"..."
"..."
"..."
The few of us stared at each other like cockfights for a long time, I finally managed to speak, and coughed hard: "Cough! This... you guys, you should know that making a movie is very expensive, right? Even in China , a low-cost movie will cost at least a few million... "
Speaking of this, I suddenly realized that these guys couldn't be troubled at this point.
Whether it's Qiao Qiao or A Ze, where are they people who are short of money
"And filming, production, distribution..."
"You are responsible for all of this!" Qiao Qiao winked at me: "You also have a Deep Blue Entertainment Company, and that Hollywood film company in the United States..."
"Oh..." Sighing, I smiled wryly: "What about box office appeal?"
Following my question, the new four big wolves shamelessly turned their attention to Lei Xiaohu, and Qiao Qiao even kicked him lightly from behind.
"...Okay." Looking at Lei Xiaohu's betrayed expression, I sighed, "Even if there is Xiaohu working as a laborer for you...but..."
"No but!" Qiao Qiao laughed domineeringly: "This movie will definitely be a great movie! And it will severely trample on the movie you want to shoot, Chen Yang, you accept your fate … Ha ha."
Rolling my eyes, I started to read the script first...
Well, Screenwriter: Wood...
Title "The Bloody Love History of Heroes..."
Uh, how should I put it, the words at the beginning of the title barely catch the eye—what can you expect a guy with a scalpel full of formalin to write
However, then look back:
"... Bloody Love History-Joking about the Tiger Prison of the Three Kingdoms, the Three Heroes, and Lu Bu's Four Great Jackals, The Lustful Edition" Damn! I am angry from the heart, evil to the gallbladder! Can't help but slap my thigh! What kind of shit is this! !
list of actors:
Liu Bei: A Ze (a sweaty big-eared thief!)
Guan Yu: Mu Mu (the taciturn Mu Mu plays the second brother Guan? Uh... imagine Mu Mu's face reddened with shoe polish... )
Zhang Fei: Lei Xiaohu (this... a handsome guy with a gorgeous temperament will play the role of Zhang Fei, who is a leopard with rings around his eyes. I think Xiaohu's fans will cry a lot).
Diao Chan... why is Diao Chan still there
After taking a look at these guys, Aze immediately said: "Since it is a love story, how can there be no female characters? Just kidding! Which of the current popular works does not have several heroines? The audience was dazzled after watching it and shouted wildly: Overthrow!! We only have one, which is very traditional!"
All right!
Diao Chan: Little money fan Amei... (Uh, why not let Qiao Qiao play?)
at last…
Depend on! This is too outrageous!
Lu Bu: Joe, Qiao Qiao? ? !
Swallowing a mouthful of spit, and suppressing Qiao Qiao's murderous eyes, I asked cautiously: "Are you... are you sure? Qiao Qiao reversed... Lu Bu?"
Obviously, I was asking for nothing, because these guys have a good reason!
Amei nodded seriously: "Lu Bu is lustful!"
Aze's firm tone: "Lu Bu belongs to Biaohan!"
Mu Mu sighed deeply: "Lu Bu is invincible!!"
Lei Xiaohu immediately dodged a few steps, then pointed at Qiao Qiao from a distance: "This woman, too!"
Me: "... You guys are right!"
…
In front of the Hulao Pass, there are hundreds of thousands of armored armor, like a forest of knives and guns, and the murderous aura is overwhelming!
Lu Bu among people, Chitu among horses... Miss Qiao immediately slashed her sword and stood in front of Xiongguan facing a hundred thousand enemy troops... Uh, wait! It seems that Lu Bu didn't use a sword, but Fang Tian painted a halberd, right
You care so much! Miss Qiao likes to use knives! No way! Without a knife, how can people "cut chickens"!
Miss Lu loudly boosted morale: "My goal is to kill half of the world's people (men), and then put half of the world's people (women) into my harem, giving them happiness and favor! So, Diao Zen, you belong to me!!"
… %××※※…￥%￥%…
Zhang Fei (classmate Lei Xiaohu makes a gorgeous appearance), holding a sharp sword (don't ask me why Zhang Fei doesn't use a snake spear, you have the courage to ask the four jackals yourself): Hey! Three-sex house slave! Be bold! Lu Bu doll! Do you know your three generals? Hurry up and get off your horse!
Lu Bu (Miss Qiao): Hmph! Trash is trash! Cannon fodder is cannon fodder! Let's retreat gorgeously! How can a guy like you know the profound meaning of gorgeousness! Or quickly go back to shape the beauty!
Zhang Fei (Lei Xiaohu): Huh! The sword is the weapon of murder! Swordsmanship is the art of killing! No matter how gorgeous the language is to cover up, this is always the same fact!
(I hate it! What a Feicun Jianxin version of Mr. Zhang!)
Miss Lu: "Aha! Look at my unparalleled and gorgeous secrets! True Six Paths of Reincarnation!"
