Every time I play, I hide my thoughts at will, try my best to create one after another exciting, but not for my classmates, but for the one person hidden in the corner.
I put on a show to the audience, just to get him to look at me, just to make him remember me.
Can he understand my mind
I don't want him to understand, I just want him to remember how beautiful I am tonight, I know I am beautiful tonight because I used all my wisdom and all my love for him in beauty. I condensed all my youthful years into tonight to bloom for him.
Guan He came to register for the program, and I joked with her: "Beauty is going to return to the arena?" In the past three years, Guan He has really not participated in any activities related to literature and art. Her classmates hardly know that she is a good erhu player. Have a good voice.
She just smiled and nodded at me, calm and indifferent, like the most ordinary classmate. She told Shen Yuanzhe: "My show is "Every Day in My Life".
I deliberately left Guan He's program to announce to myself.
The little lanterns around me kept flickering, and the faces of my classmates were blurred. When I walked to the center of the stage, I suddenly remembered the cultural performance in the third year of junior high school. Guan He invited me to perform with her. We were still very close at that time. I don't know when we started to become strangers.
"In everyone's growth, there will be some important people who leave a rich and colorful chapter. There is also such a person in my life. Her appearance once made me feel that it was the biggest disaster in my life. I was jealous of her, I envy her, but in the envy of her, I kept chasing after her, hoping that I would become better and better. I used to suffer from this kind of chasing, and now I finally understand that today I can Standing here, I cannot do without her. Because of her appearance, I am what I am today, and I want to thank her. "Every Day in My Life", performer: Guan He."
Guan He came from the darkness to the center of the bright stage; I stepped off the stage and went to the darkness. At the junction of light and darkness, the two passed by. I looked at her, but she looked down at the stage with a smile.
I don't know if she understands what I said, but it doesn't matter, the important thing is that I finally let go of my heart. I stopped envy others, I started to like myself.
Guan He bowed to the audience, smiled and said, "For six years in the first high school, I have laughed and cried; I have been proud and humbled; I have made mistakes and corrected them. Maybe I don't have the expectations of my parents. It is excellent, but I have tried my best, and I have no regrets about myself. I send this song to all the teachers and students who have given me help and care, thank you, "Every Day in My Life"."
watch time fly by
i pray for tomorrow
Every little dream can slowly come true
I'm so ordinary and yet so lucky
i want to say thank you
every day of my life
watch time fly by
I look back
used to be a reckless boy
used to be like a year
I'm so ordinary and yet so lucky
i want to say thank you
every day of my life
As the party drew to a close, the atmosphere became more and more sad, and many girls burst into tears when they sang.
It's almost time to say goodbye.
Mr. Li whispered to me a few words, and let me announce the last program.
"The last program is the chorus, song name, "Farewell", performers, all teachers."
All the teachers walked to the center of the stage and stood in rows.
Teacher Li played Master Hongyi's "Farewell".
Outside the pavilion, beside the ancient road
Fragrant grass and green sky
The evening wind blows the willow flute
sunset mountain
The end of the sky, the corner of the earth
half-familiar
A goblet of turbid wine is enough
don't dream tonight
The amiable old principal, the gray-haired geography teacher, the white-faced scholar's politics teacher, the English teacher who once loved to blush, the sloppy math teacher, the confused physics teacher, the rigid and serious dean...
My eyes are wet, and I believe that at this moment, the eyes of all my classmates will be a little sore.
Three years, the most youthful and splendid three years! In the first year of high school, we had a carefree military training, and we sang military songs with sweat; in the second year of high school, we were anxious and painful when we were divided into liberal arts and sciences, and fast and slow classes;
We used to kick straight steps together, punished standing together, skipped classes together, scolded teachers together, joked together, and studied together...
Whether we love it or hate it, the three years of high school leave the most indelible mark on our lives.
The old principal said goodbye to everyone in the singing: "Graduation is an end point, but also a starting point. The hard-working senior year is over, but the hard-working life has just begun. On behalf of all the teachers, I would like to give a farewell speech to all the students, 'Heaven' Xingjian, the gentleman is self-improvement; the terrain is Kun, the gentleman is worthy of virtue!"
