A Book Dedicated to Our Youth

Chapter 50: Looking back at the landscape of life (5)

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Disappointment flashed in his eyes, but he smiled and said, "Okay, I just happen to have something to do."

At a young age, I could not see the disappointment in his eyes, but only his smile, so I laughed too, waved to him, and trotted home.

The grayness and heaviness that came from studying suddenly dissipated, and youth seemed to show me the brightness and joy that should belong to it in an instant. Although this brightness and joy are too erratic and uncertain, but this moment It's real.

I set the alarm clock for 6:30. After I got up, I read English for an hour. After breakfast, I took a quick shower and started dressing up.

My mother was blowing my hair. Seeing me tinkering with my hair in front of the mirror, she took the hair dryer to help me straighten it, and used some hairspray to set it. I pinned the hair on one side with a clip.

My mother hurried to work, and my sister was still sleeping. I sneaked into my sister's house and rummaged through her closet, looking for a blue suspender skirt with a small white lapel shirt. When I went out, I thought about it left and right, and with a cruel heart, I also borrowed my sister's favorite white sandals.

When he arrived at the bridge, Zhang Jun had already arrived. He was wearing white slacks and a white and blue T-shirt, standing on the grass beside the poplar forest.

The trees are green and the grass is green. The early morning sun falls from the woods and shines on him. He is as clean and refreshing as the blue sky and white clouds, and the green trees are as vibrant as the sun. I was stunned for a while. Although everyone says that Zhang Jun is handsome, he has probably known him since he was a child, and he never really thought about his appearance. Only today did he really realize that he is really handsome.

He looked down at his watch and looked in the direction of my house, not impatient, but with a smile.

I walked towards him through the poplar forest, the girl's vanity inflated, the person waiting for such an outstanding young man turned out to be me.

He heard the sound, turned his head to see me, and his eyes lit up.

The two of us stood in the poplar forest, and we were both a little embarrassed. I said, "I'm sorry, I'm late." Actually, I hid and watched him for a while.

He smiled and said, "It's okay, let's go!"

I asked him, "What's your favorite color?"

"Blue, white, black, how about you?"

"green, blue, white, I like trees, grass, flowers, I feel that without them, there is nothing, they are like life; I like the blue sky, I think it is the broadest color; and white..."

"White is the simplest and the most complex; the most inclusive and the most discerning."

The two looked at each other and smiled, with a shared joy.

"But you rarely see you in white," he said.

"It's easy to get dirty, it's too troublesome, I'd rather not look good than troublesome."

He laughed dumbly: "This reason is really unusual for girls."

The two of them chatted and laughed at the entrance of No. 1 Middle School. There were already a bunch of parents around the school gate waiting for the announcement. He whistled softly in amazement. But I thought of Xiaobo, feeling a little uncomfortable, huddled in the crowd waiting for the college entrance examination results to be released. To us, it may be justifiably annoying, but it is his eternal regret.

Zhang Jun and I bought two bottles of drinks and sat on the flowerbed table by the sidewalk, talking and waiting.

I was a little strange about his reaction just now, so I asked, "Have you not seen it at the school gate before? When the results of the high school entrance examination came out last year, it was crowded with people."

"the first time."

I remembered that Guan He said he went to Shanghai last year, and asked, "Is Shanghai fun?"

"Not bad, not as fun as Beijing and Qingdao."

There was a smile in his eyes. I deliberately pretended not to understand. I drank a drink and looked around. I looked and looked at him, but I didn't look at him, but I couldn't hide the sweetness in my eyes.

"Zhang Jun, Luo Qiqi."

Guan He in a purple dress stood in front of us, probably because it was the first time I saw Zhang Jun chatting and laughing, and he was very surprised.

My smile froze, and Zhang Jun moved to my side, making room for Guan He to sit.

Guan He sat next to him and said, "I didn't know you were going to watch the list today, or else you would bring Lin Yilian's tape."

"It's okay, I don't listen. I still have a lot of her tapes. If you want to listen, go to my house to pick them up sometime."

"OK!"

Hearing their familiar conversation, the joy that seemed to fill his chest just now disappeared in an instant.

Guan He murmured, "Why are you releasing the list so late this year?"

Just as he was talking, he heard the sound of crackling firecrackers. During the sound of firecrackers, four or five teachers came out of the school and began to post the list. Guan He said in surprise: "No firecrackers were set off last year."

Zhang Jun said: "This year's champion and second place are from our school, and the total score is also ranked first in the province. Of course, we have to celebrate."

