childhood
Karenin's day begins with a passage from the Bible.
The man with dark blond hair hadn't been so serious and dull from birth.
When Karenin was still very young and his parents were still alive, although he was not as lively as his peers, he still had this kind of cuteness unique to children. It's just that this gentleman can be classified as a more introverted and sensitive type since he was a child.
Karenin's father, Karenin the Elder, was the traditional patriarch of a large family. He had the typical tall stature of the family, and was unusually short of the stout limbs and neck of a Russian official.
Old Karenin has an old-fashioned personality, but occasionally he is a bit mean and playful. He likes simplicity, and he likes everything that people in the circle like, as well as things that the circle hates, but sometimes, this old-fashioned gentleman will also have a little tender heart, which is not for him. The good-natured lady, but to his eldest son.
As the eldest son of this big family, Matvey is undoubtedly extremely qualified.
His birth itself was a kind of merit, and the ancient and natural form of genetic combination made the two couples who were together due to family marriage become much closer.
The boundaries of children's education in this family are very clear, and it was doomed as early as Matvey could not speak. But what makes life interesting is that it likes to break the rules.
As Matvey grew up, this smart, kind and humorous child made old Karenin gradually play the role of father in a decent way.
He gave Matvey a purebred colt when he was old enough and after that he gave away all kinds of things like shotguns, all kinds of fun and manly things he brought back from abroad . Karenin's elder brother Matvey was greatly favored until his death.
These things were not told to Karenin on purpose, nor did he ask them out of curiosity. In fact, there is no need to ask at all. The home, the brother's bedroom, and the study room, which was listed as a forbidden place by the father not to be easily entered, all the decorations and traces of these places show the fact that Matvey is favored.
Since the eldest son has completely occupied the heart of the somewhat rigid father, there is not much room for the subsequent children to occupy.
If being a daughter still has the advantage of being rare and well-behaved, then as the second son, Karenin's birth is just like an ordinary time.
Of the three children, the last two look more like their fathers, but the latter prefers the eldest son who doesn't look like him the most. Even, in terms of personality, the youngest son, Karenin, has inherited his father's appearance even more, while the elder son's excessive intelligence and optimism seem to be his own. But the word love has never had any specific conditions.
The old Mr. Karenin's approach is not worthy of praise. If his eccentricity is in any ordinary novel, the youngest son who is the protagonist is likely to grow into some kind of surly adult. Under the mature appearance, there is still a rebellious heart that has not been tempered and strong with time.
But fortunately, Karenin is that small percentage of the odds. The reason is probably due to most of the credit of his brother Matvey.
In that era, such a favored child in a family was most likely to become a slut in some noble gangs, relying on his father's relationship to enter the yamen, drifting with the crowd with his salary, but living a carefree life.
Matvey is another special case.
He's smart without being conceited, charitable without being overly stupid. As an elder brother, Matvey's existence is more meaningful in Karenin's heart than the vague and stereotyped figure of his father.
When he was still very young, Karenin, who had a relatively reserved personality, had unconsciously started to follow in his brother's footsteps.
He is cautious and careful, observing his brother's daily life, reading his favorite books, and learning the language Matvey can use. In the eyes of outsiders, his imitation was mostly attributed to wanting to get his father's attention, and even Karenin's mother thought so.
Under the loving gaze of the latter, the little Karenin explained with a slight frown, but was interrupted by a kiss. So, without making excuses, the fact became such an established memory, so that in a conversation a long time later, Karenin could still learn from his sister Maria that the boy who seriously wanted to get his father's attention was own false facts.
That was not true, but under the reminder of all kinds of well-intentioned false memories, Karenin no longer refuted it. That's not a particularly important thing after all.
But Matvey seemed to know. The smart elder brother didn't say anything, but took as much time as possible in his busy study life to give more guidance on his younger brother's study.
Learning exchanges take up a lot of their time.
Matvey's respect and unique pampering made Karenin unaware of his own uniqueness. It was not until the death of his parents, at his uncle's house, before going to boarding school, that the elder casually reminded Karenin Lenin woke up. It turned out that some of his actions were extremely against the world.
At that time, Matvey was only seventeen years old, and he was still the favorite of the university. When a parent dies, most people are watching. After all, it has never been friendship that keeps this circle together.
Young people in college are no longer so innocent. If it is said that socializing before adulthood is based on the eyes of their parents, then in this place, it is the beginning of the beagles to start hunting independently. In this circle, they sniff lightly with their noses, look with their eyes, touch with their forelimbs, and divide themselves with their tails. The turbulent waves in it are no less than the domineering swords in the political arena in the future. And all of this, Karenin didn't fully understand it until he entered university.
When I lost my parents at the age of twelve, grief was an instinctive reaction. But after that, life can go on as usual.
At the age of twenty, Karenin finally understood the meaning of Matvey to him when he received the sad news of his brother's death.
That is not only the friendship between brothers, but also a rare and precious friendship. When reading those letters, Karenin felt deeply touched by every word of his brother. It was also at that time that Karenin really understood why his father loved his son so much.
