The living room was dead silent. Zhao Wenying looked at Xie Lan's hand hanging at his side for a while, then turned to look at Dou Sheng.
The fatigue on her face was replaced by another expression, one of shock, one of trance, and one of scrutiny and vigilance.
That look was very complicated. Xie Lan couldn't fully interpret it, but his heart suddenly turned cold.
He knew that Zhao Wenying had heard the word "boyfriend" clearly and could not be fooled by him and Dou Sheng again. In addition, although he could not completely guess Zhao Wenying's reaction, the current situation at least told him that it was not the reaction he expected most.
Zhao Wenying's chest heaved, and he seemed a little excited, but he hesitated several times and then softened his tone.
After a long while, she put her hand on her chest and leaned against the back of the sofa. When she spoke, her voice was hoarse, "I just did a blood test, and the liver and gallbladder ultrasound is scheduled for the afternoon, so I'll come back to see you guys first."
She paused and continued, "I feel dizzy. Xiao Ma picked me up and brought me back. He took the car in for maintenance."
Dou Sheng immediately went forward and picked up the medical records on the coffee table. "Is the test report here?"
"What?" Zhao Wenying let him do as he pleased, but her eyes fell on Xie Lan's face.
Xie Lan's mind was blank, and he hastily avoided her sight. After a while, he remembered to go forward and look at the medical records together.
But Dou Sheng quickly put down the medical record and frowned, "Malnutrition anemia? How can you be malnourished? And I suggest you be hospitalized?"
Zhao Wenying seemed dazed for a while before answering, "Anemia can be serious or minor. The initial diagnosis is that it is caused by diet and drinking, but we have to do some tests this afternoon. There are also problems with liver function. It is recommended that you stay in the hospital for a few days to stabilize the indicators."
"I'll go with you." Dou Sheng said immediately, "Let's eat first, and I'll order some seafood."
Zhao Wenying was still looking at Xie Lan. After hearing his question, she looked away and glanced at him, "I've asked him to sell it. He'll be here soon. Xie Lan... go back to your room and study first. You come with me."
Xie Lan spoke stiffly, "Aunt Zhao, Xi and Dou Sheng..."
"You should go back to your room first." Zhao Wenying interrupted him. She spoke weakly, but her aura was strong. Her brows furrowed for a moment and then relaxed. "You have an exam tomorrow. Don't be picky. Just study your way."
Dou Sheng quietly nudged Xie Lan with his arm and whispered, "Please stay with your mother. I'll call you for dinner later."
Xie Lan was at a loss, so he just went upstairs. After entering the house, he felt uneasy again, so he put down his schoolbag and went back to the stairs. When he looked down, he saw Dou Sheng helping Zhao Wenying into the house.
The moment he entered the room, Zhao Wenying waved Dou Sheng's hand away, revealing his tense emotions. Dou Sheng immediately pulled his hand back, followed him into the room and closed the door behind him.
The door fell into the door frame with a loud "bang". The wind caused the cat fur on the stair handrail of Wutongluo to flutter in the air for a while, and it also seemed to blow Xie Lan's hand away.
Xie Lan stood alone for a long time before returning to the room feeling empty-handed. When Wutong saw him coming back, he immediately jumped onto the bed and rubbed his head gently in his hand.
He rubbed the cat for a while, then got up panic-stricken and checked his luggage again. After waiting for more than half an hour, he opened the door and went downstairs again.
The door to the master bedroom was closed tightly, and no sound could come through.
He wandered around the door for a long time but still heard no sound.
After a moment, he raised his hand hesitantly and knocked gently on the door.
Tap, tap.
Dou Sheng quickly responded: "Xie Lan?"
His voice sounded the same as usual. Xie Lan reached out to press the door handle, but Zhao Wenying said, "Go back to the room first. I haven't finished talking to Dou Sheng yet."
Xie Lan's hands froze in the air.
His mind, which had just come back to its senses, was empty again. He walked up the stairs, repeatedly savoring Zhao Wenying's tone just now - the tone was very empty, without obvious anger or disappointment, but it didn't sound as gentle and soothing as usual. If he had to say it, it was that there was no emotion at all.
