A Book Dedicated to Our Youth

Chapter 7: ignorant feelings (2)

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I couldn't hear the next words at all, I just felt the sky above my head spinning and my head rumbling. Since the day I went to school, no one has ever said that I am smart, I am synonymous with dullness and stupidity. I must have heard it wrong, for sure! When I was slightly awake and eager to listen to it again, I heard Teacher Gao sending Teacher Zhao out. So I walked back to the classroom like a drunken man in the voice of "I must have heard it wrong" over and over again.

My sanity secretly said to myself, maybe I heard it right, it's true, I'm not a fool. But the soul that has been inferior for too long completely refused to accept it, and still said to myself over and over again, I heard it wrong, I must have heard it wrong.

However, whether I heard it wrong or not, I decided to keep the sunshine in Teacher Gao's eyes. I was too afraid of disappointing her, afraid that she would turn her eyes away when she was disappointed, so I stopped reading novels in class and started listening carefully. I will also write on the side how I think, how to think, I want her to feel my efforts, and let her give me some time.

My math grades rose at a rapid rate. By the end of the fifth grade, my math grades had risen from a failing grade to 80 or 90. Zhang Jun's situation was similar to mine, but both of us were too poor in Chinese, and the overall grades were still ranked. not good.

Even with such a result, my parents were very happy. After my father held the parent-teacher meeting, he happily said to me: "After the parent-teacher meeting, Mr. Gao deliberately left me and said to me, 'Your daughter Luo Qiqi is very smart'. , By the way, Teacher Gao also wants to choose you to participate in the elementary school math competition in the city, and you will also go to school this summer vacation."

At that moment, I could be sure that I heard correctly.

Zhang Jun was also with me to accept Teacher Gao's guidance in the mathematics competition.

That summer vacation was the happiest day in my childhood. When I open my eyes every day, I feel that my heart is full of sunshine.

Every morning I go to school and listen to Mr. Gao’s lecture with Zhang Jun. Although we don’t talk, we sit so close that we can see his smile with a sideways glance.

Teacher Gao didn't stand on the podium either, she sat in front of us casually, writing and speaking on the scratch paper. When we were tired, the three of us would chat, Teacher Gao would tell some stories about her studying in Beijing, and Jun Zhang and I listened quietly. Sometimes, Zhang Jun will tell about his travel experiences all over the country. He recounted that he ate a whole fish feast in Wuhan, and said that Teacher Gao and I both swallowed. He recounted that he ate raw seafood in Yantai. When he threw the live shrimp soaked in wine into his mouth, the shrimp were still jumping up and down in his mouth. The taste is so wonderful that Teacher Gao and I grinned and shook our heads.

Zhang Jun never had the self-consciousness of being a student in front of the teacher. When he was happy, he would jump and sit on the table, drawing and painting with high spirits, while Teacher Gao and I sat on the stool and looked up at him. listen to him speak.

The bright summer sun shines on him from the window, and his whole person shines brightly. My heart is also bright. For the first time, I know that happiness and happiness can be very simple, just sit there and stare quietly. he.

I was silent most of the time except answering questions, but there was joy in my silence, and I loved listening to them.

After making up the class, Zhang Jun and I went home together.

We live on both sides of a river. It is said to be a river, but it is not a real river. It is an artificial irrigation channel that is said to have existed in the Qing Dynasty, but we are used to calling it a river.

In order to be able to walk with him for a longer period of time, I said that I like to watch the water, and I often walked with him along the river bank to the bridge, and the two broke up by the bridge.

I worked hard to create opportunities to be with him, but when I was really with him, I couldn't say a word, I just kept silent. Often Zhang Jun spoke alone, I listened intently, he had a lot of fun things, Always makes me laugh.

Sometimes, he doesn't speak, and we can only be silent. I'm very afraid that he will find me boring, and that he won't want to go with me after school in the future, so once he is silent, I will try my best to think about the topic again, but why? I don't know what to say, so I can only ask him: "Do you think there is a better way to solve the problem this morning?" Or, "I found another way to do the problem yesterday." Therefore, we two poor students who are quite famous in school, like good students who love learning the most, discuss math problems tirelessly. And it took me many years to react and ask myself, is it more boring to be silent, or is it more boring to discuss how a boring math problem can be solved by one more solution

However, there are exceptions. When the water in the river is relatively shallow, we will go down to the river to play, and the two of us will bend over and toss in the water, looking for beautiful little rocks.

