100 Reasons to Kill My Husband

Chapter 29: (over)

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(Twenty-nine)

That night, after twelve o'clock that night, Yu Haiqiao packed up my things very vigorously, and brought me home in the middle of the night. When the car arrived at home, it was past one o'clock. Just lying in bed ready to sleep.

The light in the room was turned off, Yu Haiqiao turned over to the side, I pulled the quilt and lowered my voice angrily: "The wind is blowing in!" Yu Haiqiao turned back again, he lay flat for a while, then suddenly turned towards me individual.

I chuckled in the dark: "Are you making pancakes like a dog?"

Yu Haiqiao reached out and hooked me into his arms, leaning against me and asking, "Can you sleep?"

I seriously sensed my spirit at the moment, and felt extremely excited. I felt that Yu Haiqiao made me sleep too much: "I don't seem to be able to sleep well." I spoke out honestly.

Yu Haiqiao also said honestly, "I'm not too sleepy either."

In the end, the two of us who couldn't sleep at night shrank under the quilt and chatted. We chatted about many things in a dark room, starting from a very young age.

I didn't feel a little drowsy until the sky outside was dimly lit after talking, and I fell asleep immediately after turning over.

When I was woken up by the alarm clock, I wanted to kill someone instantly. Yu Haiqiao was still lying beside me and pushing me. He himself was sleepy: "Get up, I'll take you to work today."

I raised my eyes to see that the alarm clock was half an hour earlier than usual, and I was even more angry about it: "What the fuck did you set the alarm clock for?"

Yu Haiqiao turned over on the bed: "Didn't I promise last night that I would send you to work today?"

What a fart, I lost half an hour of sleep, Yu Haiqiao is a typical self-moving, I don't have the desire to open my mouth and speak again, I lay dead on the bed for five minutes, Yu Haiqiao stretched out his hand again beside me Poke me: "Are you up?"

I closed my eyes and said angrily, "You can talk about it after you get up yourself!"

Lying on the bed, Yu Haiqiao told me very calmly: "I don't want to put on makeup in front of the mirror for half an hour."

I continued to stand up, but didn't answer, Yu Haiqiao poked me again: "Are you up?"

I shook off his finger poking my arm, Yu Haiqiao was really annoyed to death, this person is really annoying next to the alarm clock.

Then Yu Haiqiao sat up from the quilt. After sitting on the bed for a while, he sighed: "I won't go to bed so late anymore, I'm completely dazed now."

I didn't answer, he stretched out his hand to hold me back: "Get up, pig, are you going to work yet, who was calling the perfect attendance award in front of me every day?"

I gritted my teeth: "If you shake me again, I will resort to violence against you!"

Yu Haiqiao was sober now, and laughed: "Oh, I'm so scared~~"

The ending sound was still the one with the tilde. I angrily slapped off the bed, sat up from the quilt, and glared at Yu Haiqiao. Yu Haiqiao jumped off the bed very quickly, and said while walking to the bathroom: " Hurry up, you can't make it in time, I will take you downstairs to your company for breakfast, and you can eat it by yourself."

I sat on the bed for two minutes, and Yu Haiqiao's voice came from the bathroom: "Shi Ran, are you a pig, are you still sitting on the bed?"

I couldn't hold back "Ah" and screamed wildly. I got off the bed and began to change my clothes in front of the closet. After I changed my clothes, I woke up completely. Yu Haiqiao came out with a toothbrush and compared it to me. He lowered his wrist to signal me to pay attention to the time.

I rolled my eyes at him: "I don't want you to send it."

Yu Haiqiao still had a toothbrush in his mouth, and his voice was vague: "No, I promised to give it away."

I continued to roll my eyes: "If you don't send me off, I can sleep for another half an hour."

"..." Yu Haiqiao was silent for a moment with his toothbrush in his mouth, "Why aren't you lazy?"

I turned to the bathroom to solve my personal problems. After brushing my teeth and washing my face, I sat in front of the dressing table and wiped my face. Where did it go, it just matched my coat today."

I ignored him.

