Once when I was on an inspection tour to Qinchuan County, the local county lieutenant strongly advised me to go to a scholar's house to watch his daughter perform the Hu Xuan dance. I knew that they were trying to present another beauty to me.
I had nothing to do and there was really nothing to do in this county town, so I went there.
The dancer was a little girl of about fourteen or fifteen years old. She had lively eyes and eyebrows and was indeed a rare beauty. I was somewhat attracted to her.
When I asked her if she was willing to go with me, the child refused outright. She was very straightforward.
I smiled and didn't care. After all, I have no shortage of women, let alone beauties.
Unexpectedly, when I returned to the city, the girl appeared in my house again.
Of course I know what happened. It's just that the people below brought her here, and I believe her parents also agree.
But I don't care, because this happens too often. All the concubines in my backyard came here this way.
After that, whenever I entertained the generals and soldiers, there would be a little dancer at my banquet. She was not the best dancer, nor the most beautiful, but she was the most lively among all.
My subordinates saw that I liked her and intended to have her sleep with me, so one night, the girl dressed up beautifully and walked into my bedroom.
I leaned on the bed, looked at the pretty figure, and asked her to come over.
The girl came to my bed about ten feet away and asked me seriously: "If I sleep with you, will you let me go?"
I laughed. This was the first time someone made such a request to me. Such a young girl, who was still wet behind the ears, was truly ignorant and fearless.
"No." I said with a smile, "You are a gift from your parents. Unless your parents ask me for you, you can only stay in the mansion."
The girl's face suddenly fell and she said, "My father said that I am a dancer in your house, specializing in dancing. Since you can't let me go, why should I sleep with you?" After that, she turned and left.
I remained silent. When I heard someone outside trying to stop her, I shouted at them to release the person.
There are a lot of concubines in the mansion, most of whom I have never touched. As long as I wave my hand, a group of beautiful girls will immediately surround me. So for this girl, I admire her courage, but I am also a little annoyed.
So I treated her as a dancer and invited her to entertain us at every banquet.
Many soldiers took a fancy to her and wanted to take advantage of her, but she picked up a plate of food and poured it on their heads, and loudly accused me, saying that I was not keeping my word and bullying her, a child.
Everyone at the banquet was looking at me. What could I do? I had to appease the soldier whose head was covered in vegetable soup and let Chen Ying go out and stand on his head with the plate for five hours.
Five hours later, it was already dawn. When I got up, I saw the girl in red standing upright under the tree.
She was quite cunning. Although she was standing, she leaned against a big tree and fell asleep.
Look at the plate on her head, which she has tied to her head with a ribbon.
I found it funny and walked over to poke her head.
The girl woke up with a start, and seeing that I didn't feel guilty at all, she asked, "Is it five hours?"
I ignored her and walked away.
I've been very busy recently. There have been frequent bandits in the countryside. Some of them have as many as five or eight hundred people. If we don't suppress them, they will become a big problem.
When I came back two months later, I rewarded the soldiers again.
This time the girl was called to dance again, and no soldier dared to provoke her.
There was still some verbal banter, but the girl didn’t care.
A year passed in a flash, and the girl grew up and became more beautiful.
Whenever she walked past the soldiers, she attracted everyone's attention.
Of course, I was also moved.
Everyone loves beauty, so I summoned her again.
She stood in front of my bed and asked the same question: "I will sleep with you, can you let me go? My adoptive parents are suffering in the countryside, I want to go see them."
I embraced her, kissed her, and held her in my arms. "Since you slept with me, how can I let you go? Otherwise, I will ask someone to check on your adoptive parents and give them some money."
The girl nodded, then quickly shook her head, pushing me away, "Then... let's talk about it after I find out about my adoptive parents. I... I can't sleep with you now."
She pushed me away with great force, then turned and ran away.
I closed my eyes and gasped for a long time before my anger subsided.
At this moment, I really wanted to ignore everything and take her into the room, but my mind told me that I couldn't force her.
This child has a stubborn temper. From what I have investigated about her family, I can see that she is a little firecracker who is fearless.
If I make her angry, she can do anything and embarrass me in front of all the soldiers.
Of course, it’s not that I was afraid of her. After all, I just liked her a little, so I indulged her again.
Afterwards, I asked someone to check on her adoptive parents, and we got the news that they had died of an epidemic a few years ago, leaving behind only two adopted brothers, one of whom was mentally retarded and the other was sickly.
I told her the news. The girl burst into tears and suddenly knelt down in front of me, asking me to let her go, saying that she wanted to go back to look after her two younger brothers.
As she said this, she untied her belt, threw herself into my arms, and said she would help me to bed.