The school gate has already started to make noise: "Chen Jin is the champion! Chen Jin is the champion! Liu Tao is the second in the province..."

Parents and students began to squeeze forward, and the scene was very chaotic.

I asked Zhang Jun, "Why didn't you tell us if you knew it earlier?"

Zhang Jun said with a smile, "Isn't that boring?"

Guan He looked at the school gate, dazed, she must have thought of her grades. Since she went to high school, her best grade was only the ninth grade. There must be a psychological gap for those who have been used to being number one since childhood.

Zhen Gongzi and Jia Gongzi are here, a group of people chatting while watching the excitement, and the topics naturally all revolve around today's focus, Chen Jin. Zhen Gongzi is also well informed: "I heard that Chen Jin has already negotiated with Tsinghua and entered the Department of Architecture at Tsinghua; Liu Tao is also at Tsinghua and is in the Department of Computer Science."

There was a commotion in the crowd. It turned out that it was Liu Tao who came to watch the list. The parents all stared at him and made all kinds of envious sounds. Liu Tao's father laughed so hard that his mouth could not close, Guan He was very curious: "I don't know if Chen Jin will Will come to see the list."

I blurted out, "Definitely not."

Guan He gave me a surprised look: "Why? You know him?"

Zhang Jun explained: "We were in the same class as Chen Jin Primary School, and Qi Qi was still at the same table with him until he skipped a grade."

Guan He regretted: "It's a pity that I came late, and I missed the class with the champion."

There were people laughing and crying at the gate of the school, and a tragicomedy of life's gains and losses was staged, but after all, it had nothing to do with us. After a while, our freshness about the college entrance examination list was over.

Young Master Jia and the others clamored to go bowling and rollerblading. Zhang Jun said to Guan He and me, "Let's go together."

Guan He smiled and shook his head, and Zhang Jun said with a smile, "I'll treat you, give me some face!"

Zhen Gongzi immediately circled his hands into a horn and called at the surrounding classmates: "Zhang Jun treats you, who will go bowling and roller skating?"

A bunch of people raised their hands, Zhang Jun kicked Zhen Gongzi, smiled and said to Guan He, "Everyone, let's go and play together!"

Guan He still smiled and refused.

Bowling is a new thing, and it costs ten yuan to play a round. For students, it is a very luxurious consumption.

I saw that Guan He really wanted to go, but her pride was similar to mine, but I was willing to give up my pride for her, and I persuaded her with a smile: "Go, let's go play together, I have never played bowling, Just to meet you."

Zhen Gongzi kept bowing: "Guan Damei, give me some face."

Guan He finally nodded.

A dozen or so people stopped two vans and rushed to the bowling alley, with Zhang Jun leading me in front.

Because it is during the day on non-weekends, the price is preferential, 8 yuan per game. Everyone was divided into three groups and had three competitions. Zhang Jun, Zhen Gongzi and Jia Gongzi each lead a group.

Zhang Jun taught me how to play, he asked me to hold the ball, until I tried the lightest ball, I was barely able to play, he measured my wrist with his hand and said, "I can knock you down with one finger, you should strengthen physical exercise. Otherwise, the development of the big and small brains will be too uneven.”

I responded by glaring at him and he smiled and started teaching me how to play, but I was really stupid and I played a few times and still couldn't feel it.

Guan He's ball sense was very good. Not long after he got started, he played several Grand Slams in a row. Everyone applauded and cheered. Zhang Jun looked at her and smiled.

I have a very empty feeling in my heart. On the surface, I don’t seem to pay attention to anything, but in fact, I have been carefully observing.

After Guan He was assigned to Zhen Gongzi's group, Zhang Jun has been paying attention to Guan He. Zhen Gongzi just started playing with himself. Zhang Jun deliberately went over and whispered a few words to Zhen Gongzi, although no one heard them say What, can be judged according to Zhen Gongzi's attitude changes before and after, it must be related to Guan He.

My mood is getting lower and lower, the ball is getting worse and worse, but I am smiling more and more on the face. Zhang Jun teased me: "Your cerebellum doesn't seem to have developed at all. We have to make a plan to develop your cerebellum."

Zhen Gongzi also shook his head and laughed at me: "Guan He is also the first time to learn, and you are in the same world."

Zhang Jun said to Mrs. Zhen, "Come on, don't swear! How can you show your intelligence if you are not stupid? We have to give Luo Qiqi a big credit."

