I fell asleep in a daze among the extremely tangled cranky thoughts, and then had an extremely chaotic dream.
The scene in the dream was full of chaos. I seemed to be in a bustling street. At first, I seemed to be holding Cheng Hua's arm and randomly picking up oranges, apples, etc. on the side of the street, and then suddenly a face appeared The ferocious woman snatched the fruit from my hand, and said to me in a high voice, "Bah, seeing your virtue, you have the nerve to carry Cheng Hua on your shoulders."
Before I could reply, a voice came out of nowhere and started shouting at me, "Hey, that's her. She's that shameless reporter who flirted with Cheng Hua while making up Cheng Hua's relationship with her." Gossip about other women." "Isn't it? Do journalists today know what professional ethics is?" "What, professional ethics, you have to say that this woman is shameless." "Then this girl is mentally ill "I think Cheng Hua's brain is also sick, so I'm interested in such a schizophrenic patient."
I was terrified, covering my face and running around, it seemed that there was always someone stumbling under my feet, making me stumble one after another, seeing a cliff in front of me, I thought I could finally avoid the entanglement of those people , I jumped down without hesitation, but I only remembered when my feet were off the ground, will I die like this? I started desperately trying to catch something again, but everything slipped past my eyes like phantoms, and I couldn't catch anything.
Then, I woke up suddenly.
As soon as I opened my eyes, I saw Cheng Hua sitting by the bed, looking at me sadly.
His hairstyle has returned to being spotless, and the stubble on his face has been shaved clean. Even though there are still faintly visible dark circles on his face, and the bruise on his cheekbones has not completely faded away, but, he It was the Cheng Hua I was familiar with again, the elegant, perfect Cheng Hua who was ready to put on an awesome look even if there was no audience.
Seeing that I opened my eyes, he smiled and stood up immediately. He first shook the bed for me, arranged the pillows behind me, and then pointed to the thermos bucket on the side table and said to me: "I want to drink some soup." Well, the black chicken soup your mother made for you is still hot, the doctor said you can drink some."
I was still a little overwhelmed by the situation in the dream, so I tried my best to recall where Cheng Hua was when I was running around in a hurry in the dream. Well, he seemed to be watching with arms folded in a leisurely way, nothing at all. Means to help me.
Although I knew it was a dream, but at this moment, I just woke up, and I couldn't get over my emotions for a while, and I was so angry with him in my heart. But he said angrily: "Why are you here? Where is my mother? Put down the soup and leave?"
"Well, Auntie said, leave you to me!" Cheng Hua said, with a flattering expression on his face, "Want a drink?" He asked again.
I shook my head a little irritably, and stopped looking at him, just looked down at the white sheets in a daze.
There was a small sound beside me, and after a while, a bowl full of hot soup was raised in front of me, "Drink some, Auntie said she stewed it all afternoon." Cheng Hua said persistently.
Depressed and discouraged, I grabbed the bowl, raised my neck, and downed the soup in one gulp. When the soup reached my throat, I realized that it was still a little hot, but it was hard to spit it out, and I swallowed it reluctantly, and my throat hurt sharply.
Cheng Hua looked at me silently, and it took a long time before she said, "Momo, are you angry?"
Yes, I am angry, I am angry with myself.
I never knew that I was such an indecisive person before. I thought that my biggest shortcoming was that I liked to escape, but once I encountered something that I really couldn't escape, I would burst out with a moment of loneliness and close my eyes. Let's go on a rampage first.
However, this time, I suddenly felt that I couldn't move.
I don't have the courage to face difficulties, and I haven't changed my determination, so I think, I can't go blindly insisting on now for a future without regrets, as Wei Jie said, I am afraid of pain, I am afraid of injuries, and I am even more afraid of injuries that I can see, just like I will put a Band-Aid on any small wound, as long as it is not exposed, I will not hurt so much.
And regret, if you really regret it, it is a kind of faint injury. I think I'm probably more open to internal injuries than bloody wounds.
So, I forced myself to make up my mind, looked up at Cheng Hua, and tried my best to maintain a calm tone and said, "Cheng Hua, let's get it over with."
Cheng Hua's peach-blossom eyes, which always seem to be full of autumn water, can still be seen with faint bloodshot eyes. He was originally looking at me intently, but now his eyes flickered, avoiding my sight.
I think, in fact, I still want to believe that Cheng Hua cares about me. No matter what, we are old friends who have known each other for more than ten years. This feeling, no matter what relationship we get along with, or whether it is far or near, it always exists between us.
What I'm not sure about is just how much I can give up for him for this kind of emotion, and how much he can tolerate for me. If the vigorous ending is nothing in the end, I would rather I meet him many years later and still be able to pat him The one who said with a big grin on his shoulders, "You're fine, you've been a coquette for more than ten years."
Cheng Hua reached out and took the bowl in my hand, and went to serve the soup again, as if she didn't hear what I said before, while scooping the soup into the bowl, she said, "It's so delicious, Auntie's cooking skills are really bad, I told you Mom told her to learn more, but she just doesn't know how to learn. Hey, Momo, do you still drink? If you don't drink, I'll drink a bowl, and it's your credit."
I watched him talking to himself, the hand holding the spoon trembled slightly, and my heart felt sore.
This child is nervous, just like when he was a child.
