I sat on the bed from three o'clock until dawn, and didn't get out of bed to put the disc back until the increasingly intense palpitations urged me to go back to take medicine.
I didn't pay attention when I took it, there were two packs of cigarettes behind the book-like thing in the deep drawer.
I have never seen Zhou Chen smoke, nor have I smelled smoke at home. Is this his
When socializing day and night, the human spirit is often the most sensitive and fragile. I couldn't help but start thinking, if it wasn't Zhou Chen's, then it meant that someone had slept in his bed and left behind the cigarettes he usually smoked.
Was it his former lover, had they lived together
I suddenly felt an unspeakable sourness in my heart.
Zhou Chen is thirty-one years old, and his love life will not be blank. Thinking that he may have told others that he loves you, I feel more sad than bumping into Qi Shu and Wen Ziqing having sex.
But what right do I have to criticize his past...
Desperately going downstairs, Mr. Housekeeper is tidying up the flowers and plants on the balcony. I said goodbye to him, but I still couldn't help asking Zhou Chen if he brought anyone back here.
Mr. Housekeeper was very surprised and said that he had never done it before, and asked me why I thought so.
"I saw two packs of cigarettes in his room..." I said.
"That should belong to Mr.." He smiled with relief, with an expression of "I think something is wrong", and said: "Mr. used to smoke occasionally, and then one day he suddenly quit. You can't smell second-hand smoke if you have a heart attack."
Zhou Chen... Smoking? I've known each other for so long, and I've never found out. And he quit just because second hand smoke is bad for me...
I'm still speculating about his past here...
I felt remorse and guilt followed by deep missing.
Zhou Chen didn't say how long this business trip will take, but I believe that if I don't say that I hope he will come back, he will always be "busy" like this.
It's seven o'clock in the morning, and it's just midnight in Cologne. I think it's better not to disturb his rest, and we'll talk about it in the afternoon.
After taking the medicine and drinking a large glass of water, my mood gradually stabilized, and I went back to the room, preparing to deal with the traces of my flipping, so as not to be discovered by Zhou Chen.
Out of nowhere, I picked up the book.
It is said to be a book, more like a notebook, thick, wrapped in a leather cover.
Turning to the first page, there was a photo of me when I was a child, about five or six years old, playing on a swing in a small park.
Below is a line written by Zhou Chen: [Finally found it.]
So is this his diary
A few pages later, my suspicions were confirmed.
[I don't know if returning to the Song family is a good thing for him. Song Zhiqian is his biological father after all, so it's not good for me to rob him at this time. It's a bit annoying.]
[Today I quietly went to see Xiaoyu, he was sitting outside the piano room crying, twitching and not daring to make a sound, he looked pitiful.
I couldn't help comforting him, he was so good, even crying like this, he didn't forget to say thank you brother.
I wish I were his brother, and I will not let him be wronged again.]
[Hurry up and grow up, only when you grow up can you choose the life you want.]
[The little guy finally got the hang of it, knowing that the piano is not suitable for him.]
[Wouldn't it be too ostentatious to ask Herman Evans to teach him directly? It's better to choose a teacher in China, other things are not important, you must have a good temper and patience.]
[Ms. Zhao said that Xiaoyu is the most talented student he has ever taught.
of course. My little friends are the best.]
[To commemorate the young musician's first performance on stage.]
[Recently, I was busy writing a thesis, and I haven't seen Xiaoyu for a long time, and suddenly found that he has grown a lot taller.
The cute little friend turned into a beautiful little boy.]
[Student Xiao Yu went to high school, and began to not understand mathematics. A little idiot.]
[He likes Qi Shu... I don't seem to be right, I'm actually jealous.]
[No, you watched him grow up, are you crazy?]
From here, things get a little different.
[Don't disturb his life.
Don't interfere with his choice.
Don't do what you shouldn't do.]
[Xiaoyu's happiness is the most important thing.]
[Do not impulse.]
[Put away all your crazy thoughts.
Absolutely, absolutely not to hurt him.]
[If there is one person to be imprisoned, it can only be me.
He should be free.]
Time stayed four years ago, before Zhou Chen left the country, he wrote the last sentence[Goodbye.]
The diary is full of photos of me, from childhood to adulthood, I have not missed every stage.
I should be terrified, but instead, I feel reassured.
I even gained self-willed confidence from it, picked up my mobile phone and dialed Zhou Chen's number.
The phone was connected quickly, and there were a few rustling sounds, and then Zhou Chen's slightly tired voice: "Xiaoyu?"
"Sir..." I didn't start the video for fear of being seen as nervous, "Are you done... when will you be back?"
"I..." He seemed to be deliberating how to answer this question, and finally chose a more secure one, "Work is almost done, and the return time has not yet been determined."
"What's wrong?" he asked.
Holding the corner of the notebook, I mustered up the courage to say, "I miss you."
Zhou Chen's breathing obviously stagnated for a moment, and then he said uncertainly: "I thought you didn't want to see me..."
"I think." I interrupted him, "...you come back."
"Don't you blame me?"
"I didn't blame you. I just didn't know what to do..."
Premonitioning that what I said next would change something, I was so nervous that my voice dropped.
"Now I know, I want to see you."
He was silent for a few seconds and asked, "See me, then what?"
I didn't realize for a moment what he meant, and then I realized that he might want a definite answer.
With the words from the diary in my head, I said, "Then, interrupt your life, interfere with your choices, and do all the do's and don'ts."
Sure enough, his breathing became disordered suddenly: "Did you see that?"
I didn't want to hide it from him anymore, and said, "I see."
"Xiao Yu." Zhou Chen became serious, "I don't want your shock, fear, touch or anything. Everything I do is because I think, I am willing, not in exchange for your response. Before you understand Until this point, I won't be going back."
"No!" I was afraid that he would misunderstand, so I blurted out anxiously: "It's not because I was moved. Do you think that when I'm with you, my heart beats faster because I'm sick?"
help... what am I talking about...
Zhou Chen was obviously also stunned, but I still bit the bullet and continued.
"I let you hold hands, let you hug, let you sleep on my bed, you still don't understand... Now say you don't want me to respond, why don't you say you don't want me to respond when you kiss me..."
"But you pushed me away..." Zhou Chen was still in a daze.
"Shouldn't I be nervous? In that situation, you don't say anything, and suddenly...how do I know if you're drunk and having sex..."
I can't go on. My face is about to explode.
Zhou Chen calmed down before me, and said: "If I drink and have sex, I won't stop at that step."
"..." I couldn't speak to him, "So do you want to come back?"
"I'm looking at the plane ticket."
"Don't, you go to sleep first, wake up and watch."
"Don't sleep anymore." He said, "I'll see you later."