When they were tired, the two of them sat side by side on the big rock, soaked their feet in the river water, and rested while kicking the water to play. The water of the river is relaxing, even if it is silent, I no longer deliberately seek words. We often do not say a word, just bask in the sun and enjoy the breeze.

The time we spent together always passed by so fast, I would always grab his hand and look at the watch. I found that it was already lunch time, and hurriedly jumped up and put on my shoes: "I'm going home, bye."

He stood up lazily, slipping on his shoes and saying, "See you tomorrow."

Thinking that we can see each other tomorrow, that we can walk together and play in the water together, I feel infinite happiness, and walking is like flying.

Every morning, I can't wait to rush to school, can't wait to see him, study with him, play with him.

Once, he fell asleep while lying on a rock. I sat beside him and played with water. I peeked at his watch and found that it was past lunch time, but he never woke up. I hesitated and didn't call. After waking him up, he held his cool hat to block the sunlight for him and let him sleep.

I held up my cool hat, sat beside him, stared at him sleeping, and when I got tired of raising one hand, I switched to the other. I feel that my heart is as bright as the summer sun and as gentle as the river in front of me. As long as he is here, I am willing to guard him all the time.

He woke up after a long sleep, sat up half-backed, I immediately put the cool hat back on my head and looked into the distance.

He looked at me, smiled and said, "You missed your meal time."

I bowed my head and put on my sandals and said, "It's okay." It seemed that I was in a hurry to go home, but in fact, I didn't dare to look at him.

I was in a hurry to leave, and he asked me, "You're going home late, will your parents scold you?"

I answered honestly: "Probably say something to me, but I don't care. Sometimes they are a little afraid of me and dare not say heavy words."

My words were a bit bizarre, but he seemed to understand, there was no surprised expression, just a smile.

I was gone, and it occurred to me that he never seemed to be in a hurry to go home. I turned around and found that he was still sitting on the stone. I couldn't help but ran back, stood on the bridge and asked, "Aren't you going home?"

He raised his head: "There is no one in our family, it doesn't matter if I go home or not."

I was stunned, didn't he say that he has four sisters, he is the son his parents finally got, so the whole family is a baby

"Don't you have four sisters? Where are your parents?"

He explained with a smile: "My father does engineering, where the engineering is, the people are there; my mother lives in Chengdu all year round and helps my eldest sister take care of the children; the second sister works in Shenzhen; the third sister lives in the TV station's unit dormitory, I'm busy dating; my fourth sister just got into college and went to study in Shanghai, and now I'm the only one at home."

"Then who cooks for you?"

"There is an aunt from my hometown who takes care of me, but she never cares about me."

I stand on the bridge, standing silently.

He looked up at me for a while, and said gently, "Go home, your parents should be in a hurry." After that, he stood up and prepared to leave.

I asked, "Where are you going?"

He climbed on the railing and climbed onto the bridge: "Go and play with friends."

I was very reluctant to let him go, and wanted to say, let's go play together, but I couldn't say it, so I could only walk home step by step.

When I don't make up lessons during the summer vacation, I will go to Brother Li's game room to read novels.

A friend of a sports car brought him a grapevine from Xinjiang. Xiaobo planted it in the corner and built a shelf with iron wire and bamboo poles. Now the pergola is green, and I like to sit there and read.

Brother Li is busy with a new business, and leaves the entire store to Xiaobo and Squid to take care of it. When someone was shopping, Xiaobo went out to have a look; when there was no one, Xiaobo would play billiards while chatting with me, who was curled up under the vines.

Every now and then, people would come to bet on football, sometimes small bets, sometimes big bets, and big bets, Li Ge would often clear the yard, lock the door of the hospital, send someone to guard the store, and not allow others to come in. Once when I was clearing the place, I happened to be there, Xiaobo didn't drive me away, Li Ge and Squid didn't care about me, and let me come in and out freely. I watched a lot, and gradually I saw a bit of doorway. There were people who came to gamble with tattoos and foul-mouthed words, but there were also people who were well-dressed and polite.

When I was gambling, I occasionally made a bet. Xiaobo was very good at it, and he never let me lose money. With him, my meager pocket money can buy some books I like after buying orange juice. And rent books to read from a nearby bookstore. With the rental bookstore, I began to watch Gu Long in full, and I liked "Happy Heroes" the most, and I watched it over and over again, just because there was no loneliness in it.

