I begged God to pray to Buddha and Bodhisattva in my heart, but Fang Nan had already gently held my hand, and then took the half-burned cigarette from my hand.
She took a half step back, looked up at me, then slowly took a puff of cigarette, and then slowly exhaled.
After the cyan smoke, her eyes were hazy and flickering.
"I'm a woman." Fang Nan finally spoke, her voice was a little hoarse and nasal because of crying, "And I'm not young anymore. For a woman, once she turns thirty, she is a Terrible thing."
I didn't speak.
Fang Nan leaned against the wall, folded his arms, with a weak expression on his face, with a feeling of distress and care: "Chen Yang... Do you know how a woman over thirty feels in her heart?" ?”
"... I don't know." I admitted frankly.
"It's very difficult." Fang Nan spit out these three words from her small mouth, and then her eyes fell on the ceiling, and she seemed to smile slightly, but there was no joy in this smile: "I dress myself up every day. I look beautiful... but only I know when I take off my makeup every night, I have a little crow's feet in the corners of my eyes, even though I use the best for everything... But a woman like me can still keep How old are you?"
"I'm the only one at home... every day. I'm even scared when it's dark. Sometimes, I try to find excuses to go home late. I'd rather stay in the company until there is no one else, and then leave last. .Because I know that the house is empty, even if I sit all night, no one will come and say a word to me! At night, when I sit here, I feel cold all over my body! The coldness comes from the bottom of my heart It comes out! It comes out from the bottom! I will desperately turn on all the lights in the house! Turn on the TV, the stereo, all of them! Turn on all night! Every room! Then I sit on the sofa and wait... "She Suddenly smiled wryly, then shook his head, and said in a low voice: "Even I don't know what I'm waiting for."
"Chen Yang... I am over thirty years old... I have very little youth left... Maybe it won't be long, no... It should be right now! Now I am walking on the road, and some little girls can already call me auntie Instead of calling me sister! But sometimes I think about it, I am thirty years old, but I am still alone, no one loves me, no one will accompany me, no one will make me happy, put me to sleep... In the middle of the night I When I wake up from a nightmare, there is not even a hug to calm me down! Do you know..." She looked into my eyes, with tears in her eyes: "Often after I have a nightmare at night, I hug the quilt Sit till dawn…”
I can't say a word at all!
If a woman is willing to show all her weakness and helplessness in front of you... then what can you say
"You do look a lot like a person." Fang Nan sighed, a strange look flashed in his eyes: "I remember what I told you. You look a lot like him... Even your personality is very similar, You are also so stubborn, strong, unwilling to bow your head, and have a bit of a tough temper. But your eyes, occasionally revealing, are very gentle eyes... This is also very similar to him, very similar."
I'm still speechless.
"The first time I saw you, I was a little... almost unable to control my emotions." Fang Nan shook her head: "Do you still remember that afternoon, I asked you to come to my house to help me with those things?"
"... I remember." I nodded.
There was a hint of shame and guilt in Fang Nan's eyes: "That day, I thought about it all night before I decided to bring you back. I... I had a plan... or I made a plan that made me feel very ashamed. decision."
"ah?"
Fang Nan took a deep breath, blushed, and said tremblingly, "I... plan to seduce you."
hum!
My mind almost exploded!
She... plans to seduce me
She's going to... seduce... me
Fang Nan's face was full of shame, her head almost dropped to her chest, and she said in a very thin voice: "I... am I shameless? A shameless woman?"
When she raised her head again, there were tears in the corners of her eyes: "I also feel very cheap... I thought about it all night... I can't take it anymore, I can't take it anymore! I just want to get a warmer one time Hug, another person who can take good care of me by my side and treat me better... Even if it is only once, I am enough! Enough!" She stretched out her hand and gently held my face: "And, you He looks so much like him... so much! I couldn't help but think in my heart, even if I can only stay in your arms for a while... just a little while, I'm very satisfied.... I'm sorry Chen Yang... I'm sorry, I I know my thoughts are dirty and despicable...but I really can't stand it anymore. I don't want to wake up every night and sit until dawn!"
Although there is no mirror, I can feel that my face must be ugly now.