In those last days, too, there was no complaint in Matvey's letters, almost imperceptible. His attitude towards disease is open-minded, no one loves life more than him, and no one is more open-minded about life and death than him. This is what Karenin will never learn.
In this family, it is not Matvey or Maria who has the most compassion, but Karenin, who is the most restrained on the surface.
Karenin was a person who never saw other people's tears since he was a child. Of course he hadn't had the chance to see it before, but since he started boarding school, he's seen more tears.
The tears of the boys who were bullied, the tears of the girls who were sad and frustrated, until he stepped into politics, the sad and sad faces of those poor people. At that time Karenin began to make up his mind that he must at least do something.
"Just be yourself, Alexey," Matvey once said to ten-year-old Karenin.
At that time, Karenin was questioning his brother about an accident he had seen by chance.
Children in ordinary families would look for answers from their father or mother, but Karenin was used to figuring out the answers by himself, and he seldom asked his family members. For these rare inquiries, Karenin did not go to his father. In his immature mind, he had already found a mentor for himself by relying on some natural perception.
From a father's point of view, this distrust seems sad. But even if these things were told to old Mr. Karenin, I am afraid he would not care.
Fortunately, Karenin had at least one older brother.
If the other side of light can only be shadows, then Matvey should be the light that people like, and Karenin, as the youngest son, can only be a shadow of aggrieved.
But in fact, Karenin did not feel this way.
This good environment is due to the noble qualities of the man Matvey. Even if he is not a doting brother and sister, he is, as he said at the beginning, a pure and noble person, and very intelligent.
The time spent with his parents was short and estranged, the time spent with his elder brother was calm and restrained, and the lack of attention due to his parents' personality during his childhood made Karenin not very aware of how to be a father. The premature death of his brother in his youth prevented Karenin from learning the most demanding tact in politics.
If anyone was in Karenin's position, most likely he would not be able to achieve the achievements he has today.
juvenile
For Karenin, his youth was not very memorable.
During the years Matvey was still alive, they did not live together. His older sister, Maria, who is a few years older than him, lives in his uncle's house.
That Karenin did not inherit the family's lanky gene. He is of medium height, with a long face and a decent mustache. He likes to smoke and drink.
Like most younger sons, Karenin's uncle had a rambunctious youth. Like most noble children, he followed the tradition and married a well-matched wife.
There is nothing special about such a person. When you are young, your appearance is not too outstanding, and your appearance is not too bad. When you are old, your life is mediocre. There was once an only son who died before he was five years old. There were also mistresses, but no more children.
After Karenin's father died, whether it was out of sympathy or some kind of family responsibility, it was only natural that they should be taken over to take care of them.
Karenin's older sister, a woman as docile as her mother, plucked up the courage rarely at that time, took Karenin's hand, and asked him softly if he must go to his uncle's house to live.
It was the first time that Karenin, a twelve-year-old ignorant boy, began to feel the weight of responsibility.
As a man, both mother and sister should be protected. But he couldn't do it when he was young. It's not that he didn't think about asking his brother Matvey, but he dismissed the idea in a flash.
Accepting the arrangement, regardless of their financial situation or future, it is more appropriate to go to an uncle to receive a stable education than to live with an elder brother who has been abroad all year round.
"Uncle will make arrangements." Karenin told Maria, the girl with the same eyes as him could only smile sadly in the end.
"Ah, yes, that's the best way."
Karenin's lips moved. He knew that he should give more reasons to comfort Maria, or himself, but in the end, he could only hold the eldest sister's hand, but he didn't know whether to use more force. .
When he finally packed up and was about to leave the house, Karenin looked at the furniture covered with white cotton cloth, and suddenly felt a little empty in his heart.
At that moment, he was almost a little surprised, after all, he didn't care much about this place before.
Home can only be regarded as a traditional concept for Karenin.
He didn't feel much warmth at home like a poor child. Even, the milk in childhood is not sucked from the mother's breast.
But at that moment, in Karenin's blue pupils, there were indeed complicated emotions surging.
He couldn't help touching his father's desk with his fingers. The top-quality mahogany wood tabletops were smooth and straight, and had withstood the weight of his father's elbows. There was a backlog of documents, and even one place was burned by soot. Some paint marks are missing.
All of this seemed to form a huge vortex in Karenin's heart, so that he finally confirmed a fact that he had chewed dozens of times—he had to leave, they had to leave.
"That's right, only when you leave will you start to miss it." Matvey said.
At that time, he had already left his childishness prematurely, with a slender body and a handsome face. He combined the advantages of both parents and had his own temperament.
This temperament is charming, but not too overwhelming, so that Matvey's reputation has remained high since he first entered the political circle.
"En." Karenin softly agreed with his brother's words.
"Come on, don't keep uncle waiting," said Matvey.
Now he doesn't hold Karenin's hand gently like before, but treats his brother who is several years younger than him like an adult.
