Jiang Ou took a sip from the paper cup he handed him, the temperature was just right, she swallowed the water, and suddenly realized that her son has always been like this for so many years. He doesn't talk often, but he always takes good care of others. It's just because he's so good and calm that sometimes even she forgets that he's actually not that old.
"Have you taken the medicine?" Jiang Tian asked in a deep voice after sitting with her for a while.
Jiang Ou nodded: "I ate one before coming here."
The communication between their mother and son always seems to be like this. Jiang Tian is not good at small talk, is not good at solving problems, and is not good at finding topics to relax and happy. Every time he stays silent where she can touch, like a steady and speechless shadow.
Jiang Ou stared at the shadow under his feet for a while, and suddenly heard him ask, "How are you playing?"
She froze for a moment, a little surprised. She thought that Jiang Tian would get straight to the point and asked her what she had said to Ji Huanyu. Unexpectedly, after many years, he actually learned to be euphemistic.
"It's good, I'm not tired, I'm very relaxed." Jiang Ou smiled lightly, and when his eyebrows were stretched, he was still gentle and amiable, but years of psychological torture made her a little more tired than before, "The old man is also very I like it, I found two chess friends, and I also met an old lady who can play the piano."
Jiang Tian gave a "um", turned his head in the direction of the ward and said, "Then why did you ignore him?"
Jiang Ou smiled and sighed softly after a long time. She knew that the euphemism was only temporary, and her son was still the stubborn and stubborn temper that went straight and would not bend.
"I just want to try." Jiang Ou said.
"try what?"
"Try the doctor's advice and see if I'm really getting better."
"Why do you suddenly want to try?"
Jiang Ou opened his mouth, wanting to say because I know how tired the people around me are, and how tired you are. But the time of living in a foreign country for five or six years was in front of her, and this sentence seemed extremely pale and weak, and she could not say it. What's more, she still gets nervous for no reason because of a few words, and her recovery is not so complete.
She was speechless when asked, and was about to joke about staring at Mom and questioning her like that? Suddenly I remembered what the doctor once said, saying that she is more like a junior in this mother-son relationship, and is more dependent on each other than taking care of each other. It used to be like this, but she didn't clearly realize that Jiang Tian was more independent, and she couldn't take care of it if she wanted to.
Later, because of Ji Huanyu and Du Cheng, she became frightened and suspicious, and felt that no one was trustworthy, and no one was worthy of her affection. The only exception is Jiang Tian.
So she didn't even realize that she took this son as a life-saving straw, and her survival instinct made her clenched tightly, for fear that when she turned her head, even this one and only disappeared.
Seeing that she was stunned for a long time and didn't know how to reply, Jiang Tian pursed his lips and lowered his eyes. He rested his elbows on his knees, fingers clasped loosely. After a while, he asked again, "How was your chat with him?"
"Who?" Jiang Ou was at a loss for a moment before realizing that he was talking about Ji Huanyu, so she replied, "It's different from what I imagined."
Jiang Tian turned his head to look at her, she frowned lightly and thought about it: "I thought I would be very uncomfortable, anxious and sweaty, but no. He has changed a lot, and he almost didn't recognize it. Maybe he did well. No, I have nothing to be angry about."
This time Jiang Tian didn't speak, and was silent for a long time. After a long time, Jiang Ou couldn't sit still and glanced at him.
"Little Tim?" Jiang Ou called him.
"Um."
"Do you think Mom is funny?"
Jiang Tian twitched the corner of his mouth, not smiling at all. "It's not funny, I just can't figure it out," he said.
"What can't you figure out?" Jiang Ou asked warmly.
Jiang Tian didn't raise his eyes, and asked in a low voice, "Even Ji Huanyu, you can say it, why can't I?"
Jiang Ou's heart jerked violently, as if someone had pinched a little flesh on the top of his heart with the sharpest fingernails.
Although he spoke directly, he never asked such a question. Afraid that she will be restless or sleepy or emotionally collapsed. With his own temper, he has been attacking for so many years, and for the first time today, he couldn't hold back.