(Uh... Six Paths of Samsara? Such a familiar name...)
Zhang Xiaohu: Ah... (screams)
The red-faced second brother Mu appeared: "Little San! Don't be afraid! I'll help you!"
Miss Lu: "Another cannon fodder to die... look at my skills..."
The second red-faced wooden brother: "Haha! Idiot, don't you know that in front of a real saint fighter, the same trick cannot be used a second time!"
Miss Lu: "Hmph, what do you know! How can you use such a gorgeous trick a second time! Look at my stunt! Evil! That is! Slash! Unchanged until death!"
(My day... Saitoichi and Lu Bu's unique combination??)
The second red-faced wooden brother: "Ah..." (screaming)
Liu Bei (Aze made a gorgeous appearance): "Oh, it seems that these two guys are dead. At the critical moment, I have to go!"
Zhang Xiaohu's classmate/red-faced wooden second brother said in unison: "Boss, don't speak so directly, okay... Men can't say no!"
The sophomore thief Aze: "Hmph! Speaking straight is my way of ninja!"
Miss Lu: "Hmph, the cannon fodder has increased to the third! Why do men like you make such despicable actions! Hmph!"
Liu, Guan, Zhang Qisheng: "To maintain the peace of the earth! To prevent the world from being destroyed! Stick to love and true evil..."
Miss Lu: "Hmph! What a mess! You guys, what is your real purpose!"
Zhang Xiaohu: "Hey! In order to rescue the goddess, Miss Diao Chan, who was imprisoned by the evil you!"
The second red-faced wood brother: "To stop your evil love for the profane goddess, Ms. Diao Chan!"
Big-eared thief Aze: "Because of the end of the Eastern Han Dynasty, the national law does not allow lesbians!"
Miss Lu: "What a mess! These flies are jjww, look at my trick! Let's retreat gorgeously! Really, the demon surrendered!!!!"
Liu Guanzhang: "Ah..." (screaming)
Zhang Xiaohu: "Ah...my body, I can't move..."
The second red-faced wood brother: "The five senses are gradually losing..."
Big-eared thief Aze: "Miss Diao Chan... am I... going to die..."
In the distance, in the distance, Diao Chan, a money fan, made a gorgeous debut, crying tears, and a background of gorgeous butterflies: "Oh... star shit... ah no, oh! Liu Bei's small universe is about to disappear..."
Liu Guanzhang: "Ah... ah! I seem to have heard Miss Saori... ah no, I seem to have heard... Miss Diao Chan's call..."
Diao Chan's little money fan: "Oh, you are the fighters of the goddess! You can't fall down so easily... Let's trigger the seventh sense in your body!"
Liu Guanzhang: "Oh... Could it be, are we going to use that move? The move that was forbidden by the goddess... Could it be... The Goddess's Exclamation? The forbidden move of the Saint Seiya combined..."
Miss Lu: "What a mess..."
Zhang Xiaohu: "Look at our invincible fusion trick!"
Red-faced Mu Mu's second brother: "Look~ Bronze Xiaoqiang has possessed him!!"
Big-eared thief Aze: "For the peace of the world! To protect the virginity of the goddess Diao Chan! For the starting point! For the monthly ticket champion! For the annual championship! For the dancing big... small universe, let’s burn~!~!"
…
Snapped!
I resisted the urge to smash the script on Mu Mu's face, closed the script forcefully, and then barely suppressed the desire to chop someone with a knife: "Mu Mu, is this the script you wrote?"
"Please don't underestimate the energy of a manga fan!"
I took a deep breath: "Are you planning to invest a large amount of money to cast such a movie, and then distribute it to audiences all over the country?"
"Wrong!" Aze took a step forward with loyalty, and blocked my murderous gaze instead of wood: "It's not for audiences all over the country... but audiences all over the world! We also plan to send this movie to Hollywood for computer special effects , will also participate in this year's Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film... "
I endured the urge to have a cerebral hemorrhage stimulated by this script, and looked at the wood with bloodshot eyes: "You...do you have any other backup scripts?"
"Yes! Of course there is!" Wood Dayi said awe-inspiringly: "I understand very well that success cannot be placed on chance, so I am prepared for failure. In case this first masterpiece fails, we have a second backup plan!"
As he spoke, Mu Mu took out a script from behind and handed it to me.
I silently took it over and opened it... Then the first line of words almost made me faint.
The first line reads impressively:
"My journey is the sea of stars..."
I looked at the wood with murderous eyes.
"Alas... In fact, besides being a manga fan, I'm also a Yinying fan." Mu Mu looked at me calmly: "Keep reading..."
Turn to the second page... "Human cannon, level one preparation..."
I feel my fingers trembling, my heart is bleeding...
"... %￥#￥... ※%※￥... my day!!"
These are the only two words I can say.