(Four)
Yu Haiqiao's cooking skills are so good that even if I am angry, I can temporarily bow to him for these two bites of food. Because this is a rare advantage, I decided to let him go for the time being and let him survive tonight.
But Yu Haiqiao’s shortcomings include but are not limited to his lack of mouth, pickiness and habitual lying. Another point is that I think Oscar owes Yu Haiqiao/forces a little golden man. Whenever I want to communicate with him about anything he doesn’t want He can always talk about him very naturally on the topic of communication.
At this moment, I only had two sips of soup in peace, and he forced himself to open up the topic of our chat: "Chen Xie suddenly asked me out for coffee this afternoon."
When I heard this, I immediately cooperated with him very much, put down my chopsticks and immediately sneered: "Do you still remember when I asked you to accompany me to the Mayday concert the year before last, and you told me that you were going to work?"
Yu Haiqiao looked at me and blinked twice, looking a little confused.
"And now you're skipping work to have coffee with your ex-girlfriend." I glared at him.
Yu Haiqiao stared at me and blinked his eyes slowly again, then suddenly rolled his eyes and smiled at me obediently: "Shi Ran, you have a good memory."
I despise his contrived acting skills. Yes, this dog/pussy has a talent that is too ordinary for acting and pretending to be stupid.
I have quarreled and fought with him countless times since I was a child. Since I didn’t have any gender concept when I was a child, he is stronger than me as a child. I was pressed on the stool by him every time. , Pressed on the sofa, pressed on the table, pressed on the wall or even the ground many times, I was so wronged that I burst into tears and swore in my heart that I would never reason with this dog Haiqiao in my life.
My mother told me about this. She said that when I returned home from tears and snot, she was still wondering what was going on. In the end, Yu Haiqiao, who lived next door, told her with my schoolbag on his back, "I don't know why. There was a stray dog near the school, it was so fierce, it scared me to death.” My mother concluded that Shi Ran is afraid of dogs, next time you see a dog, don’t run away, the more you run, the more the dog will chase you .
Yu Haiqiao is a dog. He has been a dog since he was a child. In the end, my mother gave him a piece of cake that I especially liked very gently and praised Yu Haiqiao for being a brave and good boy. Thank you. I brought back the schoolbag I left behind.
I was only in the second or third grade when this incident happened, and I don't remember the details clearly, but I remember secretly vowing never to talk to Yu Haiqiao again.
As a result, this person stood at my door the next day waiting for me to go to school as if nothing happened. I ignored him, but he still blinked his eyes so innocently that I felt like my memory was confused and asked me: "What's the matter?"
That was the first time when I was young I had the really antisocial idea of flushing a person's head down the toilet.
However, Yu Haiqiao, a dog/force, told me later that when we had another conflict, I quarreled with him in the second grade of elementary school. After he tried to please me, I apparently agreed to make up with him. In action, I also ate several lollipops he bought at the canteen, and let him carry my schoolbag for several days, but after enjoying his sincere apology, I immediately told my mother about it, and it was still red Standing at the door of his house with eyes so pitiful and pitiful, he said to his mother, "Auntie, Yu Haiqiao hit me."
As a result, his mother immediately softened into a spring of water, and immediately threw a washboard at the door of the house and asked him to kneel on the washboard facing the direction of my door to reflect on his mistakes. He also said to me with a look of disgust: "You At that time, he gave me a fucking smile, like a pervert."
How can I admit it, since the things I don't remember just never happened.
But it seems that in my memory, Yu Haiqiao didn't fight with me much after that. When I couldn't hold back my hand to hit him because of his sloppy mouth, he endured my slap very hard and never fought back. , and explained with great humiliation: "My mother told me that men and women are different. I am a boy and should not bully girls."
At that time, I was flattered to think that Yu Haiqiao would be a good person who would never fight back when hit or scolded, but the dog looked at me for a second before I was happy and asked, "But you also Are you a girl?"
I was so angry that I almost cried. When I was young, I was a very fragile and naive girl. I hadn’t been tempered by Yu Haiqiao. I was so angry that I didn’t care about my mother saying that I couldn’t wear skirts when the weather was cold. I wore it. The skirt went to school for a few days to prove that I was a girl, but Yu Haiqiao didn’t notice my little skirt at all, and encouraged me to wear a pink gauze dress so cute that I couldn’t bear it The little girl who didn't live in front of the mirror admiring herself for a long time went to the parallel bars.
He sat in front of the parallel bars with several boys in his class and waved at me: "Shi Ran, what are you pretending to be a lady, take out the vigor that you almost kicked me into the ditch last time, come up and play."
Yu Haiqiao is not worthy of appreciating beauty at all, and he made me catch a cold for three or four days.
In order to let Yu Haiqiao realize how good my memory is, I also smiled at him with my eyes bent: "When you were in the second grade of elementary school, you pushed me to the ground and beat me up."
Yu Haiqiao blinked: "You complained to my mother. I knelt on the washboard for nearly three hours, and my legs were almost useless when I stood up."
I glared at him, and said in a shocking voice: "You just learned to ride a bicycle in the fifth grade of elementary school, so you insisted that I sit in the back seat of your car, but the wheel not only pinched my feet, but also threw me off the car, with my head on the ground. There's still a scar now."
Yu Haiqiao immediately pretended to be dead and slowly moved his gaze away from me. I saw the dawn of victory and was about to pursue the victory. Yu Haiqiao turned his gaze around and stared at me affectionately: "Shi Ran, You are beautiful and your scars are your badge of beauty."
I snorted coldly, he wanted to make me so disgusted that I couldn't speak or even eat, but it was impossible, I knew exactly how much Yu Haiqiao weighed now, I could tell by blinking his eyes Knowing what bad idea he was going to come up with, I stared at him and sneered: "Do you remember when we were in junior high school, there was a boy in our class who seemed to be interested in me..."
Yu Haiqiao exclaimed exaggeratedly: "The one with non-mainstream hairstyle, wearing non-mainstream clothes, never failed the exam, and the English teacher told him to get up and answer questions only 'hello' and 'goodbye' stood up A boy who is half a head shorter than you is named Yang Wei, who seems to have some abnormal functions?"
"..." Is Yu Haiqiao's memory too good
After a series of sarcasms, he continued to taunt me: "Shi Ran, I am highly suspicious of your vision." He sighed heavily after the sarcasm, "But why is every boy you have a crush on shorter than you?"
I was immediately led away by the dog/forced, and immediately refuted: "Find out the situation, it's not that I'm interested in him, it's that he's interested in me."
Yu Haiqiao pursed his lips and looked disgusted: "Probably because you look stupid and easy to deceive."
I stared at him and sneered: "Yes, it's not easy to trick someone into marrying you?"
Yu Haiqiao immediately yelled, "You made money by marrying me."
"Divorce." I simply said two words.
The bastard Yu Haiqiao spread his hands towards me with a smile on his face, and began to persuade me without distraction: "Don't~"
A strange dog like Yu Haiqiao is invulnerable to guns, guns, oil and salt. I angrily picked up the chopsticks I put down and started eating again, and told myself very seriously in my heart that this dog is a man. I decided to be cold and violent and cold to fuck!
He will not be worthy to say a word to me again.