All this seems like a dream.
Twelve Niang smiled and said, "It's almost noon. I asked the maid to make hot sweet soup. Do you want to use some?"
He looked at her bright smile and could not feel her illness at all. Everyone said she was sick, but in his eyes, there was no woman smarter or healthier than her.
He looked at her with fascination. In his eyes, her paleness was like the light radiating from the beautiful jade in the blue field, a kind of holy beauty. She smiled slightly, just like a child's innocent smile.
Gongyang Nong felt that the person who was sick was not Twelve Niangs, but himself. He was already terminally ill. Even if the woman asked him to die immediately, he would not hesitate.
While they were drinking sweet soup, several more of her friends came, some men and some women. They gathered together in twos and threes and talked and gave drinking orders until the evening. He kept trying to dissuade her from stopping and asked her to stop. She took care of herself, but the men and women were all right and allowed her to drink wine to warm herself up and prevent the cold air from entering her body.
Later, these people all drank too much, and men and women hugged each other. Some people smoked Wushisan in front of Twelve Niangs. Their eyes were blurred, and the words they said were unpleasant. But the more unpleasant they said, the more unpleasant their actions were. It was obscene, and Twelve Niang laughed even more heartily.
Gongyang Nong observed her quietly, his heart cut like a knife. He didn't know why a woman could ruin herself to such an extent.
Soon, after drinking another jar of wine, she coughed at the table until she was out of breath. The cough made her unable to breathe. She had to lean on the cushion behind her, raised her head and gasped hard. She patted her chest and thought I had to take a few more breaths, but my face was still red from holding it in.
Coughing and coughing, Gongyang Nong saw tears falling from the corners of her eyes.
She coughed hard, as if she wanted to cough out her lungs. The maid handed her a handkerchief and took it. She casually wiped the corner of her mouth, and the handkerchief was dotted with blood.
"What's wrong with you?" Gongyang Nong asked quickly.
Her friend seemed not to be surprised, "Don't worry about her, she is always in such a bad mood, just let her cough for a while and she will be fine."
They said flatly.
Twelve Niang stood up and walked into the inner room, holding the handkerchief tightly in her hand.
Gong Yangnong couldn't hold back his temper at all, pushed away the glasses that the people in front of him were offering to drink, and broke into the inner room.
As soon as he entered, he saw her leaning on a heavy wooden chair, her hands hanging weakly on the ground. She opened her mouth wide, trying to relieve some of the pain caused by breathing. There were two or three handkerchiefs beside the wooden chair, all stained. Blood.
Gong Yangnong walked up to her, took out the handkerchief from his sleeve, and wiped the blood from the corners of her mouth. At first, she closed her eyes slightly and didn't notice anyone coming in. Until he wiped the corners of her mouth with his handkerchief, she It seems that he has become conscious.
"Why are you here?" Twelve Niang asked weakly.
Gongyang Nong rested her head on his shoulder, sat on the floor next to her, and gently stroked her back to smoothen her breath.
"You have a bad cough. Shall we see the doctor later?"
She said no, "It's not as bad as you think. My old friends who have been with me for many years say that I don't need to worry about my illness. Why are you worried about me?"
The male sheep was so angry that he was shaking all over, "Why are you doing this to yourself?"
Twelve Niang didn't say anything, she stood up holding on to the wooden chair beside her, looked at the mirror in the inner room, and saw that she looked like a dead person in a coffin, she laughed and said, "Look at me, I look like a person who has returned to the light of day. !”
She had just coughed badly, and now her hair was messed up. Her usual aloofness and mockery were gone, leaving only a pitiful little girl with a scalp.
She said, "I have stopped coughing. Let's go out and continue drinking."
Gongyang Nong lowered his head and remained motionless even as she came to hold his hand.
Twelve Niang saw him sitting on the ground with his head lowered, and could not see the expression on his face clearly.
She had to squat in front of him to see if he was angry.
"What’s wrong with you?"
She raised Gong Yang's thick face and saw his tears.
A man actually burst into tears because of her ignorant words.
The Twelfth Mother was in a hurry, "Did I make you cry?"
Gongyang Nong said no, "I feel uncomfortable in my heart."
"Why?"
"I used to think that they were just joking when they said you were seriously ill, but today I found out that it was all true. I wanted to advise you to take care of yourself, but you refused to listen. I am impatient and helpless, and I really don't know what to do with you."
Twelfth Mother looked at him intently, "Cry for a woman like me. When you get older, you will know how ridiculous this is. I only know how to have fun, so God is punishing me. This is what I should do." Got it."
"No god would punish such a poor girl. Don't think too much about it. You should take good care of yourself."
"Xiang An, you know, I can survive today only because of such a drunken life. Without such indulgence, I am afraid I would have died long ago. I can't stay in this place alone. I need a lot of excitement. I'm afraid of the dark, the cold, and even more afraid of loneliness. Even if the excitement is just an illusion, I admit it. I just don't want to be alone. Do you know why I invited you here? Just because I gave birth to my baby for half a year last time. I'm sick. Except for that annoying ghost who often comes to bother me, no one cares about my life or death. You are the only one who always comes to see me. Although I haven't seen you and don't know who you are, I am very happy in my heart. I'm really happy to have someone who really cares about me."
"As long as you want, I can stay with you forever." Gongyang said thickly.
An awkward smile appeared on Twelve Niang's face, "How can this count? I don't believe that anyone can accompany me for the rest of my life, so I can't promise you."
"You want to reject me? Is it because I don't have the money to support you?"
Twelve Mother said no, "You can't give me what I need."
"What do you want, tell me."
"You will never know what I want, but I already know what you want." Twelve Niang said.
"What do I want?"
"I."
Gongyang sighed, "Since you know it, why are you still teasing me and just giving me a yes? If you say yes, I will marry you immediately and never marry again in this life. I will not marry you except you." Be accepting of others.”
Twelve Niang said no, "Don't think like that, and don't be sincere to me. I won't give you what you want. Do you understand? I am a selfish woman who likes to think about things. I like to find things." I am a 'model' who is despised by all women for having fun, being greedy for sex, and being frivolous. You should not make any promises to me."
He listened to her words without saying a word.
Then he said, "But—I love you."
She suddenly couldn't help crying, "Stupid, you don't know anything about me, so you just say such things to me?"
"I am not ignorant. I know that you are numbing yourself with wine and sex. I know that none of this is what you asked for. I also know that it is very painful for you to enter this situation. Stay with me and hold my hand. I will drag you out of the mire.”
Twelve Niang came closer to his face and kissed him. Her lips were lighter than ordinary women's lips due to long-term illness. The lip lines were close to his lip lines. The lines were close to each other, like a secret of fit. Secrets that cannot be spoken or seen in the light of day.
(End of chapter)