01
He rarely smiles at me lately. Probably because when she learned that Wen Yan was coming back, she didn't even bother to pretend.
It doesn't matter, I don't have to have him.
I have reminded myself countless times that indulging in love is the most stupid thing in the world, but for some reason, I am always easily moved by him.
I don't like things I can't control, so I don't like him.
02
He has lost a lot of weight and is not as good-looking as before.
There was a new duckling at the club I frequented, who looked a bit like him, and the manager said it was specially reserved for me, and no one had ever played with it.
Fang Yao and the others joked that even the bustard had figured out my preferences, so I could just follow the one at home.
This sentence made me feel irritated again, I didn't want the newcomer, I picked the least like him from a row of people, as if this could prove that the person they said was to me It doesn't matter.
I realized in hindsight that this idea was pretty darn stupid, I fucked who the fuck I fucked with, did I have to prove anything, fuck.
03
This family surnamed Wen is really interesting. They want to send any wild species to my bed. If it weren't for the beauty of that omega, I wouldn't even bother to touch it. I really thought he would marry him when I fell asleep. Well, a joke.
What's even more ridiculous is that he wants me to not wear a condom, who am I
I don't know how to wear a condom only when I have sex with that person. Unfortunately, Beta's genital cavity is not up to par, and I just can't get pregnant after so many years.
Sometimes I also think, if only he were an omega, then he would be completely mine.
04
He said he was going back to school, and it turned out he was going on a date.
Hugging and hugging in front of me, good, good job.
I don't understand how many people his cheap likes can give, saying he loves me, but seducing others behind my back. He pretended to be affectionate towards me, but it wasn't for money in the end.
I should have chained him up at home.
05
Today he mentioned Wen Yan's name on the bed again.
Hold.
06
I can't remember how long it's been since he talked and smiled at me the way he used to. I asked Fang Yao, I have given him enough money, why does he still want to leave me
Isn't he short of money, no parents, no support, he should be the most short of money. He was obviously happy when I gave him money, why is it like this now
Others make small love affairs for the sake of comfort and satisfaction, but I spend the fucking money and still get angry every day, why
Fang Yao said that I drank too much and farted, and I was very sober.
07
Today he suddenly asked me if I would get married. I guess it was someone who was blind and told him about Wen Ziqing.
He should wish that I would get married and let him go, heh, don't even think about it.
08
He told Wen Ziqing that all he wanted was money.
Sure enough, I said something.
09
He's back to school again.
When he called me in the middle of the night, I thought it was him wanting to go home, but it was the guy surnamed Xu who said he had a fever and was admitted to the hospital.
You were fine before you left, why did you suddenly have a fever? Did you ask others to call me on purpose to make me jealous
With so many useless minds, it is not wrong to say that he is a vixen.
10
I ignored him, but he really offered to come back.
Xiao Wu is quite sensible, so he called the person surnamed Xu and typed a few words. If he still doesn't know how to stay away from other people's things, don't blame me for taking care of him regardless of his parents' face.
11
When I got home, I saw him sleeping on the sofa. After losing weight, he looked smaller and smaller, lying there like a feather, ready to float away at any time.
An inexplicable anxiety rose in my heart, as if I was about to lose him.
Especially when I smelled someone else's scent on him, I was extremely upset.
Now I just want to crush him and put him in a cage.
12
I can't let him leave me. Never possible.
13
I took him back to the old house, originally I wanted to take advantage of the crowds to let the old man meet him formally, and also tell those messy people not to introduce me to any fucking omega, but he turned around and hooked up with Zhou Chen, The two exchanged glances, not knowing what secret signal to pass, fuck.
Could it be that any alpha with some money is fine, what am I to him
14
I just wanted to teach him a lesson.
The old man is urging me to get married again, it's fucking annoying.
When I went back to look for him, the servants said that he was taken away by Zhou Chen.
Row.
15
The location shows that he has been in the hospital for the past few days.
I seem to have gone too far this time, I'm used to my strikes being careless, and I forgot that his small body is different from those alphas.
How could he become so weak, he was alive and healthy before, was it because of that stupid gland
I told him several times not to use those useless ones. The artificial glands can't be permanently marked and can't increase the chance of pregnancy. What is he doing with that crap
When he is discharged from the hospital this time, I will ask the doctor to take it for him.
16
Fang Yao asked me why I have been so playful recently, fooling around outside every day, don't I have to go home to accompany my wife
There is no one in the house, so stay with me.
Fang Yao said: "If you really like someone, you can put down your temper and change those nonsensical problems. If you let him play outside like this every day, no matter how much love he has for you, he can't afford it."
I said you know what a fart, I don't like him, and he doesn't love me either.
Money and sex transactions, whoever is emotional is an idiot.
17
He was finally released from the hospital. I put off my work in the afternoon and went home to wait for him, but he didn't come back.
18
he is gone.
I can not find him.
There have been a lot of messy things recently, the old man wants to use the inheritance to force me to get married, my mind is buzzing, and I blurted out that I want to get married with Xiao Yu, and no one else can fucking do it.
After I finished speaking, I was stunned for a moment, so I want to marry him...
Yes, that's right, why didn't I think of it before, if you can't mark him, you can still use marriage to keep him by my side.
The old man was so angry that he slapped me with a stick. Fuck, it hurts.
19
Is he angry with me? Why hasn't he come home yet
I found Zhou Chen's medicine record, and it really was him who tampered with it.
A lot of medicine, is he very sick, why didn't he tell me
I forgive him. He is young and loves to play in the colorful world outside. It’s okay to make some mistakes occasionally. I will try to lose my temper as little as possible in the future.
20
Even though I thought so, I was still going crazy when I heard Zhou Chen say that he touched him.
He is mine, how can he let others touch...
twenty one
Why is everyone stopping me from looking for him.
