In the winter of the ninth year of Tianbao, it will be the eighteenth day of the twelfth lunar month in a few days. It has already snowed one after another, and the whole sky and earth are covered with snow. It is said that auspicious snow heralds a good harvest, but in the eyes of some people, it is like heaven and earth. In memory of Queen Mother Wen, who has passed away ten years ago.
Today is the Empress Dowager's memorial day, and the palace has announced early that the Empress will go to Ciyun Nunnery to pray for the Empress Dowager's spirit in heaven.
Zhao Liuli got up early and took a broom to sweep the snow with the nuns in the nunnery. Although she was still a princess, the emperor did not deprive her of the title of princess, and even sent some snacks from the palace during the New Year and holidays. Therefore, the hostess paid special attention to her, and the food and clothing expenses were different, and the work was also different. Others should take it easy, but the Queen's coming to pray today is the top priority in the nunnery, and everyone has their own work assigned.
Zhao Liuli swept the snow mechanically. He had thought that he had stayed at Ciyun Temple for eight full years and had thought everything about Qingdeng Ancient Buddha every day. But today, because the Queen was about to arrive, it brought back some memories. The dusty past makes me feel uneasy.
She used to look down on the current Queen and the Crown Princess back then, because the Crown Princess's mother-in-law was not from a prominent wealthy family, but was just a young lady from a third-rank official's family. The Queen Mother had objected to it, but she was accepted into the family of the former Queen and the Crown Prince. After seeing her, she became the Crown Princess. For this reason, the Queen Mother ignored the First Queen for a while. It wasn't until the Crown Princess gave birth to her grandson, and she was always cautious and flattering in front of the Queen Mother, that the Queen Mother's complexion gradually improved. People were willing to give her some respect, but the Queen Mother still criticized her. But now, people She has become a queen, and her mother honors the world.
Things are really unpredictable, but there were so many people who were looked down upon by her back then. At that time, she was the Queen Mother's favorite, getting wind and rain whenever she wanted, no matter what she did, who she teased, or who she humiliated. , the Queen Mother stood up for her, even if the Emperor wanted to blame her, but under the strong protection of the Queen Mother, he had no choice but to give up.
She was spoiled like this, thinking that everything she did was right, until Ye Jinxuan appeared, the person she hated most in her life and her greatest enemy.
However, at that time, she also despised him from the bottom of her heart. She fought with him again and again and suffered miserable defeats. At that time, she seemed to be trapped in a demonic barrier, and she was bent on trampling this man under her feet and stepping into the mud. Never be able to stand up again. The funny thing is that she was the one who fell into hell in the end, and she was the one who could never get over again.
During the first year of chanting sutras and praying for the Queen Mother in the palace, she thought every day and every night that if she could have opened her eyes a little more, maybe everything would be different.
It’s a pity that I can’t see it! The first time she suffered defeat in her life was at the hands of Ye Jinxuan, and then came jealousy. Jealousy that such a mediocre woman and lowly cook had won Xia Chunyu's heart; jealousy that every time she saw Xia Chunyu's eyes looking at Ye Jinxuan, she was as gentle and doting as if There is no other woman in this world except Ye Jinxuan; I hate that every time I hear others praise her for how capable Ye Jinxuan is, I hate that everyone around me turns to Ye Jinxuan; I hate that every time she complains to Chunfeng, Chunfeng always They are saying good things about Ye Jinxuan...
Yes, jealousy. She hates it because of jealousy. She is jealous of Ye Jinxuan. She is obviously inferior to her in everything, but she lives a more wonderful life than her. She has parents-in-law who value her, a husband who loves her, friends who like her, and a famous person. Jinling’s Heavenly Residence…
Finally, she finally had a chance to feel proud, better than Ye Jinxuan's chance. Unfortunately, her child was gone.
So, she started to make calculations, but every time she made calculations, in the end, the retribution fell on herself.
The first time I was scolded by the Queen Mother was because of Ye Jinxuan.
The first time I was ignored by my parents-in-law was because of Ye Jinxuan.
