(Nine)
Since Yu Haiqiao is already a dead person with me, I have cremated his body in my heart, packed the urn and put it in his grave, and placed it in front of the tombstone. Wreaths, so when I saw his car parked on the side of the road with double flashes when I got off work, I hurried around the small garden on the first floor of the company. It took five minutes to go around the side door and try to slip away, but something magical happened. , his royal blue car was parked at the exit of the car door with double flashing lights, and he was still standing in the security booth chatting with the security guard downstairs in our company.
When he met my gaze, he rolled his eyes: "Get off work?"
The security guard who was chatting with him in the security booth took a peek. I really admire Yu Haiqiao’s ability to permanently lose his memory with one click, so I smiled at him in admiration: “Why don’t you go to work today?”
He hummed: "I have something to do in the afternoon. I thought you were going to work nearby and picked you up." After I walked out the small door, he grinned at me, "Is it touched?"
I was not moved, I wanted to put my head in the window of the security booth, and then crazily smashed his head with the window, I smiled at him: "Moved."
Yu Haiqiao coughed, opened the car door and got into the driver's seat. I opened the back seat and got in. Before I could sit still, he immediately became unhappy: "I'm not your driver, let me sit in the front."
I rolled my eyes at him: "Stop talking nonsense!"
While driving, Yu Haiqiao said, "My mom called today and asked us to go to her place for dinner tonight."
I calmly asked, "How do you know I'm going out from the side door?" I couldn't figure it out. I clearly saw this man's car parked there at the gate, and I was driving double flashes as if I was afraid that no one would see me.
Yu Haiqiao glanced at me from the car rearview mirror, and smiled innocently at me: "I saw your colleague at the door, she said you went to the toilet, let me wait a while."
"..." I gave "Sherlock Holmes" Yu Haiqiao a thumbs up.
He really thought I praised him, and blinked at me very obediently, making my fist hard, and I couldn't help shouting angrily: "Why do I want to beat you so much!!"
Immediately, he was disgusted and uttered coquettishly: "What are you doing!"
My blood pressure soared, and I made up a hundred ways for Yu Haiqiao to die in my brain. Finally, I stared out the car window for a while and told Yu Haiqiao calmly, "I feel a little nauseous."
Yu Haiqiao: "Motion sickness? What did you have for lunch?"
I calmly asked Yu Haiqiao: "When was the last time I came to my aunt?" In fact, it was two minutes after one o'clock at noon today. The blood surged up, and then when I was squatting on the toilet, I found my aunt came, and I was angry by Yu Haiqiao, I think.
Yu Haiqiao: "It was just a few days last month."
This dog/forcibly remembers what my aunt remembers so clearly, I clenched my fists bitterly.
Yu Haiqiao, the dog/forced to speak: "Why don't you have dysmenorrhea?"
I sneered, because Yu Haiqiao's stupid brain circuit might not be able to respond to what I was talking about for a lifetime, so I decided to cut straight to the point: "Did you wear a condom last time?"
Yu Haiqiao's voice was slightly puzzled: "The last time was yesterday."
"..." I want to kill this dog, "last time!"
"I'm wearing it." Yu Haiqiao replied like a primary school student answering students' questions in class. After answering, he complained, "When do I not wear it?"
"My aunt hasn't come for more than a month." I turned my head to look in the direction of Yu Haiqiao, trying to keep my eyes sincere and moving.
I felt a little stunned in the driver's seat, and then he looked at me with a half-smile in the rearview mirror: "You came on the 22nd of last month."
I calmly told him: "You remember wrong."
Yu Haiqiao: "I have a software on my phone that remembers my aunt."
"..." I gritted my teeth, "Anyway, my aunt is very accurate. I think there is a problem if she hasn't come yet."
Yu Haiqiao said, "Today is only the eighteenth."
"..." I'm going to kill this dog, I originally wanted to lie to this dog that I might be pregnant, make him nervous, make him confused, and make him confused, but this dog/force didn't fall into the trap at all .
**
When I just graduated from university, we shared a bed with a sister, and solved personal problems very quickly, and got a cub in my stomach during the wedding, which happened to be held on a legal holiday. I lived at my parents’ house, and when I was waiting for the bus for the wedding, I ran into Yu Haiqiao coming home from vacation. He saw me and asked me where I was going. At that time, I had just graduated and worked, and Yu Haiqiao was still in graduate school.
How about distance creates beauty? I see Yu Haiqiao every day when I look up and look down. I just want to beat him up when I see him. He is studying at school while I work and live at my parents’ house. Going back to my parents' house to eat and drink and bring back the clothes that need to be washed for a week, but the time to see him is still less, so seeing him is a bit more pleasing to the eye than before. I told him that a sister in the dormitory got married and was going to the wedding. Yu Haiqiao looked at me twice and asked very meanly: "Why didn't she invite me?"
