Yi Ran also smiled helplessly: "He always likes to attribute all his mistakes to himself, I know...Xiao Zhao, you should go back and rest."
Gu Tingchuan likes to work for a long time without restraint, and he is always paranoid about some things. He is introverted and autistic, and he is irritable when dealing with work, so he is even more unwilling to let her share anything.
Yiran absently looked at the lifeless and empty living room, thinking that several weekends ago, she could see him having breakfast here, chatting with her, and then deal with the work that was delayed all night.
But now that Gu Tingchuan has returned to his studio, she sees the iron-like brown door, like a place where he is isolated from the world. This fortress has been unbreakable for so many years, and no one has the courage to open it.
The weather outside the house is always cloudy and cloudy. Some weather forecasts say that there may be light snow in the next few days, and dark clouds roll in from the north, whistling and covering the whole city.
Not long after, heavy snow fell down, and the outside became a snow-covered garden. The vehicles parked outside were covered with a thick layer of frost and snow. It seemed that the whole world was asleep.
In the evening, Yiran still insisted on delivering food to Gu Tingchuan. She took a breath and knocked on the door. Although she didn't get a response, she tried to turn the doorknob, but luckily she was able to open the door.
In fact, she had entered this studio a few times before, but she had never observed it carefully. Right now, there was a strong smell of coffee in the room. Their bedrooms are also spacious.
Gu Tingchuan was standing by a long table, with messy things piled up at his feet, and there was a wall-projection TV on the left wall, which could be used for video conferences.
Yiran didn't have time to look more, her attention was focused on this man, fortunately he didn't look at her indifferently, nor did he drive her out, but he still remained silent.
Yiran tried to communicate with him, and advised him with a worried tone: "You have never slept well, don't drink too much coffee, it hurts your stomach."
"I see, it's okay."
Gu Tingchuan had said the same thing to her several times, but his eyes were always lingering on the playing movie, or on the books and documents in his hand.
She put down the dinner plate and tried to talk to him about some recent events: "By the way, isn't my friend a doctor at the spiritual center? She praised you for being extremely precise in grasping the spirit and psychology of characters."
Gu Tingchuan didn't look back, only a voice smiled: "Really."
"I made a new snack, it's a soufflé with hell level difficulty, do you want to eat it?"
He just nodded: "Okay, just leave it when you're done."
No matter what she said again, the topic was often simply ended by him.
Yiran sighed, turned around and walked slowly towards the door. The moment she looked up, she saw white snowflakes drifting outside the window, gently rippling in half-space like catkins. Ripples, very nice.
She was stunned for a moment.
City S hasn't had such a heavy snowfall for many years, the sky is dark and heavy, the branches outside are creaked by the strong wind, and the snow is about to come.
How much she wanted to enjoy the snow, drink tea, and read books with him.
Just looking at the current state, it seems impossible.
…
The entire huge studio is now like a "perpetual motion machine", which does not stop for a moment, and Gu Tingchuan spreads more and more things on the carpet.
In the middle of the night, Yiran felt that the man had returned to their bed to rest, but after lying down for a while, he couldn't sleep again and kept tossing and turning.
She thought about whether to have a few words with him, but before she could speak, he got out of bed and went out again.
Gu Tingchuan's appetite also became less, even if Yiran sent food, when he went in to clean it up, he didn't move much at all.
He drank a lot of coffee to refresh himself, and she saw him standing in front of the screen from time to time, watching the same movies over and over again...
It has been like this for many days, and Yiran can no longer bear this dull atmosphere. The next day, she stepped into the studio and shouted in a low voice: "Gu Tingchuan!"
She was really angry that he tossed herself like this.
Yiran's character is actually not that forbearing and generous, but because of his admiration and admiration for him, he suppressed his temper unknowingly.
"I've been telling you, I hope you can tell me, your work, your thoughts, anything is fine. But you never seem to take it to heart. Is it really so difficult for us to communicate?"
Gu Tingchuan seemed to have recovered from his chaotic thoughts, he looked down at the white paper that had been deleted countless times with a pen in front of him, and said absently: "No, don't worry about me, I just have a lot of things to deal with. "
He is too bad at communicating with others like this, and he has a cold temper. In addition, the two got married under unfamiliar circumstances. Such difficulties and obstacles are like time bombs in their marriage. Now... finally... It exploded.
"You're not working, you're hurting yourself and consuming your health!" She almost answered with gritted teeth.
