During the conversation with Yi Xun, Xu Tangcheng didn't say a word to Yi Zhe. Even if he knew that this was wrong, Xu Tangcheng chose to cover up these things as he watched YiZhe try to squeeze his eyes into the narrow gap between people to find the people who were already waiting for the security check.
The love for his younger brother has probably always belonged to the softest place in Yi Zhe's heart, and he has been carefully guarding and taking care of him for so many years. If it was just giving, it would be fine if there was no expectation, but he was clearly looking forward to it, and he always thought that the other party had the same mood as himself. Otherwise, they wouldn't always run all the way to see them during the holidays.
The "sacrifice" in the past, the care now, and even the uncooked fried rice that I asked him where to buy it all came from this unreserved love. Underneath this love lies a precious heart.
Yi Xun didn't understand, but Xu Tangcheng cherished it. He wanted to protect the soft and kind boy who was accustomed to silence in his memory, and he couldn't bear to let him experience the disintegration of the softest place in his heart.
Even if he has to face it sooner or later, at least not now - not when he has not yet tasted the feeling of being loved, let him lose even the feeling of being a lover.
When the two walked through the hall side by side, the strong hot wind caused Tang Cheng to be in a trance for a short time. Xu Tangcheng kept looking at the ground and thought about something that was easily incomprehensible.
The traveler was in a hurry, causing him to stagnate and tilt his body. A hand immediately supported him and pulled him to his side, avoiding the stream of people who came over.
"Are you all right?"
Hearing this voice, Xu Tangcheng raised his head. Fragmented words hovered in the stomach for a long time, and were dragged and lined up, but they hadn't formed yet, and they seemed to be scattered by this collision again.
The surroundings were very chaotic, and he replied "it's fine", but he didn't know if it had reached YiZhe's ears.
A girl with earphones walked in front. When passing her, Xu Tangcheng heard her humming a song—
I hope that every dream you have in the future will not be in vain.
He is not too impressed with this song, because it is not his favorite among Faye Wong's songs. But the song is good and the lyrics are good, and he has listened to it many times, listening to this human world sung gently and tenderly.
Xu Tangcheng remembered that he sang a lot of "hope" in this song, but among these many beautiful hopes, the one that touched him the most was just a "noisy".
Very ordinary words, but when he first listened to this song, it brought him the most shock and thought. Until now, he felt that the word really meant warmth. Because it was the first time that Faye Wong sang this word in a lazy manner, he felt the warmth all over his body.
Now the airport is also noisy, but not like this.
People live in the world, talking about living in a broad human world. There are thousands of voices and all-encompassing things, but most of them have nothing to do with themselves. Irrelevant sounds are noise and silence. And when a person is regarded as a baby, his emotions, sorrows and joys will be infinitely magnified in his own world, whether it is a relative, a lover, or a friend. He likes or laughs, and he likes and laughs with him. His sorrow or tears will also become his own infinite disturbance.
This is the human room. Far from the concept of the general public.
Thinking of this, Xu Tangcheng suddenly stopped and looked at YiZhe's back.
He didn't know what YiZhe's world was like, but he thought, it must be much quieter than his own.
YiZhe habitually tilted his head slightly and glanced back. He didn't see Xu Tangcheng, so he immediately stopped and turned to look for it. But separated by three or two people, he saw Xu Tangcheng staring blankly at him.
He strode back, lowered his head slightly and asked, "What's wrong?"
Xu Tangcheng shook his head: "It's okay."
It was foggy in Beijing and the flight was delayed. They originally expected to send Yi Xun away after lunch and go back to school, but they didn't think that when they drove out of the airport, only half of the sun was hanging in the sky.
The car had been parked for a long time, so that the temperature inside the car was too low. When it was just started, the steering wheel froze Xu Tangcheng enough. He pressed his palm against the steering wheel, his fingers curled together, rubbing against each other.
YiZhe noticed and asked, "Is it cold?"
"A bit." Xu Tangcheng turned his head and glanced at him quickly, "It may also be because my hands were cold, but now I feel like I'm holding an ice cube."
YiZhe was thinking about how to deal with the cold hands, when he saw Xu Tangcheng suddenly stretched out a hand towards him.
"You feel the feeling."
It was also a coincidence that the sun was about to set right in front of them, and the afterglow jumped on Xu Tangcheng's fingertips recklessly.
YiZhe looked at his slightly curved fingers, and suddenly had a very strange feeling, as if the light was not on his fingertips, but stars grew out of his fingertips.
He was stunned by the childish thought of his own, and did not notice the silence that he brought.
Xu Tang Xingxiang was very patient. He held the steering wheel firmly with the other hand, his eyes were always looking straight ahead, and he never retracted the outstretched hand.
However, the surface is calm, but waiting is not calm. The two of them didn't make another sound, as if they were cautiously trying to approach on a solemn occasion.
The hand that had been on his leg moved, causing Xu Tangcheng's heart to tremble. But before the next action happened, the phone rang abruptly, disturbing the deformed air in the car.