His respect and restraint comforted Karenin. As a result, after Karenin looked at the tall figure of the other party, the sadness of the other party disappeared a lot.
My uncle's house is spacious and quiet.
Aunt is not a kind person. If this woman still had a reserved indifference when she was young, after the death of her only son, the breath of life was severely stripped from her face.
She never cared about her uncle's lovers, and she never said a word of harshness until she died. And Karenin's uncle, a man who actually had an absolute advantage in that era, did not marry a mistress after his wife passed away as everyone guessed. In his short forty-seven years of life, he lived by himself for nearly ten years.
Some good people guessed that Karenin's uncle loved his wife so much that he insisted not to marry her after her death, and some people said that he just didn't want to make some women cheaper. Karenin once also thought that it was of no value to discuss whether his uncle loved his aunt or not. Maybe, maybe not. For a long time, he also used the words "If you want to talk about love, you don't have much love" to evaluate this matter. It wasn't until later that he began to really think about it.
It was a winter evening, the fifth year after my aunt died.
Uncle Karenin's health was not that good. At that time, Karenin had just entered the department not long ago, and he was being made things difficult and excluded. Compared with him later, he was more silent.
Young faces, the scent of tea, a warm fireplace, and a middle-aged man lying in a rocking chair.
The house was too quiet, and it had been even more so since Maria's marriage.
Karenin had not yet moved out of the house, but not far away.
"I dreamed about your aunt just now." Karenin's uncle said, opening his eyes that were no longer sharp.
Karenin generally would not answer the call at such a time. Years of training had made him more cautious. Although there is also a youthful impulse lurking in his heart, his rational restraint is also becoming stronger year by year.
"It's not a very good dream. She didn't even give me a smile. It's just some trivial things. It seems to have happened, and it seems to be in my own imagination. Who knows." Karenin's uncle said slowly, even There is a smile on the corner of the mouth.
That smile was so tender that in Karenin's brain, which was always filled with busy work, until a long, long time later, a place was reserved for this smile.
For a long time after that, Karenin's uncle never mentioned his wife again.
Just when everyone was about to forget, one day, the uncle who was lying on the bed suddenly developed hysteria and started chanting his wife's name.
He seemed to be back when he was newly married, calling his wife's pet name affectionately, took his wife's dressing gown, laid it beside his bed, and then kept talking, until the next morning when he woke up, Everything seems to have never happened.
This is a secret. At least, under Karenin's control, no one in Petersburg has talked about this topic so far.
Those parties who knew about it were sent away by Karenin, and after their desires were satisfied and appropriate threats were made, everyone talked about this matter again.
Karenin saved his uncle's face and the family's image in the circle with the mind and means that a young man shouldn't have, but at the same time, a question inevitably broke into his heart.
This question can be said to be the longest accumulated question.
At that time, there was no one who could answer Karenin's confusion.
After Matvey's death, Karenin's inner world became more closed. Under the education of his uncle, he put on a political mask and became more disciplined. The curiosity and innocence that I once had became more and more weak in the baptism of the years, and finally disappeared like that. On an unknown day, Karenin began to have the habit of reading a passage of the Bible first thing in the morning.
youth
The words in the Bible guide people to be good, to be loyal, not to be jealous, not to doubt.
Most people think that they know Karenin's favorite books on politics and theology, and they think they know everything about him. Either lament his compassion and love, or secretly ridicule his hypocrisy.
But Karenin's study of theology was never to really become that kind of person.
The source of his habit is no longer remembered, but in many practices, Karenin found that there was nothing wrong with this habit, and he did not make any changes.
In the final analysis, Karenin was actually a natural political player.
That's not to say he's better than most. If you only consider it from the aspect of intelligence, Karenin can only enter the passing line at best, but what really makes him outstanding is precisely some indifference to human nature in his nature.
In this world, Karenin was not detached.
He doesn't have too much ideal of justice, nor does he have too much nostalgia for the enjoyment of the world of mortals. He is calm and rigid, and lives his life in a constant manner, which may seem dull to outsiders, but to himself, he always has some playful fun.
Although Karenin himself didn't think there was anything wrong, but in his position, there were always some good-for-nothing people who would think of him with one purpose or another.
Before Karenin became governor, his uncle had mentioned the matter, and it seemed that he must have a suitable marriage partner.
"At your age, before you get married, you can be promiscuous, but no matter what, marriage is not the same thing."
It was rare for Karenin's uncle to talk to him about these things that were divorced from politics, but it seemed that in the end, he would inevitably return to politics.
Karenin, who was only twenty-five years old, was not bothered by this.
Symmetrical to his naturally rigid and indifferent character, in Karenin's character, the word irritability rarely appears. Even in the fiery stage of youth, he has always maintained a certain powerful rationality.
That evening Karenin gave his uncle's proposal serious consideration for the first time.
He hadn't paid much attention to women before, although there were some in his social circle, but looking at those women from the perspective of a politician or a stakeholder is somewhat different from looking at those women from the perspective of a marriageable object .
The beauty of women is very one-sided in Karenin's view.