Gu Tingchuan rubbed the space between his brows, and replied casually: "You should be aware of what happened these days. I need some time to think about my future plans..."
"You can consider it, but, do you know that the directors of those bad movies have already been dumped dozens of times by you!"
Yiran knew that he was unwilling to talk, so she simply said more, and said quickly: "Why do you force yourself like this, I know that the Gu family counts on you, and I know that so many movie fans love you, so what? ? If you fail or something, just start over from the beginning? You are 'Gu Tingchuan', so why don't you allow an ordinary trip? Who made the rules?"
She took a deep breath and didn't finish her sentence: "Also, is it such an embarrassing thing for you to tell others what is in your heart? Let me tell you the truth, I have already read "The Way Back". I can also tell you what I don't like. One of your protagonists died, and the other is worse than death. Almost everyone in the film runs counter to their original intentions! Gu Tingchuan, do you dare to face up to your own problems? It is said that this film of yours is too ineffective for people to live, wouldn't it be good if you change it?"
Gu Tingchuan looked down at the table, but didn't see Yiran's reddish eye circles. He looked forbearing, and said flatly: "I can't think of what else to shoot next."
Yiran was slightly taken aback, she suddenly felt that he was a little strange in front of her, as if he had lost a layer of brilliance in the past, only a pair of eyes as black as ink.
"I don't want to worry about the 'failures' that have passed." He said silently, sitting on the chair, still not looking up: "But I never felt this way, I lost my 'inspiration'."
That is the worst nightmare for a creator.
The studio was so dull that it was almost suffocating, and the cold weather only made the surrounding temperature more painful. Yiran heard his voice was similar to a sigh: "So, I can only find a way by myself."
What he meant was already obvious, and she couldn't do anything for him, nor could she make him stop.
"But, why don't you try to make some changes, your life is different from the past..."
Gu Tingchuan shook his head. This action has many meanings. It can be explained that he doesn’t want to change, or that he can’t do anything, or even that he can’t help…
It was only then that Yiran felt... So she was really not needed. From the beginning to the end, they were just "husband and wife", but not a husband and wife relationship that could be shared by each other.
Her fiery heart was half extinguished, as if being poured from head to toe by a basin of cold water, she was stunned for a while with cold hands and feet, and then she calmed down and said, "Oh, then you can keep busy, I understand."
Gu Tingchuan realized something, but when he looked back, he only saw her thin and soft back. He seemed to be deeply touched by some emotion in his heart. He was very unaccustomed to it, but he also wanted to accept it. He opened his lips slightly, and was about to speak out. By then... She had already closed the door forcefully.
The moment Yiran walked out of the studio, she already felt powerless. She sat on the floor limply, helpless and distressed, but what to do, you can't pry open a person's heart.
As much as you want to tell him—
Gu Tingchuan, can you talk to me? It doesn't matter what.
Gu Tingchuan, as long as you can open your heart, you will know that I am here. Even if you cannot change the situation of losing inspiration, at least it will make you feel better.
She lowered her head, and tears suddenly rolled down like strings of pearls.
The person in her heart is so lofty, no matter how hard you try to catch up, you will never be able to catch up with him.
And how does an ordinary elementary school teacher know how many burdens are accumulated in the heart of a "genius".
Yiran felt that her mood at this moment was darker than the sky outside the house, as if all the undercurrents accumulated in these days finally couldn't hold on at this moment, engulfing her whole body, unable to control herself.
She wiped away her tears with the back of her hand, thinking about how else she could help him.
I also want to be happy because of this, so that maybe it can help Gu Tingchuan get out of the predicament... But no matter what, she can no longer laugh, and this situation makes her even more worried.
Perhaps, it is necessary to adjust the state, otherwise the two will only drag each other down slowly into the mud, and finally suffocate together.
…
Early in the morning when the heavy snow was suspended, Yiran entered the kitchen. She also stayed up almost all night, and now she was quite familiar with making coffee and omelets. Soon, the fragrance floated in the room with a moderate temperature.
While looking at the snow falling outside the window, Yiran saw Gu Tingchuan coming out of the studio from the corner of his eye. His complexion was unhealthy white, probably because he hadn't slept much, and he was soft but untouchable.
Her face is pale, but in fact, deep down, she doesn't know that she is not so insignificant in Gu Tingchuan's heart, he just hasn't gotten used to it yet.
"I have a few words to say to you."
Gu Tingchuan let out a "hmm", then raised his eyes and stared at her.