This is how it is.
That morning, Lu Yingjiu agreed to Jingxian's request to change the house and live in a better place.
On the road to choosing a new house, they had some minor disagreements: mainly because Jing Xian really wanted to pay for the house in full out of his own pocket, but Lu Yingjiu didn't want him to pay a penny, because Jing Xian was actually an illegal resident, and the house must be in Lu Yingjiu's name.
"You have so many palaces now." Lu Yingjiu said, "I have to buy one. I don't need the money."
"How can that be the same?" Jing Xian frowned. "I read in a novel that it was the husband who paid for the purchase of the houses. He could buy as many houses as he wanted, with courtyard houses and private gardens, and even the children could get a share."
"What novel are you reading?" Lu Ying asked.
Jingxian found the novel: "Nine Treasures in One Birth: Don't Chase Me, Domineering President".
Lu Yingjiu: “…”
He confiscated the novel on the spot to prevent Jing Xian's love-sickness from getting worse, and he persuaded the Ghost King for three whole days, paying a lot of physical price, and finally coaxed him into reluctantly agreeing not to pay.
After that, the house was located on a quiet road south of the city center. The community is well managed, with high privacy and beautiful greenery. In summer, the roads are full of flowers. The house is more than 200 square meters, with a duplex structure, and the balcony faces the small artificial lake opposite.
Jing Xian asked the decoration team from the ghost world to come over, and after a long time, they finally completed a series of tasks such as laying tiles and painting the walls.
Next, it’s time to choose furniture.
Lu Yingjiu was still afraid of the Yin Shafa, and said that he didn't want Jingxian to give any more advice. But the Ghost King didn't compromise this time, and the next day he asked Gui La to drive a few trucks over and park them in front of his house.
Lu Yingjiu sat cross-legged on the bay window with a sullen face, watching the shivering little ghosts moving things into their new home.
Jing Xian introduced: "This chair is made of pure ghost bones. It won't rot even if it's exposed to wind, rain, or chopped by knives or axes. It also has a heating function. If you like, it can even sing a little song for you in the middle of the night."
Lu Yingjiu said indifferently: "Oh."
Jing Xian added: "This is a new carpet. If you put it outside the door, it can eat up the criminals who break in."
A crack appeared in the carpet, revealing sharp teeth that bit each other with a "clang clang!"
Lu Yingjiu: "... Who on earth would be so unpredictable as to rob our house..."
Not to mention the talisman he pasted on the door, which was enough to bounce the gangster out and cause him to suffer broken bones, and then cry and howl in the hospital for several months. If Jing Xian just brought in a few little ghosts and priests, this room would be no different from hell.
"We should always be on guard against others," Jing Xian pointed at a red curtain, "This is a newly customized curtain. Look at the fabric and color. They are unique to the ghost world, and the stitches are hand-sewn. There's nothing special about it, it just can be haunted."
He patted the curtains.
"Whoosh—" The curtain actually stood up from the ground! Its fabric seemed to be twisted by an invisible hand, forming a weird human figure, walking left and right on the ground, and banging up and down on the stairs.
Lu Yingjiu: “… Make it stop.”
Jing Xian was shocked: "Don't you think it's cute!"
"No," Lu Yingjiu said, "I only know that if it continues to hang around in my house, I will burn it completely and bury the residue in the flowerpot."
Hearing this, Jing Xian hadn't even moved yet, the curtains instantly drooped and lay obediently on the ground, not daring to move.
Next, Jing Xian introduced to him one by one the biting coffee table, the blood-spurting faucet (also known as the blood faucet), the screaming kitchen knife, and the bowls and chopsticks that looked like they were snatched from a cult sacrificial ceremony.
Lu Yingjiu had complained a few times at first, but when more and more strange things crowded into his house, he was no longer able to speak - if any normal person was allowed into his house, they would probably be frightened to death immediately.
Then a few more kids came in with things in their arms. Jing Xian said, "This is the last batch, and it's also the one I like the most."
He patted the box and said, "This is the handcuff sofa, handcuff coffee table, handcuff bathtub and handcuff bed. There are also belt versions of the same style. It depends on which one you like."
Lu Yingjiu: “…”
Lu Yingjiu said: "Jingxian, what do you want to do..."
Jing Xian's eyes sparkled: "I don't want to do anything. I'm definitely not thinking about anything weird."