Tired of reading books, if there is no one, Xiaobo will teach me to play billiards, correcting each posture one by one. My cerebellum is not developed, and my grades in physical education have always been poor, but I have a little talent for this kind of semi-static intellectual sports, and I quickly played well.

Sometimes, Brother Li and the squid are both there, and the four of us will sit under the grape trellis and play double buttons. At the beginning, Brother Li and Squid thought I was too small and didn't want to be with my family, so Xiaobo was a good guy, regardless of winning or losing, willing to play with my family and play with me.

The loser needs to put a white note on his face. We often lose the same face, and the note cannot fit.

When the rules are mastered, I gradually have the demeanor of a general in playing cards. In the words of Brother Li, I am calm; in the words of the squid, it is sinister enough. Xiaobo is very good at playing cards, and with my cooperation, the two of us often played to the point where Brother Li and the squid were looking for teeth all over the place. They wanted to separate me from Xiaobo. I didn't do it. I looked down on me before, but now I don't want to be with your family!

Brother Li and the squid both laughed at me and held grudges. I grinned and said, "Those who don't hold grudges don't know how to hold grudges." No matter how they made fun of them, I was only with the Xiaobo family anyway.

Sometimes, the four of us even played with officers and soldiers to catch thieves. I like to be a thug, holding an iron ruler to catch and beat whomever. The squid is always cheating, so I chase him and fight.

I changed my obedient silence before, and began to laugh, laugh, and show my teeth. Squid complained to Xiaobo, thinking that he had adopted a cat, but it turned out to be a little leopard. Xiaobo laughed: "Who told you to love to provoke her?"

When I was playing cards, Brother Li and the others drank beer, and the drink they gave me was Jianlibao. At that time, Coca-Cola, Pepsi, Fanta, and Wahaha had not yet appeared. This kind of bubbling orange-flavored carbonated water was the best in my heart. drink.

Later, whenever I think back to this summer vacation, I can't help but think of the words "long vacation". I know that my vacation has nothing to do with the Japanese drama "Long Vacation", but when I think of this vacation across the long river of years, there will always be bright sunshine, sparkling river water, green grape leaves, Happy laughter, the sweet orange fragrance in my mouth, a few good friends, and a boy I like.

2

grandfather's death

Time is fleeting, fleeting,

Therefore, those love and warmth are always in a hurry,

Before you can cherish it, it's gone in a blink of an eye.

Time is eternal and long,

Therefore, those love and warmth are always engraved in my heart,

For a lifetime, unforgettable.

I don't know where it became popular, but by the time I knew it, both boys and girls in the class were already rollerblading. When it is time for extracurricular activities, the concrete floor in front of the teaching building is filled with roller skating students. The roller skates of that era were very simple, just a few iron pieces on the four reels, plus soft leather and straps. The iron sheet can be retracted and adjusted in size, without taking off the shoes, you can directly fix the roller skates outside your own shoes to slide.

There were not many students with roller skates in the class, so everyone gathered around these students and lined up to take turns to play. These fashionable things, Zhang Jun has never fallen behind. When other boys are still wearing roller skates and walking tremblingly, he has been able to slip backwards. He suddenly became the most popular boy for girls, because the girls both borrowed his roller skates and asked him to teach them to skate.

I watched them dancing on the concrete floor from a distance, there was a deep desire in my heart, but they showed no interest at all. I didn't want to please anyone for a pair of roller skates, even if that person was Zhang Jun, or especially that person was Zhang Jun.

After my mother received a telegram, she suddenly said she was going back to her hometown, and told my sister and I to listen to my father. I asked her if she could take me back with me, and she said that I wanted to study and could not miss school. I stayed up late at night and wrote a long letter, telling my grandfather that everything was fine, that a teacher Gao was very nice to me, praised me for being smart, my classmates liked me, I have many friends, and I have read a lot of books , I will grow up soon, and when I grow up, I will go to see him and go fishing with him...

The next day, my mother left in a hurry. I was looking forward to her coming back, imagining what my grandfather would bring me, maybe a pair of roller skates, and that I would skate really well, surprising Jun Zhang.

More than a week later, my mother came back haggard, and she lost a lot of weight. I pestered her and asked, "Did Grandpa see my letter? Did he bring me a present? What did he say..."