The teachers left one after another. I followed Teacher Li's instructions and told everyone: "The following is the dance time reserved for everyone by the school. The old principal said that as long as there is one student who is willing to dance, the music will be played for him."
At the beginning, my classmates told you to look at me, I looked at you, and I was embarrassed to play, but soon there were bold boys who brought their girlfriends in, and a lot of underground affairs were exposed, causing many boys to roar.
Many students can't dance, and those who can dance can't be taught to dance. There are graceful or clumsy figures everywhere on the open-air dance floor with flickering lights.
Yang Jun jumped and sat on the table next to me, staring at Tong Yunzhu who was dancing in a daze.
I said, "If you want, go and ask her to do a dance."
Yang Jun looked sad: "I can't dance."
I walked over and patted Tong Yunzhu on the shoulder: "Go and invite Yang Jun to dance!"
Tong Yunzhu was stunned for a while, and immediately said, "Okay."
She came over to invite Yang Jun, and Yang Jun said awkwardly, "I can't jump."
Tong Yunzhu smiled generously and said, "That's why you need a dance partner for your first dance." She stretched out her hand to him, I shoved Yang Jun, Yang Jun blushed and held Tong Yunzhu's hand.
In the sound of dance music, the students began to leave in twos and threes.
I hid in the dark and searched for Zhang Jun's figure everywhere, but I couldn't see him. Is this the way he chose to say goodbye
On the stage, fire trees and silver flowers and stars gather, but they are bright for parting.
In the soft and sad music, I walked to the school gate.
Goodbye, No.1 Middle School!
Goodbye, my youth!
2
When the title of the gold list
At this crossroads, young you and I wave goodbye.
We think that saying goodbye is just a love, but we don't know that saying goodbye is our youth;
What we thought was forgotten was just a piece of laughter and sorrow,
What we don't know is our dreams and passions that are forgotten.
The days after the exams are lonely with nothing to do.
When I habitually made tea and wanted to recite English, I realized that it was no longer necessary. A habit that I have been doing for almost three years, but when I suddenly don't have to do it, I am not relieved, but a little disappointed.
I went to sign up for a summer painting class, and this time, I did it for myself. The world is beautiful because of color, and I wish I had a pair of eyes that were better at capturing color.
A few days before the results of the college entrance examination, I received a call from the teacher in charge of admissions at Peking University, congratulations on my good grades, and invited me to fill out the application form for Peking University. I finished chatting with him in a dizzy way, and when I hung up the phone, I realized that I forgot to ask him how I did in the test.
My parents started to get excited. After all, the admissions teacher from Peking University made a phone call and proved my grades.
I called the head teacher, and the head teacher said half happy and half regretful: "You are No. 1 in No. 1 High School and No. 5 in the province, which is less than ten points away from the provincial champion."
While my parents were excited, they also emphasized to the other party to be low-key and not to shout out before the official announcement.
The next day, the admissions teacher from Tsinghua also called and invited me to Tsinghua. When he heard that the teacher from Peking University had contacted me, he immediately introduced Tsinghua’s policy of guaranteeing research to me very enthusiastically, emphasizing that Peking University does not have these advantages.
Not long after the call from Tsinghua University here, the call from Peking University over there came again.
My parents were so excited that they really took whether to go to Tsinghua or Peking University as a proposition. They thought about it very seriously, and made a long-distance call to my second uncle, who is the vice president of a key university, to study whether I should go to Tsinghua or Peking University.
I think their mentality is a bit like marrying a daughter. The two golden tortoise-in-laws of Tsinghua University and Peking University put them in a dilemma, but their dilemma is because of hypocrisy and happiness.
On the day of the college entrance examination results, Guan He's mother called and asked my mother to watch the rankings. My mother knew that I had to go, and I didn't want to stop it, because this was the moment they had brought up to me for so many years and should have enjoyed it, but Tell them to be cautious when meeting Guan He's mother.
Since our mother was already a close friend of the boudoir, Guan He and I went to see the list together.
When we arrived, the school gate was already full of people. My mother dragged Guan He's mother and happily squeezed into the crowd.
Guan He and I were sitting on the flowerbed platform next to us, staring at the crowd at the school gate in a daze, and only occasionally had a chat or two.
The list has not yet come out, the news that I am the fifth in the province has spread, and many students have come to me to verify the news, congratulations to me.
