Before My Withering

Chapter 31

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There are 112 letters that Xiao Fei wrote to me, most of which were written out of boredom during pregnancy. His interpersonal relationship is very simple. There are only a few old people who are related to Song Zhiqian. I don't want to contact them, so I can't explore his life.

From his words, I think he may be a transparent, sober, gentle and tolerant person. If we live in the same time and space, I will definitely like a person like him.

Too bad I haven't even seen his face.

When I got home, Zhou Chen asked me where I put the violin. I asked if there was a storage room that could adjust the temperature and humidity. He gave me a complicated look and asked, "Don't you use this violin?"

"I have what you gave me." I replied without thinking.

After I finished speaking, I suddenly became unsure: "It was given to me, not lent to me...?"

He smiled: "I don't understand musical instruments, of course it's for you."

Zhou Chen seemed to be in a really good mood today. Although he was disturbed by the grandparents of the Qi family one after another, it didn't seem to affect him at all.

He was happy and I was happy too. When I squatted on the ground to clean up the mailbox, I hummed a song unconsciously.

"...

I will be brave,

I will not let anything take away what's standing in front of me

…”

When Zhou Chen came back from playing the piano, I just hummed this sentence.

When I performed at the graduation party, the tune was changed to a more soothing and low-pitched tune to match the timbre of the cello. Now I am humming myself, and unconsciously return to the original brisk tune.

He walked up to me and rubbed the top of my head casually, "It's late, don't you still have a rest?"

There were more than a dozen letters scattered on the carpet, some opened and some closed. I noticed that when Zhou Chen saw those letters, his expression appeared uncomfortable for a moment.

"It's okay, it's not a secret." I said, "Do you want to see it?"

He hesitated for a moment, "I won't read the letter I wrote to you."

After finishing speaking, he leaned over to help me put the scattered letters into the box: "I'll pack it up tomorrow, go to bed."

"Doctor," the atmosphere was too relaxed, and I suddenly thought badly, I grabbed his hand and asked, "How is my performance today?"

He still kept his stooped posture, pretending to be serious but suppressing a smile and said: "Emotionally stable, no adverse reactions, very good."

Zhou Chen said that the short-term memory confusion before me was due to the fear of reality, so the body activated the defense program and closed the senses.

If you want to get better, it is useless to escape blindly. You must learn to face the reality and accept everything that happened in the past.

And everything in the past has a common source, that is Qi Shu.

So these days, he accompanied me from the name to the voice to the picture, slowly desensitizing bit by bit. It was very difficult at the beginning, and the rejection engraved in my bones made me resist this matter instinctively. When I was in a bad state, I even unconsciously wanted to relieve my psychological pain through physical pain.

Zhou Chen didn't stop me, but replaced the pinched arm with his when I was in a trance, so one time after I scratched his flesh, I realized that I couldn't use this thing to hurt him anymore. Zhou Shen fell in love with herself and hurt herself.

He said that this is a necessary process, and I must change from passive acceptance to active face.

And I know that I will have such a change, all because of him.

Since then, the treatment has become much smoother, and the trust and dependence on Zhou Chen has squeezed away the fear and uneasiness towards Qi Shu bit by bit, that's why I can behave so calmly today.

I don't want to disappoint his hard work. I want to feel better.

"Will there be rewards for good performance?" I asked eagerly.

Zhou Chen raised his eyebrows, "What do you want?"

"I want, uh...a star."

This answer is completely nonsense, I don't need anything, and I can't think of what I can ask him for for a while.

Unexpectedly, he agreed, "Okay."

it is good? !

It took me three days to understand what the word "good" meant.

After dinner, we went out for a walk as usual, Zhou Chen specially asked me to add a coat, I thought it was to cool down, but unexpectedly he led me stop and go, and climbed to the top of the mountain in more than an hour.

To be precise, I only walked for less than half an hour by myself, and he carried me up behind his back.

There is an empty terrace on the top of the mountain. Seeing the astronomical telescopes and tents prepared there in advance, I probably understand what he is going to do.

The tent is very spacious, with thick carpets to keep warm, and simple daily necessities are all available inside.

Zhou Chen let me rest, and set up a bonfire outside by himself, and boiled a pot of hot water.

I thought he was pampered, his fingers never touched the spring water, but I didn't expect him to work very neatly, and he had a kind of leisure and calmness, even lighting a fire was pleasing to the eye.

When everything was ready and it was dark, I sat on the ponytail with hot tea in my hand and watched Zhou Chen adjust the telescope.

Finally, he took a step back and waved to me, "Okay."

This is the first time for me to play with this expensive precision instrument. I was afraid of accidentally breaking it. Zhou Chen held my hand and taught me how to see. So in the eyepiece, I saw a light rose color under the dark night sky. The nebula is surrounded by sporadic points of light, and a slightly larger star with a bluish halo in the center of the frame.

"It's a lonely star that doesn't have a planet of its own, and it's not surrounded by other stars."

Zhou Shen's low and slow voice seemed to be telling an old fairy tale, "Its serial number is CX940."

"But now, it has a new name, BHI824, a Boat Heading for the Island, the boat near the island."

The boat near the island...

My breathing stopped for a moment.

I said I wanted a star, and he really sent the star to my eyes.

"Xiaoyu." Zhou Chen gently embraced me from behind, "The starry sky is boundless, but there is one star that belongs to you. Just like the vast sea of people, there is one person that belongs to you."

His voice is full of infinite nostalgia and tenderness. I seem to fall into this rose-colored nebula, feeling the light and heat that have existed since the beginning of time, and the beating of my heart resonates with the entire universe.

"Tomorrow is your birthday, and this is my first present for you," he said.

Is it my birthday tomorrow? I almost forgot myself.

"Thank you, sir." I wanted to turn my head to thank him, but with a slight movement, my back was pressed against his hot chest.

And then, I blushed helplessly again.

Of all the hug poses out there, I can't stand this one the most.

Zhou Chen was calm, he turned me around and hugged me again, this time I completely fell into his arms.

Above the head is the boundless starry sky, behind us are the silent mountains and forests, it seems that there are only two of us in the vast world.

The summer night is sparse and the wind is gentle.

The bonfire burns quietly, occasionally crackling lightly, and Zhou Shen's heartbeat is heard in my ears, beating the silent night like drums.

I deeply remembered this moment as a movement, and the blood in my whole body was surging with the notes.

I think this will be my best piece of music, it was born with stars and love.

And Zhou Chen is my muse.

The author has something to say:

Today's playlist: "Take Me Away"

[This time you said to go together, a certain corner, just you and me]