365 Difficult Ways To Live

Chapter 127

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Different from the card paper on which the human bone X was drawn, this electronic "hand account" that records the details of Chu moving's life has almost no emotion. Color, it just states what Chu moving did, what was used, where and how long.

It's a genuine memo, I just had to print it out and put it on the refrigerator, reminding all the staff of the boss's work and rest time.

After watching it at the time, Chu Yu was also puzzled, why did Mu Shangqing pay so much attention to Chu moving? Come down meticulously

The explanation given by Chu Dongren himself was that Mu Shangqing felt that the murderer was about to attack him, so he had to understand his movements and protect him.

Muyu didn't care, and gave an explanation: this is the style of Chief Mu. He not only remembers the place of Chu, but also himself, flowers and grass, white clouds and blue sky, he will pay attention to everything that happens around him, Record the bits and pieces.

He and Xia Yihan are two extremes, Xia Yihan is slow and weak in response, and doesn't care about everything, while he is delicate and sensitive, and full of curiosity about everything.

Examining his delicate records, Chu Yu couldn't help feeling that the power of heredity was really great, sometimes it seemed like it was carved out of a mold, and sometimes it seemed like it was picked up from a rubbish heap.

After reading the exclusive record document of Chu moving, and found nothing unusual, Chu Yu rubbed his eyes and felt that there were stars in front of him.

Muyu handed her the medical report: "Why don't you go to sleep for a while, I'll take a closer look and call you if you have any questions?"

"Don't sleep now. After I finish this ticket, I will sleep for three days and three nights, and you won't wake up if you want to." She took the file, moved her eyes, and began to use her eyes again.

Muyu sat on the sofa to see if he could help, "Chu Chu, do you suspect there is something wrong?"

"The mental disorder detected at that time," Chu Yu stared at the column of additional symptoms, frowning, "mania."

"However, Gu Miao and the others have visited the residents of Hua Xie Ting in the past. They also said that Section Chief Mu would be irritable and frantic at times, but sometimes it was normal, and sometimes he turned his face and didn't recognize people, and he was easily irritated."

"I don't doubt this. What I doubt is the description and treatment of his problems by the Department of Chu."

As she said that, she raised her head and recalled, "According to what he said, Chief Mu's condition had eased a lot when he participated in the assessment, and he was almost no longer impulsive and irritable, and Chief Mu himself attributed this to leaving the original The environment, married and had children, has become a lot more cheerful and optimistic.

"Also, Chu Chu said that he pays special attention to Chief Mu, whether in life or psychologically, pay attention to his state, and both of them appreciate each other very much. Chu likes Chief Mu's perseverance and steadfastness. The section chief is grateful for the kindness and special care of the Chu Department."

"However," Muyu understood what Chu Yu meant on this point, "According to the previous officers' feedback, the Chu Division treats everyone equally, and can be regarded as a good and impartial leader. Moreover, he is very busy every day and has to coordinate various departments. Department, I don’t have time to pay attention to who. In addition, Chief Mu usually doesn’t talk much and concentrates on work. In interpersonal relationships, he is a gentleman’s friend, and he doesn’t have much interaction with Da Chu. Generally, he performs his own duties. Show a good relationship."

Chu Yu put the file on the computer table and pressed the palm of his hand, "This is the most contradictory part of the statement of the Department of Chu, but it can be explained. In the past, the Department of Superman was not as refined as us, with a large number of people and obvious job rank. In the case of competition, Da Chu may be afraid that he will pay too much attention to Chief Mu, which will cause dissatisfaction among other officers, so he quietly pays attention to it in his heart, and if anything happens, he will be called to the office or the third floor to talk privately."

Muyu pouted, "But do you completely believe this explanation?"

Chu Yu smiled helplessly and didn't say anything. Now she doesn't believe anything, unless the truth is completely deciphered and pushed back.

"So now, we need to get rid of the influence of the Great Chu Department, start from scratch, re-understand Section Chief Mu, and examine his inner monologue."

Muyu nodded, pulled another swivel chair over, and sat down with Chu Yu, "Come on, let's watch it together, when I heard about Chief Mu's being raped, and when I read his diary, I was apprehensive. For fear that there will be memories of the rapist, I can't help but smash the computer!"

Chu Yu turned his head and glanced: "How do you know that I want to read the diary?"

"Don't you want to examine your inner monologue?"