As if woken up, Xu Tangcheng immediately withdrew his hand. He lowered his head slightly, picked up the phone, and before he had time to look at the caller ID, he pressed the speaker.
There was a completely different atmosphere on the other end of the phone. In the noisy environment, Lu Ming asked Xu Tangcheng loudly if he had returned to Beijing.
Xu Tangcheng cleared his throat and managed to calm down: "I'm back, I'm on my way to school."
Talking on the phone, he was still distracted thinking about what happened just now.
He admitted that it was a deliberate move. He had been trying to organize a speech since yesterday, but he still didn't know where to start. The wrong choice made him miss the opportunity that was closest to him. Pushing him away in the past has become a reason for worry at this moment, and what is even more worrying is that he does not know where YiZhe has retreated.
He has never had any experience in love, and he has never tried to get close to others and give hints on this kind of thing. It was unfavorable for him to leave the apprenticeship just now, so that he could still notice his hot ears while talking to Lu Ming at the moment.
At that time, he was hiding in a panic, but now that people have died down, he has started to do these unexplained things again, and he has not yet received a response.
It seems a little abrupt and a little embarrassing.
"Then come and play with us. Today, Senior Yu An is celebrating his birthday."
"I'm not going..." Xu Tangcheng had no intention of attending any party, and his first reaction was to find a reason to refuse. But before he could find this reason, Lu Ming had already shouted again, and he must come over.
"I just came back today, and I went to the airport to send people off. I'm very tired..."
Before he could finish speaking, he suddenly stopped, causing the person on the other side to think it was disconnected, and repeated "hello" several times.
"It's quite cold."
On the steering wheel, the hand that covered his right hand quickly moved away. As a driver, there was a momentary blank in Xu Tangcheng's mind dangerously.
He turned to look at YiZhe, but saw that he looked as usual. He reached out and pressed the air conditioner button twice to increase the temperature of the heater in the car. And the temperature on the back of his hand for just a second seemed to still stubbornly remain.
Lu Ming probably heard Yi Zhe's words vaguely, and was shouting loudly at the moment, asking what Xu Tangcheng had just said.
The warm air flowed out, causing a restless whine, which matched Lu Ming's increasing volume and gradually increasing speed of speech.
The throbbing was sudden and subtle.
Xu Tangcheng squeezed the steering wheel hard, and at this moment decided, what appropriate words and what words needed to be organized, he gave up.
"Let's go." Xu Tangcheng said.
"You?" Lu Ming paused, then immediately asked the subject: "Who are you with?"
"Easy."
He didn't want to get entangled on this issue, and after saying the name, he added: "We won't go to the billiard hall, tell me about the restaurant, we're walking back from the airport, let's catch up with you for dinner. ."
He made a decision on his own without consulting Yi Zhe, feeling that he turned his head to look at himself at the time, but also pretended not to notice and deliberately ignored it.
When he hung up the phone, Yi Zhe said, "I'm not going."
But Xu Tangcheng said: "Go ahead, I guess they must drink, maybe they will go to KTV after dinner, some wine can't be pushed off at the birthday party, I'm afraid I'll drink too much."
However, Yi Zhe knew nothing about Xu Tangcheng's alcohol intake, nor did he know much about Xu Tangcheng who was drinking. He is selfish and has something he wants to hide. Thinking of this, he immediately ignored that this was Yu An's birthday party, and felt that he must go.
"Well, then I'll go."
It's effortless to persuade. The deepening of this understanding will actually make Xu Tangcheng feel happy.
At the intersection of the five fork roads, the red light time is extraordinarily long. Ninety seconds is enough to supply emotional changes. The sweetness at that point gradually faded away, and then it turned into regret and guilt.
The person around him can be persuaded by his "afraid of drinking", and he can even notice a little embarrassment and erase it for him. He took care of all his feelings, and he had put him in an emotionally distressed situation for so long, and even a few minutes ago, he was still weighing right and wrong and advancing and retreating.
He was afraid that if he said something to him that he liked him, he would not believe it, and he was afraid that he had already given up the idea...
His habitual thinking makes him always consider things out of the overall situation, and never put aside all external factors, and simply ask himself whether he wants it, whether he wants it, whether he likes it or not.
The red light has passed, and he hasn't left yet. The vehicle behind honked its horn to urge, and YiZhe also called out to him, reminding him, "The light is green."
The vehicle moved forward as if heading into a sunset. He also watched the white sunset.
He was entangled in the future, worried about his family, and all the questions he had considered and feared were still chaotic to this day, with no answers. The problems he faced were no different from those more than a month ago. The only difference was that he wanted to understand one thing—if even a touch of his could make his heart move, what kind of restraint and right or wrong would he be talking about.
There are some things that you don't know it's an accident that you can let yourself not do. All love happens in sobriety, and sobriety doesn't mean you can't go mad.
Even if the road ahead is chaotic, walking with him will be considered human.
They hurry and hurry, but still can't make it on time. The people at the table got excited when they caught the two latecomers, and they had to punish them three times. Xu Tangcheng still has some experience in dealing with this set, he said with a smile: "What you said doesn't count, only what you say is counted."
