Under the repeated urging of Xiaobo, I started to write slowly. Considering that Xiaobo belongs to the dragon, I spent three days, combining the Chinese dragon totem and the western fire dragon, to draw a flying dragon with wings, flying in the vast sky, but the wings were nailed by a sword, and the clouds around the dragon All dyed blood red.
When Ah Jian saw the pattern, he said cautiously: "The pattern is very big, I'm afraid I have to finish it in many times, or my body won't be able to bear it."
Xiaobo lay on the folding bed and said, "I'm not in a hurry, you can write slowly."
I sat on the sofa beside me and watched Ah Jian stab the first stroke on his clean back. I wanted to leave, but Xiaobo stopped me: "Qiqi, stay with me."
I walked back, moved a small bench, sat in front of him, and asked, "Does it hurt?"
"A little bit."
I took his hand and he closed his eyes. I watched silently as the pattern unfolded a little on his back.
When I was drawing the pattern, Xiaobo kept urging him in a hurry, as if he wanted to get the tattoo done right away, but when he actually drew the pattern, he was not in a hurry. , continue tomorrow.
Because he was paid very generously and paid by the day, Ah Jian was also happy to paint for a few more days, but no matter how slow he was, after a month, all the stabs would be finished.
Ah Jian looked at the broken-wing flying dragon on Xiaobo's back with a sense of accomplishment: "I have been tattooing people since I was sixteen, and this is the best tattoo I have done so far."
Xiaobo asked me, "Qiqi, what do you think?"
"very good."
After all, boys are different from girls. Ah Jian may not have formally studied painting, but he has talent. After his re-creation, Long has added a bit of pride to the world, but the bloody wings are particularly hideous.
Ah Jian asked Xiaobo expectantly, "Would you like to look at it in a big mirror."
Xiaobo got up, put on his clothes, and said, "There will be time in the future to take a look."
He took me to eat mutton kebabs, and after eating mutton kebabs, the sun was already setting, and we were walking on the boulevard when he suddenly said, "Qiqi, let's break up our friendship!"
I suspected that my ears had misheard and looked at him in surprise. He smiled and said, "We broke off friendship. We will never be friends again, and we will never communicate again."
The setting sun reflected red light all around, and there was a sweet fragrance of flowers in the air. His smile was very calm and gentle. Everything was the same as the countless summer evenings we spent together. !"
He smiled and opened his hands: "Would you like to give me one last hug?"
I smiled and said, "It turned out to be an excuse to take advantage of me? I won't give you a hug!"
He didn't allow me to refuse, he took me into his arms and hugged him tightly, I hugged him with a smile, and said silently in my heart, "Everything will be fine, everything will be fine."
After a long, long time, he let go of me and said with a smile, "Send you home."
I punched him with a smile: "Next time, think of a better excuse."
The two of them walked giggling, still as usual, there was still a distance from my house, he stopped, and I waved to him: "I'll come to you tomorrow."
He stood in the sunset, staring at me, smiling quietly.
I ran forward at a brisk pace, and when I was about to turn in front of the building, I turned around and waved to him. I couldn't see his expression, but only saw the sunset glowing red in the sky, and his long body was bathed in orange-red light.
The next day, I went to the karaoke hall to find Xiaobo, and the people in the karaoke hall told me: "Brother Xiaobo no longer manages the karaoke hall, he wants to manage other business."
"Then where is he now?"
"do not know."
I stared at him in disbelief, and he said apologetically, "Brother Xiao Bo wants us to tell you that he doesn't want to see you again. Please don't come again in the future. In the future, Brother Xiao Bo's business will not allow you to enter."
I asked loudly, "Did you make a mistake? I'm Luo Qiqi!"
He just looked at me sympathetically, as he looked at countless women who were suddenly thrown away by their boyfriends, but still refused to accept the reality. My self-esteem was hurt, and I turned around and left.
As I walked, the scenes from yesterday were replayed before my eyes. Suddenly, my body began to tremble and I squatted on the ground. Xiaobo is no joke! He really wants to break up with me!
