Jiang Tian's seat was at the very edge of the rostrum. He actually lost his mind after speaking, but it was inappropriate to turn his head and leave. He was stunned by He Jin until the next process started before he seized the opportunity to leave.
He almost strode back to Mingli Building. Sheng Wang finally moved back to Class A, and the seat he had occupied for a long time was finally able to return. From now on, he could see the other person's shadow on his desk without looking up.
But when he ran to the top floor and stopped by the back door frame, he didn't find Sheng Wang in the classroom.
The atmosphere of the classroom was very strange. The mute button was pressed from the buzzing noise since he entered the door. Everyone looked up at him, but no one spoke.
Jiang Tian was stunned for a moment, then walked back to his seat and asked Gao Tianyang, "Where's Shengwang?"
The expressions of the people around him suddenly became strange, and even Gao Tianyang froze for a moment. Jiang Tian raised his eyes and found that the carp and the small pepper were hesitating in front of him.
At that moment, his heart sank suddenly, as if feeling something.
"What are you looking at, self-study!" Gao Tianyang shouted to the surrounding. He threw away the untouched papers, scratched his hair a little irritably, and pulled Jiang Tian out of the classroom.
"Brother Sheng went to the Political and Religious Office." Gao Tianyang said.
"why?"
"Fight." Gao Tianyang hesitated for a moment, then added: "Because Qi Jiahao said you..."
His voice dropped suddenly, the word "homosexual" was very vague, and he always felt that saying this in person was like stabbed Jiang Tian straight, bloody.
And when he finished speaking and raised his eyes, Jiang Tian had already strode down the stairs, and disappeared in the blink of an eye. He only remembered that when the other party ran across the corner of the stairs, his lips were pressed together and his face was pale.
He almost bumped into someone on the way to the Political and Religious Office, but Jiang Tian couldn't remember. His mind was full of the scene of Sheng Mingyang walking away from the front row of the auditorium to answer the phone. He couldn't imagine the connection between the two, just like he couldn't imagine Sheng Wang standing alone in the office of the Political and Religious Office.
But when he broke into the office, he only saw Xu Dazui standing by the window with a frown on his waist.
The door that was pushed open slammed into the wall, and he opened his mouth amid the trembling sound of the wooden door, his voice difficult: "Teacher..."
Xu Dazui turned around and looked at him with a complicated expression. He couldn't tell whether he wanted to scold him or sigh.
Jiang Tian tried his best to hold his breath and asked, "Where's Sheng Wang?"
"Let's go." Xu Dazui said.
For a moment, Jiang Tian frowned and seemed unable to understand the meaning of these two words. There was a buzzing in his head, as if immersed in a glacier, and he was numb from the cold.
"What's going on?" he heard himself ask in confusion.
Xu Dazui finally sighed, "It was taken away by his father."
"Where did you go?"
"How do I know?" Xu Dazui frowned at him, "Jiang Tian..."
As soon as he finished saying these two words, he saw the boy at the door lowered his eyes. He seemed to be unable to hold back at last, bending over to support his knees, breathing heavily, as if he had run tens of thousands of miles.
Xu Dazui suddenly couldn't say anything. It's not that he hasn't dealt with this kind of situation, but it is precisely because he has encountered it that he wants to sigh even more.
There are no secrets in the middle school, only rumors that spread like wildfire, even if he warns the insider, some things will still spread everywhere, even within a few minutes.
Xu Dazui saw Jiang Tian's fingers on his knees shrunk, clenched into fists, and his thumbs pinched the joints tightly.
Seeing that even he felt pain, Jiang Tiancai stood up straight and asked in a hoarse voice, "Did you beat him?"
Xu Dazui was dumbfounded for a long time and replied, "No, I didn't fight."
Jiang Tian nodded and left.
Xu Dazui saw him running under the window, through the flower bed full of dead leaves at the back of the building, and went straight to No. 3 Road... Not knowing where to look.
In fact, for a moment, Sheng Mingyang wanted to fight. The moment Sheng Wang said "don't check it", everyone could see how embarrassed his father who kept saying "impossible" was. His hands had already been raised and dropped at the last minute, fingers trembling like spasms.
He stood there for a long time, and in the end he just said to Xu Dazui, "Old Xu, I'll take him out for a while, so it won't take up your time."
Even in his rage, he didn't pull himself into a mess, neither father and son were such people. He just patted Sheng Wang on the shoulder and motioned him to go out.
Before going out, he stopped again, turned his head and said to Xu Dazui, who had a sad face, "I'll admit it for him, what's wrong with him, the child is ignorant, and my father is also a mess, causing you trouble."
He bowed slightly, like those parents who are obviously successful in their careers, but are humble and submissive to their teachers.
