(seven)
Yu Haiqiao was beaten to death by me, the full text is over.
**
It happened like this, I kicked Yu Haiqiao off the bed first, and sat on the bed to watch him slide on the floor for several meters, and finally hit the wall before coming to rest.
The strength of my flying kick is so great that I can almost ignore all the known mechanics knowledge. After he hit the wall, he directly made a human figure in the bedroom wall, and the white wall fell off from the wall and fell on him. Because of the sag in the wall, the painting hanging on the wall fell down and hit him directly on the head. He yelled and immediately passed out, and then I slammed a bedside table with my left hand and right hand on him. body, making him pass out and wake up, wake up and pass out again.
In the end, I lifted up the 1.8 by 2-meter bed and threw it directly on his body. He was about to die. Before he died, he held my hand and confessed to me very ashamedly: "I'm dead, your story It's still long."
I told him that what Zhang Ailing said was not suitable for him, and then I started calling 120. Of course, in order to ensure his safety, he had successfully burped before 120 entered the house. The doctor who came to the door said that he fell like this while walking. The doctor advised me to mourn, and then dragged Yu Haiqiao away.
He was buried in the ground soon. On the day of the funeral, the sky was clear, the birds were singing and the flowers were fragrant, and the air was full of beautiful life. At his funeral, I gave a speech about his life—he was born without honor, but died with greatness!
Then there should be the episode where I receive his huge insurance, but my alarm clock rang at dawn, and I still feel a little regretful that I didn't live the life of a rich woman in the dream.
This dog Yu Haiqiao was beaten up by me yesterday, then he ran away to the living room to sleep, and scolded me for being a violent man while denying that he said that. He was going to sue for defamation. I gave him a pillow and drove him away, and then I had a dream that I killed Yu Haiqiao all night, because beating him all night in the dream made me very tired, and I was in a very bad mood after being woken up by the alarm clock Oops.
Before recovering from the mental state of low pressure, there was knocking and knocking at the door of the bedroom. I flew over very quickly with a sharp eye. The bedroom door opened a gap. The toy plane flew in tremblingly through the gap, and there was a long note hanging below it. The toy plane staggered and flew in front of me. My eyes moved to the piece of paper hanging under the toy plane. On the note, after seeing what was written on it, my blood rushed up.
"..-. --- .-. --. .. ... - . -- . .. .-.. --- ... - . ..-"
There are a lot of dots and lines of different lengths on the paper. This dog sent me Morse code. Did he think that I would seriously decipher the dog thing he sent me when I woke up in the morning? !
I calmly and calmly tore off the note, and then pulled down the toy plane he threw floating in mid-air, got out of bed and opened the bedroom door with a crack, and walked to the living room, where Yu Haiqiao was sitting on the sofa wrapped in a bathrobe. Holding the remote control handle of the plane, he smiled innocently at me when he saw me: "Good morning."
I threw the plane on his sofa, and threw the crumpled note on him: "What did you say?" I asked him calmly.
Yu Haiqiao, the dog/force, immediately became unhappy: "Is there any mistake? I have taught you how to read Morse code so many times. Are you a pig? Shi Ran, if you teach a pig so many times, the pig will learn it Okay?!"
Yu Haiqiao is like this when he was studying, he can use any skills he can pretend to pretend to be in front of me without limit.
He ran the last leg of the 400-meter relay race in a high school sports meeting. He ran from second place to first place in the sprint. He still thanked others politely in front of others—it was all a team effort, and I was only a member of this team Just one piece.
And in front of me will always be - I am the champion, without me there would be no championship trophy! It's just a matter of giving him a magnificent background music.
At that time, I bet him that he would never win the championship, of course, because I habitually denied Yu Haiqiao as a dog/pussy, but he said that he was left, no matter whether he was right or not, for such things that might prove his ability. Said yes, so it turned out that I lost the bet and bought him breakfast for a month.
At that time, the school had divided classes according to the quality of individual grades. Yu Haiqiao didn’t know that the person who played around every day had better grades than me, so he was assigned to the first class of the school. I am in class three at school. After I lost the bet at the sports meeting, I gritted my teeth and bought him breakfast for a few days. Although the school cafeteria was crowded with people, it was very painful to squeeze the cafeteria, but this was not the main reason why I was not willing to admit defeat.