Having no emotion is itself an emotion.
Just as he was about to enter the house, he suddenly heard Zhao Wenying's angry roar from downstairs.
"Isn't this selfish? What is selfish?"
Xie Lan was stunned for a moment, and Dou Sheng explained something immediately afterwards, but it was unclear, and then there was silence again.
The doorbell rang suddenly. Xie Lan, as if granted amnesty, hurried downstairs to open the door.
Zhao Wenying ordered his favorite Japanese food. There were more than a dozen lunch boxes stacked in a large paper bag, and the packaging was very exquisite.
He came back with the goods, the door of the master bedroom opened, and Dou Sheng came out.
"Let's eat." Dou Sheng said calmly.
Xie Lan looked behind him and asked, "Where's Aunt Zhao?"
As soon as he finished speaking, Zhao Wenying came out from inside, her eyes were red, and she was obviously choking up, which made the smile he had tried so hard to put on disappear in an instant. Xie Lan stood there, feeling ashamed, and let Dou Sheng take the food from his hands to the kitchen, but it seemed as if his feet had grown nails, nailing him to the spot.
Zhao Wenying had an unpleasant look on her face. She passed by him and reached out to pat him gently on the arm.
"Let's eat first." She whispered, "When you finish the admission exam and come back, we can talk about this in detail."
Xie Lan felt as if his back was shattered. He hesitated for a long time before he went in and sat down. He went with Dou Sheng to sell boxes.
But his hands were shaking, and he couldn't get it open after trying for a while, until Dou Sheng covered his hand with it.
"Come on." Dou Sheng took the box, his expression still normal, "It's okay, just enjoy your meal."
Only then did Xie Lan notice that there was a large red patch on his arm, probably from being slapped.
He subconsciously looked up at Zhao Wenying. Zhao Wenying looked at her son with genuine anger on her face.
He had been here for so long, but this was the first time he saw Zhao Wenying really get angry with Dou Sheng.
The atmosphere at the table was cold. Zhao Wenying didn't say anything, which made Xie Lan feel even more at a loss. Dou Sheng calmly served food to the two people. He didn't look up until Zhao Wenying finished eating and put down her chopsticks, then asked, "Are you going to the hospital now?"
Zhao Wenying ignored him and continued walking alone.
"Aunt Zhao!"
The words that were stuck in Xie Lan's throat finally came out.
He put down his chopsticks and stood up. His throat trembled for a long time before he said, "... I'm sorry."
He was confused and seemed unable to say anything except apologize.
He had many reasons to tell Zhao Wenying, from his state when he just returned to China, to his affection for Dou Shengsheng, his dependence on him, and his plans for college. There were also many truths to tell, such as sexual orientation is innate and should be equal...
But it's useless, because this is all about him and Dou Sheng. To Zhao Wenying, if this is an injury in itself, no amount of reasoning can erase it.
Zhao Wenying paused, and looked back at him after a long while. "Don't think about this for now. You haven't finished asking Dou Sheng about your questions yet. Let's talk about it after you finish asking him."
As she spoke, she suddenly felt dizzy, and she leaned on the door frame, frowned, and turned back to urge Dou Sheng, "Would you like to eat quickly?"
"I've finished eating." Dou Sheng stood up immediately, "I don't want to wait for Uncle Xiao Ma, let's call a taxi now."
Zhao Wenying walked away without saying a word. Dou Sheng waited until she left before following her. When he passed by Xie Lan, he gently grasped his elbow.
"It's okay." Dou Sheng whispered to comfort him, "Your mother is still questioning you, and she hasn't expressed her opinion yet. You can't tell what her final reaction will be, but at least she hasn't said whether she supports it or not."
Xie Lan was in a state of confusion, and subconsciously said: "Strange..."
"What nonsense are you talking about!" Dou Sheng squeezed his hand tightly, "You're the one who calls me your boyfriend, and you're the one who reveals the truth. What does it have to do with you?"
As he spoke, he sighed and whispered, "Today is a bad time, but it's already exposed. It's okay. You should accompany your mother to make sure she's fine. We can explain it slowly later. You must not separate. No matter what, get the admission first. Do you understand?"