The slap clearly did not fall, but Sheng Wang felt that he had been slapped hard, pain from his face to his heart. He wanted to say "don't do this", but it was himself who caused this scene, and he was not qualified to say this.
But is he really so wrong? He clearly... just likes someone.
At that moment, Sheng Wang felt so uncomfortable that he wanted to bend down. But in the end he just followed Sheng Mingyang out in silence.
He thought that Sheng Mingyang would bring him home directly, he knew that the other party needed a place without outsiders, but Sheng Mingyang did not.
The car went directly to the Ring Expressway, which was extremely fast, completely inconsistent with Sheng Mingyang's usual driving style. I don't know how long it took to step on the emergency brake, Sheng Wang was in pain from the seat belt, and hit the back of the seat heavily.
The car was parked on an unknown side road in an industrial park in the suburbs, and no one came and went. This angle is just right on the sun, and both the driver's seat and the co-pilot are stabbed to the point of opening their eyes. Sheng Mingyang reached out to get the sunglasses, but finally lowered his hand and pulled the handbrake irritably.
He can't drive.
Sheng Wang's eyes were pierced with sourness by the light, but he didn't close it. He just kept staring at the spot of light until the world became a big blank before he heard Sheng Mingyang speak: "When did it happen?"
There was anger in his voice, but when it sounded in the car, it was stuffy and depressing, like dense aquatic plants entangled in layers, and tightened a little bit.
"I don't remember." Sheng Wang said.
The four words caught Sheng Mingyang's anger, and he slapped the steering wheel heavily: "What do you mean by not remembering? When did you start ghost-"
He might want to say "fuck off" or something, but he can't get on with it halfway through. He rubbed his eyebrows and took a few deep breaths. After being silent for a long time, he tried his best to slow down his tone: "Tell me the truth, is it Xiao Tian who—"
"No." Sheng Wang interrupted.
At that moment he felt a huge absurdity.
He wants to say, do you know how much shadow Ji Huanyu has left on Jiang Tian? Do you know how painful it is for him to be wrapped up in things that he shouldn't suffer at all? Do you know how long it took him to wrestle from those things
And you just arbitrarily and baselessly attribute all the problems to him, as if he was born that way.
As if he wouldn't be sad at all.
"I chased it." Sheng Wang said, "I like it. I opened my mouth first. I tried my best to hook him. I also smashed myself into Class B because he didn't respond, and because I wanted to stay with him. After a long time, I tried my best to take the test, can't you see how happy I am when I usually go around him?"
Sheng Mingyang's face was extremely ugly, and every time Sheng Wang said a word, his expression became a little embarrassed. As if the person who was exposed to the public was him.
He frowned, and finally found a gap and interrupted: "Don't say that!"
Sheng Wang stopped talking, his face was equally ugly. After a while, he said awkwardly: "You asked, you asked me to tell the truth."
"Dad knows you're not that kind of person, you don't have those problems."
"You don't know." Sheng Wang said, "You don't know, I know it best. I like my brother, I'm gay."
Sheng Mingyang is still trying to reason: "I know your words are a bit rebellious now, purely to anger me—"
"I didn't." Sheng Wang lowered his eyes, "I didn't want to be angry with you, I was happy and sad at the same time. It's been a long time."
There was dead silence in the car, and Sheng Mingyang was like being slapped. When Sheng Wang said this, he knew that everything he had just said was just trying to find a reason. He just didn't want to admit that his son had become like this.
Sheng Wang sat with his eyes lowered, his dad's fingers clutching the shifter in the corner of his eye, his ring and little fingers twitched slightly, like uncontrollable trembling. If there was something at hand, if he was alone, it might have been smashed.
But he just clenched it for a while, and said coldly, "Break it."
Sheng Wang raised his eyes.
"You don't have to go back to school. I'll call Lao Xu later." Sheng Mingyang said, "I'll arrange a transfer for you."
"I won't turn." Sheng Wang said.
"Either you go or he goes!" Sheng Mingyang finally did not suppress the fire and roared. After shouting, he started the car with trembling fingers, and said without raising his eyes, "I have a way, you can choose one yourself."
The car sped straight out, Sheng Wang seemed to be pressed to death on the back of the seat, and then released abruptly after a while. He felt powerless and nauseated in the constant rush to stop.
He still remembered the joke he made to make people happy on Jiang Tian's birthday, but he didn't expect it to be a prophecy.
"Dad, do you know that the college entrance examination is coming soon?" He closed his eyes in the dizziness, and gritted his teeth tightly. After forbearing for a moment, he continued: "Have you ever thought about the impact of transferring schools now? Have you thought about these every time you go through those procedures? Have you thought that I might not be able to catch up? Have you thought about the possibility that I might not be able to catch up? Can you really get used to it once, and then plummet?"
