Xie Lan had a very strange dream.
He had many dreams when he was a child, but since his mother passed away, he has dreamed less and less. When he occasionally dreams, it is always her in his dreams.
But this dream is a bit strange.
He dreamed that Dou Sheng and a boy wearing a mask were sitting behind a small table. The name tags on the table were "Dou, the most handsome man in the world" and "Young Master Ye Shen". People were walking in a line, and they always passed Dou Sheng first. When the first person was about to speak, Dou Sheng said, "Go to the next room."
The man said, "Okay."
The next one came, Dou Sheng said, "Goodbye."
The man replied, "I understand."
Next one - "Only fools follow me."
"OK."
And then the next one—"Do you know what you should do?"
“… go next door.”
No matter how long the night was, Xie Lan watched from a God's perspective in her dream how many fans Dou Sheng drove away.
When I opened my eyes, my head was splitting, my whole body was shivering with cold, and the quilt fell to the ground.
"… "
He probably learned it by himself, as he taught Dou Sheng a set of Shaolin serial kicks in his dream.
Xiao Ma bought breakfast. The first two days it was soy milk and fried dough sticks, and today there was also a coffee and a panini.
Dou Sheng put the coffee in front of Xie Lan and glanced at him, "What's wrong with you?"
"No." Xie Lan said sullenly, "I had a very annoying dream."
"You obviously have a cold, can you blame it on dreaming?" Dou Sheng got up and went to the living room in slippers. Xie Lan took a bite of the panini and found that he couldn't even taste the bacon.
He sniffed and opened Dou Sheng’s Weibo again.
Under the last post yesterday, fans lined up to refresh the screen.
- You Lost Me/Eye Roll
Copy and paste, draw until your fingers are sore and there is no end.
It's over. Xie Lan thought coldly, how could such a person have one million fans? It's really amazing.
He glanced at Dou Sheng's number of fans, which was more than 100,000 more than that of Bilibili. But he didn't keep track last night, so he didn't know how many fans had left overnight.
A box of cold medicine was placed in front of him.
Dou Sheng leaned over and got closer to the screen. "What are you looking at?"
"Look, all your fans have been scolded away." Xie Lan said emotionlessly.
Dou Sheng was stunned for a moment, then he laughed, "They just say that, but they love me in their hearts."
Xie Lan: “…”
Where does this sense of security come from
I felt groggy all the way, with the eyes-rolling emoji all over my mind.
As soon as I entered the classroom, I met Dai You who was carrying the test paper and said with a smile, "Good morning, Jiao."
Xie Lan: “?”
Dou Sheng raised his foot and kicked, "Shut up."
Dai You smiled and ran out in two steps. He jumped up and tapped the door frame before leaving.
Xie Lan asked in confusion: "Are you calling me?"
"What do you mean?" Dou Sheng said with a sigh, "He's rapping. It's always like this. If I don't rap for a day, my tongue will itch."
rap
Xie Lan sat down in confusion, took a tissue to wipe his eyes which were a little moist due to a cold, and said with a nasal voice, "I think your attitude as an up-master is not right." It even aroused my long-dormant ambition.
Dou Sheng paused while taking out his homework, "Huh?"
"I've seen your rival, Young Master Ye Shen," Xie Lan said. "He's more like a human being than you."
"How do you know him?" Dou Sheng frowned, took out his cell phone and poked at the desk in the hall, and after a moment he suddenly laughed.
"You want me to suddenly send a message saying: I love you so much, so much, so much?"
Xie Lan looked at him sideways.
Dou Sheng was so happy that he dropped his phone on the desk. "Do you know what those idiots will reply?"
Xie Lan's despair intensified. "Why do you call your fans fools?"
"They will collectively vomit, flood the screen with messages telling me to get lost, and then really unfollow me." Dou Sheng answered the previous question without thinking, and casually threw a pile of information on Xie Lan's desk, "Okay, learn your Chinese."
Xie Lan looked down and saw that it was bound with white paper and Dou Sheng's handwriting was on the cover.
"Two Cats Language Correction Book"
"What's this?"
"It's for you." Dou Sheng said, "Let's write down all the words and sentences you used incorrectly. There are too many Internet memes now, and we don't talk in tune with them, so we don't want to really lead you astray. I'll be the main writer, and I'll show you about once a week based on the amount of updates."
Xie Lan was a little surprised when he heard this.
Dou Sheng added: "It's mainly to make up for my cousin."
"Heh." Xie Lan immediately sneered and rejected him coldly with a nasal tone, "No need, take it."
The first page of the notebook is already full.
Yin and Yangguaiqi: Not “yingyangguaiqi”, which means a person has a strange attitude, cold words, or is sarcastic.
Bastard: It’s not “Wang Badan”, it means the unborn son of a turtle. Don’t learn this insulting word.
Just Nima: Although it can indeed enhance the tone, it is also an insult, so don’t learn it.
Falling flowers have feelings, but flowing water is heartless: unrequited love.
…
Xie Lan took a quick look and found that he had made only a small part of the mistakes, and most of them were caused by Dou Sheng and Che Ziming.
Something suddenly flashed through his confused mind. He glanced at Dou Sheng who was looking down at his homework and opened the idiom dictionary.
Jin, jin—359 pages.
He is now quite skilled at finding idioms and finds them in no time.
A luxurious house is a place for a concubine to live in. It also refers to taking a concubine.
Xie Lan was confused by this explanation for a while, then took out the dictionary on his mobile phone and clicked on the photo recognition function.
Netizens’ interpretation: Concubine: minor wife.
There was a loud bang from the back seat.