He added: "Oh, by the way, I also took a pair of leather shoes. I didn't know where to put them before. Recently, the company has to hold meetings and pass on leather shoes and ties every day."

"..." I'm too lazy to put on makeup.

Yu Haiqiao's voice came again: "Yes, there is also a tie. I wear a tie every day recently. That tie doesn't match my light-colored suit today. Which drawer do I put my tie in, my wife?"

Me: "..." Yu Haiqiao doesn't change his doggy nature.

I got up from the mirror, went to him and pulled out his scarf and tie from the drawer in front of him, and told him: "Where else can shoes be placed in the shoe cabinet? Your shoes are in the Inside the two shoe cabinets."

Yu Haiqiao looked at me for a moment, blinked his eyes and praised me very earnestly: "Shi Ran, you have a good memory."

I rolled my eyes, and Yu Haiqiao tied a scarf on himself and asked me, "No makeup today?"

I said, "Natural beauty doesn't need makeup."

Yu Haiqiao laughed muffledly: "That's right."

Because I saved ten minutes without makeup, we were not in a hurry, and Yu Haiqiao asked me leisurely on the way: "What are you going to eat this morning?"

I replied: "Eat what you see."

Yu Haiqiao asked again: "Shall we buy a suite near your company?"

I was surprised: "There is nowhere to spend the money?"

Yu Haiqiao said: "After working for so many years, the down payment for buying a house is still affordable, and the house we live in now is not close to where you work, nor is it close to where I work. It's convenient to have one person, not to mention you don't know how to drive."

I reminded him: "The traffic jam in the morning rush hour is even more exaggerated. It may be more convenient for me to take the subway than you to drive."

Yu Haiqiao clicked his tongue, and I immediately dispelled the idea that he would have to mess around if he couldn't live a good life: "The place where we live is very close to the subway, and it is also in the middle of where we work, and there are shopping malls, supermarkets, and vegetable markets nearby. , There are everything that the park should have, and it is impossible for me to change places to live."

Yu Haiqiao agreed with my point of view: "Oh, forget it." After a while, he added, "Then if you have nothing to do, you can use the excuse that your small dilapidated house is close to your company to live back."

I rolled my eyes at the roof of his car.

**

After the company's annual holiday, Yu Haiqiao and I stayed at each other's parents' house for one night, and didn't tell the two parents that we have no legally recognized marriage relationship. Yu Haiqiao's mother still let me Eat more, my dad still likes to discuss national affairs with Yu Haiqiao at the dinner table.

Nothing has changed from the past.

Because I agreed to participate in the junior high school reunion this year, I reluctantly turned down the invitation to play mahjong with a few sisters in my family. On the day of the reunion, I followed Yu Haiqiao and drove to the restaurant for dinner.

The class reunion was reserved for a private room in the restaurant. There were four tables in the room. Yang Xiongwei stood at the door of the private room and waited and watched the guests as if welcoming guests. He saw Yu Haiqiao and me smiling and saying New Year's greetings: "Here we are, Happy New Year, our teachers have already arrived, but some students couldn't get in touch and some students couldn't catch up, so our class came at thirty Several people."

Standing next to me, Yu Haiqiao sighed with full leadership style: "It's pretty good to have more than 30 people in so many years."

I glanced at Yu Haiqiao, opened the door and entered the private room, and asked Yu Haiqiao and Yang Xiongwei to chat at the door.

I haven't seen my classmates in junior high school for more than ten years. Except for a few occasional contacts or those who have added WeChat and can see Moments, I almost don't recognize others at all. Girls are fine, but boys have changed too much. Some classmates dragged me into the chat and told me who was who. Who would have thought that the skinny chick-like boys who often sit in the first row when studying would also become potbellied. I really have to lament the magic of time.

And at the class reunion, we must recall the past. During the meal, the head teacher with gray hair recalled at the dining table that this person was very smart in his studies and that person was naughty and disobedient to discipline. I don’t know why he has taught for so many years. So many students still have a deep memory of Yu Haiqiao, and they can still call out his name with a smile: "I heard that Yu Haiqiao married a girl from our class—very good."