Guan He has been smiling and talking to everyone, but I know her nerves have been stretched to the extreme.
I sigh, the most fearful time is the wait before the results are revealed.
Finally, the door of the school opened, and the teacher came out to post the list.
There was chaos in front of the school gate, and all the parents crowded forward. Instead, we candidates stood outside with mixed feelings, both wanting to know the grades and fearing to know the grades. However, whether they wanted to or not, all the students knew their grades one after another.
Some classmates cried bitterly, and their parents cried together, while some classmates couldn't help laughing from ear to ear.
I sat deep in the flower bed, both outside and empathizing. The three years of high school are not only the hardships of the student, but also the countless efforts of the parents.
Guan He suddenly rushed out of the crowd, smiling like a flower, I was relieved, her grades must be good.
"How many?"
Guan He said happily: "The eleventh grade."
As soon as I let go of my heart, I saw Lin still squeezed out of the crowd with his mother with a gloomy face, and my heart sank again. I walked over and wanted to ask but didn't dare.
"One hundred and thirty-sixth grade." Lin still had tears in his eyes, but he still tried his best to smile.
Since the beginning of the first year of high school, no matter the big or small test, Lin still never misses. I have worried about Yang Jun before, and I have also worried about Guan He, but I have never worried about her.
I don't know how to comfort her. This smart girl, who has never made the top ten in her second year of high school and has not ranked in the top five in her third year of high school, has only taken more than 130 exams. Over the past three years, over a thousand days, I have been sitting behind her, witnessing her hard work. Three years of hard work have vanished in an instant.
China's college entrance examination is cruel, not only because of its fierce competition, but because it only depends on the final result. Unlike foreign countries, you need to look at your overall performance when applying for a university. In China, no matter how brilliant your previous results are, at this moment Without success, everything is denied.
I was sad, but Lin still comforted me in return: "It doesn't matter, I'm still above the key undergraduate level, and I can still apply to a key university."
Lin still's mother was very uncomfortable and didn't want to say a word. Lin still said a few words to me in a hurry, and left with my mother.
I sat in the corner of the flower bed, staring at the blue sky in the distance.
There are always many things in this world that cannot be explained by logic, and there is no fairness at all.
Yang Jun was elated, jumping around in the crowd, asking loudly, "Have you seen Luo Qiqi? Where is Luo Qiqi? Has anyone seen Luo Qiqi?"
Guan He stopped him, and after a few words with him, his face darkened, he found me, and said depressedly: "How could Lin still fail the exam? Her psychological quality is better than you and me, and her concentration is also strong. , We are so noisy, she can turn a deaf ear."
No one can know the answer, so the college entrance examination is a cruel game.
"How are you? Have you decided which school to apply for?"
"Seventh grade, I have decided to go to Fudan University, what about you? Have you decided? Tsinghua University or Peking University?"
"Tsinghua University."
"Then I will go to Beijing to play in the future, and I will join you."
I laughed: "Don't come to harass me, find someone else."
Yang Jun rolled his eyes: "You!" He sat silently for a while, then suddenly sighed, "I hope Tong Yunzhu can apply to the university in Shanghai."
"How did Tong Yunzhu do in the test?"
"Exceeds the level of performance, and even got into the key undergraduate course. Zhang Jun did well in the exam. It seems that he is in his twenties or thirties. It's too crowded. I didn't have time to look carefully. Don't worry, there are young talents in Tsinghua University, forget the past and move forward bravely!"
He will only talk about me, and he is completely wrong to himself. I asked, "Where's Shen Yuanzhe?"
"Isn't that him? Do you want me to ask you for help?"
"Um."
Like a monkey, Yang Jun disappeared in an instant, and after a while, he brought Shen Yuanzhe and his sister over with him.
Shen Yuansi greeted me: "Why are you hiding here? Many parents outside are talking about you and want to see what you look like."
I stuck out my tongue: "It's better to imagine seeing each other."
The expressions of the brother and sister are normal, Shen Yuanzhe's performance should be normal, and Yang Jun quickly confirmed my guess.
Shen Yuansi has graduated and is assigned to work in a design institute in this city, which is a very good unit. Before I asked, she took the initiative to tell me that Lin Lan went to the TV station and the benefits were good.