Chu Yu smiled slightly and found the folder where daily trivial matters were recorded. The first document was the diary.

Half a month ago, she worked overtime to read it and didn't find any breakthrough points, but she was still unwilling - diary, inner monologue, it is a person's most real and deepest reaction, how can there be no clues

Pointing the mouse over the document, black and white words appeared, and Chu Yu inserted a series of outstanding cases in chronological order.

(Six years ago on April 12, Hu Qingke in Wangjiang City died of hypothermia)

June 23

There have been a lot of things in the past few months, maybe I am too tired, and my mental state is not very good. I can always recall the things in my childhood, especially the jingle, as long as I think about it, I will feel uncomfortable.

In fact, I can basically face and accept the previous things, especially after I joined the current big family, I have established a friendly relationship with my colleagues.

Since college, I have learned to join groups and work with others, and the office is more of a supportive group. My colleagues and I help each other, discuss problems, build trust and a sense of security, and no one will use it again. They looked at me differently, they liked me, they appreciated me, and the achievements brought about by my work also made me feel satisfied.

Here, I feel very at ease, it is my second home.

But the experience of childhood is always there and will not change, and the only one who can make the change is myself.

Chu Chu told me that we need to "introspect" to improve our ability to understand and sort out our inner emotions, and then to grow.

Like writing, writing down my deepest emotions and thoughts, trying to feel the way events are and how they affect who I am now. In writing, I can connect the past with the present and really let the past pass.

Just like I am now, recording my feelings and emotions, I found that there are many happy things in life, and it is not so difficult to let go of the past and grow into the future.

I believe that I can become better, even if I think of that jingle, I will no longer be afraid, and Xiaohan will get better and better!

October 15

I have to say, Luoyu is a good place. There are many universities here, and there are the largest number of college students in the country. This time, I was invited by the police to cooperate with the interrogation work. The workload was not large, so Chu Chu did not live in the government hotel, but booked a unique hotel outside. There was a Sichuan restaurant opposite, and the taste was very good.

The owner is a husband and wife, both surnamed He, the female owner is called He Lan, and the male owner is called He Zhiping. They are both bosses and waiters. They tidy up the room, cook and prepare snacks, repair electrical appliances, and help customers with luggage and takeaways. They are really hardworking and capable.

They also have an old mother, my Auntie Shi, who is an old shop owner, haha. Auntie Shi can be regarded as a local aboriginal. She has traveled all over Luoyu's corners and corners, and can be called a living travel guide.

She told us that if you want to travel, you can visit the park at the back, the air is fragrant, the environment is beautiful, and there is a university next to it, which is also a good place. The school is old and has many trees. It is built on the mountain. Like the park, there are cherry blossoms in spring , there are maple leaves and small animals in autumn.

After she finished eating, she occasionally went for a walk inside, and even saw a little fox. She wanted to buy a pet fox to feed, but her daughter always disagreed, saying that it was too dirty and could not be domesticated.

So I suggested to my auntie that I could buy a small hamster, and it would be fun to feed it.

In the end, Aunt Shi really went to the pet market, hahaha, what a lovely auntie.

(Six years ago on October 17, Luoyu Shiling died by hanging)

January 18

The sun is shining today, perfect for going out in the sun. Chu Chu invited me, Brother Wang, and Section Chief Gu out for tea. Although there were no investigations during this time, it was relatively leisurely, but we were not in a good mood. Something bad happened last month.

But Chu Chu still wanted us to relax, chat, and drink tea. We are all older otakus, we usually live in Chu, and there are almost no entertainment activities. Chu Chu guessed that our morale was low during this time. So I want to enlighten.

We went to the small teahouse by the lake. The sun is shining today. The boss put the tables and chairs on the wooden path outside, facing the lake and mountains, which is a good place to chat.

Chu Chu ordered a pot of black tea, which is suitable for drinking in winter, de-oiling appetizers, and keeping warm to keep out the cold. Brother Wang also asked for a set of cards. The four of us fought landlords and chatted while fighting, like an old man who started his retirement life.

Soon, a table of people came to greet Chu Chu. It turned out to be his neighbor, surnamed Bai. They were a family. They drove to the lake to play, parked the car outside, walked around the lake, and came to rest when they were tired.

Chu Chu introduced us to a family of three, saying that we were all colleagues and had nothing to do to "gather together to gamble".