Why is the whole world against me.
I just want someone, why is it so hard.
twenty two
Wen Yan returned home. One more person added to the mess.
He said that I have a mental problem and it is best to see a doctor. I went to see it, but it was useless.
— Tolerance, understanding, sympathy, empathy. I understand the truth, but when I saw him, all reason disappeared.
I want him to hurt, to see him cry, to break him, to hide him, to hear him beg me, to say he loves me by my name.
I know I'm not a good person, and so does he.
Is it not good to rot together, why leave me.
twenty three
I went to his graduation party.
He shines on stage like a diamond that has been dusted off. That's where he belongs, but I'm jealous of every look that falls on him.
I wanted to gouge out their eyes so that he would only show me.
twenty four
I must find a way to get him back willingly.
25
I don't think I did anything wrong, but when he looked at me, I actually felt guilty.
He asked me if I loved him or not, and I asked myself the same question.
I have no idea.
But I think, there is no need for love between us, we just need to be together.
26
His health became very poor, and he had a fever as soon as he came back. Isn't Zhou Chen a doctor? How could he become like this.
He seemed to really like Zhou Chen, even threw away the necklace he had been wearing for so long, and replaced it with a necklace given to him by Zhou Chen.
I couldn't control my temper and snatched his necklace, and he even said he hated me.
He said word for word, "I hate you."
I've never been so powerless. The things at home and in the company combined didn't hit me as hard as this one.
I thought he just didn't love me, I didn't expect him to hate me.
27
I convinced myself it was okay.
I'll give him a new necklace.
I will marry him.
I'll let everyone know we're in this together.
I will own him for the rest of my life.
28
He... was pregnant. its mine.
We had a child.
We almost could have had a baby.
My heart hurts so much that I can't straighten my back.
It turned out that he hated me so much.
29
He said a lot to me.
He loved me.
Not in love now.
I feel like I'm really going to lose him.
30
At a certain moment, I thought, let it end like this, let him die in my arms, wait for me below, and we will go to another world to live together.
Entanglement in this life is not enough, it is okay to continue to entangle in the next life.
But in the end I am not willing.
I still want him alive.
31
Is it too late to admit that I love him now
32
Zhou Chen said that the child was aborted by me.
I deserve everything.
33
We were supposed to have an ordinary and ordinary story, getting to know each other, getting to know each other gradually, after a long period of ambiguity, confirming our relationship, and loving each other forever.
It was my mistake that ruined our future.
34
I went to the hospital to get his case. He suffered so much for me, and I tortured him like that.
Zhou Chen is right, I am a beast.
I said I love him, but I never made him really happy. He didn't even dare to tell me the truth, and didn't dare to rely on me.
He is afraid of the dark and pain, I know all this, how could I have the heart to treat him like that
Thinking back at that time, he had a heart attack and was pregnant with a child, and I wanted him regardless, how uncomfortable he must have been
He is prone to self-blame and anxiety due to depression, and I have never cared about him, and even thought he was hypocritical when he was weak.
In the end I... killed our baby.
No wonder he left me, no wonder he hated me.
how could i be such an asshole...
35
He and everything about him disappeared from my life, and I didn't find out. He didn't know when he moved away all the things related to him in the house, leaving nothing to me.
I've never been so scared, as if I've lost the most important thing in my life.
It turns out that I love him more than I imagined, and I can't leave him.
I want him back, but I'm not eligible.
36
I found the contract and the bank card he returned to me in the mailbox, and the money in the card was not touched.
How could this be... In the beginning, he was with me, wasn't it for money...
37
I know it's wrong.
Come back, okay
38
I'm going crazy.
I couldn't stay a moment without him in the house.
I went to his previous house, although it was a bit small, but there were traces of his life, which gave me some peace of mind.
39
Didn't expect him to come home. Together with Zhou Chen.
Zhou Chen knows how to take care of people better than I do, his complexion is much better, and there is light in his eyes again.
Only this time, his eyes no longer stayed on me, but followed another person.
I've seen him love me, so I know he's in love with someone else now.
An emotion called pain nearly overwhelmed me.
Would he have been this sad when he saw me with someone else before
40
It's his birthday.
I don't like these boring and useless things, birthdays, festivals, all kinds of inexplicable rituals.
But I know he likes it. He is still a child at heart, and he likes new, beautiful, and romantic things. I was too lazy to deal with it before, but now that I think about it, it’s good for two people to spend time aimlessly.
I don't know if there will be a chance to celebrate his birthday in the future.
41
Fang Yao and the others said that I have changed a lot.
No, I just learned to be honest.
42
He was kidnapped.
Watching him dying in the video, I realized that nothing in the world is as important as his safety and health.
As long as he is alive, I can let Zhou Chen take him away, I can do anything.
43
I do not regret.
44
I seem to have been in a coma for a century.
The past twenty years passed in my mind like a revolving lantern, and I realized that the few years with him were the happiest time in my life.
It's good to stop here, too, when he hasn't forgotten me.
45
Want to let go
46
I was discharged from the hospital and he didn't come to see me.
So be it.
Perhaps after a long time, I can forget him.
47
I went to his first show with Breeze.
I've always known him to be charming, even more so on stage.
He was a lark in the woods, not a canary in a cage. It was my selfishness in the past that made him almost dusty.
48
After the performance, he held a bouquet of roses and kissed Zhou Chen.
I haven't seen his expression like that in a long time, shy, bright, eager.
He lived as he was at the age of eighteen, brave and fearless, full of longing for the future, and full of love for the world.
This is the life he should have.
I couldn't give it to him, someone did it for me.
49
Day by day, busy and boring.
After he left, there was nothing to remember.
50
I had a dream.
In my dream, I returned to the age of twenty-three and met him at the age of seventeen.