The main reason is that their first class is a majestic class of top students. I didn't expect it to be a hot spot for gossip. I usually go to and from school with Yu Haiqiao and pass by their class. I can receive all kinds of strange gossip eyes , After delivering breakfast for a few days, I saw me screaming like a ghost. This is really disgusting. I mentioned it to Yu Haiqiao. This dog/forced him to be nice to him when I threw breakfast to him the next day Jiyou said that I was his maid, and his good friend burst out laughing wildly when he heard the words. I became angry and finally gave up the bet on buying breakfast for Yu Haiqiao very quickly.
Afterwards, Yu Haiqiao did not criticize me crazily as a person who broke his promise. Of course, this incident was not because he felt that he was a dog/pussy after self-reflection, so he didn’t care about me, but because of this person during that time. He didn't have time to talk to me at all, this dog/pussy was chasing our school belle of that class like a mad dog at that time, that is, Chen Xie of their class.
I didn’t know about this at first, but once I forgot to bring the exercise book to their class and asked him to borrow the exercise book. This person was not in the classroom for ten minutes between classes, so I went to look through his desk on my own. He said at the same table that when he walked out of his classroom door, he saw this dog and his later goddess strolling romantically in the woods for ten minutes between classes. I called him when we reached the bottom of our teaching building, Waved the exercise book in his hand and said to him: "Yu Gou, lend me your exercise book."
This dog stood downstairs and said to me, "OK."
Yes, once a man falls in love, it is so disgusting that he is obviously a piece of shit and pretends to be chocolate.
I pinch my fingers and estimate the time I have known him for more than ten years, and I feel that I have never seen this person so easy to talk to. Whenever I borrowed a workbook from him in the past, this person should not mock and say something, such as I didn’t do my homework to copy. If he does his homework.
Later, I reflected on myself that I might be in Stockholm. Under his dog-talking attack, I was stunned by his kind words, and I walked back to my classroom after I was stunned.
This is really enough to prove that men really can't do it.
That night I asked Yu Haiqiao sarcastically if the dog liked the school belle in their class, and Yu Haiqiao happily expressed to me, "Of course I do."
Look at this dog. At the beginning, he talked sweetly to Chen Xiaohua, walked around the campus, and talked so touchingly. In the end, this dog married me. Fortunately, I am like a reincarnation of a Bodhisattva. Compassion is not important, anyway, I haven't touched my heart much, and it's a good chance that I haven't touched my heart, otherwise, all the things I have experienced will definitely make me vomit three liters of blood, and I may pass the catastrophe and return to the sky to become a god on the spot.
It was the second semester of the second year of high school, and the relationship between Yu Haiqiao and Chen Xie began to become particularly good. From my perspective as a passer-by, the two of them don't talk about their relationship as a couple, at least they can be regarded as bosom friends, which is a very disgusting and ambiguous title.
Before the dog Yu Haiqiao didn’t have a “confidant”, on weekends he would either play basketball or some boring games with his male classmates in his class, or sometimes he would take me out to eat and drink together when he saw me idle, After he and Chen Xie became confidantes, this dog/force took people out to eat and drink, and even brought two of them with him, his shamelessness was really outrageous.
And the Morse code thing is that he didn’t know what spy movie he watched in his second year of high school and suddenly became interested in it. When he was young, he had a good memory and memorized it quickly. After he wrote it down, he stopped writing every day and used it every day. This thing pretends to be aggressive, and even taught me a series of dots, and told me: "It will be like this when you use Morse code to confess to people in the future."
I don't know if this dog/pussy used Morse code to confess his love to his goddess. Anyway, these two have been together since the third year of high school. They study happily and make progress together every day. It's disgusting to watch.
Later, they broke up in front of my face, and I had to firmly confirm in my heart that men really can't do it.
In other words, Yu Haiqiao couldn't do it. This kind of strange creature didn't deserve love.
**
Thinking of this, I have suddenly developed a Buddha-nature, and I can become a Buddha at any time. I am about to become a Buddha because my working hours are very tight, and I don’t want to lose this month’s perfect attendance award because of Yu Haiqiao’s dog/force , I gave this cowardly look a blank look, went back to the room, brushed my teeth, washed my face, changed my clothes and put on makeup before going out.
When the steps progressed to the point where he was sitting on the toilet to solve major life issues and looked at his mobile phone by the way, Yu Haiqiao knocked on the toilet door: "Shi Ran."