Yu Haiqiao poured fruit juice for his teacher, and said with a smile, "Yes, her name is Shi Ran, the one who had a serious bias in subjects when she was studying, and the one who always lost her overall score in math."

The head teacher nodded when he heard the words, but judging from my keen intuition that he didn't remember who the girl Yu Haiqiao was talking about was, so I leaned over to show my face and greeted him again.

When we were full, everyone started chatting. I talked to many people about how hard I worked at work and how annoying the boss was. For a while, everyone complained about their work with all their heart.

As we chatted, the topic diverged. Everyone chatted with the person next to them, and then someone congratulated me with a smile: "Congratulations, bless you and Yu Haiqiao."

Someone else said: "I think you two are compatible since you two were in junior high school, that's great."

Someone else lamented: "You two getting married makes me feel like my youth is complete."

In essence, I really couldn't accept such a great statement, and felt my teeth ache. At that moment, I just wanted to hang the divorce certificate between me and Yu Haiqiao on a rope on my chest, so that this person could open his eyes and see How unreliable it is to hang youth on others.

Another elder brother who I don’t quite remember asked me in gossip: “Last time in the group chat, Yu Haiqiao said he was widowed, what happened?”

This big brother is really upright, no normal person would ask such a question in front of the person involved, after all, the person involved can’t explain clearly in a sentence or two, and it would be embarrassing if the explanation is not clear, I laughed twice, in order not to The sense of humor that made me unique made other people equally embarrassed. I didn’t tell the other party that this was a love affair between me and Yu Haiqiao. I said to him very gently: “Then you have to ask Yu Haiqiao.”

The man continued to be frank: "Then you and Yu Haiqiao are married for the second time?"

I thought about it, strictly speaking: "Yes, but I'm not married yet."

"Huh?" The man looked surprised.

I saw his surprised face, but I couldn't hold back my mischievous mouth: "I don't think he likes women."

"Ah????" The man was shocked.

I nodded heavily at him.

"Why don't you like women?" Yu Haiqiao just walked over at this time, and the voice suddenly came from behind me and startled me.

I glanced at him sideways, and explained to him very patiently: "Oh, he asked me about what you said about your widowhood in the group before, so I told him that we are not married yet."

Yu Haiqiao squinted his eyes and looked at me for a moment, then suddenly smiled slightly: "If you and your girlfriend didn't discuss it well, we wouldn't be married now."

The elder brother who asked the question probably realized that his curiosity was too inappropriate at this time, he smiled a little embarrassedly: "Haha, someone asked me to go over there just now." So he escaped with such a clumsy excuse up.

After the man left, Yu Haiqiao stood beside me and looked down at me, and asked me seriously: "We are not married yet?"

I looked at him like a fool: "Otherwise?"

He dragged me to a small corner of the room where no one was around. The two of us huddled in this corner, surrounded by noisy voices and loud voices persuading me to drink. I saw him pursing his lips and touching He fumbled and took something out of his pocket. In order to prevent the sound from being heard by the people around him, he leaned close to my ear and whispered in a low voice, "Then will you marry me?"

The ring he was holding was the one he threw to me when he proposed to me three years ago, and I kept it in the cabinet of the dressing table for a long time.

I stared at the ring, and also lowered my voice and whispered in the tone of secret agents meeting on the street: "Marriage proposal?"

Yu Haiqiao turned his head and stared at me seriously. After a while, he pursed his lips and smiled, then leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Yes, propose, I love you, marry me."

I think for a moment.

After waiting for a while, Yu Haiqiao raised his head and stared at me, angrily said in a low voice, "Isn't it true that you still think about it at this time?"

I continued to think.

Yu Haiqiao's voice became a little nervous, and he suppressed his voice with great restraint: "Hey, hey—"

I keep thinking.

Yu Haiqiao tugged at his trouser legs, making a gesture to squat down slowly, and asked in a very sincere and serious tone: "I will kneel down on one knee and beg you?"

This forced him to be ashamed and I still want to be shameless. I heard this and quickly grabbed his arm. I was very afraid that the two of us would make too much noise and the people around would find out. If I was embarrassed, the cancer would definitely lead to illness and death. I lowered my voice and was angry. He opened his mouth and said, "Wait, wait, what's the rush, really."