Finally, Fang Nan sighed: "But... that day, after you came, I found that I... still couldn't do it." She suddenly hugged me tightly, and hissed: "I'm not a lowly woman! I'm not No!!" Then Fang Nan seemed to have lost all her strength and fell limp in my arms. I quickly stretched out my arms to support her, and said softly, "Do you want to sit down?"
"No." Fang Nan said softly in my arms: "Let me... hug for a while, just for a short while, is that okay?"
I sighed and tightened my arms.
Fang Na let out a low groan, put her head on my shoulder, and continued in a low voice, her voice was very blurred, like dreaming: "You were here that afternoon, and you did so many things for me... Looking at you from behind, watching, watching... for a while it was you, and for a while it was him, but changing back and forth, the decision in my heart collapsed. Chen Yang... you know? Ever since I lived in Since here...you..." She looked up: "You are the first man to walk into this house."
"I believe." I nodded immediately.
"Well..." Fang Nan snorted softly: "I drank some wine that afternoon, and I was a little dizzy, but I wasn't drunk... At that time, I thought, forget it, this is the only time I've fallen... Anyway... , I will never meet anyone who really loves me in this life, no one else... Just once, just once..." She smiled suddenly, as if mocking: "That afternoon... you thought Am I really drunk? I'm not... I actually knew it, I was still conscious at the time. You carried me upstairs, and I was still wondering if you couldn't help it... You really had sex with those men outside Same, not a good person, just thinking about how to get a woman into bed... I thought, forget it, just this time, even if there is one more warm memory, so that I will have less nightmares in the days when I am alone in the future .Actually, I'm still very timid... I didn't dare to take the initiative, so I simply handed myself over to you. If you wanted to do something to me at that time, I would not resist." At the end Fang Nan's voice cooled down: "But only once! If you really do something that day, I will let you go the next day."
"And then?" I suddenly asked a very stupid and idiotic question.
Fang Nan suddenly smiled and raised his head.
From such a close distance, Fang Nan's smile is really beautiful and charming. Her eyes are curved, like crescent buds, and the corners of the eyes are slightly raised, very charming and charming.
"Then... well... when you carried me upstairs, I was already ready. I thought you would carry me into the room... But I didn't expect you, you guy, carried me up a circle and then came down again. I almost I can't pretend anymore... At that time, I said to myself, you are really strange, don't you suddenly become timid again when things come to an end?" She blinked, looking a little dazed: "Don't all of you men be very impulsive? Is it?"
I opened my mouth, and my head was sweating a little: "Well...I really didn't think about other evil thoughts that day, I just wanted to carry you up into the room and let you lie down to rest. I didn't want to do anything else... Heaven and earth conscience !"
Fang Nan nodded, her eyes were full of tenderness: "I... believe you!"
"That day... were you really not drunk?" My mouth was bitter.
"A little bit." Fang Nan smiled lightly: "Although I kept a little sobriety, I was really a little confused..."
"How confused are you?"
"Confused enough... I could have the guts to let myself do that."
I'm speechless…
"Chen Yang... thank you, it's a good thing you didn't touch me that day." Fang Nan then withdrew all her smiles and looked at me seriously: "Because you didn't touch me that day, I had the opportunity to slowly feel This feeling right now... or rather, torture."
"Well..." I was speechless.
"That day, you didn't touch me, but then you went out to buy me medicine, and when you came back, I really couldn't take it anymore, my head was dizzy, and I wanted to sleep..." Fang Nan blushed: "Later, you I slept on the sofa with me in my arms for an afternoon... I was awake for a while at that time, I was already over the alcohol. I felt a little regretful and wanted to push you away... But I couldn't bear it. I haven't slept for a long time So secure, you hugged me from behind, supported me, and prevented me from falling. I felt very dependent. I was a little uneasy and restless, but then I slept very soundly. I said to myself, you are a Nice guy... a nice man."
I felt some fire in my face too. In fact, that whole afternoon, I held Fang Nan in my arms, fighting between heaven and man all the time!
"Later at night, I was... um, I was not feeling well. You took good care of me... I haven't been taken care of like that for a long time." Fang Nan's eyes were full of emotion: "Do you still remember that I lost my temper with you? Cangyu... I was very sour at the time... Suddenly, a child-like temper emerged from my heart, as if it was a kind of fear... I was afraid that a toy I liked very much would be snatched away by others !"