Lu Yingjiu: “…”
Even if he was thinking with a strand of hair, even if he was a single-celled paramecium, even if he was a speck of dust in the room at this moment, he knew that this statement was not credible.
Jing Xian wanted to sell it: "How about it, don't you think this piece of furniture is great? Every piece was selected by me for our new home."
"Have a nice time." Lu Yingjiu said.
"Hmm?" Jing Xian looked at him.
Lu Yingjiu said: "If this thing doesn't disappear from my sight within five minutes, don't even think about sleeping with me for the next half month."
Under normal circumstances, this threat would have been immediate.
However, Jing Xian hesitated for a rare moment this time, and looked at him and asked, "If I endure it for half a month, does it mean that I can be handcuffed to the sofa in the future?" He had expectations, "If that's the case, I think it's still a good deal."
Lu Yingjiu: “…”
Lu Yingjiu: “Impossible!!!”
In the end, the kids managed to remove the furniture within five minutes.
Some were moved back to the truck, and some were secretly placed in the attic, because Jingxian said that this would be "in case of emergency."
Lu Yingjiu did not go up to see, in order to avoid a spike in his blood pressure, but he knew that Jing Xian must have left behind a set of handcuffs or a belt.
However, it is clear that Lu Yingjiu is not the only one who can persuade someone else.
When it comes to being a demon, Xian Fei never gives in. He coaxed her for a full half month, coupled with enough physical exertion day and night, and finally coaxed Lu Yingjiu into agreeing to take out a "harmless little piece of furniture" -
The furniture he took out was a little shark alarm clock.
Before they officially met, Jing Xian gave Lu Yingjiu a ring in his dream.
This is how he explained: "You dropped the longevity lock on the ground. I thought you didn't like it, so I quickly found something good. Look at the size, color and weight of this diamond ring..."
Lu Yingjiu: “…”
He still keeps the pigeon egg-sized ring in safekeeping, and it is so extravagant that he can hardly take it out.
He also has vivid memories of the diamond ring box.
The main reason is that the diamond ring box will bite people.
- Just like those little shark toys, if you press its teeth one by one, at a certain moment it will bite your finger with a smacking sound.
This alarm clock is the same model as the diamond ring box.
The alarm clock is small, translucent and inlaid with many jewels. It has a strong sense of design and looks like a work of art. It shines brightly under the sun and looks like a fragile item that needs to be handled with care.
"If you don't turn off the alarm within a minute of it going off," Jing Xian said, "it will start biting people."
“…” Lu Yingjiu said, “What am I after?”
"It's interesting, and it doesn't hurt when it bites. This is a new product in the ghost world, and I've never seen it before." Jing Xian said with interest, and put it on the bedside. "Didn't you say you have to get up early tomorrow to try Ye Feng's new wine? Let's set the alarm for seven o'clock."
To be honest, I haven't set an alarm for a long time.
Jing Xian is a qualified human alarm clock... a ghost alarm clock. He doesn't sleep, and even if he takes a nap, he always wakes up on time and wakes up Lu Yingjiu.
That night, he looked at the alarm clock on the bedside table and fell asleep in Jingxian's arms with some suspicion.
The next day, the sun was shining brightly and the curtains floated in the light dust.
Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding—
Ding-ding ...
A shrill bell rang!
Lu Yingjiu suddenly woke up, with a mess of hair on his head, and sat up in confusion.
He woke up, but he was still conscious and didn't know what happened. The smell of food came from the living room. Jing Xian was making breakfast.
Ding-ling-ling
Ding-ling-ling—Ahhhh!
A scream broke out!
Road welcomes wine:?
Before he could react, Jing Xian rushed in with a spatula: "Why are you..."
A black shadow jumped out from the bedside and ran straight towards Jing Xian! Lu Yingjiu looked closely and found that it was the golden alarm clock!
At this moment, a crack appeared in the middle of the alarm clock, and it opened wide. Inside were short teeth like the deciduous teeth of small animals, closing up and down!
"Ahhh!" it screamed, extremely angry.
Lu Yingjiu:? ?!
He was sobered up.
Jing Xian reacted very quickly, he just retracted his feet to avoid its attack, then reached out and turned off the alarm clock and put it back on the bedside.
Lu Yingjiu: “…”
He let the alarm clock incident pass.
After all, Jingxian is only somewhat interested in each piece of furniture. He gets bored after playing with it for a few days and wants to replace it with a new one.