But why? what I did wrong
I got on my bicycle and rushed to the "side of the water". The gatekeeper saw me and blasted out. I tried to enter, but they pushed me to the ground and warned me that if I tried to break in again, they would notify me. parents and schools.
Everyone who came and went looked at me, tears welling up in my eyes, but I resisted and stood up, hid to one side, and sat on the ground and waited.
When it was getting dark, I saw a familiar motorcycle approaching, I ran over immediately, someone stopped me, and I shouted, "Xu Xiaobo, make it clear, where did I offend you?"
Xiaobo didn't turn his head back, handed the motorcycle to his younger brother to park, and walked into the dance hall while taking off his helmet.
In the neon flickering, I finally couldn't hold back, and the tears began to fall.
Brother Li's car was parked aside, he rolled down the window, and instructed the person who was still pushing me out, "Get out of the way first."
I looked at him with tears in my eyes, and he said, "Qiqi, don't come to us again, you know Xiaobo's character very well. Once he makes up his mind, he won't be able to pull back the nine cows. You won't be allowed to enter the field, all the brothers have to be ordered to death."
Brother Li started to close the window and gestured to the driver to drive, I cried and asked, "Why?"
"Qiqi, you and we are not on the same path, you have your own path to go."
The window was closed, and Brother Li's car drove away.
I kept crying, am I not on the same path as you? So who am I on the same path? I moved to this city when I was seven, and I met you when I was nine. Now six years have passed. Xiaobo took me to almost every place in this city on a bicycle. Almost all the memories of this city are related to you. You are now Tell me, I'm not on the same path as you guys!
I didn't go to Xiaobo again, because I knew that he said that breaking up the friendship means breaking up the friendship. Even if I cried to death in front of him, he would not look at me again. How noisy, he said ignore me, he will never ignore me.
After breaking up with Xiaobo, I suddenly became a person with no friends and nowhere to go.
My sister practiced the electronic piano at home every day. I thought she was noisy, and she thought I was disturbing her by staying at home. I asked her to close the door to practice the piano, and she said impatiently: "It's very hot in summer, and if you close the door, you won't be suffocated to death? You Why don't you go and find friends to play with?"
It turned out that I was often away from home, and this home was not used to my presence, so I had to put on my shoes and go out.
With pocket money, I bought a pack of inferior cigarettes and sat by the river to smoke.
The water is exactly the same as before, but everything has changed.
On a hot and quiet summer day, I was sitting under the big sun, smoking slowly one cigarette after another. I remembered that just a year ago, I was still on the sofa with Xiaofei, chatting about the future. , discussing whether Tsinghua University or Peking University is better; Xiaobo and I also go to the lotus pond to recite English every morning and review our homework together.
When I think about it, there is a distant and unreal feeling, but, it is only a year, why is the whole world completely changed in just one year
Thinking of the long three years of high school, I suddenly felt very tired, and I began to truly understand Lin Lan's decision to go to secondary school. I was just tired and unable to support it, so I wanted to end it quickly and give myself a result.
I sat by the river day after day, smoking pack after pack of cigarettes, and made up my mind.
In the evening, after dinner, I said to my parents, "Don't go out to dance. After I finish washing the dishes, I want to discuss something with you."
My solemnity made my parents also solemnly. They all sat down on the sofa and asked nervously, "What's the matter? Just say it, put the tableware and chopsticks in the kitchen first."
I said, "I don't want to go to high school anymore."
Dad's expression changed immediately, and his mother pressed his arm, implying that he should not be in a hurry, looked at me and asked, "Why?"
"There's no reason. I just don't want to study anymore. I want to start working early. I can go to the technical school. I'll definitely be admitted and I'll be able to work in two years."
Dad's face was ashen: "Although our family is not rich, we don't expect you to make money to support the family. Whether you want to study or not, you must go to high school."
I said lightly: "You insisted that I go to high school, but I can only go. Whoever said you are parents, I am a daughter, I have to listen to you. But if I go to the technical school now, I can still pass the test. It’s a good major, if you don’t agree, in a few years, I might not even be able to get into the technical school.”