He looked at Yu Eu across the table and asked, "Brother Eu, do you want to drink?"
Xu Tangcheng asked this question because he knew that Yu An knew about his alcohol intake. In the past, when the laboratory went out to dinner, Yu An would help him explain to the junior and junior brothers who wanted to drink with him, and even help him block. He thought that Yu An would never let him drink it, but he didn't think so. Shou Xing put his arms on the table and looked at him with a smile: "Have you prepared a birthday present for me? You don't need to drink it if you have a birthday present."
Xu Tangcheng just found out about his birthday, where is there any birthday present.
"No," Yu An naturally expected, "then you..."
"I drink."
Yu An just gave a meaningful long sound when YiZhe interrupted him by throwing out two words. Without saying a word, he drank the three glasses of wine set out for them on the table, and before the rest of the people made trouble with Xu Tangcheng, he directly said, "It's because I was late, so I also drink his."
After drinking one of these three glasses of wine, the people below reacted and immediately began to shout "No". Xu Tangcheng also quickly grabbed the hand that Yi Zhe was going to hold the wine glass, and snatched the second glass of wine from his hand.
YiZhe turned his head to look at him, thinking that he would explain that he was driving, but he didn't expect Xu Tangcheng to directly put a whole glass of wine to his mouth. He started pouring, others were applauding, but Yi Zhe hurried to stop him.
"Hey," Lu Ming shouted at Yi Zhe, "My brother is drinking, why are you stopping me?"
"He drives a car and can't drink."
"That's fine." Lu Ming clapped his hands, "I'll go and sing next to me later. After singing, I will stay upstairs where I can't walk. The senior said, I'll treat you to the end today."
Xu Tangcheng kept ignoring what Lu Ming and the others said. He pulled Yi Zhe's wrist with his other hand and pulled him away, then raised his head and drank the remaining two glasses without letting go. The wine glass was huge, and Xu Tangcheng was already dizzy when he sat down. It wasn't until Yu An greeted him to eat that he realized that he was still holding on to Yi Zhe's wrist.
There is something under the hand, hard. Xu Tangcheng lowered his head a little slowly, pulled YiZhe's sleeves, and found that it was the watch he had given him.
He stared at it, and the hand in his hand ducked back. He pulled hard, looked up again, and looked at the people around him at the noisy banquet.
Xu Tangcheng felt that he must be a little drunk, the face of the person in front of him kept shaking, but no matter where he swayed, those eyes were looking at him.
Is it the Mona Lisa? He laughed, it was his own Mona Lisa too.
YiZhe didn't know what Xu Tangcheng was laughing suddenly, but when he laughed, he couldn't help shaking his hand, and accidentally grabbed the row of fingers he placed in his palm.
Before he had time to let go, before he had time to retreat, he had already been dragged and leaned over.
Xu Tangcheng turned sideways, put one foot on the bar under the chair, and pulled his hand to his knee. He leaned forward as well, leaning closer to YiZhe's face to whisper to him.
"I'm going to have to drink later, maybe even when I go to KTV. If I drink too much, remember to get me away. We won't go back to the dormitory, we'll open a room here."
YiZhe nodded, he pursed his lips, hesitated for a few seconds, and asked, "Can I stay at the hotel he invited?"
"Of course," Xu Tangcheng said quickly, "Where do you want to live."
"it is good."
It was rare that Xu Tangcheng could still think of a very practical problem at this time. He grabbed YiZhe's hand and shook it: "Did you bring any money?"
If it wasn't for his shaking, YiZhe would have almost forgotten that his hand was still being held by him in the public. Or rather, he forgot to let go of him.
Fortunately, there was a tablecloth covering it, and the people on the table were busy gags and teasing each other, and no one noticed.
"Bring it."
YiZhe lowered his eyes, looked at the place where the two were holding hands, and then watched himself slowly let go of the hand that was holding him.
Xu Tangcheng noticed it, but immediately held his hand with both hands to prevent him from withdrawing. He put his two thumbs in the palm of his hand, and then slowly pushed them away along the lines of his palm, stroking the edge of the palm. YiZhe was slightly stunned, his eyes following his fingers.
It feels a bit like being outdoors in early spring, with fluffy catkins rubbing against slightly dry skin.
Xu Tangcheng kept repeating this action, and the two people sat there as if they were still. After a while, Yi Zhe heard him say something so beautiful. He didn't understand whether it was a hand or a watch, so he leaned over his head and asked, "What?"
The man who had been laughing didn't answer, but suddenly got closer to him and said, "Find me a cleaner hotel."
Yi Zhe felt that Xu Tangcheng was different tonight, because he found that he couldn't understand his meditation or his smiling eyes. He guessed that maybe the alcohol had formed a barrier that prevented him from reading his data
But I don't think so. The last time he was drunk, he clearly understood very well.
Before he could understand, Xu Tangcheng had already let go of his hand, turned around, and put a piece of burnt eggplant on his plate.