Mr. Bo's son is called Bo Mengmeng. He is very cute. He has big eyes and full apple muscles. Looking so endearing.

After that, the "gambling" continued. The four of us continued to draw cards. Mengmeng slipped over and watched quietly, saying that he wanted to learn to fight landlords.

His mother met and called a deck of cards. Their family of three also played, but they were playing while learning, and the tables and chairs on both sides were close together, so they could hear their conversation.

The family is really happy. Mr. Bo patiently explained to Mengmeng which card is bigger and which is smaller. Mengmeng was very interested at first, but after learning for a while, he couldn't sit still and wanted to come over to watch us play. Said: I just want to watch others fight, I don't want to fight.

His mother tempted him and said: If you learn the cards, I will buy you two new clothes next week.

As a result, Mengmeng said: When I learn it, I won't need you to buy it, because I will win all your money.

We laughed and liked the kid a lot.

Later, we met again in a self-service barbecue restaurant. We felt that we had a good relationship, so we just got together. Mr. Bo was very interested in us. He knew that the people around Chu Chu were different, so he wanted to meet them.

At the dinner table, everyone had a good time. Brother Wang performed "clairvoyance". He has excellent eyesight and can see the small characters on the wall at a distance of seven or eight meters through the lampblack. Section Chief Gu performed mental arithmetic, within seven digits Adding, subtracting, multiplying and dividing, he came casually, and Mr. Bo was shocked and wanted Mengmeng to take him as his teacher.

I showed my memory, Chu Chu asked the waiter to bring the price list, including all the barbecue ingredients in the store, there were five or six pages, and gave me three minutes to read it. After that, Miss Liao took the price list to test me, and she said the name of the dish , I said the price, or she said the price, and I reported all the corresponding dishes.

Mr. Bai was shocked again, and the skewered meatballs were almost burnt.

In the end, Mengmeng also performed a stunt, he performed the big stomach king, and one person ate three people's share - we were all stunned and applauded him.

After the party today, we were all very happy. On the way home, I was thinking, if I had given Xiaohan a younger brother or sister at that time, I would pester her every day and make her happy. She should not be alone at home alone. .

But maybe I thought too much, she guessed that she had a good time alone, haha.

(On January 25, five years ago, Bai Mengmeng in Wangjiang City died in a fire)

January 28

I miss Anan. It's two in the morning. I finally fell asleep and woke up again. It was so uncomfortable. I wanted to take sleeping pills, but Chu Chu wouldn't let me take any pills. He told me that if I felt uncomfortable, I went to see him, but he is so busy every day that if I take up his rest time again, he will not even have time to talk to his family.

I remembered a long, long time ago, every time I was uncomfortable, Anan would hug me from behind and pass my body temperature to me, and then my discomfort was like an ice cube, which was covered by her, slowly melted, and melted. After that, I got better.

But now she's gone. Although she's been gone for six years, I still miss her. I still remember her body fragrance, the shape of her nails, and the slight itching when her hair rubbed against the back of my neck. She has melted into my body and will never be forgotten.

Sometimes when I see Xiaohan at home alone, I want to decide whether to remarry, and someone to help take care of Xiaohan, but I can't get over my own hurdle. Except for Anan, I will never fall in love with other women. I believe Xiaohan is the same, except for Anan. Anan, she will no longer recognize other people as mothers.

I feel terrible.

Whenever I feel uncomfortable like this, I hope that Anan can be by my side, even if she is sick later, although she is very cold to me and ignores me, but as long as I look at her and know that she is by my side, I feel a lot better. .

February 16

During this period of time, I have been running back and forth between the Superman Office and the Public Security Bureau. I am a little too busy, but I still hope that I can help my friends in the bureau. They have not had a holiday this New Year. They work overtime to investigate and accompany Xiaohan after finishing. , I was also busy with them, and I was always apprehensive, seeing if I could do my part to help solve the case.

March 18

Now I feel that I am much better, I don’t lose my temper, and I don’t get angry easily. Even after Anan leaves, I can control my emotions, although sometimes I feel very sad and feel empty in my heart. But maybe because I have Xiaohan and I have goals in my work, I am not depressed and live a fulfilling life every day.

Xiaohan has grown up gradually. Although she is still small and fat, she looks like a low-grade elementary school student, but she has already started junior high school and is an older child.

