Like, masturbating with their heroes. "
Asha was about to throw up.
The instruments of torture have been put away, the corpses have been dragged away, and only the medical staff and the half-dead people on the bed are left in the room. He was naked, clothed only in his own blood, scabs and fresh wounds. His hair was dirty and sticky, and the golden color in the poster was dull, but mixed with a lot of silver gray. His body lay flat on the operating table, connected by a bunch of wires and tubes, like a dead butterfly on a spider's web. However, he was still awake, and Yasha approached tremblingly, and saw a pair of eyes that were so desperate that they resigned to their fate.
"Asha," my brother's voice came from afar, "do you still want him?"
Yasha covered her mouth, her mind was buzzing, and her ears were buzzing. She hears her mother scolding her brother (“made your sister sick”), she hears her brother apologizing to her (“I’ll get you a clean one tomorrow”), and she hears her own blood boil.
No, it's not nausea, but rage that stirs in the viscera.
"I'm going to kill you," she said.
The voice was choked in the throat, too soft, like the whine of a defeated dog. So Asha turned suddenly, raised her voice, and said it again.
I-would-kill-you, she said, staring at her brother without looking back at Eden. Not yet time. All the pain and regret, all the anger and determination, all went into this oath. This is her end and beginning, her answer: I still want him, I will have him, I will be a lover rather than a loved one.
Those who heard this laughed.
Her brother laughed, and so did her parents, and they all laughed like they heard something funny. Yeah, sure, Asha is Mommy's sweet little girl, the spoiled, off-the-ring little sister, the least alpha-like little alpha. When the eldest brother and the eldest sister are fighting each other, she can only play with dolls. When the second brother killed illegitimate children everywhere, she was still giggling at the poster of the rebel omega. They forget that she is also the product of top-level genetic selection, and that she also has the best resources and the best education. They forgot how much she had learned for "ridiculous obsession" and how she shot down ace pilots from four kilometers away.
They didn't remember that she was a candidate as well.
Young alphas have a lot of time.
"Sorry, I couldn't come to see you last year." Yasha said, "You have been under strict surveillance as a bait to attract the remnants of the rebels. Last year, my father and elder brother would personally pay attention. At that time, I was not able to stop them. If I can't have you forever, what's the point of possessing you temporarily? I've been enduring and working hard to make this moment come sooner. This year, when their monitoring is relaxed, I can't help but want to see you .”
"I'm sorry for causing you to be attacked by such a lunatic." Yasha said, "When I was about to succeed, that is, in the last few months, I transferred the monitoring to my control a little bit, but the blind spots in the handover caused by hacking the system It's too bad to let such garbage take advantage of it. I was so scared that my heart stopped, and I immediately transferred you here... You must have been troubled by the haste, right?"
She murmured an apology, explaining her absence. At this point, Yasha was finally able to say, "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you well." This sentence meant more than it said.
Eden wouldn't understand, he couldn't remember the memory that drove him crazy. The surgery emptied those brutal months and made no distinction with more than ten years of glorious memories. They need to make him an ignorant bait, not a broken wreck. So Asha won't tell him. That memory has been erased, none of the original perpetrators are alive today (Asha made sure of that), and the wounds left behind have been repaired by the best medical technology, and those months do not exist.
Eden doesn't need to remember, no one can, except Asha. She remembered this unforgettable lesson and warned herself of the price of innocence.
She started kissing him again, her lips brushing the scar, her tongue in her lips, kissing like licking candy. Kissing in the past was a hasty steal, now it is enjoyed. She could do it for hours, all night, all day, and Eden belonged to Asha, and no one could take it away.
"..."
It was Eden himself who pushed her away.
His hand was on Asha's shoulder, not strong enough to shake off the girl, but it wouldn't be regarded as interest either. Asha raised her head in confusion, and her omega looked at her with lowered eyes, her sad expression unchanged.
"I'm not that person anymore," Eden said.
"You are!" Yasha replied, "It's just that some memories have been deleted, and you are still you."
"Delete..." the man smiled wryly and shook his head, "It's not a 'just' problem. Commander Iden is destroyed, and I'm just Exile 329."
