The eyes of the father and son exchanged in the air, and it was obvious that Xu Yueliang was more calm.
"Does your job only have positions in Beijing?"
Xu Tangcheng finally understood what the so-called "talk" was about. His heart was beating wildly.
"Is there no such thing as a business trip to Sanya?"
Xu Tangcheng shook his head: "No."
The atmosphere at the dinner table suddenly became dull, and even Xu Tangxi stopped serving dishes, left a chicken wing in the bowl uneaten, and stared at his parents blankly.
"But..." Xu Tangxi knew what her parents meant, she couldn't help but wanted to help Xu Tangcheng, so she said, "But didn't you say before that all the relatives in the family are here and don't go anywhere else."
In fact, after graduating from high school, Xu Tangcheng discussed with Xu Yueliang and the others whether to consider going to the south in the future. Finding a small city with good air and good climate may be more suitable for Xu Tangxi to live than here. But at that time, everyone felt that the environment at home was not bad. In addition, Zhou Hui said that a lot of relatives were here, and they didn’t want to run so far. It was boring to be unfamiliar with the place of life.
"It's not that you never come back. It's because you have been uncomfortable for the past two years and want you to take care of yourself first." Xu Yueliang turned his attention to Xu Tangcheng, "Tang Cheng, why don't you change your job, just now? It won’t take long for you to join the job, so it won’t have a big impact on you. Regarding work, Cheng Cheng’s mother said that she can help, and it is also a Beijing company that is your professional counterpart, and it also happens to have a project in Hainan.”
Xu Tangcheng didn't expect that his parents had arranged things in such a detailed manner during this period of time. His head was a little messy, and he couldn't find a decent excuse. He was speechless for a while, biting two chopsticks and standing there silently.
Zhou Hui remained silent. Half of the braised fish on the table had been eaten. She moved her chopsticks and turned the fish over.
This action Xu Tangcheng is very familiar with.
"It's also New Year's Day, and it's not far from the New Year's Day. Mama Chengcheng is still urging me to book tickets quickly." Zhou Hui's words were indifferent, but light and clever, pushing Xu Tangcheng to the end." We want to order a few, Tang Cheng, give me the number."
Xu Tangcheng didn't have any impression of when the chopsticks in his hand started to be clenched. When he felt the pain, he realized that it was the fingernails of his thumbs that had been pinching the knuckles of his middle fingers.
"Dad... why didn't you discuss with me in advance. Brother, this job is very good, he likes it... "
"You can find another job," Zhou Hui interrupted Xu Tangxi, meaning, "But people are for life."
No one answered, and no one dared to answer. No one in the family looked at anyone, they all stared at a rice bowl in front of them.
When she spoke again, Zhou Hui's voice changed a bit.
"People live forever... there is no turning back."
"I like this job very much, and you all know the conditions offered by the other party at the time, the contract..." Xu Tangcheng paused, he didn't notice it himself, the tip of his index finger swiped on the table, and then the whole hand gradually gradually Tightening, clenched into a fist, "The contract is for five years. If you want to break the contract, it will be very troublesome."
"Crack." A pair of chopsticks were pressed onto the table with a lot of strength.
"When did you..." Zhou Hui looked at Xu Tangcheng in disbelief, she bit her mouth tightly and asked, "When did you learn to lie? You think we don't understand anything, so foolish?"
Xu Yueliang sighed, then raised his eyebrows slightly, looked at Xu Tangcheng and said, "You should be in the internship period now, and you haven't signed the tripartite yet."
To make excuses to say no is to escape. When he just said it, Xu Tangcheng already knew that he had said the wrong thing. The situation seemed to be made worse by one of his lies, and he could no longer find a solution to both sides, so he simply confessed.
"I can not go."
"You don't have to go, haven't you been walking for a few months," Zhou Hui said, "I'll take it as if I didn't give birth to you, how you want to live, so that I won't be able to eat or sleep well in the future. "
"Mom," Xu Tangcheng's head suddenly started to hurt badly, and he looked at Zhou Hui with pleading eyes, "No matter how you arranged it before, since I was called back today, let's really talk about it, okay?"