The classroom where homework was being collected in chaos suddenly became quiet, and the owls all turned around and looked towards the lower left corner of the classroom in confusion.
Dou Sheng was standing upright against the wall, but the stool had flipped over, with the back of the chair touching the ground, and the side touching his buttocks was perpendicular to the ground, sticking out innocently towards the sky.
Dou Sheng looked calm. He glanced at the stupid owls and picked up the stool.
"Sorry, I had a nightmare when I was sleeping. You guys continue," he said.
Che Ziming was shocked and said, "Your dream was about a martial arts movie, right?"
Wang Gou kept shaking his head, "Good fellow."
Xie Lan put his fist on the table.
Dou Sheng put the stools in place and sat down, very conservatively moving the distance between the two stools as far as possible. Before Xie Lan could speak, he stretched out two fingers and poked the table downwards, bent the joints, and slammed them down with a thud.
Xie Lan had a confused look on his face.
"Kneel down in front of you." Dou Sheng sighed, "Those idiots really didn't believe it. They might even think it wasn't my cousin, but another female friend. And since you don't want to appear on camera, I can only ask you to put it aside for now."
Xie Lan was furious. He looked at Hu Xiujie who was walking into the class and said in a low voice, "Why don't you want to solve the problem? You just let it go?"
"Letting it go is also a solution." Dou Sheng said helplessly, "My fans are special. Only time can deal with them, ancestor."
Xie Lan paused, "What is ancestor?"
"… "
Xie Lan asked in confusion: "Are you...recognizing me as your father?"
Dou Sheng turned his face numbly, opened the physics textbook, and began to take notes seriously.
Xie Lan was in a daze the whole morning. When he returned to the dormitory at noon, he climbed onto the bed with a dizzy head and couldn't help searching Baidu again.
It turns out that “I believed your lies” does not mean believing it at all. On the contrary, it means only a ghost would believe it.
The bed frame shook a few times, and Dou Sheng came up and sat down on top of Xie Lan.
He hissed.
Xie Lan looked up and saw Dou Sheng poking his left collarbone near his shoulder through his shirt. He frowned and muttered, "I found you to be very violent. I tried to talk to you nicely, but you kicked the stool and I bounced up and hit the wall hard."
Xie Lan said coldly: "Blame me."
"No, okay." Dou Sheng said perfunctorily, "No, I don't blame you. The second cat hitting the big cat is extremely treasonous and against heaven."
Xie Lan snorted, retracted his gaze and continued to rest with his eyes closed.
After a while, he suddenly opened his sore eyelids and looked up at Dou Sheng.
Dou Sheng just unbuttoned two buttons of his shirt, pulled away the fabric covering his left collarbone, and used the front camera of his mobile phone to check the bruise.
It was a pretty hard hit indeed.
At that time, Xie Lan wanted to kick him, but when he raised his foot, he accidentally hooked the leg of the stool, and with great force, he overturned the stool. Dou Sheng was also very agile, and he jumped up in an instant and stood firmly on the edge of the window sill, but his shoulder hit the wall.
At this moment, the middle section of the left clavicle was covered with bruises, which spread to the shoulder in varying depths. On the boy's flat shoulder, there was a small protruding bone near the end. There was a little redness near the small bone, probably because it was rubbed against the wall.
Maybe it was due to the cold, Xie Lan was inexplicably distracted again when looking at Dou Sheng's scars.
Then he sniffed, "I have an idea."
Dou Sheng put down the lifted cloth and looked alert, "What are you trying to do now?"
"Take a picture and post it on Weibo, then say that I beat you up." Xie Lan pinched his nose and then released it, trying to breathe, but failed. He had no choice but to give up and said in a depressed tone, "Tell the truth, say that I'm very angry, I'll punch you and order you to explain clearly."
Dou Sheng: “…”
"Are you serious?" He said in a desperate tone, "Take my advice and leave it alone. It will be fine in a month or two... Oh no, with what happened last night, it will probably take three or four months."
Three or four months
Xie Lan kicked his legs and sat up in shock from his dying illness, "Send it now!"
"… "
"Are you sure?" Dou Sheng held the phone between two fingers and turned it back and forth. "Put it aside for a while. This is sincere advice from a senior blogger. Are you sure you don't want to listen?"
Xie Lan thought that there was still a long way to go before becoming a blogger with one million followers.
Why does he have more fans, but he is always obedient and doesn't cause trouble? It's because he is sincere. The most important thing for a blogger is to communicate in time, explain the whole story sincerely, and respect fans and their intelligence.
"Send." Xie Lan ordered.
“Okay.” Dou Sheng lifted his collar, took a selfie, and posted it on Weibo. “You tell me what to type. I’ll obey.”
Xie Lan paused, "Just say that the person who was picked up from the airport was really a boy, and he really minds being called cousin. No one believed my explanation last night, so he beat me up. I hope everyone will stop letting this matter continue... continue..."
Dou Sheng smacked his lips, "It continues to ferment."
Xie Lan nodded in annoyance, "You can make up the rest."
Dou Sheng pressed his phone and said, "I sent it."
Only then did Xie Lan lie back on the bed with peace of mind.
I have a headache and a cold. I want to drink a cup of cinnamon tea with a piece of butter scone.
After a while, Xie Lan, who was about to faint, refreshed Dou Sheng's Weibo.
Only the comments section:
-
- Violent.Power.Delicate.Flower
- Is there a passionate scene here
- Is this something I deserve to watch
Xie Lan was still in a daze when a hand reached out from the other side of the railing and gently patted him on the head.
"Young man," Dou Sheng sighed, "you really know nothing about power."