She still doesn't understand why people's hearts are so changeable, and she doesn't understand why a person suddenly becomes completely different from the original one.
Even that kind of joy didn't last for three days before it was torn to pieces by the one I loved.
She turned out to be an arrogant, proud, and cold person. She never felt tenderness towards anyone, including her parents. They were very kind to her. Even though her family was poor, her parents tried their best to provide her with food and clothing. It was also because she felt that she needed to fulfill her filial piety and share some of the worries for her parents like a normal person.
When she was with them, she didn't have such a beating heart. She didn't get joy from them, but she got such joy from Baili Fu'en, who was a stranger to her.
The look he looked at her was fiery, adoring, and longing, like looking at the priest on the altar. In those days when she didn't care about him, he always tried his best to get close to her. He wanted to make her happy, To make her happy, even though he knew she might never smile at him once, he was still enthusiastic about the futility.
Therefore, she wanted to understand what kind of feelings he had for her, and what exactly the joy that burst out from the bottom of her heart was that Fu'e mentioned.
When she resolutely gave the joy that did not belong to her to another man, when she thought she could draw the same joy from him, she didn't know that she had entered a dead end with no exit, and she was spinning in it. .
But why is this happening suddenly
He said, he said, if she smiles once in this life, it would be worth dying for her.
When she couldn't understand his confession, she just wanted to laugh at his hypocrisy. But when she had that kind of passion, she didn't hesitate to fall into the trap, a trap called the love between men and women, which is ancient and vicious.
She didn't even have time to savor the man's smiling eyes towards her, before she could clearly see the calculation in the corners of his eyes, and before she could catch the sigh in his words, she had already begun to lose it.
Lose that joy, and the warmth disappears from the palms of your hands.
Joy was no longer joy, but sadness and doubt that made her heart tremble a hundred times more than joy.
The little girl didn't figure out where she was wrong at all, why the man hated her overnight, or maybe he never cared about her, but just walked by a flower tree by chance, thinking When she wanted to break off a branch and take it away, the tree thought that he really loved her and gave it to him with all the flowers that had fallen from the branches, but he turned around and walked away, saying that the flower was no longer beautiful.
Aren't the flowers that fall on the ground just flowers
However, this flower fell for him. It landed on his shoulder and smelled his scent. It landed on the top of his hair. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. He didn't seem to know at all. He patted the petals on his body and walked away. , and blamed her for soiling his new clothes.
She loves him, even if she didn't know it before, she understands it now.
Just when she was ready to respond to him properly and spend the rest of her life with him, he got tired of it.
And she, she didn't understand, the response was wrong.
She is a lonely lotus in the middle of the water that can only be viewed from a distance but not played with. She will always be accompanied by the water waves under the green leaves. She even has no companions.
This is also the beauty of her.
She didn't understand that when the lonely lotus was picked and left out of the water, without the quietness and loneliness, it was no different from the ordinary lotus.
Even with a pretty face, in his eyes, she was no different from some pretty women in brothels.
Xin He still remembers him holding her waist and sending her to pick flowers, and he protected her.
She asked Baili Fuhe, "At that time, he said that he would protect me for the rest of his life."
Baili Fucai didn't take it seriously, "So?"
"You promised that you would protect me forever, why did you suddenly change?"
She asked Xinhe, "Did you give it to him?"
"I want to give him everything. He loves me so sincerely."
Baili Fuhe was helpless, "If you go for a walk on the street, there will be a few men who don't look at you. What's the difference between him and those people?"
"Yes! He is different from others."
"You know how wrong you are?"
"What's wrong?" She became stupid at this time.
"My brother is not sincere. I don't know if other men are like him, but my brother, Baili Fu'en, is like this. He enjoys conquest and freshness. You gave it to him easily. You have lost all opportunities for negotiation. What do you have except his rare appreciation for you and your pretty face? "
She asked in confusion, "Am I not beautiful now?"
"No, you are still beautiful." Bailifu'e suddenly felt pity for her and thought she was a big fool, "It's just that he doesn't like you anymore."
"So, what's the problem?"