"Am I more unacceptable than Ji Huanyu?"
His tone was actually calm, like really just confused. The more this happened, the more painful Jiang Ou felt in his heart.
She was bitten by a snake for ten years and was afraid of a well rope. She has been in the horns of the bull all these years, but she was afraid that she would not be well raised, and that Jiang Tian would go down the road of Ji Huanyu... In the final analysis, she just didn't want Jiang Tian to be a little bit similar to Ji Huanyu. place.
But she never expected that Jiang Tian would put himself and Ji Huanyu on a steel scale after going around in a circle. And she was dumbfounded, and she didn't know how to refute it.
She wanted to say of course not, how could it be possible? You are very different from Ji Huanyu.
But she looked around at a loss, but found that in these years, everything she did seemed to stand on the opposite side of this point of view, and her every reaction seemed to be clamoring "you will become that scum if you're not careful" .
The most frightening thing is that if Jiang Tian didn't ask that, she would never even realize it.
But…
"I really didn't mean that, Xiao Tian." Jiang Ou took a sip of water and slowly suppressed his emotions while holding the cup. The process of facing Ji Huanyu just now provided her with experience. She subconsciously recalled that moment and tried her best to imagine herself as a bystander. Sitting in front of her was not her son, but a strange young man who was trying to befriend her.
She is less anxious and much better than in previous years. She's just sad...
In order to avoid the violent ups and downs of emotions and because of the drugs, she has not sorted out her thoughts for a long time, or she has not "thought" this behavior for a long time, so that at this moment, too many words came On her lips, she didn't know what to say.
After a long silence, she finally found the beginning of a sentence: "I actually tried it."
Jiang Tian raised his eyes.
It was like an encouragement, she held the cup, and continued: "Mom really tried to understand that for a while I was fine without taking medicine. I thought about it for many days. I was thinking... Why are parents all the time? I hope my son and daughter can get married and have a good child? My mother, your grandmother told me before. She said that she was thinking of getting old and she was gone. What should I do if I am alone? It’s good to have someone by my side. Now, she is relieved that there is a reliable person who can take care of me. In fact, I am about the same, I just thought... "
She paused, her eyes a little reddened. She lowered her head and took a sip of water before saying, "My son was alone when he was a child, and no one took care of him. In fact, it's very strange that Ji Huanyu is useless, and I'm not qualified myself. It's better to have an unrelated old man to kiss you. But The old man is getting older, and his health is not as good as before. Including myself, I will leave first in the future. If you were not married at that time, you would still be alone. It doesn’t matter at ordinary times. How old are you?"
Jiang Tian moved a bit: "Marriage can't guarantee this."
"I know." Jiang Ou spoke very slowly, always with a bit of a nasal voice, "Look, Mom really thought about it. I told myself later that getting married doesn't really mean anything. Li, I am a living example. But I have you, who will you have in the future? I thought and thought at that time, many days were drilled in and couldn’t come out.”
Jiang Tian pondered for a long time and turned to Jiang Ou: "When you came to Wutong to pick me up, you thought that you would be taken care of by someone in your 70s or 80s?"
"Of course not." Jiang Ou said.
"Then why should I think?" Jiang Tian said.
He was not questioning, and his tone was not serious, as always, cold and indifferent, with a bit of helplessness and pride. But Jiang Ou was indeed stunned.
"The old man has never been married, and has never given birth to a child. He is still supported by someone. There is only a nurse next to Ji Huanyu." Jiang Tian rubbed his thumbs against his knuckles and said in a trance: "Who knows what will happen in the future, so many years in advance. Does the plan work?"
"How do you know if you don't try?" Jiang Ou said.
"I tried it when I was 18," Jiang Tian said.
Jiang Ou was suddenly speechless.
18 years old is a hurdle. Since then, Jiang Tian has never celebrated his birthday again. She and Ding old man, professor, classmate or neighbor, whoever tried to prepare him, would be rejected. He seemed to be afraid of that day, and even hated that day.