I laughed at my own clumsiness with them, but there was a little person in my heart who looked at me with sadness and pity, don't compare! You have always lost to Guan He! There is no winning or losing, and no sadness!

After that, I didn't want to fight anymore, because every time I fought, Zhen Gongzi would laugh at me, and I laughed at myself with him.

Under my serious hindrance, even though Zhang Jun played a Grand Slam in almost every game, our group still lost.

Both Zhen Gongzi and Jia Gongzi laughed: "Okay, okay, with Luo Qiqi, we will definitely be winners in the future."

Zhang Junxiao said to Guan He, "You played really well, it's not like the first time you played at all."

Guan He was tired and excited, her cheeks were flushed, her eyes were sparkling, and she was as beautiful as a lotus flower after the summer rain. I suddenly felt very tired and wanted to go home, but I had already promised to eat together and go roller skating.

During the meal, Guan He sat down first, and I deliberately sat opposite her, because Zhang Jun hadn't come in yet, and I wanted to know where he would sit. I don't know if all girls use some inexplicable details to verify their feelings. In fact, wishful thinking can't prove anything, because boys' thinking and girls' thinking are not on the same channel at all. The only certainty is that if she does this, it can only prove that she has no confidence in this relationship at all. Emotions harbor crises.

After Zhang Jun came in, he sat next to me while talking to Young Master Jia, very natural.

The unhappiness when I was playing bowling just now finally faded a little, but I didn't feel happy for a long time when I saw Zhang Jun handing the menu to Guan He first, asking her what she wanted to eat, and specifically instructing the waiter not to put coriander, because Guan He didn't eat it.

My words are less and less, but my smile is more and more bright.

Maybe we were sitting in the wrong place at all. Guan He should be sitting next to Zhang Jun, and I should be sitting opposite.

After dinner, they discussed where to go rollerblading. After hearing their talk, I knew that roller skating had become popular again last semester.

There are two popular types of roller skating today, one is indoor, with wooden floor; They are greedy for convenience and choose to go to the concrete floor next to the bowling alley.

After arriving, the boys go to buy tickets, pay the deposit, and get the shoes, while the girls wait.

When I saw the shoes they brought, I realized that times have changed. It is no longer the roller skates that can be worn with shoes when I was a child, but the delicate and beautiful leather shoes, like boots, which must be taken off before they can be worn.

Zhang Jun handed Guan He two small plastic bags and said, "Wrap it on your feet and put on your shoes to keep it clean." He handed me two small plastic bags.

I put on my shoes silently. Zhang Jun bent over to help me tie my shoelaces, but I shrank back: "No need, I can do it myself." Although this is the first time I wear this kind of shoes, I have eyes. I have been quietly observing and already know how to tie shoelaces.

Young Master Jia and Young Master Zhen are both self-centered people who ran away as soon as they put on their shoes.

Zhang Jun walked over to see Guan He, Guan He stretched out his foot, Zhang Jun crouched down to teach her to tie her shoelaces, and then watched her put on another shoe. One of them is a handsome man and the other is a beautiful woman, like the most harmonious couple, everyone who passes by will take a second look.

Guan He was roller skating for the first time, and he didn't even dare to stand. Zhang Jun stretched out his hand encouragingly, signaling her to believe him. Guan He put his hand on his palm and stood up tremblingly. Zhang Jun turned his head and said to me, "Wait for me here for a while, and I'll be back to pick you up in a while."

I watched him slide around with Guan He, but he didn't want to come back, so I stood up. Although the shoes have changed, the principle is still the same. Roller skating is like riding a bicycle. Once you learn it, you will never forget it.

I walked into the roller skating rink holding onto the railing and slipped out with a kick. Although I haven't skied for many years, I can slip very slippery after a while.

The music played on the roller skating rink was intense for a while and lyrical for a while. The owner of this house is very thoughtful. He decorated the lanterns commonly used in the dance hall at high places to change the color of the roller skating rink. There is also a super bright spotlight. Every few songs, he will pick a pair of skates that are particularly good. people, put the spotlight on them, so that everyone in the audience can see it, which satisfies the vanity of young people. If it is a father and daughter, the music will be particularly lyrical, and the skaters and those watching are full of emotion; if it is a young couple, the music will be very enthusiastic, allowing them to fully demonstrate their roller skating skills and details Catering to customers so much, it's no wonder this business is doing so well.

The roller skating rink was huge and there were a lot of people, and I deliberately didn't want to see Zhang Jun and Guan He skating hand in hand, so soon I didn't know where they were.

I slid hard and fast to the music alone, and a boy next to me invited me: "Can I skate with you?"

