Qin Lu was not the character he is now from the very beginning.
At that time, Qin Lu, who was really eighteen years old, was actually quite different in character from the now mature and reliable Qin Lu.
Qin Lu, who was 18 years old in the last life, was not so calm, not so reliable, and not so keen and good at capturing and caring about the emotional changes of others.
He is just an ordinary student who wants to go out and play when he is studying, is a little happy when he is noticed, and feels controlled by staying with his parents for a long time.
I care about the friends around me, but it belongs to the kind of care that others will believe it is true and don’t go into it when they say “it’s okay”, and they don’t think too much about it.
A person's character is constantly changing, and the shape of the soul is trimmed by the experience of life, just like eighteen, twenty-eight, thirty-eight years old. If two people, because people change with different experiences, with age and experience.
At that time, he was just a student who had just entered university and would consider which club he would sign up for this semester, and which movie he would go to see with his classmates on the day of no class.
I will not go home on weekends because my parents are busy with work and forget to contact him, I will run all the way because I set the wrong alarm clock and almost missed the exam, I can't notice why my friends are upset, I can't notice when my parents are tired from work and need to relax. Not listening to complaints.
The day of the competition was the day his former parents left.
Calendula is Qin Lu's mother's favorite flower. Qin Lu is used to seeing golden bouquets in vases at home all the year round, but boys in their teens are not interested in flowers, so they have never looked at them seriously.
Until he knew that his mother would not come back.
That day, Qin Lu rushed home from school overnight. When he opened the door, he lowered his head and stepped on something.
He fumbled to turn on the light, which came on for a moment with a tiny sting.
Qin Lu's mother is a person who loves life very much. Her father's slippers are matching with her, and they are clean light blue. One pair was neatly placed, and at first glance, Qin Lu would step on the other if he was in a hurry to go out and kick it randomly.
He couldn't make any expression, and looked up slowly. On the sofa, there were still dad's shirts and half a piece of bread that had not been put away when he left in a hurry.
Whole wheat, very plain but my mom likes it.
He didn't know how long he stood and watched, until his legs became stiff and numb, until the sky turned from dark to light, and the sun shone into the living room as usual.
I used to feel warm, but now I feel inhuman.
Qin Lu came back to his senses numbly, lowered his head expressionlessly and thought, don't wait.
When he heard the news of the accident, he only felt absurd and strangely calm, never feeling real, not even shedding tears.
However, standing in the quiet home where the needles could be heard, and the house was empty but full of traces of life, Qin Lu finally collapsed and crouched down and cried bitterly.
The marigolds on the windowsill are splendidly blooming, and my mother carefully maintains them and takes good care of them.
However, he found that he couldn't take care of a single flower, even to prevent it from decaying.
Qin Lu didn't go to school anymore, so he turned off his mobile phone to avoid contact with the outside world.
He didn't want to hear his friends ask him "How are you?" and he didn't want to force himself to answer "Don't worry."
He's not good at all.
For a long time, he mostly sat in front of the window silently watching the bunch of flowers in a daze, until the bunch of marigolds went from brilliant and full of vitality to gradually withering.
The slippers were still placed as their parents left, the shirt was still thrown on the sofa, and the bread on the table was spoiled and speckled. Qin Lu didn't move.
He was waiting for them to come back and collect it himself.
When Qin Lu saw his parents for the last time, his mother rambled on telling him to remember to wear more clothes. The temperature in late autumn and early winter changed greatly, so remember to check the weather forecast before going out every day. But his left ear went in and his right went out, and he nodded his head on the surface. In fact, he was thinking that no one would nag him at school. He should have time to play basketball with his roommates in the evening. Tomorrow's class should not be named.
He tried very hard to recall, but he couldn't even remember his mother's expression at that time.
Because he didn't even pay attention.
It was only later that he realized that some bland routines that he didn't care about at the time could not be taken for granted and continued. And once lost, even if you sincerely regret it, you will never have the chance to come back again.
What was lost will be lost forever, those happiness that once didn't care but can't come back are forever stuck in memory, and he can't even remember the conversation at that time and the other party's expression, because he didn't listen carefully, didn't pay attention, the longer the time , the memories are only fragmented and fragmented.
Qin Lu learned to cherish in the pain that almost destroyed him.
Will listen carefully, will seriously understand the emotional changes of the other party in the dialogue, will give enough attention to the people around.
Because when he was in pain, he hoped that someone could tell him how to go on with his life, and that someone would be willing to bring him back to the world.
What he wants to get, he has to give first.
Having been in the ivory tower built by his parents, it took Qin Lu several years to regain his strength, only to find that life is not as easy as he imagined.
For a long time, he lacked communication with the outside world. Qin Lu was a little stiff and rigid. He was frustrated with many things because he found that the most natural "fairness" in school was the most ridiculous and naive thing in society.
In the past, as long as he studied hard, even if he couldn't convert 100%, even if he couldn't get 100% first place, at least he could see his grades improve little by little with how much effort he put in.
The college entrance examination only depends on the scores. As long as the scores are high enough, you can go to a better school.
But the work is not the same, it is not that the stronger the ability, the smoother the journey.
Qin Lu suffered a lot and made many detours, but he finally found what he wanted to do and had a clear direction.
Everyone is influenced, polished, and changed a little by everything they experience in life, and finally constitutes the current individual.
That's why everyone is unique, because there are only similar experiences in this world, and no life is exactly the same, and even a small thing may affect the character and the direction of life.
Qin Lu used to bring a bunch of marigolds when he went home. He learned to take care of flowers and plants, and he was no longer the student who could only watch it wither.
As a singer's unhappy old friend, he came to the house as a guest. After seeing the marigolds, he drew them. He is a person with great artistic talent, but it is a pity that he has done a very bad job in gaining public recognition.
Qin Lu learned from him how to draw marigolds, and an old friend wrote a song for it. At first, Qin Lu just laughed and listened to it, but later he realized that he had always misunderstood its meaning.
He only knows that marigold means parting, but Qin Lu's mother has always loved life, and what she wants to express is a more positive meaning.
There is more than one flower language of calendula, as if there is more than one way to interpret life.
Depending on the point of view of the question, the answer will be different.
For this song about marigolds, my friend named it according to the language of flowers, "The Happiness That Will Come".
Qin Lu blinked his eyes in a daze. He could feel something cold and hot falling down, and he could see Bai Canduo's nervous expression clearly.
He raised his hand and wiped it off without panic. He pointed out the window with a serious smile, and explained, "Ah, I'll be dazed when I accidentally look outside. The sun is more dazzling than I thought."
Because Qin Lu's tone was too ordinary, and Bai Chanduo was just not good at Chinese and looked clumsy, but he was actually very smart, so he didn't ask Qin Lu what was wrong, he just nodded along, "Sunshine, indeed, dazzling! Next time! , don't, look at it."
Qin Lu pursed his lips and nodded with a smile: "Yes."
Knowing that Qin Lu wanted to be alone, Bai Canduo found a reason to leave.
Qin Lu leaned against the window sill with a pen and lowered his head to write the last lyric in the notebook.
No one knew that this lyric was written for his past, and it seemed that he could finally try to let go of the things he had been pretending to be relieved and actually escaping.
The first book title on the notebook was empty. After Qin Lu wrote all the lyrics, he filled it with a smile without hesitation.
Just like his life, although he can't repeat it, he finally has the ability to feel happiness again. I believe that old friends will not mind, the name of the song is the same as the one he gave him.
"Happiness That Will Come".