"Have you thought about it yourself?" Sheng Mingyang was expressionless, "If you think a little more, you won't be able to do such absurd things."
"I don't find it ridiculous."
"You really don't think so? Why don't you think it's absurd, why are you afraid of being found out? You don't think it's absurd, why are you happy and sad at the same time? Why are you sad? Shouldn't you be justified?"
Sheng Wang was speechless. He wanted to say that was not the case, but at that moment he suddenly couldn't find the words to refute. It's as if people walk in the dark for a long time, and even they can't figure out the way.
Sheng Mingyang didn't even look at him, "Go tell everyone now that you are with your own brother, and see how others react!"
He was so angry that he was almost speechless, and after he finished speaking, he closed his eyes. The body trembled, but Sheng Wang was not shocked, but his chest was cold.
I don't know how long it took before he stubbornly said, "I keep going."
Sheng Mingyang held the steering wheel silently, nodded after a long time and said, "Don't tell me that."
Who do you tell? Sheng Wang was at a loss for a moment.
The car whizzed through the bend in the mountains and into the suburban cemetery. It was not too soon or too late. The whole cemetery fell into desertedness and silence. The white marble statue was thickly frosted, and the heart was numb.
Sheng Wang was dragged into the pale building, through the rows of equally pale photos, and stopped in front of one of them.
Sheng Mingyang dragged him, pointed at the smiling person in the photo, and said tiredly after a long pause: "Tell your mother, come, Wangzi. You look at her and say, you want to be with your brother, you gay, say!"
Jiang Tian ran to the end of No. 3 Road, went out along the west gate of the school, and stopped at the place where Sheng Mingyang parked, where people had already stopped.
He turned around in place and hurried to the outside of the Wutong.
Old Man Ding and Dumb were picking vegetables in the house. One could only gesture, but the other couldn't understand them, so they could only sit in silence.
The old man was bored at home for a holiday, thinking about Jiang Ou Ji Huanyu all night long. That's how people are when they're old, and they worry about it all the time. He sometimes wakes up in the middle of the night, sometimes he can't fall asleep at all. Maybe it's too cold, and people have become dull and dull.
So that when Jiang Tian appeared at the door, he didn't react for a few seconds. After a long time, he made an "oh" and said with bright eyes, "Xiao Tian? Isn't school starting today?"
Jiang Tian gasped against the door frame, and said "um". It was only then that he touched his pocket and realized that he went to the meeting in the auditorium without a schoolbag, and his mobile phone was still hidden in the bag.
"Why are you running in such a hurry?" The old man turned around.
Jiang Tian lowered his head, he gritted his teeth, and then swallowed the sour feeling. Ask the old man, "Has Sheng Wang been here?"
"No ah."
As expected.
Jiang Tian nodded, but his movements were jerky and difficult. He borrowed the mobile phone from the old man and called Sheng Wang.
The phone rang a few times and was picked up, and his heart came alive in an instant, but before he could speak, he heard Gao Tianyang say over there, "Brother Tim..."
His heart hit the ground again.
"Brother Sheng's schoolbag is in the classroom." Gao Tianyang whispered.
Jiang Tian hung up the phone, found Sheng Mingyang in the old man's call log, and dialed again, but the other party was turned off.
He called a car and rushed back to the white horse alley, but the house was empty. Aunt Sun cleaned it before she left, and the smell of detergent lingered in the whole house. Because of the dampness, it was so empty that it made people chill.
He looked everywhere he could, but found nothing. In the end, with little hope, he ran to the rental house at the north gate of the Affiliated Middle School that he had never lived in for a day.
It was deserted inside, he knew no one was there, and he didn't bring the key. But he stood there and couldn't help knocking on the door. As if knocking a few more times, someone would open the door from the inside to welcome him in.
Because he remembered that someone said that he would not be locked out.
But he knocked for a long time and no one came.
He has been used to playing the role of an adult since he was a child, taking care of old man Ding, taking care of Jiang Ou, and taking care of himself. He carried everything he could and couldn't carry on his back. Although he was very tired, he always felt that he could bear it.
So that sometimes there is an illusion, as if he is not afraid of anything, can afford everything, and he is omnipotent.
But when he was 18 years old and really entered adulthood, he realized that there were too many things he couldn't take care of. He is like a poor bricklayer, tearing down the east wall to make up the west wall, but he is too stretched to take care of the left and right. In the end, he couldn't even do the simplest thing to stand with Sheng Wang.
He also realized that the connection between him and Sheng Wang was dense, but it was as thin as a hair, and it was all in the hands of others.
The city is so big, people come and go, and the faces around him are blurred. No matter how he runs, he can't find the one he wants to see.