I was definitely a sweetheart, and I was so substandard in swearing. After I got married, I complained to Yu Haiqiao that this tomb with him changed me. I went from Zixia Fairy in Westward Journey to Sun Erniang who sells human flesh buns in Water Margin.
Yu Haiqiao was shocked for ten seconds after hearing what I said.
Yes, I counted on my watch at the time.
After he was shocked, he looked at me with an expression as if my IQ had been shocked: "Shi Ran, your misunderstanding of yourself is too deep."
Then he said: "You have to show some face."
**
I don't know why a person who has never been shameless asks others to be shameless, and I don't know who is shameless!