I frowned, pushed her away, stood up and left.
After that, I ignored her for more than half a year and never summoned her, but I ordered the servants to keep an eye on her to prevent her from doing anything out of line.
The girl was very depressed for a while. She asked a soldier to send the silver and copper coins she had saved to her brother, and also entrusted her clothes to a servant to pawn them.
The servant didn't dare to do that and just refused to take over.
I was a little annoyed when I knew all these things. She didn't come to me for help, but instead entrusted my subordinates to do so.
I simply stopped caring about her and let her do whatever she wanted.
Once, a young general suddenly asked me to marry Chen Ying, which made me a little annoyed because this general was the one who helped her carry things to her brother.
Of course I couldn't agree to that and just give a dancer to this general.
This dancer also performed the Hu Xuan dance and often had conflicts with Chen Ying.
But not long after, Chen Changping brought his second daughter to me.
Looking at the face that looked so much like Chen Ying, I accepted her.
But even if the face is similar, the person is not that person. When I was venting my anger, I was thinking nastily in my heart, wondering if Chen Ying would feel jealous.
I also ostentatiously gifted gold, silver, jewelry, and silk to Chen Changping's second daughter, hoping to arouse the girl's jealousy.
But no, she acted as if nothing happened and rejected my advances again.
I was very angry, so I asked her to dance at the banquet and she was not allowed to stop until I told her to.
She danced continuously for an hour and finally collapsed.
I was very panicked at that moment, but someone rushed in front of me, picked her up and ran outside the hall to call the court doctor.
Finally, the court doctor diagnosed that she had sprained her ankle, and I asked her to dance for more than an hour.
I was annoyed and distressed, and asked someone to serve me well.
I went to see her in the evening, held her hand and promised her that as long as she was obedient, I would take her as my concubine after her injury healed.
She wasn't very happy, she just asked me: "If I become a concubine, can I go out freely?"
I remained silent, got up and left.
She did it on purpose, to make me mad.
Later, her legs and feet recovered, and she became much quieter and no longer climbed walls and trees from time to time.
I happened to be very busy recently and didn't have much time to visit her.
Once, I saw her chatting with several young generals in the outer courtyard, which made me alert, so I moved my office outside and asked two maids to guard the gates of the inner and outer courtyards to prevent people from entering or leaving.
But the old woman stopped the generals, but she couldn't stop Sanlang and Wei's seventh son.
One day, they broke into Chen Ying's yard and watched her taking a bath.
Afterwards he ran up to me and asked me for Chen Ying.
I was furious and immediately ordered my servants to beat Sanlang ten times.
The stepmother was so distressed that she cried and made a fuss, and finally took Sanlang back to her parents' home.
I remain unmoved.
Since my father passed away, I believe I have always been friendly to my brothers, respectful to my stepmother, and have never been harsh on them. But Sanlang is too dissolute. Not only does he often harasses the inner courtyard, but this time he even coveted the girl I love. I cannot tolerate this.
One day, Chen Zhao came to me and told me that her third sister had climbed over the wall and ran away.
I was shocked and immediately led my men to chase him out of the mansion and notified all the city gates to be closed immediately.
I sent out more than a thousand soldiers to search the city, and finally captured her in a clothing store.
When I took the bag off her, I saw it was filled with all the gold, silver, jewels and ornaments I had given her.
"Why did you run away?" I asked through gritted teeth.
She lied with her eyes wide open: "I didn't run away, I just came out to buy some food. Your food is terrible."
I was so angry that I laughed and poked the bag: "What is this?"
She blinked and said, "I don't have any money, I want to change some money to spend."
I knew in my heart that what she said was true. She had given all the money to the soldiers to take to her brother, and the things in her hands were all jewellery and other things I had given her.
As for whether her brother received it or not, I don’t care.
I handed the bag to the adjutant and dragged her away: "In that case, what do you want to eat? I'll pay for it."
She followed me obediently and wanted to buy some candied haws when she saw them.
I bought a few and she ate them all the way back home, and even stuffed one into my mouth.
At this moment, the anger in my chest disappeared without a trace left.
At night, I stayed in her yard and forced myself on her.
She was very angry and scratched and bit me, but I enjoyed it.
I thought that when I finished my mission this time, I would give her the status of a concubine.
In autumn, bandits were causing chaos in various places, and foreign nations were also ready to invade our borders.
I was ordered to go to the front line to assist, so I asked everyone in the mansion to take good care of the family and keep an eye on Chen Ying.
Before leaving, I kissed her forehead and said, "Be good and wait for me at home. If you feel unwell, ask the palace doctor to take your pulse. If you need anything, just ask the steward and he will get it for you."