The separation from Chunfeng was due to Ye Jinxuan.
Xiaoya was lost because of Ye Jinxuan.
Forced to move out of the Hou Mansion because of Ye Jinxuan.
The reputation was ruined because of Ye Jinxuan.
…
But now that I think about it, rather than saying it was because of Ye Jinxuan, it would be better to say that it was her own fault.
Xia Chunyu had scolded her a long time ago. In the Lantingxuan teahouse that day, Xia Chunyu said: You feel happy when you bully others. Have you ever thought about how others feel? Do you think bullying others is natural? You can't bear the slightest grievance...
At that time, she only felt angry. Of course it was natural for her to bully others because she didn't like those people.
Later, when Ye Jinxuan and Lu Xiaotian were framed, Xia Chunyu scolded her for her own evil.
Chunfeng looked at her with colder eyes day by day, and she was still complaining that Chunfeng didn't help her or treat her, and even suspected that Chunfeng and Ye Jinxuan had something in mind.
Only now do I understand that it was not Chunfeng who liked Ye Jinxuan that was why he was disappointed in her. Ye Jinxuan was his sister-in-law and a member of his family. He was disappointed because she caused him to be embarrassed and embarrassed in front of his family again and again, making him feel guilty. Chunfeng Feng is a person who values family affection very seriously.
Unfortunately, she understood these truths too late. She had been proud for too long and did not know how to lower her noble head.
Chunfeng…
She recited the name silently in her heart, and her heart felt as if she had been pricked by a needle, aching faintly.
Chunfeng, do you still hate me
You must still hate me, otherwise, why have you never come to see me for so many years? Even if it's just for a servant to take a look and let me know that you don't hate me anymore, it's okay!
Chunfeng, do you know that in this life, I have only been sincere to one person, and that is you; do you know how much I regret it now; do you know how much I miss you...
Zhao Liuli raised his head, looked at the still dark sky, and forced back the tears that were welling up.
Chunfeng, do you know that now I only have this little thought left, hoping to see you again in this life, even if it is to see you from a distance.
It finally dawned, and the queen's ceremonial guard arrived at Ciyun Nunnery.
Zhao Liuli hid in her room except when she was chanting sutras, and then hid in her room. She didn't want to see the queen.
It's indescribable to see someone who you looked down upon in the past so bright and beautiful.
However, after the queen finished praying, she asked her specifically and asked her to go over and meet her.
If she had been the Crown Princess in the past, she would never have gone, but if she saw that she was the Queen, what the Queen said was her decree, and she had to obey it, and she did not dare to disobey it.
The queen and the presiding wife were drinking tea in the incense room. When they saw Zhao Liuli walking in, he didn't recognize him at first glance.
In fact, when she was chanting sutras before, she had been looking for Liuli in the crowd of shanis, but everyone was wearing the same monk robes, hats, and heads lowered, so she couldn't tell him apart at all.
When I see it now, I am also surprised. I haven’t seen her for many years. Liuliqing has lost a lot of weight. Her round face has now become a standard oval face. Her pointed chin makes her eyes look particularly big. The loose monk robe is worn on her body. Empty.
When the queen saw her like this, she was filled with emotion. The once glorious Princess Liuli was now like this.
If only she could be a little more tolerant and tolerant, she wouldn't be in this situation today.
She had asked her master before, how was Liuli doing here? The master said that Liuli was very quiet and didn't talk much. She never objected to anything she was asked to do.
The queen sighed silently and motioned for everyone to leave. She wanted to have a few words with Liuli alone.
The room was quiet, with only the scent of sandalwood lingering.
The queen said after careful consideration: "Liu Li, would you like to come back to the palace with me?"
Liuli raised her head, her eyes looking down in surprise.
In all the years she has been here, this is the first time someone has asked her if she would like to return to the palace.
The queen smiled slightly and said: "Before coming here, the emperor mentioned you very much, saying that you have prayed for the Queen Mother Wenwen for many years and are very filial. Now you are still a princess. If you are willing to return to the palace, or if you are willing to remarry, the emperor will do it for you. Call the shots.”