Face powder or painted red lips did not arouse too many changes in Karenin's mood.
As a young man, all his reactions were so common that they were even easily discussed. But in this case, Karenin was in a position where he could ignore those small noises more easily.
He used to think that work took too much of his mind, but then he thought that maybe it should be blamed more on not meeting the right person.
What is the right person
Karenin is a man, he couldn't be like a girl when he was young, and he never cared about asking people about such things with innocence.
Logically speaking, after a few years of his own marriage, Karenin should not have had any contact with this issue, but as a person with a sister, he may have dabbled in more topic areas than most people.
Karenin's older sister, Maria, was also a tall, thin woman. The facial features are very similar to their father's, but more beautiful and soft.
The prominent nose in the family has been weakened a lot on this woman's face, and her neat teeth have also brought her beauty to a higher level.
Maria gave birth to a daughter shortly after marrying her husband Luigi, and a few years later she had a son, and not long after her son Andre was born, the mother for a while It was very difficult, but luckily she managed to get through it.
"I don't even know what's wrong with me, I get so annoyed with my own baby. Sometimes I look at him, so small in my arms, like the whole world could easily hurt him, I can't help but cry all the time."
After Andrei was half a year old, Karenin took the time to go to France.
In the autumn morning light, when Maria was preparing breakfast for the whole family with the cook in the kitchen, Karenin, who got up early, heard Maria's rare exclamation.
Looking back on those days, even her eyes seemed to be covered with tears, but in the end, there was still a smile on the corner of her mouth.
It was the first time that Karenin understood something from his sister who was also more restrained. Regarding marriage, although there are various pains, there is always some pain, which is accompanied by a smile. It was at that time that Karenin had some unusual views on marriage.
This kind of view is inconsistent with most people, and if it is said, it may cause people to talk about it. But Karenin is not a person who likes to share his thoughts after all, and he has few, almost none, real close friends.
People's judgments on close friends are always general but simple.
A person, no matter what their status is, may not be for a lifetime, but if there are so many times that you can tell the things in your heart without any scruples, then you are probably a good friend.
For Karenin, such a person has hardly visited him in his twenty-odd years of life.
To be honest, Karenin was not an outlier. Maybe a little bit when he was a kid, but since he started going to boarding school, Karenin has done well in every single thing his uncle taught him.
He reads a lot, whether he's interested or not, but he knows it all and can talk to people about it. Such Karenin is somewhat likable.
If Matvey was still a good friend of Karenin before, then after Matvey's death, Karenin was really alone.
This is not uncomfortable. With a character like Karenin, it is not a big hindrance whether he has close friends or not. And this is why he has rarely had gossip over the years in politics.
Therefore, in his smooth and smooth life, one day suddenly, without the intervention of external forces, Karenin understood the truth that most people who wandered in the secular world did not understand, and then derived a set of his own concept of marriage , it has to be said to be a miracle.
marriage
Thirty-year-old Karenin was already a governor.
To be able to sit in this position at his age can be said to be a genius. But Karenin's admiration stems from his pursuit of career. He did not stagnate in this position. By the time he was thirty-two years old, Karenin had become an important high-ranking official in Petersburg.
At this position, Karenin knew that it would not be so easy to make another breakthrough in his career. At least, he had to slow down his progress.
Then, something came up again.
Karenin's colleague, or rather, a well-known lady in the circle privately told Karenin that it was time for Karenin to think about his personal life, and she could introduce him to a very suitable girl.
Karenin did not doubt the truth of the matter.
His current position could secure a good marriage for himself, and even accelerate the pace of promotions that he needed to pause.
Karenin is not a saint, he will naturally think about it. And just before he made the most appropriate decision, his sensibility, which had been deliberately suppressed, finally got a moment to breathe freely.
At the banquet that day, if the stars in the sky were already very bright gems, then, in the case of Miss Oblonsky, even the stars were easily eclipsed.
Many people think that Karenin almost never looked at women because he was preoccupied with work. But what they didn't know was that, in fact, Karenin had never been attracted to any woman.
He was not the one who spotted Miss Oblonsky in the crowd at first glance, and Karenin even looked over at the envious voices of Karenin's colleagues.
Then he saw the lady.
Her slender figure, soft shoulders, plump shoulders. The delicate skin is like the best suet, and her lips are as soft and plump as rose flowers, and those eyes, a very rare gray color, are full of vigor and vitality under the cover of thick eyelashes .
"Very beautiful woman."
This was Karenin's first image of Miss Oblonsky, but that was all.
In the next few hours of drinking wine, Karenin did not talk to the other party until after a dance, he happened to catch a glimpse of the lady looking at him.
"Is it an illusion?"
There was a trace of doubt in Karenin's heart, and he even glanced to the side without showing it very much, so as not to make himself suspicious.
When he looked over again, he found that those eyes had left him and looked towards the dance floor.
The small mouth was slightly raised, and her brother was whispering affectionately to her.
A trace of embarrassment floated in Karenin's heart.