As long as he thinks of this matter, Jiang Ou will feel unbearably uncomfortable.
She bowed her head hastily and took a few more sips of water.
The hallway is not so warm and the water cools quickly. Jiang Tian reached out and took her paper cup, got up and walked to the water room.
In the past few years, Jiang Ou has seen his back many times. Perhaps because this floor is too empty, it seems more and more silent and lonely. The corridor is very long, and the water room is at the other end.
For a moment, Jiang Ou had an illusion. It seems that the lonely back will walk on the narrow road for a long time, and it will never come to an end.
She clenched her fingers and suddenly got up and followed.
Jiang Tian was mixing warm water in the water room, the mouth of the cup was hot, and there was a layer of white mist on the stainless steel water tank. Yu Guangli Jiang Ou followed and stood beside him.
After a few seconds, he heard the other party ask softly, "Does it have to be Xiao Wang?"
Jiang Tian was taken aback for a moment, and his index finger was almost scalded by boiling water.
He lowered his eyes, hurriedly turned off the faucet, and stood there holding the slightly hot water glass for a while before he said, "Why can't it be him?"
Why even Ji Huanyu can be treated calmly, but he is always so sensitive when he hears Sheng Wang's name
There was no blood on Jiang Ou's face, and he looked a little pale: "Because I really think of Xiaowang as a son."
She knew that Sheng Mingyang was a businessman and would be nice to Jiang Tian, but it was hard to treat him as her own. But she is not. For a long time, she really regarded Shengwang as her second son, her own. Not because of her deep feelings for Sheng Mingyang, but because she regards Sheng Wang as Jiang Tian in another time and space.
"Did I tell you before? I've heard a lot about Xiaowang when he was a child, and I think he is very similar to when you were young, but he was brought up like that, and you were brought up like this by me. I often think, If I can be a little more qualified, I will accompany you more and be used to you, will you grow up to be like Xiaowang, laugh, make trouble and get angry. It's not that he has a better personality than you, I just think... If that's the case, you Will I mature later, think less, and smile more?" Jiang Ou said.
She really regarded Sheng Wang as her son, how could she accept the fact that the two sons were together
After hearing those words, Jiang Tian didn't say a word. He just stood silently, staring at the slightly swaying waterline in the cup. After a long time, he suddenly said, "Have you seen him before?"
Jiang Ou didn't react for a while: "Who have you seen?"
"Shengwang."
"… No."
"You should meet." Jiang Tian said.
"why?"
"When I saw him a month ago, he didn't laugh, he didn't make trouble, and he didn't get angry anymore." He pulled the corner of his mouth and laughed with self-deprecation, "It took five or six years to raise another Jiang Tian. ."
Jiang Ou's breathing was stagnant, and his heart seemed to have been caught with a long tear, gurgling blood. She was very sad. She didn't know whether it was because of Jiang Tian who said such words, or because she became the grand hope of "Jiang Tian". Or... it's because of going around for so many years, grinding everyone into "Jiang Tian" himself.
She suddenly remembered the young man she saw outside the hospital door, opened her mouth blankly, and asked, "Is Xiao Wang here?"
"Come on, I didn't let him come up." Jiang Tian said.
She subconsciously wanted to ask why, but fortunately she stopped before the voice came out, otherwise it would add embarrassment. She also wanted to ask "Are you together again", but couldn't ask. Because she even said it to Ji Huanyu, she doesn't know what else to use to ask this sentence.
It seems that as long as she asks, she puts the two of them on the same line with Ji Huanyu, which should be the last thing she wants to see.
She didn't find a position to ask, but Jiang Tian took the initiative to say, "I shouldn't be able to change anyone else."
Jiang Ou was stunned for a moment.
"I want to spend a long time with him, and I don't want to miss any year." Jiang Tian looked at her, "If you can't accept it, I'll find you alone in the future, and nothing will change. If it's acceptable, then the two will be together. "
He paused and said, "I'm not asking for advice, I just want to tell you."