Just like in the year of the senior high school entrance examination, on the day when the scores were released, he came to my house to find me. The parents went to school to get their grades. He sat proudly in front of the TV and played games without saying a word to me. I was the same at that time. At the beginning of love, I can't grasp the age of my attitude. He ignores me, and I can't pester him. It's obviously a game that can be played by two people. I deliberately stick to the other end and read the novel.
But after Aunt Yue and my mother came back, he suddenly warmed up to me, "Momo, who do you like to choose for this game? Oh, why don't you play with me for a while, what's the point of reading alone." "Momo Momo, your shoes are so pretty, you look best in blue, you know?" "Momo, are you thirsty? I'll go buy you soda."
At that time, I looked at him in amazement who suddenly looked like a different person, and I was still thinking in my heart, isn't he acting again for adults, how kind is he to me
When my mother heard that he was going to buy soda, she hurriedly greeted him, "I made iced sour plum soup at home, don't go to buy soda, it's not good to drink too much." So Cheng Hua took the initiative to take care of me and brushed me up. Opened the glass and poured the drink. I heard Aunt Yue talking to my mother about our grades, but I didn't feel anything. I performed at a normal level, and there would be no surprises or surprises. But Cheng Hua's hand was shaking when pouring the drink, almost knocking over the glass a few times. Until Aunt Yue said: "I really didn't expect Xiaohua to be one point lower than Momo this time, so it should be no problem to enroll these two children in No. 1 middle school. It's best to be assigned to the same class."
He suddenly grinned at me, went back to play his games arrogantly, and didn't say anything to me again.
I was surprised by his strange behavior for a long time, and finally realized that he was nervous, just like now.
But I had no choice but to interrupt his cover-up ruthlessly, and repeated again: "Cheng Hua, I said, let's end it completely."
His hand paused, and finally put down the bowl, turned his head to look at me expressionlessly and asked, "Because of Liu Tao?"
I shake my head.
"Because of Han Qing?" He frowned slightly and asked again.
I shook my head again.
"Because of this kidnapping?" he continued.
After shaking my head this time, I nodded again.
Seeing me like this, he seemed relieved, sat on the edge of the bed, put his arms around me, let my head rest on his shoulder, and said comfortingly: "Momo, this kind of accident will really happen in the future." There will be no more. Otherwise, I will send you to go abroad with your uncles and aunts for a while, or you simply quit your job and stay abroad for a while. Weijie’s friend in New Zealand has a farm... "
Cheng Hua was interrupted by me before he finished speaking, but I didn't change the posture of being hugged by him. God knows, how many opportunities will I have to enjoy his embrace in the future? .
Although I maintained this lazy and ambiguous posture, I still said firmly: "Cheng Hua, I don't want to go abroad, I don't want to change my current life, I'm not you, I can never get used to being noticed by others, I just want to shrink In my own world. I don't want to attract attention, and I don't want to attract attention because of you. That's not the life I want, so...let's call it a day, Cheng Hua, I... Thank you very much for giving I have a very happy and special memory.”
I clearly felt Cheng Hua's body stiffen, but then he hugged me even tighter and said, "Momo, it's all temporary, these are all temporary. I'm to blame for everything before, I should take care of myself." Hiding you, I shouldn't have disobeyed Sister Wei's words and let someone take our photos and leave. But, Momo, you believe me, I have already thought about it, give me some time, a year at most, when the time comes , everyone will not notice us."
I shook my head, "Cheng Hua, I don't want to change for you, and I don't want you to change for me. You were probably born to be a star, but I was born to be an ordinary commoner. We are completely irrelevant. Why? Do we have to force them together? We are not children anymore, can we be more rational?"
Only then did Cheng Hua let go, pulled me to face him, stared at me and said seriously, "No."
I was amused by his serious and childish expression, and shook my head helplessly, "Cheng Hua, do we really have such a deep relationship? Is it really to the point where whoever leaves can't live? Now it's like this. Why bother? It’s because I can’t influence your star chart, and I can’t change my normal life because of you. Or, I’m just cowardly, you have to allow me to admit it, right? I can’t bear the intensity of your fans towards you I don’t want to be the cannon fodder for the competition in your circle, and I don’t want to be in the news every few days, and people will tell me what to do when I walk on the street. I don’t want to, Okay ah!"
"No." Cheng Hua continued to deny me persistently.
"That's why you are unreasonable." I looked at him speechlessly and said.
"Yes, I have been unreasonable since I was a child, you know." He answered me very confidently.
"I'm too lazy to tell you any more, anyway, I've decided." I felt that seeing Cheng Hua like this made my heart soften a little bit. Even though he was unreasonable, he moved me unreasonably. Without looking away, he spoke with a firm tone.
"This is not something you can decide on your own!" Cheng Hua stood up angrily.
I didn't speak, just turned my head stubbornly.
There were footsteps coming towards us, Cheng Hua and I followed the sound and saw Liu Tao had entered the ward. Liu Tao seemed to be aware of the unusual relationship between Cheng Hua and me, so he stopped at the door, smiled at us and said, "Did I bother you?"
"No." Cheng Hua and I said in unison, both gnashing our teeth.
Liu Tao stood there smiling and looking at us.
Cheng Hua stared at me with a pale face for a few seconds, then turned around and said, "I'm going first, Momo, you should rest well." When passing by Liu Tao, he suddenly stopped in his tracks and turned his head to meet Liu Tao. We both smiled, "Oh, by the way, Momo, my mother said that she will come over tomorrow to see your future daughter-in-law."