During the time that followed, Karenin made sure that Miss Oblonsky had no intention of talking to him. So, later, when he was sitting alone near the secluded round table, when the person who came over with a small satin handbag smiled at him, Karenin almost wondered if he had hysteria.
The word "marriage" was transmitted from the middle of those small lips through the medium of sound, and when it lightly landed on Karenin's eardrum, it became like a drum, making a thunderous sound, so that For a few seconds, Karenin's brilliant brain thought nothing of it.
But Karenin was Karenin after all, after a brief absence, he regained his composure in an instant.
Superimposing questions on top of questions is not a good way to ask, but it can put yourself in a controllable position just right. If you really can't answer the previous question skillfully, then this approach is extremely feasible.
Karenin knew that the other party hadn't noticed this, but he himself seemed a little convinced by Miss Oblonsky's cheerful and nonchalant explanation.
He listened to the talk of this young lady who was out of tune with the surrounding environment, talking eloquently about the reasons why they were suitable for marriage, and he didn't even mind writing it down to leave eternal evidence.
After seeing those beautiful handwriting, after being novel, Karenin had a decision in his heart.
He looked at the expectant eyes of the young lady, and her fingers twisted unconsciously because of nervousness. The question that had puzzled him for a long time seemed to have suddenly found a hole in the troubled tangled thread, so he kept on Karenin, who believed that action should be placed before rules in politics, added this keen intuition to his emotions for the first time.
"I will agree to your proposal."
Agreeing to be married is not an end, nor a relief.
After returning, more troubles appeared suddenly from the dissipating fog.
In the eyes of outsiders, Karenin has not changed much.
When he stood up, he smoothed the hem of his clothes as usual. When walking, his steps are steady and his face is calm.
His actions in handling official affairs are still meticulous, and the speed of reviewing official documents has not slowed down.
Receive visitors, check accounts.
Everything seemed different, except, in the evening, the butts of cigarettes that were snuffed out in fine-thread ashtrays.
"It's not like me." Karenin thought while sitting in the chair in the study, his hands folded, his eyes focused, and thoughts flying in his brain.
As if struggling at the end, Karenin even got up from the chair suddenly, but when he was about to lift his feet or sit down again, he hesitated again, and finally chose to sit down.
"I have to think of something to convince myself to be calm." Carlie thought quietly, these thoughts almost didn't need to be thought about, and it had become his instinctive reaction to comfort himself over the years.
He inspected his study room, glanced over the shelves full of books, then checked his desktop, and finally, as if thinking of something, Karenin couldn't help but also wanted to complain about his slow thinking.
He took out the paper and stared at it for a long time.
After a long time, Karenin exhaled softly.
His fingers smoothed the paper meticulously, as if treating some living object.
As the paper became smoother and more tidy, Karenin's thoughts also seemed to be ironed, becoming more appropriate and stable.
For the marriage he chose, this gentleman, who had never been blindly optimistic, couldn't help feeling a little bit hopeful.
love
The beginning of this marriage was never for love.
Karenin was naturally envious of his wife's appearance, but more because of her mood, smile and thoughtfulness.
Too many details make up the appearance of love, so that before Karenin found out, these emotions have been hidden in the bits and pieces of his life.
Before the age of thirty-two, Karenin had never considered love in his life.
He had thought about marriage, but because of the wrong timing, the wrong person, he never had it at that time.
But now, after he found a marriage for himself, after he thought the matter was over, he discovered that marriage was never an end, but a beginning of another.
For most people, marriage is a trivial matter of daily necessities, rice, oil, salt, soy sauce, vinegar and tea. Marriages that combine love or interests will gradually wear down some edges and passions over the years. In Karenin’s view, this marriage As far as he is concerned, it has gained a lot.
Women yearn for love, but any woman who is not too stupid has long understood the reality of marriage. So they compromise, let the interests lead them to another man.
Some people are used to compromise, so they become those ordinary and poor women, some people learn to treat themselves better in marriage, so they become those women who wander in the circle.
Women were never included in Karenin's studies.
And after he got married, this list seemed to have suddenly received some kind of mission. Regardless of Karenin's rational persuasion, he proudly occupied the first position. Most of the time, it looks like a thing with its small head held high, proudly shouting "Look at me, look at me".
Karenin pursed his lips and turned his face cold, but as soon as he touched his wife's eyes, all the indifference and arrogance melted into bubbles.
Marriage is not supposed to be like this.
Too happy, too illusory, as if there is some kind of miracle every day.
Karenin looked at the encroached study room, watched another person's life trajectory gradually appear in this house, looked at his own thoughts, and sometimes even began to miss another voice uncontrollably.
It's frightening, uncontrollable, but gratifying.
After the initial bewilderment, after Anna's soft talk, and the calming effect of those kisses, Karenin began to get used to the change in marriage.
Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's uncomfortable, but all in all, he's getting used to it.
If Karenin was given a test question about love, this talented student might not be able to get a high score. After all, the emotional field has never been his specialty.