In fact, it was Ye Jinxuan who mentioned this to her, so she told the Queen Mother and the Emperor. The Queen Mother thought that after all, Liuli was the only daughter of the Seven Wise Kings. Even if she did something wrong, the punishment for so many years was enough. She could not It’s really called Liuli’s lifelong Qingdeng Ancient Buddha. The emperor is a filial man, and the queen mother said so, so the emperor naturally has no objection.
A wry smile appeared on Liuli's lips, going back to the palace? As everyone knows, the palace is the place she least wants to stay. She spent her most glorious years in the palace. She asked to come to Ciyun Nunnery because she didn't want to stay there and be ignored.
As for remarriage, who would be willing to marry a notoriously unruly princess and an old abandoned wife? Even if she has to marry because of the majesty of the royal family, I'm afraid she won't treat her sincerely, so why bother to make others dislike her
Unless this person is Chunfeng.
Liuli hesitated for a long time and asked: "Is the Marquis of Jing'an Mansion okay now?"
The queen knew full well that Liuli was thinking about Xia Chunfeng! I couldn't help but think of Ye Jinxuan's words: Liuli had done so many wrong things, but she was sincere to Xia Chunfeng. She was just young and energetic, and was used to being arrogant. Even if she wanted to be nice to someone, she wouldn't do it. Know how to do it. Of course, Chunfeng is very happy now, and it is impossible to renew his relationship with Liuli.
The Queen said with a smile: "The old Marquis of Jing'an Marquis Mansion has retired and lived a leisurely life entertaining his grandchildren at home. Now Xia Chunyu has inherited the title."
After a pause, the queen continued: "Chunfeng is now a general, guarding western Sichuan, and has two sons."
Liuli couldn't tell whether she was happy or disappointed. Fortunately, Chunfeng was so promising. In fact, he didn't like it when the Queen Mother asked him to go to Dali Temple. He wanted to go into battle like the old Marquis and his second brother Xia Chunyu. Killing the enemy, now, he got his wish.
Sadly, Chunfeng married another man and had two sons.
She couldn't help but think that if her child had been saved, maybe there would not have been so many things later.
"I wonder which family's daughter is so lucky?" Liuli smiled, but her heart was extremely bitter.
The queen also hesitated and said, "It's Chen Ya, the daughter of a bachelor of Longyuan Pavilion."
Liuli was stunned, Chen Ya, isn't that Xiaoya? Xiaoya was the daughter of a guilty minister, so she didn't become a slave in the palace. Could it be that her father's case was vindicated
Her face was burning, and complicated emotions were rolling in her heart. She thought she would be the daughter of some family, but it turned out to be her former maid Xiaoya, a mute. Xia Chunfeng was really kind and righteous, marrying a mute, and also helping Her family was rehabilitated.
Isn't it ridiculous? It's so ridiculous. She who was once extremely noble has now become a lay disciple in the nunnery. The girl who was once humble has become the daughter of a bachelor of Longyuan Pavilion and the wife of a general. What an irony!
The queen saw that her face was turning blue and white, and her expression was complicated and difficult to distinguish. She didn't expect that after so long, Liuli still cared so much about this.
"Liu Li, as long as you think about it and figure it out, you will still have a bright future." The queen advised.
Liuli smiled miserably: "Thank you Queen for still thinking of me, but I think this life is very good. I am very quiet here. For the rest of my life, I just want to pray for the Queen Mother and the Emperor and Queen."
The only thought she had was shattered. What else could she hope for
"You don't have to be in a hurry to answer me. You are still young and you still have a long way to go in your life. You should think about it carefully and think it over clearly before someone sends a message to me. I will make arrangements for you." Queen Peacefully.
Liuli lowered her head and remained silent. Is she still young? She is almost thirty, and there can be several thirty in life. If she makes one wrong step or another step, she can no longer look back.
Three days later, Zhao Liuli officially became a nun and became a nun.
In this life, she has too many regrets and regrets, and she hopes she will not have any regrets in the next life.
(End of chapter)