However, her temperament has not changed at all, she doesn't like to talk, she is extraordinarily quiet, as if she is not interested in human beings and society. In fact, Xiaohan's teacher has contacted me many times and asked me to take her to see a psychiatrist, or to have a general examination.

I also want to take her to see it, but Xiaohan always rejects it. Like me, she rejects the word mental illness. I don't know if it has something to do with her mother. Anan committed suicide because of mental disorders.

But Xiaohan doesn't go, and I won't force her. Others say she has no feelings, but I can feel that at least she likes me. Last year's Father's Day, she cut a three-dimensional card by herself and opened it. A house rose from the ground. In front of the house, there was a little girl and a tall, thin man.

I know that the little girl is her, and the tall man is me. Xiaohan likes me. I can see from her eyes that she recognizes me as a father.

So I believe that Xiaohan just reacts a little slower, and feels a few dozen beats slower than ordinary people, but it doesn't mean that she has no feelings. She is smart, rational, calm, independent, and can cook, craft, and learn independently. She can think critically, and she can live a normal life in society in the future.

I'm just worried about her interpersonal relationship. Except for me, she doesn't seem to talk to anyone very much. She is cold and cold, so I heard from the teacher that she has no friends at school, and other children still reject her a little bit. gregarious.

But what makes me happy is that during dinner today, Xiaohan told me that she had a friend with a cold character in her name, but the girl gave her the title of "Xiaohan".

Although she only said a few words, I was still very happy. Xiaohan finally has friends, and she also shares a school with her, so that they can be together every day, and become the best friends in a junior high school and a high school in the future.

My wish has always been that Xiaohan can make friends, and now that wish has come true, I am so happy!

May 1

Today is Labor Day. Chu Chu, Section Chief Gu and Section Chief Ai are all working in Fushan Hospital.

In the past, we were all very motivated to "work", but this time, although our motivation was undiminished, we were always nervous and cautious in everything we did, for fear of accidents.

This time, Chu Chu also asked the entire security department to dispatch, together with the security of the hospital, to patrol and check in Fushan. The places with surveillance are also open 24 hours a day. As for him himself, his life trajectory was simplified to the extreme. Instead of staying in a hotel outside, he slept in the ward. He went to Ward 513 during the day to check the condition of the target person. Sometimes I accompanied him, sometimes Section Chief Gu accompanied him, Go back to the ward to sleep at night.

The schedule is both strict and monotonous.

But Chu Chu was very happy today. He had an accidental discovery. The patients who lived in ward 413 also had something different. I heard President Qin say that he has symptoms of hysteria, and he is quite emotional. Nonsense, sometimes very naive, nesting in the corner afraid of seeing people, but in a few cases, he will change himself into a doctor, analyze his own condition, and act like a normal person.

Chu Chu was very interested in him, and even had a feeling of seeing each other late. He also said that he would mention it to him, and if he wanted, let me meet and communicate with him.

When I thought of meeting him, I was also excited, and I felt a sense of sympathy. In fact, he and I were very similar—both had psychological problems, but I discovered, understood, tried to solve them, and finally healed myself.

I have never talked about my experience with anyone except Chu Chu. I believe that after meeting with "Dr. Lu", there must be a lot of common topics.

Looking forward to meeting him!

(Five years ago on May 4, Lu Xuanwen in Changyan City died of panic)

May 22

There was an accident at Xiaohan's school. I heard that the child in the accident also had the character Han in his name, so I guessed whether it was Xiaohan's good friend.

But Xiaohan didn't answer, she instead asked me if I was tired from work.

How should I put it, a lot of things have happened recently, not only at work, but also very unexpected situations. I feel like a lump of lead is stuck in my heart. If I don't understand them all, I'm panicking, so I'm also more tired than my colleagues. The pressure will also be greater.

I told Xiaohan not to worry about me, but she told me not to go to work, she raised me.

Hey, this child, I must have been too haggard recently, and I was too busy to catch her attention. I never mentioned my work to Xiaohan, she only knew that it was very confidential, and it was common for her to work overtime on business trips.

She's always understood me, but I've been so busy lately that she can't stand it anymore.

But I have to be busy. I have to try my best to figure things out and protect Chu Chu. I believe that this time will pass and it will be much better.

(On May 21, five years ago, Xia Yihan died of drowning in Wangjiang City)