Dad stood up abruptly and slapped him with a big palm. Mom hurriedly hugged him and pushed him out: "You go out first, I'll talk to Qiqi alone for a while."
Mom sat across from me, and I looked at her in silence, thinking indifferently that there was no way she could make me change my mind.
She thought for a long time before she began to speak: "I know that you have always resented us for sending you to your grandfather, and you have always felt that we are partial and better for my sister, but you are all born to me, and the palms and backs of your hands are full of flesh. Your father and I have the same heart for you, but my sister is more lively and likes to talk, so we naturally communicate more with her; you are more silent and refuse to tell us anything, so we communicate with you Naturally less. Think for yourself, did your mother say anything wrong? Every day when we eat together, my sister always tells us everything that happened at school, but you don’t say anything. We ask you and want to communicate with you. You just say 'nothing' and just pass it off."
I am silent, am I born to be silent and eccentric
"Actually, your father and I worry about you no less than your sister. If your sister did something wrong, we scolded her directly. She cried a lot, and the next day, she called her father and father, and she never stopped. You will have a relationship with us, but what about you? You are stubborn and stubborn, you are afraid that you will rebel if you talk too much, and you will not be relieved if you don't talk about it." Mom said with red eyes.
In fact, I understand the truth. It's not that they don't love me. If they really don't love me, they can directly let me go to technical school, which saves worry and money. It's just that when it comes to specific little things, there will be unconscious biases, but no parent in the world will admit that they are biased. They feel that those are trivial things that are irrelevant, but they don't know that a child's world is made up of countless trivial things.
"Your grandfather and grandmother are from big families. Grandma attended a foreign school and can speak English. Grandpa is a famous engineer, but neither of their two daughters has received higher education. Education expenses, your aunt was at odds with your stepmother. While your grandfather was out to inspect the project, she stole the household registration book and hired a job. This is the pain of your grandfather's life. Listen to me and your aunt's name. , you should know that your grandfather has high hopes for your two daughters, but we all let him down. He put his wish on you, and before he died, he specially left you more than 20,000 yuan, saying that it was for you He told me to train you to go to university, and said that if you go to university, you must remember to visit him at his grave."
No one talked to me about my grandfather for many years, and my tears fell uncontrollably one by one.
"More than 20,000 yuan is not a small sum even now, let alone a few years ago? Your grandmother took advantage of your grandfather's serious illness and stole all the family's passbooks and hid them. Grandpa had a rough life, Your aunt and I didn't want him to see his relatives fighting for inheritance before he died, so we coaxed him to say that the money had already been received. After your grandfather died, your aunt even gave up half of the property that she should have inherited, and as long as you My grandfather's drawings and collection of books, I just took the "Eternal Heaven and Dragon Slayer" copied by him." When my mother talked about the sad part, she also began to cry, "Don't remember to hate your grandmother, she has no children, so it is very hard to catch money. Prison, your aunt and I don’t blame her. Although your father and I don’t have much money, as long as you can read, we will provide you with everything you need to do. You just need to remember your grandfather’s feelings for you.”
Mom wiped away her tears and said, "Although your grandfather really wants you to go to college, I don't want to force you. You are not too young this year. You are fifteen years old. At your age, I have already worked in a factory. It's been a year. Your father helped people unload coal on the railway to earn tuition for himself. I believe you should be able to think for yourself and make a decision. If you still decide to go to the technical school, I will convince your father to allow you to go to the technical school. , I will come to your grandfather's grave in the future, I will explain it to him clearly, it is my incompetence as a mother, it is I who let him down, it has nothing to do with you."
Mom was crying, and I was crying too.
After my mother calmed down a bit, she said, "I'll give you three days to think about it, and then give us the answer after you think about it."
I went back to my bedroom and lay down on the bed with "Eternal Dragon Slayer" in my arms, tears still flowing.
After thinking about it all night, my grandfather's voice and smile came into my mind.