"Don't talk about it," Zhou Hui didn't give him a chance, and immediately refused, "You don't have to think about convincing me, I'm stubborn, I just can't accept it. You don't have to reason with me, I don't care how right you are about this homosexuality. I don't care how many famous people are... gay, I can't control others, and I don't care about it, but my son can't."
"Okay, let's not talk about homosexuality, let's talk about change."
Xu Tangcheng looked at Zhou Hui and then at Xu Yueliang, he couldn't bear the words after so long.
"Dad, Mom, I've never told you about any emotional things, and I'm not the kind of person who likes to talk about these things, but I have to say it today. I've grown up so much, and I've never liked anyone. There have been girls who have chased me, and there have been girls who everyone thinks are good, but I don't feel anything. I don't think it is necessary to investigate whether I am born gay or not. What I can be sure of is that I like Yizhe. There will be no one else who can make me like it so much."
"Do you like him?" Zhou Hui was a little embarrassed to hear this. She asked sharply, "Do you like a man?"
Xu Tangcheng did not speak.
"say something!"
Xu Tangcheng always thought that he was not a bad person, but he negotiated with his parents, but after a few words, it always became an endgame without chess pieces.
With a loud noise, Zhou Hui suddenly stood up and took her to the seat.
"Mom..." Xu Tangxi was frightened and called Zhou Hui.
Zhou Hui ignored him and ignored Xu Yueliang's obstruction, walked around half of the table, pulled Xu Tangcheng's arm, and took him to the bedroom.
"mom!"
Xu Tangxi thought that Zhou Hui was going to do something, so he chased after him in a panic, but saw Zhou Hui turn over a plastic bag from the closet and come out. She hadn't seen the bag before, so she didn't know what Zhou Hui's intention was, so she stopped at the door and looked at the door frame.
Zhou Hui undid the bag and suddenly threw it onto the bed. The contents of the bag scattered in an instant, a pair of cotton trousers, a pair of small cloth shoes, all embroidered with delicate tiger head patterns.
"Look for yourself, the shoes and pants your grandma made for your future children, you are going to tell her that you like YiZhe? Do you like a man?" Zhou Hui's tears fell, "Do you think she Is it acceptable?"
It was easy for Zhou Hui to poke at another pain point of Xu Tangcheng.
"Do you know how old your grandmother is?" Zhou Hui stretched out a hand, not knowing where it was pointing, but it shook violently, "Eighty-eight... When she was young, she avoided the Japanese and hugged your father to listen to her. Critic... Have you seen her feet? She even had her feet bound at that time, did you know? Every time I cut her nails, I dare not cut off the scissors, the feet are deformed, and the nails are full length. In the meat. At that time, in the village, women were not allowed to eat at the table. Your grandmother was serving that family, and she was reluctant to eat and use anything, and suffered for a lifetime... What's the matter? I want to see all of you juniors become a family, she is so at ease, you have to let her know this new thing, let her know that her grandson does not plan to marry a wife, and wants to live with a man for the rest of her life?"
Xu Tangcheng stared at the pile of colorful things on the bed, and could still remember the nursery rhyme his grandmother read to him.
He had seen grandma embroider tiger-toed shoes stitch by stitch.
"Do you have a conscience, Xu Tangcheng?"
"Mom, I've thought about all this." Xu Tangcheng's eyes also had bright things spinning, reflecting the color of the colorful lines, "I know there are many things I can't explain, so at the beginning, I haven't been with Yizhe yet. At that time, I hesitated for a long time."
Zhou Hui sat on the bed, covering her face and crying, ignoring Xu Tangcheng's words.
After a long time, Xu Tangcheng continued: "But I have no choice, sorry."
His voice was soft, almost breathless.
He really has no choice. He clearly knows how unrealistic it is to be with YiZhe, but he can't control himself.