Bailifu'e realized that he couldn't convince her, so he stood up and pushed her and said, "You have turned a deaf ear to what I said until now?"
"I listened to what you said and I was wondering if it was right or wrong."
"Of course what I said is not wrong. There is no one in this world who understands my brother better than me."
"You have an embarrassing status now. Even if you let the matter go, mother will just put you in his room as a concubine. Otherwise, if she thinks you have broken the rules of the Prince's Mansion, she will kick you out." Bailifu Calyx said honestly.
"Why is your identity so embarrassing?"
"Have all your sages' books been read into the dog's belly?" She poked her forehead and found that Xin He was running a fever.
"I still don't understand."
"Without chastity, you have no family background. Even if you learn a few words, my father and mother will not help you. What's more, you have fallen out of favor. My brother doesn't like you anymore and he will not marry you. .”
Xin He was alone in a daze, looking at the ground. She felt that something was about to jump out of her heart, or about to jump out of her eye sockets, but in the end it didn't happen. Her chest did not burst. Her eyes were not red.
She just felt very uncomfortable and wanted to cry just like Baili Fucai did when she lost her temper, but she couldn't cry. She felt uncomfortable all over. She couldn't speak, and her throat hurt when she gasped.
She wanted to cover her eyes and sleep for a while, she wanted to disappear from this earth.
Bailifu'e went out and said, "Go and make a bowl of ginger soup."
"What's the matter, miss? It rained last night and you got gonorrhea?" the maid who was waiting for her asked, "But it rained last night and the miss didn't go out."
"It's not for me, it's for...forget it, I'm telling you what to do, why don't you go quickly!"
When he turned around, he saw that she had fallen to the ground.
Baili Fu'e was shocked, "Xinhe, Xinhe, how are you?"
…
It was Baili Fuhe who lost his temper with him, so he took a look at her. Her face was pale, and her usual charm was no longer the same. He felt upset and turned his face away. She asked her coldly, "Why are you sick?"
Xin He's mouth was astringent, and she forced out a smile. She didn't know that he had seen that flattering smile on other people's faces so many times that he felt it was despicable.
"I'm not sick. I wanted to see you, so I asked her to trick you into coming here."
He looked at her coldly and said, "It doesn't matter. From now on, you and I will never offend each other."
"I..." She had many things to ask him, wanted to ask him, and wanted to hug her? I want to ask him if he misses her these days? However, she couldn't ask anything.
Because she saw hatred in his eyes.
It was the unintentional look in the eyes of passers-by when they looked at the dirty-dressed beggar on the street. They didn't even realize it, as if their eyes were soaked in venom.
"If you want gold and silver, I will naturally send them to your house, which will be enough for you to marry into a good family in the future."
"Marry into a good family?" She felt that she had heard wrongly.
"What's wrong with you?" he asked her.
"I told you, if you don't want to, I can give up. It's you who nodded. You can't blame me. I will let my parents make the decision to get married in the future. It is impossible to bring someone into the room before getting married. It is against the rules. .”
"You originally said you wanted to grow old together with me. Did you lie to me?"
"Of course it's a lie. This is true for both men and women. When you're in love, you can say anything. It's just that I'm tired of you now. In that case, even if you beg me, I won't-"
"I beg you." She interrupted him suddenly.
Baili Fuen didn't react for a moment, "What?"
"I beg you, say one more thing like that to me."
Baili Fu'en found it funny and finally laughed out loud. He pinched her thin chin and said, "I have never thought you were so humble before."
"I'm in so much pain. It hurts so much here." She pointed to her heart and seemed to be crying but not crying.
The girl only knew this, but she still couldn't accept this fleeting love.
"Then what do you want me to do?"
"Can you please help me stop the pain? I feel the pain spreading down my arms and into my heart. I am in so much pain that I can't lift my hands and I don't dare to take a big breath," she said.
She struggled to sit up and kissed the corner of his lips, but he pushed her aside, "That's enough!"
Baili Fuen walked away angrily.
She didn't care about her illness, so she had to go to him to take back her joy. She couldn't afford this thing.
It hurt so much, like a sharp sword piercing from the palm of my hand to the apex of my heart, severing the meridians.
(End of chapter)