(1)
A long time passed without knowing it, and it was past the time for the child to fall asleep. Seeing Yang Yitong starting to slack, Yang Ren said, "My dear, you can go and sleep with grandma."
Yang Yitong stretched out his little hand and pulled his father, and said, "I want to sleep with my father."
"Dad is here waiting for Uncle Xu, let's go." Yang Ren patted the child on the back and told him to go back to the next door.
Yang Yitong didn't dare to be disobedient, but he was still reluctant. He looked back at Yang Ren step by step. In order to reassure his son, Yang Ren tried his best to give him a smile.
Although Yang Ren's emotional changes that night could not be explained clearly, Yang Yitong could feel it. He was worried about his father, but he couldn't help him knock on Uncle Xu's door.
Sitting on the cold floor, Yang Ren had never been so afraid, like a child abandoned by his mother. He knew that although Xu Yao didn't say anything, life was painful and difficult every day. Yang Ren was trying his best to accompany him, so that he would not have the idea of not being able to live, but at this moment, he had left his sight. After giving up life like this, is Yang Ren still alive
The deaf-blind themselves are very painful, and the people who love them deeply are also painful. This kind of physical ordeal can only be resisted by both parties. Now Xu Yao has closed the door and refused Yang Ren's proposal. participate. When they want to live well, they will actively accept the information of their surroundings, and if they want to give up their connection with the world around them, no matter what they do, it is impossible for able-bodied people to squeeze into their world.
(2)
Yang Ren was afraid that Xu Yao couldn't think of doing something stupid, and his heart was always hanging. The old man and Xiao Ai went back to the room to sleep one after another, and he still sat on the ground and didn't move. Before the old man proposed to pry the door open, Yang Ren did not agree, people are all dignified, Xu Yao already had no privacy in this situation, and he broke the door rudely, what made him think? What's more, he used his deafness and blindness to lie to him, Xu Yao guessed that his self-esteem had been hurt.
There has never been any sound in the bedroom, and Xu Yao's ears have been bad since he was a child, so sometimes he can't perceive or control the inadvertent sound when he puts a bowl or opens a cabinet door. But this night, the bedroom was surprisingly quiet, and this terrifying atmosphere always tormented Yang Ren's heart.
I don't know how long it took before Yang Ren fell asleep in despair and worry, but his posture remained the same, with his back against the door frame, and the floor was slightly cool.
I don't know if the old man knew about Yang Ren's difficulties this night. He didn't wake up at night to trouble him, and slept soundly and quietly in his bed. At three o'clock in the morning, the door of Xu Yao's bedroom suddenly opened. He didn't step out and kick Yang Ren, but just opened the door and stood motionless at the door.
Listen, hear no movement, see, see no sight.
Not bad, Yang Ren woke up in time, he squinted his eyes and looked up at Xu Yao, Xu Yao didn't plan to come out, as if he opened the door specially and knew that he was at the door.
Yang Ren stood up, moved his legs and feet, and then hugged Xu Yao. He didn't know if Xu Yao would push him away, but he was so helpless that he couldn't let it go.
(3)
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have lied to you." Yang Ren said in his ear, although Xu Yao was not wearing a hearing aid.
He could feel the warm breath in his ears, Xu Yao did not rush to listen, but asked, "What time is it?"
"Three o'clock." Yang Ren took Xu Yao's hand to his lips, and at the same time there was a tingling in his heart. He knew that it was difficult for Xu Yao to tell the exact time a long time ago. Difficult? "Why did you get up in the middle of the night to open the door?" Yang Ren asked him.
Xu Yao had some expressions on his face and said, "I don't know how long it has been, I'm afraid you will be worried."
thanks. Thank you for his maturity and reason.
Seeing him standing in front of him intact, Yang Ren only had this sentence in his heart, he wanted to tell Xu Yao a hundred times.
"Let's figure out a way. I'll see if there is a watch you can use tomorrow." Yang Ren said, although Xu Yao's eyes can still distinguish between day and night, for a person who has been healthy for more than 20 years, losing his eyesight There is still a need for precise time in the future.
Xu Yao shook his head. He didn't know whether to say no or it didn't matter. Yang Ren looked at him and suddenly felt that after the heavy life started, Xu Yao seemed to be different from ten years ago. He walked with his hand in his white coat pocket. Feng's figure has been blurred into a white spot, which makes people feel embarrassed.
"Is it tiring to live like this? Can't tell the time, is it painful?" Yang Ren finally asked a sensitive question.
Xu Yao didn't intend to lie to him, and nodded heavily.
(4)
In the dark night, the lights in the bedroom and living room were not turned on, Yang Ren and Xu Yao were standing at the door, their postures were a bit entangled, they hugged each other, and Xu Yao's hand was on Yang Ren's lips. He is not used to telling his own difficulties, and his heart is always thinking of others.
So Xu Yao asked: "Be with me, are you tired too?"
Yang Ren shook his head vigorously: "No, no."
The corners of Xu Yao's mouth finally turned up again, but this time, it was as if a pair of heavy shackles had been hung on the corners of his mouth, and he fell stubbornly.
"I... I don't want to torture the people around me because of me." Xu Yao said slowly and heavily, causing Yang Ren to almost cry. He had never talked to Xu Yao like this before. After despair, hearing Xu Yao's inner thoughts, he was still so negative that he couldn't accept it for a while.
"Please... I beg you, Xu Yao, don't give up, no matter how bad your health is, as long as you are alive and by my side, it's fine." Yang Ren didn't know if his thoughts were selfish, but he heard the Braille teacher say that deaf and blind people She suffers a nervous breakdown, and has seen the news of the deaf twins being euthanized after being blind, always worried that Xu Yao will choose to end all this pain.
I want to help you share. Yang Ren thought.
Xu Yao took his hand off Yang Ren's lips, held his face gently, and said seriously: "Don't worry, there are too many people I don't want to give up, I can't let go of Xiao Ai, can't let go of my dad, let alone Not for you."
The author has something to say:
This chapter came out after I was stuck for a week, so don't dislike it