From childhood to adulthood, Xu Xiaobo and Luo Qiqi were the same family playing cards; when everyone went out to play, Qiqi was only willing to ride Xiaobo's broken bicycle; when they went to a restaurant, Qiqi would always occupy Xiaobo's side, no matter who came; People huddled together on the sofa to watch the video, Xiaobo took Qiqi to watch Jet Li's "Swordsman", Qiqi took Xiaobo to watch Audrey? Hepburn's "Roman Holiday"; both of them like to read books, often one lying on the sofa, the other sitting in front of the lamp, looking at each other, ignoring each other, occasionally looking up at each other, sometimes the other doesn't notice, Sometimes the eyes collide, smile at each other, and continue to read each book...
Xu Xiaobo knew that he was a little different from all his friends, and Qi Qi was also a little different from them. That little difference made him and Qi Qi always have a tacit understanding and made him think they were one family.
until that day.
He came back from out of town and went to pick up Qiqi at the school gate. He saw Qiqi and a group of classmates scoffing out of the school gate.
The art performance has just ended, and the school gate is full of people. Qiqi and a beautiful girl held hands and walked very intimately, surrounded by a group of classmates in the middle. They were talking and laughing, and they were not honest when they walked. You pushed me, I shoved you, shouted and shouted, and didn't know what to say, and a group of people laughed.
The lights at the school gate are very bright, illuminating their vigor and flying brightly.
In fact, this is not special, it is a picture that happens every day on campus.
But that is everything that he has been chasing very hard, but has never been able to get.
Those who are energetic and glamorous do not belong to him. For the first time, he realized that maybe - Qi Qi and he are not a family.
He had been waiting for Qi Qi for half the night, but at this time, he hesitated. He didn't want to drag her out of that group of energetic classmates. There was no such natural vitality and beauty in his world.
Qi Qi is high-spirited, talking and laughing. He is the kind of naughty person who can be seen by teachers, parents, and classmates. There is no trace of darkness or bitterness.
Behind Qiqi is the gate of the school. The lights are dignified and solemn. He is like a David. It gathers the strength of parents, teachers and the whole society to protect Qiqi and their beauty.
He stared at the gate of the school with a deep bitterness in his heart. This gate is easy for others to enter, but it is difficult for him.
Qi Qi suddenly turned her head and glanced over. Before he could avoid her, her face suddenly lit up, and she rushed across the road in surprise.
At that moment, he had unspeakable joy, and the bitterness in his heart was swept away, as if flying over the road, a little hope.
He controlled his joy, for fear that it would be too obvious, and if God saw it, he would take it back. Growing up, he always knew that he was a child who was not favored by God.
Qi Qi asked him, "How long have you been waiting here? Why didn't you call me?"
He smiled and said, "I just came here, just saw you coming out."
Qi Qi's classmates followed, and a group of people looked at him with strange eyes, as if they could tell at a glance that he was not of the same kind as them.
"Qiqi, hurry up, let's eat Mala Tang together." The classmates called Qiqi.
With him on one side and classmates on the other, Qiqi stood in the middle of them, hesitating, not knowing whether to go with classmates or with him.
Xiaobo looked at the group of bright-eyed teenagers and made a decision for Qiqi, "Qiqi, go play with your classmates." He smiled and turned away.
Under the dimly lit street lights, Xiaobo walks alone and alone.
He knew that Qi Qi was walking in the opposite direction to him, but that end was bright and flying, the joy that was blessed by everyone.
That's great!
Footsteps suddenly sounded behind him, his heart skipped a beat, and before he could turn his head, Qi Qi jumped to his side and hooked his arm, smiling like a flower.
At that moment, he was deeply moved and joyful.
He asked, "Aren't you going to eat Mala Tang?"
"I like to eat mutton skewers." Qi Qi showed his importance in her heart without hesitation, and told him her choice firmly.
In the joy, he did not think deeply about Qiqi's choice, or, at that time, he still had the illusion that he could still realize his dream, he and Qiqi were still a family.
However, the Final Fantasy also shattered.
He must take on the responsibilities he should take, and he can't pass all the responsibilities to others for his own dreams. People can't live only for themselves, so he decided to smash his dreams.
He knew very well that he would gradually become exactly the same as the people around him, and he would gradually forget what kind of dream he had.
For countless nights, he smoked a cigarette, and in the lingering smoke, he recalled the bits and pieces of the acquaintance. In the past six years, he almost watched her grow up little by little. There were too many happy memories between them. He also believed that Qi Qi was very happy. But every time, he would always think of the scene he saw at the school gate that night, when Qi Qi was in high spirits, bright and happy.
For so many years, he always felt that he was taking care of and accompany this little girl, but now he suddenly found out that it was actually the little girl who was taking care of and accompany him.