Because I am close to his university school, he basically knows my roommates, and occasionally hangs out with the people in their room. There are also people in our room who have a relationship with his roommate, and it turns out that birds of a feather flock together. Yu Haiqiao is a bitch As expected, the roommate is also a dog/pussy. After dating for three months, he said: "I'm sorry, I don't think you are suitable for me, let's break up."
My roommate was stunned at the time—why does it take three months to prove whether it is suitable or not? Because the roommate was in love for the first time in his life, he was sad for a long time, and lost more than ten catties in just a few months. Although the people in our dormitory didn't say anything about it, they were actually a little envious in their hearts.
—I lost more than ten catties in less than two months, I really want to fall in love and then fall in love...
Of course I didn’t say this to the broken-hearted person. We took turns to comfort her every day. I even called Yu Haiqiao and scolded him. Although Yu Haiqiao looked innocent, in fact no man is innocent. of!
After being severely scolded by me, he said to me very innocently: "But don't you only know if the shoes fit or not after you try them on?"
I was immediately angry: "Who the hell is the shoe?!"
After cursing and hanging up the phone, we crazily scolded the four people in Yu Haiqiao's dormitory together with the four people in the dormitory. After that, the people in our dormitory didn't like to play with Yu Haiqiao and the others.
And the reason why Yu Haiqiao and I are still playing...
I don't really know, maybe he explained to me later: "I didn't say you are shoes, I mean we can all be someone else's shoes."
When I didn't accept his explanation, he blinked his eyes and performed with great desire to perform: "I'm just a pair of shoes waiting for others to try on me."
Because his tone and expression at that time were too much to be beaten, so I beat him up hard, and said in disgust: "Disgusting!!"
Yu Haiqiao laughed wildly while hiding.
So my roommate got married, although it wasn't the roommate who was broken in love, but shouldn't it be obvious not to invite him
But Yu Haiqiao is astonishingly thick-skinned, he told me to wait for him after I finished talking about attending the wedding, and then drove me to the wedding venue happily in his father's car when he got home.
Because the roommate and the husband of the roommate are both students of our school, and both of them are locals, there are many classmates and familiar people at the scene. Even Yu Haiqiao saw two familiar people and warmly welcomed them. Say hello to others.
The result was that all the acquaintances present thought that Yu Haiqiao was my boyfriend. I came to the wedding and brought my fucking boyfriend to eat, and I got two meals for my own money!
Even my roommate who got married with a big belly asked me in the busy schedule of the wedding: "Are you with Yu Haiqiao?"
"?" I gave her a question mark, and Yu Haiqiao happily walked over to say congratulations. After my roommate walked away with a smile, I hit Yu Haiqiao backhanded.
"Are you acquainted with people? You come to attend their weddings. Are you ready for the money? Are you free to eat and drink at the wedding?!"
Yu Haiqiao blinked: "Didn't you give it?" He bent his eyes and smiled, "What's yours is mine and what's mine is yours, it's all the same. I spent a lot of money to give you a barbecue for your birthday last month frame."
"..." No one knows what this dog's brain circuit is like. He will give someone a barbecue on his birthday, and he will happily grill me a bunch of half-baked meat skewers and chicken wings. After listening to this sentence After speaking, I gritted my teeth and smiled at him, "Yu Gou, go to hell."
Yu Haiqiao grinned, and immediately changed the subject: "How many months has she been pregnant?"
"It's been more than six months." I didn't want to talk to her at first, but I couldn't help complaining when I saw my roommate welcoming the guests with her stomach up. "I feel a little unacceptable, and suddenly there is something more in my stomach."
Yu Haiqiao clicked his tongue twice.
But the time that really made me feel unacceptable was when my roommate gave birth to a baby. I went to the hospital because I had time. If I were to be a mother with such a character, I might beat my cub because of howling wildly, so I would conclude that I am not suitable to be a mother.
At that time, Yu Haiqiao was still in school, because I posted a message about the newborn’s circle of friends, he sent me a WeChat message: “Did you give birth?”
I sighed to Yu Haiqiao: "It's terrible, I will never have children in the future."
Yu Haiqiao said over there: "Then you won't be able to get married."
This dog/puss cursed me all day long that I couldn't get married, but I didn't get married until I was 27 years old, and finally married a dog/pussy like him.
Six months after I had sex with Yu Haiqiao, a dog/force, I seriously considered the matter of children with him. Yu Haiqiao told me very simply and neatly: "No birth." He also said at the time, "I As a child, I gave birth to a woolen child."
Because there is no such thing as a child in my plan, although this dog's attitude makes me feel that he is really not worthy of being a father, but I have reached a perfect consensus with him on this, and every time I pass Wear a condom very strictly during sex.
Once there was no condom at home, and Yu Haiqiao put on clothes and went downstairs to buy them. After I came back, I was not interested, and the two of them just lay on the bed and chatted.
Without turning on the lights at night, Yu Haiqiao and I chatted about the funny things that happened when we were young, about the stupid/crazy colleagues we met at work, and about a majestic yellow cat in the grass in the community.
In short, in a person's life, occasionally there will be one or two moments when he feels like a dog/pussy and not so dog/pussy.