The squid and the others are too used to my hand holding the scroll. Now I suddenly stop reading, and the squid is even a little uncomfortable. He asked me over and over again: "Four-eyed panda, what's the matter with you? Are you out of money? Do you want my brother to support you? "
I ignored him, he joked without any scruples as usual, but this time, the blind cat caught the dead mouse, and it hit my sore spot: "The four-eyed panda is thinking of spring? The four-eyed panda is lost in love?"
I grabbed my schoolbag and ran out of the game room, but it was only half a year and the sun was still shining, but the long vacation I thought it had just started was over.
Tonight, it's raining outside the window. Gently open the classmate record under the lamp, the face that I thought I would never forget has been blurred. The note that I thought had been lost was actually caught in the page.
Tonight, there is a drizzle of rain outside the window. It is exactly the same as when we waved our hands to part in that year. The rain in the sky is singing a song, which we never understood back then, in a hurry, too hurry.
There are many primary schools in the city. Our school only has five places to participate in the mathematics competition. Zhang Jun and I have only two places. Many teachers have quite a lot of ideas. In order for me and Zhang Jun to participate in the competition, Teacher Gao was under a lot of pressure and was almost betting on her career future, but she kept telling us, just do your best, the competition is just a learning process, as long as you feel that you have It doesn't matter if you win or not.
Scholar die for the confidant!
I don't mind being a poor student, and I don't care about any math competition at all, but I am very, very afraid that I will disappoint Teacher Gao, and I am even more afraid that others will hurt Teacher Gao because of my incompetence. Only by winning the award can we repay Teacher Gao's kindness.
One month before the competition, every day, I had to study with a boy who I liked but didn't like me. Teacher Gao also asked us to discuss with each other and try our best to open our minds.
Not long ago, this was the sweetest thing in my heart, but now, hopeless pain is gnawing at my heart all the time, and I still have to grit my teeth and try to hear every word he says clearly, Tell yourself you must win!
Every day, I do the exercises like crazy, I give up everything else in life, every morning when I open my eyes, it is a competition; every night when I close my eyes, it is still a competition. During that time, even in my dreams, I could not be stable. In my dreams, it was not the overwhelming math problems, but Zhang Jun and Guan He. In the dream, they were always talking and laughing, but I was invisible like a mustard.
On the one hand, I tried my best; on the other hand, I had no confidence in myself at all. I had no idea if I could win the prize. Three days before the exam, I dreamed that I failed the exam, and people all over the world laughed at me. Teacher Gao and I. I often wake up frightened from my dreams, and for me this competition is more than an exam at all. It contains my thoughts of repaying my gratitude, and it also contains my contest to prove myself to myself. If the competition does not win, it will be the end of the world. My stress was unimaginable to outsiders.
One day I felt like I couldn’t hold it anymore, I ran to the game room, the squid was looking at the store, Xiaobo was playing games with a pale face, he was preparing for the middle school exam, obviously it wasn’t easy.
The squid laughed: "The two of you are really like brothers and sisters. If you don't say it, you don't come, but when you come, you all come."
I said to the squid: "Give me a beer, I don't have any money now, so I'll take it on credit."
The squid froze for a while, took a bottle of beer without saying a word, pried off the cap and handed it to me, I took it over and took a few big mouthfuls, Xiaobo called me over: "Play a game with me."
I took a beer and walked over. Said to play with him, but in fact he taught me to play. I used to watch boring games, but today it became a little interesting. With my hands, I violently beat the operation buttons. Every time I killed a monster, I watched blood on the screen. When I splashed around, people seemed to relax a little. After a game, my tense heart that seemed to be about to break was relieved. Xiaobo took the rest of my beer, filled half the bottle in one breath, and asked Me: "What's wrong with you?"
I looked at the flashing picture on the screen of the game console, and said the fear in my heart: "I have nightmares, dreaming that I failed the exam."
"Dreams are the opposite."
"real?"
"What are you lying about? Dreams are the opposite. The worse the dream, the better the reality!"
I was skeptical, but suddenly the whole person was full of fighting spirit again, clenched his fists, turned around and ran out, the squid called from behind: "Why did you just come and leave? Don't you drink beer?"
"Stop drinking, I'll go back and do the math."
"Don't forget to pay back the money."