It turns out that roller skating is the same as dancing, and people can be invited. I didn’t refuse. He skated with me twice, trying to hold my hand, but I deftly avoided it by accelerating.

He knew how to advance and retreat very well. He never tried again. He started to introduce himself, asked my name, and praised me for being very temperamental.

I smile, doesn't he watch TV? When there is nothing to praise a girl who is not beautiful, praise her for her temperament.

I didn't answer any of his questions about private information, but he didn't give up, he still skated with me next to me, and stayed with me and chatted with me during breaks. I don't hate him, so I chatted with him without borders.

In the crowd, I saw Zhang Jun, who was still with Guan He. After they passed by, I started skating again, but the appearance of Zhang Jun and Guan He holding hands was lingering in front of my eyes. My speed was getting faster and faster, and the boy beside me kindly reminded me: "Be careful. ."

Suddenly, a huge beam of light hit us. I was dazed and almost fell. He hurriedly supported me and said happily, "I've come to play many times, and this is the first time I've been illuminated."

He wanted to drag me to skate, I pushed him away: "I'm sorry, I don't want to skate anymore, you can skate alone."

I slid to the side, but the light beam came after me. My technique is not outstanding at all, is there something wrong with the eyes of the person who lights it? I ducked to the side impatiently, and the person lighting the light probably finally understood my intention. Instead of slipping, I wanted to dodge and move the light away.

As soon as I sat down, the man chased after him: "Are you thirsty? Want a drink?"

Before I could answer, Zhang Jun stood in front of me, his face darkened and his eyes full of anger: "You had a good time?"

I looked at him, what right does he have to get mad at me

"Yes, very happy."

He stared at me for a moment, then turned and slid away. The boy next to him asked, "Do you want a drink?"

I turned my head to him and said, "Thank you for your kindness. If I'm thirsty, I'll buy a drink myself. Besides, I'm serious, your patience and sincerity can't impress me, so I might as well put the same energy into other things. on girls."

He smiled and said, "Understood, are you mad at your boyfriend?"

"No."

Intense and explosive music sounded, and bright beams shone on a man and a woman, Zhang Jun and a beautiful woman I didn't know. She was wearing a short skirt and had beautiful slender legs, and she skated very well.

"Is that your boyfriend?"

I keep silent. Is that Zhang Jun? I have no idea.

"It takes a lot of nerve to be with a boy like this," he said with a smile.

I got up and went roller skating, going faster and faster, just to get rid of all the unpleasantness. Suddenly, I lost my balance on my feet and fell down. I forgot to protect myself when I was sad, so I fell back straight and fell to the ground, hitting the back of my head heavily on the concrete floor. In an instant, my eyes were pitch black, and my consciousness was still awake, but my body couldn't move. , I heard the countless reels whizzing past my ears.

"Oops, be careful."

"Get up quickly, you will trip others."

"Hey, are you okay?"

I finally recovered, and a kind-hearted couple gave me a hand. I was about to stand up when I slid down again, and there was a golden light in front of me. It turned out that "the Venus in front of me" is not a decoration, but a real thing.

The girl said with concern: "Did you fall on your head? I saw that I fell hard enough, and it made a loud noise."

The two of them took me to the rest area and asked, "Do you have any friends here? Do you want us to help you find them?"

I held my head and said in a low voice, "I came alone, I'm fine, thank you."

They asked me several more times, and after making sure I was sane, slid away happily hand in hand.

The figure of them supporting each other makes my eyes sore. Where is the person who should comfort me when I am injured

In the roller skating rink, under the bright beam, Zhang Jun was still dancing gracefully, sometimes he held the girl's waist, and sometimes the girl held his hand. The light beam gradually dimmed. He had just separated from his girlfriend, and another girl asked him to skate, but he did not refuse. The two held each other's hands, Zhang Jun began to slip backwards, and the girl stepped to the rhythm of the music.

My head hurts, but my heart hurts even more! Under the unspeakable sadness and grievances, I just want to leave all this far away.

I took off my roller skates, got my shoes back, put them on, and walked out of the rink alone.

Looking at the money on my body, it was only three yuan. When I came out in the morning, I thought it was just to read the list. I didn’t think about bringing the money.

I bought myself one of the most expensive chocolate-filled three-layer ice cream as a treat for myself.

In this world, no one can love me, but I have to love myself, pity myself, and be good to myself. Xiaobo taught me this principle. When I think of Xiaobo, I suddenly want to cry, but I should smile.