Yu Haiqiao laughed twice, and I knew immediately that I was being played by this again. Before my body could react, he reached out and grabbed my hand and quickly put the ring on my ring finger. A set of movements is smooth and flowing, and after I finished, I leaned over and whispered to me: "Don't take it off when you wear it."

I looked down at my hand, and lowered my voice to ask him, "What about your ring?"

Yu Haiqiao stretched out his hand and hooked it around his neck, hooked out a rope, and tied the ring underneath: "Here, you don't wear a wedding ring, which makes me feel embarrassed to wear it."

I clicked my tongue and asked in a low voice: "Stop wearing it, when did you put it on?" I have seen Yu Haiqiao with a bare neck or shirtless, but I didn't find that this man was wearing a "me" around his neck all the time. Two wedding rings.

Yu Haiqiao whispered back to me: "The rope has been strung long ago in case you find it embarrassing to wear it, so I put it on recently."

I laughed softly: "So why didn't I realize that you are so thin-skinned?"

Yu Haiqiao also laughed softly: "There are many things you haven't discovered."

I looked at my fingers again, and Yu Haiqiao looked over with my gaze, and told me again: "Don't take it off, it's troublesome to wear it." He added, "I will be sad."

I groaned, and Yu Haiqiao muttered again: "Then when shall we go to the Civil Affairs Bureau to remarry?"

I whispered: "Civil Affairs Bureau has a holiday for the Chinese New Year, right?"

Yu Haiqiao nodded: "Well, let's go after that year."

Yu Haiqiao murmured softly, "Then when will we go to make up the wedding photos?"

me?"

Yu Haiqiao muttered again: "Can you make up for the honeymoon? What about the wedding? Can your friend's college roommate and colleagues come out for dinner?"

I discussed: "Is it necessary to invite me to dinner? People really think we are married again?"

Yu Haiqiao also discussed: "Then you find an excuse to let those friends and colleagues you have a good relationship with who often go shopping together come to our house for dinner."

"Okay, okay." I was overwhelmed by Yu Haiqiao's spirit of finding trouble for himself, and immediately agreed with admiration.

The sound of people in the private room was still noisy, and several men who had been drinking too much were still toasting each other at the wine table. The teacher sat on the seat and chatted with the students around him with a smile. What happened between Yu Haiqiao, the two of us seemed to have completed a very great mysterious ceremony without the whole world noticing.

I let out a sigh of relief for this invisible greatness, and Yu Haiqiao asked me in a low voice: "Then shall we go home now?"

I said, "Let's go."

Yu Haiqiao took me to say hello to the teacher, and then sneaked away from the meeting point.

The wind is very strong at night in winter. The weather has been pretty good in the past few days. There are few clouds at night, the moon is very bright, there are not many stars, and the night sky looks very clear.

The story should stop here, but I have something to say in order to echo the title.

If I want to kill Yu Haiqiao 364 days out of 365 days in a year, and 366 days in a leap year I want to kill him 365 days if.

Then, on the last day of this year of my life, I will also offset all the resentment I accumulated towards him in the first three hundred and sixty days. The reason is very simple, so simple that I am too embarrassed to say it. The protagonists in the two stories between me and Yu Haiqiao look like two psychopaths who cannot communicate normally.

But there is really no way. As a human being, I can only see the truth in front of me and make judgments based on my personality. If you have to scold people, I think you shouldn't scold me and Yu Haiqiao for having a weird temper. You should scold the creator who created us. It's all his fault. I won't admit it's my fault anyway. .

Yes, the reason is very simple because of what I don’t want to admit—

I love him.

**

Of course, if I hadn’t seen the message on my phone on the car ride home—fuck the shocking news, Yu Haiqiao is gay and Shi Ran is les, they are not married at all! Doubts are all just for parents to see! I heard it with my own ears! The two of them are in a physical marriage, no wonder their relationship has been so good since they were young!

I sat in the co-pilot and stared at the phone screen, silently reminding myself not to accidentally bring the person involved into the group chat.

—End of the text—