Brother Li joked that he was guarding Qi Qi carefully like a miser, not allowing anyone to contaminate Qi Qi. He always thought he was protecting Qi Qi like a big brother, but now he suddenly realized that he was not only protecting Qi Qi , or himself, the deepest hidden light in his heart.
No matter when you look up, you can see her around you, so no matter what you see when you look down, you will firmly believe that tomorrow will be better.
He always thought that Qi Qi needed his protection, but in fact it was just the little light in his heart that was struggling all the time, and it would go out at any time if he was not careful. It was that little light that needed protection.
Qiqi doesn't need his protection. When he is away, Qiqi soon has new friends, a new life, and lives happily.
For so many years, maybe it was just a little selfishness in his heart, dragging her to be a family with him in their world, consciously or unintentionally cutting off the chance for her to make friends with classmates.
Now, will he continue to drag her to be a family with him
He knows Qi Qi's character very well. As long as he is here, Qi Qi will never turn his back on him, but he is also very aware of her intelligence. As long as her intelligence is used in the right way, she will definitely become a pearl.
Qi Qi still doesn't know what she wants. Even if she stays in their world, she will never understand what she missed, and she will never regret what she missed.
However, he knows!
He chose to break up with Qi Qi!
He knew that Qi Qi was sad, and he was sadder than her, because he not only bore his own sadness, but also her sadness.
He knows that under the scorching sun, Qiqi sits by the river all day and smokes a pack, but he also knows that Qiqi will never take decadence and depravity as an attitude to life, don't ask him how he knows, he Just know, just like he knows that he will never compromise with God, no matter how God makes things difficult for him, he will definitely win.
Qi Qi entered high school, and restrained all her rebellious willfulness and began to be a good student.
During that time, he was very tired.
Brother Li was too impatient and too eager for success before, which resulted in an unstable foundation. When there was no accident, flowers were covered with brocade and oil was cooked with fire. It was not obvious that there was a problem. Fall like dominoes. All other businesses were given to others, and in the end, only the K karaoke hall and dance hall were kept.
But in order to help the squid and him, Brother Li mortgaged the water side to loan sharks, borrowed cash to fight lawsuits to clear the relationship, compensate those who were maimed by him, and give money and gifts to the bosses in prison, please take care of them. Squid, don't bully squid.
Although the karaoke hall is operating normally, due to the impact of the case, the competition is now far more fierce than before, and the business has not been as good as before. What's even more terrifying is that not to mention the enemy, that is, all the "good friends" are standing by and waiting for an opportunity. It seems that just waiting for them to turn around will bite their weakness and divide them into pieces.
Sometimes, he would be very afraid, afraid that they would not be able to survive, and Brother Li would be chased and killed to collect debts; afraid that if he lost his care, even if the squid was not physically injured in prison, he would suffer from psychological problems; he was afraid that they would be gone. tomorrow.
However, he can't let anyone know that he is afraid, otherwise those people will jump up immediately, and he can't let Brother Li know that he is afraid. Brother Li just believes in him, so he can face everything with a smile, but he himself knows that he is very afraid , I can't sleep well every night, and I often wake up from nightmares.
The next morning, smiling and confidently facing everyone, masking nervousness and fear with nonchalant indulgence.
Sometimes, when he couldn't hold it any longer, he would go to the green forest by the river, sit deep in the small flower bed, smoke and rest. Only at this time will he let the waist that has been standing all day loosen up and let the smile that has been hanging on for a day disappear.
After ten o'clock, Qi Qi will carry her schoolbag and stride through the path outside the green forest. Sometimes she is thinking deeply, sometimes reciting English with words, she is working hard for tomorrow.
When he saw her, he would temporarily forget those fears and tensions, and just enjoy that moment of tranquility.
One night, when he went to rest by the green forest, he saw Zhang Jun.
He didn't know what was going on, he only saw Zhang Jun following Qi Qi secretly. At first, he thought that Qi Qi had offended Zhang Jun. For a few days, he went to the green forest to wait for Qi Qi in advance, but later found out that he was not. Zhang Jun is escorting Qi Qi home.
He and Zhang Jun were very careful, but Qiqi didn't know what was going on, but she noticed something was different, and pretended to be calm and shouted: "Xiaobo, come out, I have seen you."
He couldn't help laughing, but after laughing, he felt a little sad. Qi Qi still didn't understand that she and he were no longer a family, and—never would be!
At that moment, three people were sad.
Qi Qi's face was full of sadness. As she walked, she looked around unwillingly, "Xiaobo, Xiaobo, come out!"
Finally, she gave up, as if she had suddenly lost all energy, slumped her back, buried her head, and walked slowly.