But if the question maker is patient and willing to slightly change the test questions, such as "Reminiscing the Details of Marriage", and answer the paper seriously and honestly, then most of the teachers who wrote the test paper will be satisfied with Karenin's patient and honest answer. There is no way not to give him a high score.
Such a man is used to being silent, but under the stern appearance, he maintains a unique and arrogant view of marriage and love in his heart.
If he met any other woman, no one would notice this preciousness in his whole life.
But so fortunately, before Karenin realized it, his pride and his suppressed sensibility finally had a chance to be proud of it, and at the most appropriate time, he found a man for its owner. Best for his wife.
A long time later, when Karenin began to lie in a rocking chair and get heavy pajamas like his uncle, he still couldn't directly express the true meaning of love.
In his life, reason still dominates most of the time, and every emotional haunt is extremely rare.
But that's okay.
In his life, he has been happier than most people.
Winter in Russia is still so cold, especially at night, and the books placed on the lap have a weight that cannot be ignored.
Karenin suddenly called his wife's name while he was half asleep, and then got a response.
That hand was no longer young, but it was still smaller than his.
Put it in his palm, just like the wedding day, full of trust forever.
Now Karenin no longer needs to look for any emotion in his wife's eyes. With just such a simple action, he can fall into a peaceful sleep again.
He thought: This is marriage.
But the corners of his slightly raised mouth clearly indicated that he had been bathed in love all his life and had never stopped being soothed by the light of love. Although he never thought about it deeply, life has already found the answer for him.
Marriage: A Story of Staying Up All Night
It is already one o'clock in the morning.
Karenin rarely worked that late, which was the norm when he was younger. But later, I don't know when he started to pay attention to his health.
Maybe it's because he has seen too many births, old ages, illnesses and deaths, so he sighs in his heart, maybe it's because he understands that a weak body cannot support him to make any political changes.
But despite this, Karenin still had to choose to stay up late if necessary.
He always has a lot of official documents that need to be reviewed. Compared with many colleagues who take the action of backlogging or handing over to the secretary, Karenin, an official, definitely likes to do it himself. He once had a record of processing 180 official documents in one day.
This is not a kind of showing off or anything, but, when people often talk about it, the number of words that remain in Karenin's mind represents his limit.
Limits can be broken, as long as there is a need.
But then he never had the need, so the records were not updated.
After thinking about these things casually in his mind and relaxing, Karenin raised his hand to touch his teacup. He was almost used to cold tea, but today when he raised his hand and hadn't moved to a certain distance, warm The touch made him subconsciously turn his head and look over.
"Forget that I'm with you?" the wife said, a little tired, but her brows and eyes still maintained gentleness and a certain degree of vitality.
For a moment, Karenin was stunned.
From a very early age Karenin was used to being alone.
In the past thirty years, he has tasted the evening breeze of too much time, and he has also become numb to the taste of silence.
In this life, he never felt that there was anything wrong.
But at this moment, his wife's tired smiling face made Karenin's heart tremble.
He couldn't even speak for a moment, he could only stare blankly at the other party.
"Don't you want to drink water?" The wife said, like treating an older child, she gently put the water glass in his hand, and then looked at him, like a mother encouraging a child, a look of anticipation crawled into the corners of her eyes tip of brow.
Karenin straightened his mind, he did not drink the tea immediately, but opened his mouth to speak, only to realize that after a long time of not speaking, his voice would be a little hoarse.
"Why don't you go to bed?"
"I fell asleep."
Anna pointed to the sofa, then moved her finger, and then cutely pointed to the neatly folded blanket.
"I even folded the quilt, you are so fascinated by it." She said coquettishly.
Karenin was not used to such answers.
After a question, there are more words, and sometimes, even little important information. But now, he seems to be used to it.
"It's time for you to go to bed, Ana," he said, taking a sip of water at last.
When the tea reaches the throat, the warm black tea smell spreads from the taste buds, refreshing the tired spirit.
"I am not sleepy… "
While talking about not being sleepy, he yawned.
"Lie." Karenin rationally gave a concise answer, but he didn't say it, and he didn't even use that very strong argument to make the other party implement his decision.
"You should be asleep, don't stay with me."
The careful and considerate did not bring about obedient acceptance, and this time there was no language at all.
Anna shook her head, her chin resting on her arm, still looking a little teary-eyed.
"I've calculated, it should only be an hour." She muttered to herself as she spoke, and before Karenin could say anything, Anna stood up and patted her face.
"I said I would accompany you, but you can't persuade me." She told him seriously that she decided to carry out such a decision willfully, she had already made her decision, and there was no need to change it.
Karenin knew that he should frown and come up with more arguments to refute and achieve his goal. He had already instinctively reacted in his brain, but when the words came to his lips, he couldn't say them out for a long time, because, The person opposite told her so happily and shyly.
"Although I know you are right, there should be one time when you stay up late, a wife should accompany her husband's memory!"
Anna's words were so reasonable, her shy eyes revealed pleading, and her slender fingers tugged at Karenin's sleeves, like some kind of pet who wanted to get sugar balls, which made it impossible to refuse.