After chatting together for a while, Shen Yuanzhe and his sister left, and Yang Jun also jumped away. They still have a lot of things to do, determine the school, determine the major, and fill in the volunteers. Unlike me, there is nothing left.
After noon, the number of people at the school gate gradually decreased, and my mother and Guan He's mother were also gone. It is estimated that they all went home satisfied.
I was sitting alone in the depths of the flower bed, holding my knees in a daze.
Guan He wandered around without knowing where to go, but when it was more than 6 o'clock in the afternoon, he ran back and sat next to me with a smile.
"Why are you still hiding here? It's not because you regret not winning the provincial champion, right?"
I smiled wryly, "I'm recalling something from the past, waiting for a friend."
"Zhang Jun?"
I didn't say a word, Guan He immediately shut up.
It's getting dark, and the school entrance has become deserted, only one after another to take a look at the lively people.
Guan He asked me, "Aren't you hungry? Do you want to go home?"
"You go back first, I want to sit here for a while."
Guan He shook his head: "I'm still excited, and I can't wait to go home, so let's accompany you."
I didn't say anything, just stared at the school gate.
The afterglow of the setting sun reflects the solemn and beautiful school gate. The trees on both sides are glowing with gold and red. People stand in twos and threes at the school gate to read the list. People keep coming and going, but there is no one I'm waiting for. .
I sat here all day without even having lunch, but Xiaobo never showed up.
When I was a freshman in high school, I had countless fantasies about this moment, imagining that I did very well in the college entrance examination, and Xiaobo was shaken violently. I wanted to see his surprised expression, and I wanted to walk up to him triumphantly. I think that the two of them can laugh and be able to accompany each other day and night again. This was the driving force behind countless times of frustration and disappointment.
At that time, I thought that if I study hard, everyone will be together forever, but now I understand that when I choose to study hard, I have already embarked on a road that will never intersect with him, and he knew it three years ago. .
Three years ago, I was looking forward to seeing his college entrance examination results. After three years, wouldn't he want to see my results
I have always believed with certainty that he will come, and he will definitely come to see my results. This is our success!
But one day of waiting made me unsure. In three years, I have changed, and so has he. He has his own splendor, and I am just a memory of the past.
The afterglow of the setting sun gradually gathered, the sky was slowly darkening, the lights at the school gate were on, and there was no one at the school gate.
Guan He asked in a low voice, "Are you going home? It's already dark. He must have known the results long ago, and probably won't watch the list."
I smiled and said, "In a little while."
I walked to the red list and looked up.
The big red list, densely packed with names. On the top, written in shiny gold powder: Luo Qiqi.
I smiled with satisfaction, very good, very dazzling, you can see it at a glance, this is what I have worked hard for three years, this is what I want Xiaobo to see, he is the only person I want to share this glory with, but , where did he go? Where did the person who should most see this glory go
I stared at my name silently, and after a few minutes, my eyes slid down to another name.
Zhang Jun.
I stood in front of the red list for a long time, until it was dark, I said to Guan He: "Let's go."
The two of them were walking and talking, talking about the grades of this classmate and that classmate. I was talking as usual, but I kept going back and forth in my mind: Xiaobo didn't watch the list, he forgot, he forgot all about it!
Before I knew it myself, the tears were rolling down, because Guan He was by my side, I wanted to control it, but I couldn't control it at all, I was crying so hard, and Guan He thought it was because of Zhang Jun, very embarrassed, pretended Tsukuru didn't notice, didn't even look at me.
I wiped it hard, but the tears flowed even more violently. I simply stopped holding back and let the tears flow wildly.
Three years ago, when I lost him, although I was sad, there was still good hope. In the labyrinth of years, we are only temporarily separated, it doesn't matter, I will wait for you at the exit of the labyrinth of years, and I also firmly believe that he will be there, he is my Xiaobo! How could he not wait for me
Three years later, I finally walked hard to the exit of the maze, only to find that our exits were not the same, and looking back, we could not find the way back.
Actually, I know that we have already embarked on different paths. The further we go, the distance will only get farther and farther. No matter whether he reads the list or not, he cannot change this fact. However, I am not reconciled, how can he forget? I'm just not reconciled! I just selfishly don't want him to forget me!