"Are your dad and I hurting you? Ah? What did you tell us we liked or not?" Zhou Hui shook her voice and covered her eyes with her hands, "We don't want you to find someone you like and have a good time. For a lifetime? But you're not a problem... We're not just afraid of people making irresponsible remarks. You just know what you like and don't like. Have you really thought about it later? If you like him, can the two of you get married? Can't get married, can't have children. Yes, now you are both strong and strong, no one needs to rely on, no one needs to rely on, you think the two of you can live well together. Then you can be strong for a lifetime Zhuang, don't you need to rely on others in your life? Your father's legs are bad, you take him to the hospital, before and after running, have you ever thought about being with him, when both of you are old, in case there is a disaster Who are you sick, how are you going to live? Who will be immortal and who will take care of whom? Go to a nursing home? Can it be the same as at home?"
A series of questions left Xu Tangcheng unable to resist. He squatted in front of Zhou Hui, opened his mouth a few times, but was unable to speak. Zhou Hui cried more and more, Xu Tangcheng held her hand and lowered his head wordlessly.
"When the time comes, my dad and I won't feel at ease when we leave..."
"Mom," Xu Tangcheng interrupted Zhou Hui, his chest and head were in pain, "I'm sorry."
Zhou Hui was a little stunned and looked at him.
"I know it will be difficult in the future," Xu Tangcheng murmured, "but I really can't help it, I can't live without him."
"Why can't you do anything? Why can't you leave?" Zhou Hui cried, speaking intermittently, "You two young people, when you are in love, you feel that you can't do without the other party... You broke up with him, I If you don't believe it's been two or three years, you still can't forget him."
Xu Tangcheng didn't speak. Seeing that he was silent, Zhou Hui suddenly grabbed his arm a little excitedly, raised his head forcibly with the other hand, and said, "Then you promise Mom, you will follow us first, okay? Try it, you have completely cut off contact with him, can you try it?"
"mom… "
"Can't you just try it! If you really can't forget him in a few years, he still likes you so much... Can we just accept our fate?"
Zhou Hui said that she lost her voice at the end, just like Xu Tangcheng said "I can't help it" just now.
Xu Tangcheng knew that this was the biggest concession that Zhou Hui and Xu Yueliang could make.
But after a long silence, he still shook his head.
"no."
"You..." Zhou Hui slapped him on the shoulder, "Don't you want me to live?"
"Mom," Xu Tangcheng sniffed, trying to suppress the things that were gushing out from his eyes, "you know, Yizhe... Yizhe's family is not like ours. I have you, my grandmother, my uncle and the others, but He's not, he-"
Without warning, the tears that had just been held back rolled down again. Xu Tangcheng didn't say "love" to anyone, not even YiZhe, let alone at this time, he wanted to explain this to Zhou Hui and the others, and explain why he couldn't leave YiZhe. He hurriedly organized the language, but he didn't get a complete sentence for a long time.
Until the appearance of YiZhe appeared too many times in his mind, and among the pictures that passed quickly, there was one floating and stagnant.
Xu Tangcheng blinked, as if he saw the moon cake that was handed to his lips on the sunset day again.
"If I have three moon cakes, I'll give you two, give him one, and if he doesn't want it, I'll give you all. But he... He has three, and he'll give them all to me."
He was clearly talking about love, but Xu Tangcheng's eyes were full of tears and pain. Not only Zhou Hui, but Xu Tangxi, who was standing at the door, was stunned. She opened her mouth unconsciously and whispered, "Brother..."
"I can't leave him, not even for two or three years." Xu Tangcheng shivered and said, "As long as I think of him holding something delicious, but no one can give it to me, I feel pain in my heart, and it hurts so much. No."
Zhou Hui's eyes were wide open. She had long stopped crying and sat there quietly, but tears were falling straight down.
"What about us?" She asked in a hoarse voice, "Are you relying on some of us caring, because we have Tang Xi?"
Yi Zhe knew Yi Yuanzhi well. He knew that this "wait a while" would probably be over. Sure enough, Yi Zhe went back to the hotel and slept, but Yi Yuanzhi hadn't come back.
All day, Yi Zhe was worried about Xu Tangcheng's side. He was lying on the bed alone, tossing and turning for a long time, and finally couldn't help sending a text message to Xu Tangcheng. I didn't dare to ask any sensitive questions, I just asked what he was doing.