As a result, those words of rejection rolled around Karenin's throat a few times before being swallowed into his stomach.
"All right."
Therefore, such indulgent words almost made the rational side feel ashamed, but under the light, sometimes when he looked up and saw his wife's serious expression, the warm smile could not be stopped no matter what.
In this long night, warmth was an emotion that could not dissipate in Karenin's heart for a long time. Like the fireflies in summer, the gentleness makes people smile involuntarily.
An hour actually passed quickly, especially when Karenin was immersed in official duties.
Some people say that the most difficult part of staying up late is not the second half of the night, but often the first half of the night.
When the clock struck two o'clock in the morning and Karenin finally raised his head from the pile of documents, he found that his wife was looking at him seriously with a pair of eyes.
"What's the matter?" Karenin asked, even though he was tired, the sleepiness seemed to have dissipated now.
"I seem to be hungry." The wife said, a little embarrassed, and licked her lips by the way, "How about you?"
Karenin was almost taken aback.
When he was young, he was used to staying up late, but he never had the habit of eating after work.
"Aren't you hungry?" The wife hesitated.
"If you're hungry, I'll let the cook..."
Karenin wanted to say that asking the cook to cook something for his wife, if it was him, he would not do such troublesome things again. Firstly, it is somewhat inhuman to have to wake up a sleeping person. Secondly, he has already Accustomed to this lonely journey of staying up late, even his stomach will leave him, and he will start to sleep at this time.
"Need not."
Anna interrupted Karenin's words, and then laughed: "Do you want to taste what I made?"
Although it was a question, Karenin already knew that it could not be rejected, so he nodded slightly in agreement.
The two walked towards the kitchen, and during the whole process, the thirty-two-year-old adult suddenly felt as if he had returned to his childhood, but even when he was a child, Karenin was sure that he did not have such an experience of sneaking into the kitchen in the middle of the night.
Sift flour, knead, roll out…
Karenin realized that he had no place to intervene, so he was silent.
With a bang that was not too loud, the steaming noodles were poured into the bowl.
"Hold it." His wife urged, and Karenin finally recovered from the former's flowing cooking skills, and then picked up the noodles and walked to the dining table.
"Let's eat." The wife said, smiling with crooked eyebrows, but she didn't eat, but looked at her eagerly.
"You have to taste the first bite," she explained.
Karenin stopped talking, picked up the fork, and sent the noodles to his mouth at the gesture of the other party.
It's a little hot, but the juice of the noodles is very delicious. The noodles are not cooked well, but they can still be eaten. All in all, it wasn't very tasty to be honest, but, facing his wife's expectant gaze, Karenin just said, "It's delicious," and continued eating the noodles in the bowl.
After receiving feedback from her husband, Anna also began to enjoy the noodles in her bowl.
She knows her own cooking skills, so she didn't expect to get a very good evaluation, but she was appreciated unexpectedly, so the taste can be ignored.
After eating and drinking, when Karenin looked up, he found his wife was looking at him.
"What's wrong?" Karenin asked.
"I thought you were just talking, but you really ate it all."
Anna said with a smile, stretched out the index fingers of both hands, and nodded embarrassingly in the air.
"It's delicious, so I finished it." Karenin said, after thinking for a while, he added, "You made it, Anna, even if it's not delicious, I'll finish it."
After finishing speaking, Karenin got up, took Anna's bowl by the way, and walked towards the kitchen, leaving only Anna who was a little stunned. After a while, muffled laughter sounded, and finally he buried his head in his arms and sighed secretly. .
The next day, the cook started a new day. She frowned and looked at the two bowls on the kitchen table. They were scrubbed clean, but they were placed in the wrong place, the cook muttered.
On the other side, the woman who was still sleeping on the bed showed a smiling face. The man in the dressing gown by the bedside saw this, and after a pause, he bent down slightly and placed a kiss on the woman's lips.
Just like every day, there is no special change, but time is always watching tenderly, safe and happy.
Marriage: A Sick Story
Karenin's body has always been strong, although he does not have the typical strong physique of the Russians, and even at first glance can be classified as thin, but in fact, Karenin is actually a very healthy person.
After his twenties, Karenin became more concerned about his health.
However, although no serious illness occurred, Karenin still caught a cold in the early winter of this year.
If Anna herself was often ill because she did not take care of her body, then Karenin was completely accidental.
After all, the Russian dignitary doesn't have much in the way of snowball fights and cold drinks.
But no matter what, the reason is meaningless at this moment. It was only this time that Karenin was a little confused and found that getting married didn't always mean that everything went smoothly and at ease.
Just like now, he is being forced to stay in bed at home and not even allowed to touch any official documents.
"I'm fine..." Karenin tried to prove to his wife that he could handle the official documents, but was ruthlessly rejected.
"Sleep, or sleep." The wife said, with a rare strength.
Karenin thought about it, then compromised.