On the day after the competition, when Zhang Jun and I walked out of the examination room, Mr. Gao didn’t ask how we were doing in the test, he just said that we were invited to dinner. I wanted to refuse, but it was Mr. Gao who sent the invitation, so I had to go and have dinner. At that time, I thought that I had actually survived, and the breath that had been held in my chest was dissipated at once, my head was extremely heavy, and suddenly my nose began to bleed.
Zhang Jun hurriedly folded a roll of paper for me with a napkin, but I couldn't control myself at all, and opened his hand with force, the action was too decisive and violent, not to mention him, even Teacher Gao was stunned. I tilted my head nonchalantly, folded a napkin and stuffed my nose.
After the competition, I distanced myself from Zhang Jun and avoided him on purpose.
Zhang Jun is not a fool, of course I feel that I don't want to pay attention to him, but he still often comes to talk to me. Occasionally, he waits for me after school and wants to go with me, but I always refuse him.
Zhang Jun has a very boyish temper. Every time I ignore him, he doesn't say anything to coax me, just doesn't say any extra words. I don't want to care about you." But within two days, he appeared in front of me again, and then turned around angrily and left.
After a period of time like this, I don’t know since when, Zhang Jun ignored me and suddenly disappeared from my life. Every day in class, he stepped on the bell to the classroom, and left the school in a hurry after school, rarely staying at the school. Sometimes, I occasionally saw him on the road, and he always mixed with a group of technical school students who were much older than us. Although we were in the same class, it seemed like we were in two worlds.
Later, I heard that during the Spring Festival, Zhang Jun and two classmates pried open a non-staple food store and stole a lot of cigarettes. After the incident was exposed, the parents lost money to the food store and tried their best to cover it up.
Zhang Jun himself still went his own way, but the two classmates were strictly warned by their parents not to interact with Zhang Jun again. The parents believed that Zhang Jun had damaged their children. The matter spread among the parents, and almost all boys' parents forbade their children to play with Zhang Jun.
Zhang Jun didn't know it at first, and still ran to other people's houses, but the parents who opened the door didn't even let him in. Later, Gao Fei, who played the best with him, told him the reason. After Zhang Jun understood, he immediately stopped playing with his classmates, and started hanging out with friends in the society who would not dislike him.
I guess he must have thought I was alienated from him for this reason, so he never came to see me again.
In the second half of the second semester of the sixth grade, the results of the math competition came out. I won the second prize with a difference of two points from the first place. Zhang Jun's result was lower than me, but it was also the second prize. After the flag-raising ceremony, the principal announced our school's outstanding performance in the math competition. He didn't mention Zhang Jun's name at all, but only praised me.
I finally let go of my high-hanging heart. There are a total of five winners in the city, and our school has two of them. Teacher Gao has won honors for the school as soon as he started working. The other teachers were speechless.
Because of the math competition, I got the first certificate of merit in my life. It was just a thin piece of colored printing paper, and I wrote with a brush that Luo Qiqi won the second prize of the math competition. But for me, this certificate is more than gold. precious.
When I got home, I nervously and shyly showed the certificate to my parents. My father put my certificate on the wall, and while sticking the certificate, he encouraged me to continue to work hard. My sister pouted and watched. I have a lot of excitement and anticipation in my heart. I like my dad at this moment, and he keeps looking at me. If possible, I really hope that I will have a certificate to take home every day, and let my dad post it every day.
When I went to bed at night, I was secretly excited while looking at the testimonials on the wall.
When I woke up the next morning, I found that the certificate had been painted colorfully with crayons, and my name and the words "Second Prize" were all painted out.
I was so furious that I rushed into my sister's room without even bothering to put on my clothes, jumped onto her bed a few times, and hit her on top of her. She started crying and screaming.
Mom and Dad rushed in and pulled me away. When they figured out what happened, they were amused and angry.
The younger sister was crying out of breath while hugging her mother's neck, and her parents were no longer willing to blame her. The father said, "Qi Qi, isn't it just a certificate! How can you beat someone? Hurry up and get dressed and get ready for school..."
I stared at them, it wasn't just a certificate! More than just a piece of paper! But Dad was already in a hurry to make breakfast, and Mom was busy comforting her sister and coaxing her to get dressed.