Dad dragged me aside and told me, "Your grandfather has esophageal cancer and has passed away. Your mother is very sad. Don't pester her to mention her grandfather." I looked at my father blankly, and my father gave me five dollars, Say, "Go out and play by yourself, and go buy something to eat when you're hungry."

I walked out of the house with the money in my hand. I didn't know where to go in the empty world. Grandpa died? Death means the person disappeared from the world? I will never see him again. I long to grow up because I can go back to him when I grow up, what should I do now? What should I do when I grow up? Where can I go

Xiaobo was sweeping the floor at the entrance of the game room. When he saw me, he asked with a smile, "What's wrong with you? Why are your eyes straight?"

I said, "I invite you to eat mutton skewers."

He was stunned for a moment. He and I are both cheapskates. We seldom spend money arbitrarily, and almost never eat snacks. I do it for reading, but he seems to have a habit of saving money. Today, I turned sex and became more generous. He stood the broom against the corner and cheered: "Okay!"

We walked to the mutton kebab stall on the corner, and I handed five dollars to the kebab guy and said, "Twenty skewers of mutton, ten skewers have less chili, and ten skewers need a lot of chili."

"More chili, more chili..." My lamb kebabs almost became grilled chili kebabs in my replay and replay.

We took the mutton kebab and ate it while walking. As soon as I entered it, I was so spicy that my whole mouth was fighting, but I ate it all in one bite. Xiaobo held his own mutton skewers and looked at me silently.

After I finished eating the mutton skewers, I wiped my tears and said, "It's so spicy!"

No matter how hard I wiped off the tears, I couldn't wipe them clean. Just like the river water that burst its banks, all of it flowed out, and it was getting bigger and bigger. I felt very embarrassed. I was about to run away when I pulled my feet. I entered the yard from the back door.

I stood under the grape trellis, facing the wall, tears streaming down my face, and he sat on the pool table, looking at me in silence.

I don't know how long I cried, it should be a long time, because the squid in the middle came in once and was kicked out by Xiaobo, and there were a few people who wanted to bet on the ball, but also rejected by Xiaobo.

When the tears were over, I wiped my face with my sleeve, turned around, and Xiaobo asked, "Are you hungry? I'll invite you to eat beef noodles."

I nodded and the two went to eat beef noodles. At the beef noodle restaurant, I buried my head and told him, "My grandfather passed away."

He was silent, and I said, "Mom and Dad thought I was young and didn't remember. In fact, I remember everything related to my grandfather, because I miss him every day." Tears were in my eyes again. Spinning around, I didn't dare to say any more, and began to eat the noodles hard.

After eating the noodles, Xiaobo took me to the canteen and said, "I want to buy some snacks to eat. What do you think is delicious?"

Without the slightest hesitation, I pointed to the chocolate and said, "The wine is better."

"Is there any boozy chocolate? Weigh half a catty."

Xiaobo weighed half a catty of boozy chocolate, ate one by himself, and invited me to eat it too. I peeled one and put it in my mouth. My heart was still bitter, but my mouth was full of sweetness.

When I got home in the evening, my mother handed me a set of handwritten copies of "The Heaven and the Dragon": "This is a book copied by your grandfather. Originally, my grandfather left you tens of thousands of dollars..." My mother sighed softly, "My mother only This is brought to you, you keep it well."

Mom's haggard and exhaustion made her look dark and thin. She didn't know my sadness, but I could understand her sadness. I said softly, "Go to bed early."

Mom patted my head and left the house.

I opened "Eternal Dragon Slayer" and started watching. Although I have read the book "Book and Sword Enemy and Enmity" and the TV series "The Legend of the Condor Heroes", the name of Jin Yong is still unfamiliar to me. I haven't read "The Return of Heroes", so when I saw Guo Xiang riding a green donkey and wandering around the world, although he felt a little confused, he was confused. The flowers are blooming. The young children are old, and the red-faced girl finally saw white hair on the temples... "

I suddenly felt a big grief in my heart, the handwriting was just like, but the person was no longer there! Never has I felt the cruelty of time as vividly as now.

I closed the book immediately and didn't look down again. After I went to college, I dared to read "Eternal Dragon Slayer", and only then did I really know that Guo Xiang, a woman I had loved for many years, was not even a supporting role in this story.