Zhang Jun hid in the green forest, with his back against the big tree, his hands in his trouser pockets, and stared up at the treetops, motionless.
Until Qi Qi disappeared at the intersection, Zhang Jun still maintained the same posture. Even Xiaobo could feel the loneliness and sadness in his heart. In surprise, Xiaobo began to understand his thoughts. Good for Qiqi.
Xiaobo stared at Zhang Jun with slight envy.
In this circle, it is easy to fall, but it is difficult to be reborn, and how lucky this boy is to have a chance to start over again, now he and Qiqi are walking on the same path.
Zhang Jun lowered his head and walked out of the woods slowly.
Xiaobo still sat there, lit a cigarette, exhaled a smoke ring, and watched the smoke disappear, just like watching all the dreams slowly pass away.
When Qiqi's first mid-term exam results came out, Brother Li was taken aback and said that he didn't expect Qiqi to be so powerful.
There are more than 20 grades in No. 1 Middle School. This is a good result that many people yearn for, but Xiaobo knows that this is just Qiqi's take-off, and she is still groping for the direction.
He stopped worrying about her and began to really integrate into his new identity, his new life.
Before he knew it, the number of times he went to the green forest gradually decreased.
However, whenever the stress was high, or when the squid came to mind, he would go there again, sitting quietly in the dark, smoking a cigarette slowly.
Qi Qi has a new friend, a boy who looks very sunny.
She also seemed to have truly integrated into her new life, and she talked to the boys about the art show, one after another, and the names of her classmates popped out of her mouth, and she was properly assigned by her. And the boy beside her looked at her with admiration.
Qi Qi is more and more like an ordinary good student. She studies hard, cares about the group, actively participates in group activities, gets along well with her classmates, has a group of good friends, maybe she still has a crush on a certain boy, maybe a few more. The boy has a crush on her.
He was very happy, very happy.
Seeing her actively working hard, he suddenly felt a little ashamed. He was also working hard, but not actively.
There is no way to choose in life, but the attitude towards life is always chosen by himself, doesn't he even have this courage
He thought for a while, then put out the cigarette that he had not finished smoking.
The more difficult it is, the more you have to cherish yourself. This is what he taught Qi Qi, but he even forgot.
Since the squid accident, Xiaobo smoked cigarettes fiercely, drank alcohol fiercely, and often ran out in the middle of the night to gamble and race with people. Brother Li didn't persuade him, pretending to know nothing. He has been a brother for so many years, and he understands. Xiaobo is not the kind of indulgence.
Xiaobo is only 19 years old, and people of his age are still enjoying life under the protection of his parents, but he has to work tirelessly and servilely to seek a living. If there is no way to release him, he may be overwhelmed by heavy pressure.
But I don't know since when, Xiaobo returned to normal, no longer drinking, and no longer going out for racing.
Song Peng asked in confusion, "Xiaobo, what's exciting to you? Why did you suddenly stop drinking and smoking? Did you get a housekeeper girlfriend?"
Xiaobo said with a smile: "I just want to be nice to myself because I don't have a girlfriend's love."
Everyone burst into laughter, no one took Xiaobo's words seriously, Brother Li looked at Xiaobo and laughed, this is Xiaobo! Everything will be better!
I don't know how Xiaobo begged Song Jie, Song Jie vouched for him, Xiaobo borrowed money and opened a roller skating rink, no one could figure out when the savvy Song Jie started doing unprofitable things thing. Brother Li is not surprised. Song Jie is not an ordinary person. He is very good at looking at people. He knows that helping Xu Xiaobo at this time, in return, Xiaobo is grateful to him for a lifetime. The object of his investment is not business, but Xu Xiaobo. Brother Li himself is a past person, so he understands Song Jie's approach very well.
Xiaobo cherished the opportunity that Song Jie gave him very much, and worked very hard. In order to save money for decoration, he hired migrant workers. Migrant workers in China are the most simple people, but they are also the most treacherous people. Their simple dialectical psychology is that you people in the city are very cunning. Under the money you give me, if I work as little as possible, I will earn it. No matter if you are cursing or being polite, they all stick to their beliefs under the seemingly honest and honest.
After watching the construction site for a few days, Xiaobo understood everything. He moved the bedding into the construction site, lived with the migrant workers, ate together, got up earlier than them every day, and worked until the latest. , When he was backing the glass, his hands were slashed with blood. He didn't say a word. The next day, he was digging the drain with a shovel, blood blisters after blood blisters. Apart from giving orders, he didn’t say a word of nonsense. He just buried his head and worked hard and worked hard. The simple side of the migrant workers was stimulated, and they really started to work hard. Instead, he persuaded Xiaobo to rest and rest. . Xiaobo said something in a neither high nor low voice, and they all executed it immediately.