I want to take a leave of absence from everyone today. I can’t update anymore. By the way, I would like to tell you the reason for the discontinuation of updates in the past six months.
I couldn't sleep until seven o'clock yesterday because of insomnia. I was in a very bad state of mind all day today. I hurriedly finished writing the evening update of "Dragon Evil", but I didn't have the mood to write the old book.
In fact, this kind of fatigue has lasted for more than 20 days, because I have been attending a training abroad these days, and I have no time from 8 am to 6 pm every day. I often code and write until two or three in the morning, and the next day Got up again early in the morning.
It feels like my body has reached an extreme load state. I want to persist but the situation doesn't seem to allow it.
I have always suffered from insomnia and headaches. It seems that everyone who writes novels is prone to anxiety and insomnia after all, and neurasthenia has become the norm. I basically rely on melatonin to maintain it before going to bed.
I have been taking melatonin for almost two years, but the effect is no longer very good. I don’t know if I should start dispensing medicine in the hospital if I continue like this...
I entered the industry relatively late. I remember that when I was preparing to write my big return in 2015, it coincided with the graduation season of my last year in college.
I went to university in Canada, and I don’t know if the graduation there is the same as in China. In short, I am as busy as a top, and I almost squeeze out my sleep time endlessly in order to write novels.
Then one day, I took the speech script of the last course to strengthen my memory, and while eating with my friends in a Korean restaurant, I gave an unscripted speech and a question and answer session. I was particularly afraid that I would be asked some words that I didn’t understand.
I am a person who is very afraid of speaking in front of many people. I am a two-dimensional creature who plays games and reads novels. I don’t like to communicate with others.
So I fainted under this high pressure...
My friend was scared to death, and the restaurant owner’s wife was stunned.
I probably fainted for less than ten seconds. It was a terrifying feeling, like an out-of-body experience. I could hear the panicked shouts of the proprietress holding me tightly in her arms, as well as the chaotic sounds of the people around me.
But it felt very far away, as if it was leaving me. I heard this in another time, space or dimension, without consciousness or perception.
What I felt at that moment was terrifying. Looking back, it felt like death...
I am not saying this to gain any sympathy, I just hope readers can understand.
In the first half of this year, my insomnia continued to worsen, and I often stayed up for thirty to forty hours.
In addition, after writing for three years, I seem to have penetrated deeply into this circle, seen some things clearly, and seen more people.
In the beginning, I also had a strong resistance to the Internet literary circle. People came to read my novels, not to see what I looked like.
It was only when I started writing "Dragon Evil" that I started to get better. I felt almost no pressure when writing a new book, because no one would read it anyway, so I just wrote and updated as I pleased.
This mentality allowed me to rediscover my passion for novels, and also made me realize that I gave up a lot of things to write novels, and it was all because of two words:
Love it!
It has nothing to do with people or things, I just like writing novels.
This single chapter will be deleted when the update resumes tomorrow.
thank you all.
(End of chapter)