In fact, I hope she gets pregnant now and gives birth to a child for me. If so, having her in my life will be enough.
But I didn't dare give her any money. I had put all the jewelry into the warehouse and would return them to her when I came back.
Because I can't guarantee that she won't run away again if she has money.
During the months at the border, I thought about her every day. I would buy anything interesting I saw and bring it to her when I returned to make her happy.
Thinking of her angry little expressions, I feel itchy.
That day, I suddenly received a letter from the housekeeper saying that Chen Ying had escaped.
My heart felt as if a basin of cold water had been poured over it in the coldest days of winter, chilling me to the bone.
After the war finally ended, I hurried back to the mansion.
As expected, she was gone. I turned over the pillow and saw a letter.
In the letter she asked me not to look for her and told me that she only took her clothes and nothing else.
At the end, she added that she had the opportunity to escape thanks to Chen Zhao's help.
I knew what the latter sentence meant. She wanted to attribute her escape to Chen Zhao.
As she wished, I beat Chen Zhao with fifty sticks and drove her out of the house.
As for Chu Yan who helped her escape, I can't touch him yet.
But he had to give me an explanation.
Chu Yan knelt in front of me and told me that Chen Ying was from the same hometown as him. He felt sorry for her because she was always worried about her brother, so he sent her out of the city, because he also had a sister, but she was killed by bandits.
I was silent for a long time, and then asked him to go out and receive fifty lashes.
Afterwards I sent people to look for her everywhere, but there was no trace of her. Finally, I asked people to guard near Jiangjia Village. If she was not dead, she would go there to find her brother eventually.
More than half a year later, I finally got news of her.
It turned out that she disguised herself as a beggar and returned to Qinchuan County. She then started a small business in Qinchuan County. After saving some money, she went to look for her brother.
Seeing that her younger brothers were so miserable, she took them to live in the county town.
Only then did she realize that in addition to using the money she had sent to pay for her brother's medical treatment, part of it was also kept by her cousin's wife.
After Chen Ying took her brothers to the county town, she went out to do business alone and often hung out among ruffians. I asked a local gang leader to take good care of her and not allow anyone to touch her, otherwise they would be severely punished.
The gang leader agreed and asked his men to be polite to her.
I was angry and didn't want to care about her anymore, but she was all on my mind and I couldn't let her go, so I could only leave her alone and let her have a few days of freedom.
It happened that the court was unstable at that time, and many people were ready to make moves, so I had no time to take care of my children's personal affairs.
I thought that once the court was stabilized and she had had enough of her madness, I would bring her and her two siblings back.
However, when the court was being rectified, someone impeached Chen Changping for corruption, bribery, and bullying the people.
This matter was not investigated by me, and I had no intention of exonerating him, so Chen Changping was dismissed from his post and investigated.
I don't care because my girl doesn't like her parents and doesn't depend on them to live.
A year later, I suddenly received a message that Chen Ying had hanged himself.
I was so shocked and angry that my hands were shaking as I held the letter.
How could my girl hang herself? She was so full of life, and even after going through so much hardship to get back home, what reason did she have to hang herself
I immediately sent someone to investigate, and found out that she was killed by her biological parents.
"Find them! Bring them back! I will deal with them personally." I sent people to look for Chen Changping's family, and ended up finding them at King Cheng's place.
It just so happened that I received news that King Cheng was planning a rebellion, so I wiped him out in one fell swoop.
When I brought the family back, I interrogated them one by one, starting with their servants.
A servant told the whole story in detail, including who was the first to discover her whereabouts.
The servant said, "The eldest lady came to the county town to sell fish and accidentally saw the third lady. She followed her and found where she lived. She told the young master and the lady and then took them to the small courtyard. The lady ordered me to beat the third lady's brother, and then she strangled the third lady to death. I didn't dare to kill anyone. The lady did it herself. The eldest lady stood outside the fence and watched, but didn't stop them."
I waved my hand and asked someone to take them down, and then asked someone to bring the Chen family over.
I looked at the frail woman below, wondering how she could strangle a strong, living man.
So I told her that if she strangled her eldest daughter with her own hands, I would spare her life.
The woman agreed without a second thought and put the belt around her eldest daughter's neck with her own hands.
I just watched it and felt very bored.
The truth is, ever since my girl died, I haven't been interested in anything.
Even though some people later advised me to have more children, kill the little emperor, and ascend the throne myself, I still found it meaningless.
Women, I have plenty in my backyard, but none of them can enter my heart.
That girl is no longer there.
I found many people who were similar to her, but they still couldn't drive away the sadness in my heart.
Every time I think of it, my heart aches.