After the text message was sent, YiZhe put the phone next to his pillow and waited for an answer. He was afraid of missing the message, so he had to hold it even when he went to the toilet.
It was already ten o'clock when Yi Yuanzhi came over. After he entered the room, he took off his coat, put it on the hanger, and asked YiZhe, "What's the matter?"
"I just wanted to tell you..."
YiZhe temporarily put his phone on the coffee table, and sat on the sofa under Yi Yuanzhi's gesture.
"I want to tell you that I'm not single now."
Hearing this, Yi Yuanzhi raised his eyebrows slightly, but did not interrupt.
When I started, the following words were spoken much more smoothly. Yi Zhe suddenly thought that maybe Xu Tangcheng was doing the same thing at home—describe their feelings to his family.
"Do you remember our neighbor from the past, surnamed Xu, there is an elder brother and a younger sister, and the elder brother's name is Xu Tangcheng, and I am with him." As if this was not enough, Yi Zhe continued, "We are in We've been together for a long time, and I love him very much. So, don't let me accompany Du Yi all the time, and it will be the same with others in the future, and I won't accompany him either."
Yi Zhe thought that Yi Yuanzhi would be somewhat unhappy, but unexpectedly, he did not notice any change in expression on Yi Yuanzhi's face. Yi Yuanzhi was still sitting there, not even moving his hands on his knees.
He couldn't figure out what Yi Yuanzhi meant. Although he was a little beaten in his heart, he still clenched his hands tightly and sat there quietly.
Yi Yuanzhi was really silent for a long time. The phone on the coffee table finally received the news, YiZhe was stunned, and without hesitation for even a second, he reached out and reached the slightly cold body.
At the same time, Yi Yuanzhi suddenly stood up.
YiZhe thought he was angry, so he hurriedly grabbed the phone and stood up.
"dad… "
"Should I be glad..." Yi Yuanzhi interrupted him, "You chose Xiang Xiwe at the beginning."
This sentence made YiZhe stunned. He vaguely understood the meaning of the words, but he couldn't believe it. By this time, his position for Yi Yuanzhi was still his father who had been with him for many years.
The father who has been with him for many years, even if the relationship between the two is not balanced, Yi Yuanzhi still loves him.
His ears rumbled.
"what?"
His chest was stuffy, he couldn't breathe well, and suddenly he couldn't see the people in his field of vision anymore.
"Yes, I should have seen it from the beginning. I used to think you were honest and easy-going. When I got divorced, I always thought you would choose me." Yi Yuanzhi moved the corner of his mouth and smiled. Strangely, his smile made YiZhe feel unfamiliar. In his memory for a long time, his father always had the same expression, even if he covered him with a quilt and said good night when he was a child, his face was still cold.
"It now seems that I was right at the beginning, I left the house cleanly, so it's okay, I didn't take you away. I am preparing to immigrate with Yi Xun, you are already an adult, and I will not give you any more money in the future. , you don't need us to contact us again."
Hui Yi was out of his control, Yi Zhe didn't want to recall, but those memories came uninvited and flooded into his head one after another. He remembered that in the sixth grade, Yi Yuanzhi suddenly came to his school. At that time, he was in music class, and the head teacher walked to the door and called him out. He followed Yi Yuanzhi and walked to the open space between the two teaching buildings of the school. Yi Yuanzhi bent down slightly, looked into his eyes and said, "Yizhe, choose Dad tomorrow, Dad will give you the best life."
There is a pool in that clearing for students to wash their mops. The faucet was old, rusted and dripping with water.
Yi Yuanzhi walked to the hanger and picked up the expensive coat hanging on it. Yi Zhe remembered that Yi Yuanzhi would always tell him that he should not dress so shabby, that in winter he would wear a black down jacket.
After standing quietly for a while, YiZhe didn't say a word. He bent down, picked up the down jacket on the sofa, glanced over Yi Yuanzhi, and strode out of the room.
The door closed behind him without a sound, like the last drop of water in the pool that summer.
There are lies and mirages in the water.
And those things once drowned a rut.