I walked slowly back to my bedroom, and forcefully tore the certificate from the wall, shredded it, and threw it in the trash. No one cares anyway, so why should I
I don't care, I don't care at all!
I have always been confused about the definition of childhood. How old is a child? Later, it was decided to divide it according to the Children's Day. There is a cultural performance on Children's Day in our city. We will have a holiday until the sixth grade. Students who can sing and dance will participate in the cultural performance and come to the stage to win honors for the class and school. Other students are responsible for watching and applauding. Every year on June 1, the teacher will give everyone a stationery box, which contains hard fruit candies, so that when I think of June 1, it smells like cheap fruit candies.
This is our last Children's Day. The exam for primary school to junior high school is approaching. After the exam, those who study well will be promoted to key junior high schools, and those who have poor studies will be eliminated into ordinary junior high schools. The parting was right in front of me, and the class was filled with sadness, memories, and fear, but I didn't feel anything. Instead, I checked the calendar every day to see how many days left for graduation.
I was a child without courage. In the face of my pain and low self-esteem, the path I chose was to escape and avoid. I saw junior high school as a brand new world where I could start over.
The students took the message book and asked each other to leave a message. The message book contained the ideals in the future, the things they wanted to do the most, and the places they wanted to go the most. I wrote "none".
I bought this beautiful guestbook, but I didn’t invite anyone to write it. In the end, I didn’t know what I was thinking in my subconscious mind. I asked Guan He to write a graduation message for me, and Guan He opened mine. Leaving a message for the memorial book, he smiled in surprise and said, "I am the first!"
I smiled and said nothing, what she didn't know was that she was also the last one.
Finally, the graduation party is going to be held!
Many students performed the show, including singing and dancing. As graduation was approaching, the performances of the classmates exceeded the standard. Several boys wore black bloomers with narrow trousers and fat legs, and black leather gloves to break dance. The three buddies who played well with Zhang Jun wore the white uniforms borrowed from nowhere and sang the song of the Little Tigers:
String your heart and mine
bunch of clover
String a concentric circle
Let all those who are looking forward to the future be a companion while they are young
Don't let the young get older and lonely
Plant my clover in your dream field
Let the earth rotate forever with our concentric circles
…
I kept wandering in a trance, the girls in the class burst into tears, and some boys wiped their tears with red scarves. I felt very uncomfortable in my heart, but I couldn't cry. My sadness was engraved in my heart, and I couldn't express my tears.
After the principal and the teacher finished their speeches and posted their graduation photos, the classmates dispersed one after another. I was still sitting in the seat by the window, staring out of the classroom in a daze. I always felt that I hated this school the most and wanted to escape from this school the most, but I fell in love with it at the last moment.
"Luo Qiqi."
It was Zhang Jun's voice, I needed to arm myself before I dared to turn back: "What's the matter?"
He stood in front of me without speaking, the sky-blue curtains rose and fell behind him, like blue waves, and the sunlight poured in from the large glass windows, making his white shirt dazzlingly white, as if shimmering. There were several classmates talking on the podium, and there were classmates screaming in the corridor, but all the sounds were blown away by the warm summer wind. He and I seemed to be in another space, which was so quiet that it was scary and disturbing. .
My nose was inexplicably sour, and I asked again: "What's the matter?"
He stared at me and said, "There's something I want to tell you."
Under his focused gaze, I felt a heart beating faster and faster.
"Zhang Jun." Guan He and a girl from a foreign class called at the door.
When Zhang Jun saw them, his expression suddenly became awkward and he took a big step back. I saw his appearance, and then looked at Guan He, who was like a lotus flower coming out of the door. Suddenly, I didn't want to hear anything. I stood up in a panic, and walked out of the classroom with my head lowered. When I passed by Guan He, she was very polite. Bless me: "I wish you a smooth entrance into a key junior high school."
But I rudely left without saying a word. Whether I could be admitted to a key junior high school was my own efforts, not the blessings of others. As soon as I left the classroom, I ran, eager to leave all the unhappiness of my childhood behind me forever. The warm summer wind blew past my face, maybe it could really blow a lot of things behind me, but the boy who led me forward in the cold wind was still quietly engraved in the bottom of my heart.
In my eagerness to dodge the past and run forward, I didn't even have the courage to wave and do anything else, so I hurriedly sent away my childhood.