This is not a good word.
But it still has to be said, if the broken bone is connected to the wrong place, naturally the sooner it is interrupted and restarted, the better. Is there any way, 329 thought, he can't act as his double for the rest of his life, neither can nor wants to. He gazed into those hopeful green eyes, waiting for them to reflect anger or sadness, but Asha just smiled easily, leaning against his chest, her chin resting on him.
"Would you like to be called 329? That might sound disrespectful, but I can have everyone call you that if you want," she said. "A rose still smells good under a different name."
"You don't understand." 329 closed his eyes, "Everything he experienced, the memories that formed him, all no longer exist, and the person you love does not exist. I am not him."
"Ice melts into water, is it still it?" Asha asked back.
"If you love the cold and hardness of ice, what does water mean to you?"
"How do you know what I love?"
329 is speechless.
"You don't know," said Yasha, and suddenly laughed, "I don't know either."
She changed into a more comfortable position, snuggling up against 329, with her hair against his chin. Her voice sounded like she was talking in a dream, but her tone was extremely sober.
"But I know if I'm in love. When I see the poster, I know I love your blond hair. When I see you, I know silver is alluring. I love your beautiful young face in your promo, and It wasn't until we were face to face for the first time that I could see your body, I could see how soft your lips are, how lovely your scars are - I love every inch of it. You say I love 'Commander Eden' but you Already know we've never met in the past, isn't it you who I actually saw, talked to, touched? You insist on separating yourself from the 'Commander', but you have no memory of being a Commander, I do remember the Commander. Could it be Don't you think it's up to me to judge whether they are similar or not, whether they are in love or not?"
329 didn't say a word, and Asha didn't stop.
"I love the upright face on your poster, and I love the tears you tried to hide. I love your courage to stand up, and I love your compromise when you bow your head. I love your kindness and exhaustion, and I love your indifference and enthusiasm …you are right, unlike those who have come after you, I do not know the 'commander', I only know you."
She loves this living remains, even more than before.
There are some things Asha won't say, like how, despite her heartache for what happened to a loved one, she never regrets shooting him down. She loves watching eagles soaring in the sky, and loves keeping falcons with broken wings in cages. She loves a hero who shines brightly and is admired by all people, and loves him even more when he plummets, who is spurned and hated by others, and can only be hidden in her arms. He has nothing, nowhere to go, sad and alone - so she owns him, so he can only love her.
They wailed for the falling stars, and she had them all to herself. Since then, the sky has no light, and the night is endless, and the broken morning star alone lights up her dreams. The dawn will never come, and the dream will never wake up.
Those golden memories, this tormented and enchanted soul, were all hers.
"That man wants to kill you just because you are not what he imagined, and I am not that fool." Asha said, "The incompetent climber only loves your splendor, and I love everything about you. What are you? look, my love is like."
"I love you," said Asha.
329 is terrified because he trusts her.
17. "Why are you disappointed?"
329 is terrified because he trusts her.
Asha does not lie, she has the strength and capacity to show her sincerity. A scorching heart was thrown over his head and face, and his dead body was scalded with pain. 329 couldn't help but shrink back, but it was difficult to let go of the heat source. As soon as Yasha said it, he was defeated. The doubts in my heart have been answered and excuses, and every thought is persuading: believe it, believe it, don't care about the details.
The terrible thing is that he wants to believe her.
329 didn't know if it was love, he had no precedent to refer to, and no one could ask. does she love him Or was it just deformed unwillingness and obsession that changed her life and burned into her soul? However, if this obsession has always existed, it will be almost the same as vowing to each other forever. does he love her Or just grasping at straws, taking dependence as love, deceiving yourself and others, and unable to extricate yourself? But his life has been difficult to change, Yasha will not let him go, and he has no idea of leaving. That being the case, attachment is no different from love.
There was only one question left, a question that had been bothering him and had never been answered.
It haunts the throat like a ghost, spit it out or cause disaster, and swallow it may cause trouble for a hundred years. Asha never lied to me, 329 told himself. Another thought bubbled up: she was just hiding, she just had to hide. 329 sighed deeply, he closed his eyes forcefully, and opened his eyes.