"Do you still remember that when we got out of the dinner at night, I lost my temper with you in the car? In fact, I knew in my heart that my losing my temper was unreasonable, and the words I said were very childish... But I just couldn't help it!" Fang Nan She blushed and lowered her head and said: "Actually, girls like this. I just want to lose my temper on purpose and be unreasonable on purpose... I don't know why, but I really want to feel the feeling of being coaxed by you... In the end you really You came to coax me with nice words. Actually bickering with you is quite fun, especially seeing you coaxing me with such a gentle tone, I almost cried at that time... "
I:"… "
Miss! Please, you are my boss! With the job you gave me, can I not talk soft words to coax you
Of course, such words are absolutely unacceptable now!
"Later, you took me to supper... I haven't been to that kind of dilapidated roadside shop for a long, long time!" Fang Nan's eyes were shining brightly: "Usually when people invite me to dinner, they are the ones that are reserved. It's a very high-end restaurant, but you took me to eat those barbecues, but I thought it was very interesting, holding the meat skewers with your hands, it's very fun." When she said this, her tone sank: "Later, when I met those hooligans, They insulted me, so you stood up and fought with them..." She stared at me suddenly: "Also, you pulled me behind you and blocked me with your body..."
Fang Nan suddenly hugged me tightly: "Chen Yang, do you know that after you were taken away by the police, I ran back crying all the way? I even violated my oath and called...their relationship for help! I've forgotten how long... how long I haven't cried for a man!" She bit her lip and stared at me: "After I met you, I cried more times than all these years combined !"
"I..." I just opened my mouth, Fang Nan has already put out his hand to block my mouth, preventing me from speaking.
"I am willing!" Fang Nan said firmly: "I am willing! These are all voluntary! That night, I would rather you send me home because I just want to stay with you for a while. Just for a while!"
"But… "
"No but!" Fang Nan's eyes suddenly showed an unprecedented light: "I have no time! I'm not young anymore! Sometimes I wonder if God has pity on me, and finally put you like this Someone sent me to me... After you sent me home that night, I stood behind the door for a long time, and I almost couldn't help it several times and wanted to rush out to chase you... "
I thought to myself: Fortunately you didn't come out, otherwise you would have seen Wu Gang and I fighting...
"I thought about it all night, and then I made a decision... I decided not to let go this time, I decided to try to catch you!" Fang Nan's eyes suddenly dimmed: "But the next day, I found out that you were gone Accident... Waiting for me to feel that the hospital... saw your... girlfriend..." She had a miserable smile on her face, and said softly: "Do you know? I even wanted to die at that time... I finally saw a little bit of hope, But you strangled it alive in front of me!"
"Yes, I'm sorry."
"Don't tell me I'm sorry." Fang Nan said quietly: "I almost exhausted all my strength to control myself and not go to the hospital to see you again, you know? Every day I go to Korea, I can't sleep at night I will always think of you... I will always think of you protecting me that day, and the scene when you hugged me after I hurt my foot... I call Qian Pan every day and ask her about you."
The gaze in front of me is a heaviness that I cannot bear, but also a tenderness that I cannot resist.
It took almost all of my willpower to move my eyes away: "Fang Nan... I don't know what to say, and I don't know how to express the shock in my heart... Hmm..."
"I know what you want to say!" Fang Nan gritted his teeth: "You want to say that you have a girlfriend, and then you want to say it's impossible, no, and then you say sorry to me, don't you?"
I really wanted to say "yes", but facing Fang Nan, the word couldn't come out of my mouth no matter what.
"Chen Yang..." Her cry seemed to be filled with infinite affection, and I couldn't help but feel my heart tremble when I heard it. Fang Nan had already reached out and hooked my neck: "I don't want you to do anything... I won't ask you to do anything... I just ask you to stay by my side... Don't go out of my sight, so I can see you all the time, okay?"
"..."
"I really don't want too much... I won't grab anything with your girlfriend. I don't want to disturb your life... I just want you to stay! Just stay!" Fang Nan almost begged: " Don't go, okay? No matter what request you make, I am willing to agree to you! As long as you leave me with the last hope, don't take it away completely, okay?"
To be honest, my heart has completely softened.
How to say that sentence: Hundreds of steel refiners turn their fingers soft!
In this situation, a beautiful woman who is so touching is speaking her heart to you in your arms with such an expression... What more can I ask for!