"Why, the toilet is in use, go to the one outside." I replied.
He said, "No, where did I put my underwear?"
"..." I really want to put this dog thing in his own closet and lock it, let him fully touch each of his own clothes, let him know his clothes as well as his face , I scolded him calmly, "You change 800 pairs of underwear a day? You also use toilet paper for airplanes?"
"Why, I can't do it even if I like to be clean?" Yu Haiqiao stood at the door.
"It's in the second drawer of the closet." I'm already tired of Yu Haiqiao, a bastard, and I hope he can be a human being from now on.
Yu Haiqiao’s footsteps wearing slippers left my toilet door, and a few seconds later I heard him yelling: “Where is it, no, I’ve searched all over this closet.”
"..." My blood pressure rose slightly, and I felt that I was still one step away from becoming a Buddha and killing Yu Haiqiao. I packed myself and rushed out of the toilet aggressively, then went to the closet and punched in the second drawer to pick it up. He took out a pair of gray boxer briefs and threw them on him: "Excuse me, are you blind, Yugou?!"
Yu Haiqiao looked at me with innocent eyes like a little deer in a cartoon: "Why are you so angry so early in the morning?"
I smiled at him: "Speaking of my temper, I remembered it. When I first started college, you helped me carry my luggage to our dormitory. What did you say to my roommate when I went out to answer the phone?"
Yu Haiqiao frowned slightly, very dazed, with the expression "Why can women in this world always bring out things that happened a hundred years ago and I can no longer remember to get angry".
This is what my roommates told me when I was so close that I could wear a pair of pants. They said that they were a little afraid of me at the beginning, and slightly disdainful of me. I thought I didn’t do anything terrible. Am I not a sweetheart at heart, and then they told me the truth that Yu Haiqiao took advantage of me to tell them when I was not there when he was helping me carry my luggage back to the dormitory: "Do you know that Shi Ran, who is sleeping with you, has a bad temper? You know, she is in the same high school as me. She is the eldest sister of our school. Although she hasn’t beaten anyone much, she is very fierce. You see, I am also a freshman, and I am studying in the university next door. Come to carry her luggage, I'm her little brother, you know, the kind who will find someone to educate me if there is any disagreement."
This dog Yu Haiqiao is making rumors about me every day. Afterwards, in my angry and shocked expression, my good girlfriends told me that they didn’t want to believe it, but the main reason is that Yu Haiqiao’s looks are too deceptive. Yes, you can lose part of your sanity by looking at his face first, and then listening to him talk to people in a gentle manner, you will feel—right, right, right, right.
This dog/force!
The only two advantages in his life are his face and his height, the others are all shortcomings, all mistakes, and all bugs.
When I got married, the only unmarried roommate among my roommates was my bridesmaid, who slept on my bed at night and hugged my arm and laughed: "I never thought you would marry Yu Haiqiao, I always feel that you hate him to death. "
I laughed as I was hugged by her: "I loathe him to death. This is a tactical marriage between us. He said it himself."
She laughed: "The relationship between you two is really fun, unexpected and seems very reasonable. When we were studying, we secretly bet whether you would be with Yu Haiqiao."
I looked at her with disgust, but I didn't expect this group of people to be so bored that they secretly bet on me.
She laughed: "My bet is that you two will get married and live forever."
Now that I think about it, my good friend should have given me a gentle blessing very gently.
But now I really want to tell her sincerely, my good friend, bless me and Yu Haiqiao, a dog/forced to grow old, this matter is actually a curse when I think about it now.
Yu Haiqiao stared at me for a while after I finished asking, his eyebrows frowned slightly, his eyes narrowed slightly habitually, he suddenly raised his hand and touched my forehead lightly with the back of his hand, then retracted his hand He plausibly said: "I don't even have a fever. Why do you keep telling me about things that happened hundreds of years ago recently?"
I grabbed the hand he hadn't had time to take back, and slowly put his hand back to his side. After I let go, I smiled and looked at him: "Yes, it's a flashback of our marriage that is about to die." After finishing speaking I went to the bathroom to change my clothes and make up.
Yu Haiqiao asked me from behind me: "Then, during this period of time, should I kindly send you to work in the company?"
His company is thousands of miles away from me. After sending me to the company, he will be late for work immediately when he turns around. Although he is an unmotivated dog/pussy, I still don’t want him to become an unemployed dog/pussy.