Until one night, when the two of them came back from the bar, took off their shoes and put away their belongings, Maotuan squatted beside them and wagged his tail.
"Woo woo woo!" It suddenly screamed!
Lu Yingjiu looked down and saw the luxurious alarm clock rushing out from the depths of the living room, with its milk teeth bared, biting the fur ball's hind leg!
Lu Yingjiu: “…!”
Maotuan had one of its legs bitten, and it was jumping around in the house, howling like a lively ball. Lu Yingjiu chased after it and tried to rescue Maotuan, while Jing Xian shouted from behind, "Handle it with care! It's fragile!"
After a commotion, the couple finally caught the frightened ball of fur. Lu Yingjiu hugged it, while Jing Xian carefully took off the alarm clock.
Indeed, just as Jing Xian said, the alarm clock was very fragile and several of the jewels inlaid in it had already been broken.
"Ahhh!" Maotuan cursed.
Lu Yingjiu quickly rubbed it and comforted it, and at the same time slapped Jing Xian hard on the head.
But this is just the beginning.
This alarm clock is totally out of control.
Over the next two days, the cow cat and the alarm clock at home got along peacefully, but the two of them and the furry ball were attacked to varying degrees.
The alarm clock was very small and had a special liking for human heels. Whenever Lu Yingjiu stood still for a while in the living room, her heels would be bitten by it.
No pain or itching.
But the feeling of being chased and bitten all the way was still too outrageous. No matter where he went, the alarm clock followed him like an angry puppy, biting his feet persistently.
Lu Yingjiu was really annoyed, and thinking that the gemstone was so beautiful and expensive, he would feel bad if it was bumped. So, every time he tried to divert the blame, he would bring an alarm clock to find Jingxian.
The alarm clock looked fierce, but as soon as it saw Jingxian, it immediately changed its target. Jingxian, on the other hand, was calm and didn't mind at all having such a follower behind him.
It's a pity for Maotuan.
It was so afraid of the alarm clock that it dared not get off the ground. As soon as it arrived in the living room, it had to be held by Lu Yingjiu.
Two days passed like this, and when it was time for the general cleaning, the alarm went completely crazy, screaming "Ahhh!" and attacking everyone indiscriminately. At the critical moment, Jing Xian fully demonstrated his responsibility and commitment. As the ghost king, he picked up Lu Yingjiu with one hand and picked up Maotuan with the other... and stood on the bay window.
The alarm clock couldn't jump up, and it was making an angry "ahhh" and spinning wildly at the bottom.
Jing Xian: “Cute.”
Lu Yingjiu: “Tsk.”
Maotuan: “Woo woo woo woo.”
Lu Yingjiu hugged Jing Xian's neck and said after a long while: "Jing Xian..."
"Huh?" Jing Xian turned around and looked at him.
"Bang!" He was hit hard on the forehead by a bullet.
Then Lu Yingjiu broke free from his embrace, jumped down quickly, and threw the broom at him! The broom pressed down the alarm clock, and with a "clang", it stopped moving completely.
Lu Yingjiu drank two more sips.
When the broom was moved, the jewels were scattered all over the ground with all kinds of brilliant fragments.
Jing Xian: “Ah.”
Lu Yingjiu took a deep breath and said, "Jingxian, you are not allowed to get into my bed tonight."
He does what he says.
The Ghost King spent half the night alone and helpless.
—The reason why it was half the night was because Mao Tuan betrayed the organization and, under the temptation of Skull Head, secretly locked the door for Jing Xian in the middle of the night.
In any case, after the incident with the alarm clock, Lu Yingjiu never gave Jing Xian the chance to try furniture again.
After waiting for more than half a month, when they bought normal furniture, they invited their friends over for dinner to celebrate their move.
Friends crowded into the house, chatting and playing board games. Jing Xian cooked the meal himself, and Lu Yingjiu helped him.
Lu Yingjiu really had no talent for cooking. During this period, he tried to cook for Jing Xianxing, and he didn't know how many pots he had burnt, but as long as the food he cooked didn't cause food poisoning, it was already a very good product.
Lu Yingjiu obviously didn't want everyone to get food poisoning, so he just cut the vegetables honestly. His hands, which had cut the throats of countless evil spirits, held the knife very steadily, and the slices of meat he cut were so thin that they were translucent.