Besides, for such a weak and helpless woman, do I have the heart to hurt her
"Actually... Actually, I'm not a good person." I hesitated and said.
"I know!" Fang Nan blinked suddenly, and said in a low voice, "That day I passed out drunk on the sofa, right here, you thought I fell asleep, didn't you say something to me 'Fortunately, I have already quit the arena , otherwise you will put me...'... Hehe, those words show that you are actually a pretty good person."
Seeing that I finally stopped talking, Fang Nan suddenly had a strange look in his eyes, and the arms hooking my neck were slightly retracted, and that delicate and charming face slowly approached me with infinite shyness... Approaching...
Finally, my lips tasted a soft and delicate fragrance...
that feeling...
...is sweet...
My mind quickly went blank, and my arms hugged her involuntarily...
I felt my mind was empty, dazed, a little fluttering, and top-heavy. There is a trace of sweetness in my heart, a trace of joy, a trace of joy, and a trace of anxiety.
I can't even remember the details of how I got out of Fang Nan's house...
I just remember that after a long kiss that almost suffocated me, Fang Nan was as soft as a pool of spring water, and fell into my arms, her eyes were almost dripping water!
I knew immediately that I had to leave immediately! Otherwise, I'm afraid my self-control ability is not as good as I imagined!
Then what
Hmm... Then, it seemed that Fang Nan held my arm and sent me out. Before he left, his face was shy, like a girl, and he stood on tiptoe and kissed me on the face: "Chen Yang... come pick me up tomorrow Go to work."
How do I answer
Oh... by the way, what I said was, "Okay."
Standing outside Fang Nan's house, I was woken up by the wind, and I couldn't help but pat my face hard.
goblin! Absolute goblin! I was almost so fascinated that I didn't even know who I was!
I turned and looked at the closed door, but I couldn't muster up the courage to knock on it anymore.
Patting myself on the forehead hard, I reluctantly got into the car, started it, and left on the road.
I was a little flustered along the way. I almost ran through the red light a few times, and twice I was thinking about things while waiting for the red light. In a fit of anger, he stuck his head out and cursed: "Press why! You have a horn and I don't! Press!!"
Then start cursing again.
After a while, I suddenly felt that I really wanted to talk to someone, and I needed to find a friend to talk about this matter. So he drove the car onto a remote road, parked on the side of the road, took out his phone and looked at the number on it.
Jojo... Well, forget it, she seems to be upset with me.
Aze... this big mouth, I can't tell him, if it gets to Yan Di, I will be finished!
Wood... or wood! The mouth is tight!
When the phone fluctuated, Mu Mu let out a sound over there, and I immediately sighed: "Mu Mu, I'm in big trouble!"
Afterwards, I told everything about what happened at Fang Nan's house in the afternoon, even the last affectionate kiss, after a moment of hesitation.
Of course, I hesitated for a while about accidentally bumping into Fang Nan's bath, and finally didn't say it.
Mu Mu didn't say a word during the whole process of my narration, but just listened, quietly.
Finally, when I finished speaking, Mu Mu suddenly said, "Yan Di is a good girl."
"I know!" I was a little impatient: "That's why I'm bothered! I don't want to do this kind of thing that is one foot in two boats!"
"This Fang Nan is also very good."
"... I know too." I said loudly, "I didn't ask you to judge other girls! I need your advice! What should I do!!"
There was silence on the other end of the phone for a long time, and Mu Mu said: "Cold salad."
I immediately became angry and furious: "I said what do you mean by saying this! I originally wanted to ask Fang Nan to understand this matter today! But I didn't expect it to turn out like this! Do you think I want to? Do you think I Do you want to make this kind of scene? You think it’s fun and interesting for me to step on two boats, it’s so fucking cool, doesn’t it!!” I complained angrily, “Man! They are all fucking forced out!! Forced out of!!!"
There was silence on the other end of the phone for a while, and suddenly Mu Mu's voice came over smoothly and clearly!
This guy unexpectedly said a few more words!
I only heard a wooden voice on the phone saying clearly: "Not all of them were forced out...As a doctor, let me correct you, there are also many people who have cesarean sections."
"..." Me: "※￥...%#...￥※..."
"Okay, aren't you going to pick Fang Nan up for work tomorrow...don't be late."
The phone hung up and I was left there.