When he was about to fall asleep, he found that his wife hadn't left, so he opened his eyes again and said, "Anna, I suggest you not to be in the same bedroom with me, otherwise you may be infected."
"I know, but how can I go to another room? What if you need anything in the middle of the night?" Anna spread the quilt on the couch as she spoke, and moved the couch over with great effort, leaning against the edge of the bed .
"Actually, I don't want to do this, but if I also fall ill, who will take care of you." Anna climbed onto the couch while talking.
"but… "
"No but, but, still, now, you need to sleep." Anna interrupted her husband directly, announcing.
She lay down and looked at her husband seriously and persistently with her gray eyes, and after a moment of stalemate with those big eyes, the latter silently agreed.
Ten minutes later, in the heavy pajamas, Karenin felt something warm holding his palm. He instinctively wanted to pull away, but was held tightly again, and then he patted him lightly, comforting him, as if saying: "Hey, don't be afraid, I won't hurt you. "
So, Mr. Karenin, whose defense was zero when he was sick, gave up his resistance, and while frowning, he allowed the thing's invasion.
Although Karenin was a good patient at the insistence of his wife, it is clear that people who do not often get sick may not be cured so easily if they get sick.
On the second day, Karenin's wind chill intensified.
Anna hardly needed to look at her temperature to know that Karenin's condition was getting worse, because of something.
A person who pays attention to decency and image like him cannot resist the power of the virus.
Blowing your nose became the norm, and it was the first time Anna saw Karenin like this. After the doctor saw it, she couldn't help but whispered in her husband's ear: "I always thought my husband couldn't blow his nose. of."
After seeing Karenin's strange expression, Anna breathed a sigh of relief and laughed. If Karenin could still respond to her words, then at least he was fine.
She gently pressed her husband's forehead, muttering: "Get better soon, I really don't like to see you blow your nose."
"Maybe it's more suitable for me to do it." She said while remembering when she was sick before, especially when she was newly married, her nose was red in those days, like carrots in the vegetable garden, There is simply no image at all.
His wife's words made Karenin's depressed mood a lot easier.
Even though he knew it was a joke, he still didn't want it to have any chance of being true.
"I don't like it when you're sick," he said. He also thought of those times when Anna fell ill. Although there were no problems left at all, the fragility and worry during the illness still made Karenin list the option of "sickness" as a forbidden area.
After hearing this, his wife was stunned for a moment, then smiled, and rubbed her cheek against his palm, as if silently agreeing.
"Then let's not get sick, but be healthy and healthy, and we can eat and drink delicious food."
This kind of tone, which was similar to coaxing a child, was refuted one by one by Karenin solemnly, but it made the atmosphere more relaxed.
After his wife left, Karenin also realized the seriousness of the wind and cold, so he didn't ask for work anymore. Although he was unwilling, reason told him what to do to help him recover, so Karenin restrained himself and followed the doctor's instructions.
Taking medicine and eating some liquid food, Karenin endured everything.
Seeing her husband's patience, Anna's originally teasing expression became a little distressed.
"It's hard to eat, isn't it?" She sighed, staring at the pills, as if she was the one who was forced to eat them.
Karenin wanted to comfort Anna, but the illness dulled his senses, and Anna became a little restless.
"Still not retreating." She patted his head and muttered.
"Anna, it's impossible to take the pill and it will be effective immediately." Karenin said seriously, almost suspecting that the person who got sick was not himself but his wife.
"I know." Anna moved her feet, as if something was wrong, she sighed heavily again.
Karenin raised his hand, and under his wife's puzzled gaze, he pulled her into his arms.
Not very skilled, but as soft and delicate as possible, stroking her hair.
"Just a little sick, and it will be all right soon, Anna." He said calmly.
Under her husband's comfort, Anna really calmed down, and raised her right hand to rest on the former's chest.
"I'm not doing very well." She sighed. His right hand gripped the fabric of the pajamas tightly.
"I thought I could do well, but you didn't get better, so I was worried." She bit her lip again, a little overwhelmed.
"When I was sick, you took good care of me."
"No, Anna." Karenin said.
"When you were sick, in fact," he paused before slowly revealing his thoughts at the time, "I don't know what to do."
"You know, my parents died early, and I don't have much experience in caring for people."
Anna listened, and her heart calmed down.
"But you took good care of me."
"Because you are actually not difficult to take care of." Karenin decided to be realistic, and his serious tone made Anna laugh.
"I know I'm quite annoying when I'm sick." She got up, sat on the edge of the bed, held Karenin's palm with both hands, and stuck it to her cheek for a while.
"Okay, I'm not being stupid anymore, I hope you get better soon."
"I'll be fine," Karenin said, like a promise.
After a while, when Karenin was about to fall into a deep sleep under the influence of the medicine, he heard a soft singing.
The lyrics made him feel a little funny under his hard work. In fact, he really raised the corners of his lips slightly. It should not be sung by wives to husbands, nor should it be given to adults. However, this Once, Karenin did not stop the opponent.
"Sleep sleep my darling..."