The two worked side by side in perfect harmony to prepare a large table of delicious dishes: beggar's chicken, Dongpo pork, braised prawns, steamed egg, braised tofu and bean sprouts in soup, accompanied by crispy roast pork and duck, and various fried dishes.
When everyone saw it, their eyes widened and they ate with relish.
Ye Feng stuffed a big chicken drumstick in his mouth and said as he chewed it, "Lu Yingjiu, you haven't gained weight yet. It's really a miracle."
"Comparing yourself to others will only make you angry." Chen Xiaoling thrust the fork into the salad viciously. "I just eat a few high-calorie foods and immediately gain a few pounds, and all the fat goes to my face."
Yao Gou: "Delicious! This one is delicious! Oh, that one is not bad either!"
"This craftsmanship is really good..." Zhang Shuwan also praised and drank the wine in his hand.
Only Xiao Li was sitting in the corner, eating the delicious food, but looking upstairs worriedly from time to time.
Is the upstairs a loft? We are all down there, so there shouldn't be anyone there, right
But, he seemed to... vaguely hear something
He pulled Ye Feng's hand weakly and said, "Brother Ye Feng, did you hear any noise upstairs?"
"What?" Ye Feng was still eating a chicken leg. "I guess I heard it wrong. How could there be someone upstairs?"
Xiao Li was skeptical.
After finishing their meal, chatting, and playing board games, Lu Yingjiu received a call saying that a package had been left at the gate of the community and could not be delivered.
Thinking back, it seemed that he was the one who bought the ice cream.
He was afraid that the ice cream would melt, so he hurried to go downstairs. Jing Xian always liked to follow him, so he went downstairs with him.
When the two of them came back with ice cream, as soon as they walked in, they felt the atmosphere was a little different.
Everyone's face... seems a little nervous
They gathered at the foot of the stairs and looked up at the same time.
"What's wrong?" Lu Ying asked drunkenly.
Xiao Li said, "There are always noises in your attic, and we heard it. Brother Ye Feng and Brother Yao Gou went up to take a look." He swallowed, "Could it be a thief..."
Lu Yingjiu: “…”
Thieves are impossible.
But, but there's... in that attic!
Lu Yingjiu shouted: "Ye Feng! Don't open the door!"
However, it was late at night, and Ye Feng finally mustered up the courage to open the attic door.
“Crash—” “Bang, bang, bang!” “Squeak, squeak!”
A chaotic sound came down from upstairs!
All the furniture came rushing down. The chairs were riding on the tables, the bed frames were striding on all fours, the coffee table was laughing strangely, and more and more alarm clocks were rushing down!
"Ahhh!" they cried.
For a moment, the living room was in chaos.
The coffee table was flying in the sky, the curtains were dancing, the bedside table was twisting on the ground, everyone's heels were attacked, and the alarm clocks were biting and running all over the floor.
It can be called a picture scroll of hell.
Lu Yingjiu: “…”
Lu Yingjiu: “…”
By the time he and Jing Xian rescued everyone and sent them out, who were still in shock and screaming that they had left the world, there were still countless eerie pieces of furniture wandering around the house.
The two of them finally packed up all the furniture and put it back in the attic. As the night deepened, Lu Yingjiu leaned back on the sofa, looking at the messy living room, and sighed deeply.
There was silence, Jing Xian knew he was in the wrong.
After a long while he said, "Can I still go to bed tonight?"
Lu Yingjiu smiled and shook his head, saying, "I'm not angry." He grabbed Jingxian's collar, made him lower his head slightly, and they exchanged a slightly tired but lingering kiss.
After the kiss, Jing Xian's eyes were bright, and he put his arm around Lu Yingjiu's waist and whispered, "Are you really not angry?"
"Never." Lu Yingjiu sighed helplessly, "I know you too well. Or, in other words, this kind of thing is too 'relatively easy'. I have already prepared myself mentally."
He laughed again and shook his head: "If you really like this furniture, put it in your home. After all, this is your home. Of course, you can't put too much. Just put one or two pieces at a time..."
Before he could finish his words, he pressed Jing Xian and kissed her again.
Later, they continued to change different types of furniture in their home.
There are screaming alarm clocks, bone chairs, and haunted curtains.
Various styles emerge in an endless stream, and every day is a new surprise.
Of course, there is also the series of handcuffs and belts that Jingxian has been dreaming about, which finally came into play...
As for how many times this series has been played, only Lu Yingjiu himself knows.