In fact, I understand very well that my mother's approach is to retreat, and her last few words are completely irritating me, but that is my grandfather's wish, and this is the only way I can fulfill my filial piety.
The next morning, I walked into my parents' bedroom and said to them, "I've decided to go to high school."
Mom and Dad both let out a sigh of relief, Dad immediately went to the drawer and took a pen for me: "This pen is very expensive, it was specially reserved for you, I discussed it with your mother, no matter what you learn. It looks like, as long as you recognize yourself, we don't require you to be admitted to university."
There are two lines of gilded small characters on the pen: Shushan has road and diligence as a path, and learning is boundless and hard work.
I squeezed the pen in my hand: "Since I chose to go to high school, I will definitely go to college. I want to make a request."
"you say."
"I want to get through high school on my own terms, and I want you to trust me and give me freedom."
Dad looked at Mom, and Mom said, "No problem, we have always believed in you. Besides, your dad and I have never restrained you. Look at the neighbors in this building, who cares about girls like we do? It's your sister, I don't allow her to come home after ten o'clock, but if you play outside until eleven o'clock, we can at most warn you, your father has always raised you as a boy in his heart, and has always been unwilling to restrain you. temperament."
Dad said, "I started working and studying at the age of 13, and I finished middle school by unloading coal at the railway station for myself. I believe that my daughter has the ability to be responsible for herself."
I nodded, turned and walked out of their bedroom. Although the knot in my heart has been untied, the estrangement formed over the years still cannot be dissolved. Probably I will never be like my sister, holding my father's neck and lying in my mother's arms. Coquetry, but... that's enough.
The willows and poplars by the river are lush, the morning wind is cool and humid, and there is the fragrance of grass and trees.
I sat by the river, took off my shoes, and soaked my feet in the water.
Close your eyes, all the memories seem to be in front of you.
At the age of five, he left his grandfather and returned to his parents.
At the age of six, he went to school on loan at the army's children's school, and then dropped out of school.
At the age of seven, he returned to school and met Xiaofei.
At the age of eight, he moved to this city and met Zhang Jun.
At the age of nine, he contradicted Mr. Zhao, skipped class and went to the game room, where he met Xiaobo.
At the age of ten, he sat at the same table with Chen Jin and met Teacher Gao.
At the age of eleven, Guan He transferred to our class.
At the age of twelve, Xiaofei and I met again and met teacher Zeng Hong.
…
I used to think that the world gave me too little, but I really calmed down and thought, why did I get less
Xiaofei's father beats her mother all the time, and she is facing a violent family; Guan He's father died very early, and Guan He needs to rely on others to please his stepfather and older brothers and sisters; Xiaobo's father died early, and his mother became mentally ill. The economy has always been very embarrassing; Lin Lan has both parents, but she has to face her mother's embarrassing marriage change and bear rumors for her mother; Chen Songqing studied so hard, but because of his poor family, he had to shoulder the burden of the family early.
They're all strong, they're all smiling, but what about me
My parents have a harmonious relationship and are tolerant towards me. There is also a grandfather who loves me so much. Although I lacked the love from my parents in my childhood, I have precious memories with my grandfather. My sister will never know how much our grandfather was. Elegant and gentle elder, she has what I don't have, but I also have what she doesn't have.
When I was in elementary school, I had no classmates and was isolated by the whole class, but because of being isolated, I got to know Xiaobo and Squid. What Xiaobo gave me was not worth one ten thousandth of a thousand classmates.
Although I met the hateful teacher Zhao, I also met the caring teacher Gao; although I met the stingy cornucopia, I also met the outspoken Zeng Hong.
What reason do I have to be cynical? What's the point of giving up on oneself
I threw all the unfinished cigarettes together with the lighter into the river, and watched as they were carried away by the river, and everything from yesterday was cut off!
I stood up and made a fresh start, not only for myself, but also for my grandfather, parents, Xiaobo, Xiaofei, Teacher Gao, Zeng Hong... People live not only for themselves, but also for those who love themselves.