Xie Lan's eyes were empty, and it took him a long time to finally grasp a clue, "What happened to Aunt Zhao's body?"
"I've explained these terms to you but you still don't understand." Dou Sheng sighed, "It seems that he is lacking some trace elements. He needs intramuscular injection. This is not a big problem. The problem is that his liver is a little abnormal. He has alcoholic liver disease. The doctor suggested that he be hospitalized for observation for a few days."
Xie Lan nodded, and subconsciously wanted to say that he would go too, but after glancing at the closed door of the master bedroom, he hesitated again.
Dou Sheng hugged him, rubbed his head, and stroked his back. "It's okay, it's really okay. But we can't take you to the airport tomorrow morning. Uncle Xiao Ma will take you there, okay?"
Xie Lan nodded immediately, "Are you going to the hospital tonight?"
"Eighty percent of it is." Dou Sheng sighed, "My mother didn't want to be hospitalized at first, but I guess... the scene just now was a bit overwhelming. She is dizzy now. It's better to stay in the hospital."
Xie Lan had a thousand words stuck in his throat, but he couldn't utter a single word.
He just stared blankly at Dou Sheng and Zhao Wenying as they packed up their things and walked out. Zhao Wenying stopped at the door and went back to the TV cabinet in the living room.
"Mom, what are you getting?" Dou Sheng came over immediately, "Don't squat, I'll get it for you."
"Go away."
Zhao Wenying frowned and waved him away, then opened the drawer of the TV cabinet, took out a small needle box and a magnifying glass, and placed them together on the back of the sofa.
She looked at Xie Lan and said weakly, "If you have a puncture on your hand, use a magnifying glass to look for it under the light. If you see a small white spot, use a needle to poke it out. The needles are sterilized, so be careful."
Xie Lan's throat suddenly choked, his eyes felt sore, but he still couldn't speak.
Zhao Wenying glanced at him and said, "Sleep well tonight and do well in the exam. I'll talk about this little thing between you two after I see you doctor first."
"Thank you, Aunt Zhao." Xie Lan choked up, lowered his head and looked at his toes, and whispered, "I will do better in the exam."
Dou Sheng's eyes were filled with pain and he subconsciously wanted to come over and touch his head, but Zhao Wenying gave him a look and killed him again.
The door opened and closed, and Xie Lan was the only one left in the room.
He stood there, his fingers and toes numb as if they had been electrocuted. After a while, he walked forward stiffly, picked up the magnifying glass and needle box, hesitated for a moment, put them back on the TV cabinet, and went upstairs to his room.
Tomorrow is Sunday, and it is difficult to book a hotel near the school. After looking for several hotels, there are no rooms. Xie Lan was in a mess and did not check hotels far away. In the end, he could only book a single room without windows in a fast hotel.
He held the phone, wanting to send a message to Dou Sheng, but he held back.
Dou Sheng was with Zhao Wenying, and his every move was under her eyes. No matter what Aunt Zhao's attitude was, at least she was feeling uncomfortable at the moment, and he shouldn't show off his presence anyway.
Xie Lan stood by the window, looking at the traffic coming and going on the overpass on the river, and was distracted for a long time.
After returning to China for so long, he has never felt this way since he stepped into this door.
Division, separation, loss of direction, and loneliness.
He still recalls the first words Zhao Wenying said to him when they met: "This is home. I ate dumplings on the bus and noodles when I got off. I did nothing else this afternoon but cook this bowl of noodles."
The scene of the day was still before his eyes. It was an ordinary sentence, but it took root in his mind. In addition, there was also an undisguised sentence "You are so much like Lang Jing".
After Xiao Langjing left, Xie Jingming rarely mentioned this name, perhaps because he felt guilty, or perhaps he simply hoped not to touch upon Xie Lan's trauma. This was understandable, but when Zhao Wenying opened her mouth and casually mentioned this long-lost name, it was as if the big stone stuck in Xie Lan's bottom was suddenly moved - the stone was still intact, but was gently poked, which made him suddenly realize that this stone was not dead, and it would move if it was poked and moved.
"Mee—" Wutong suddenly called out from behind.
Xie Lan came back to his senses all of a sudden, and felt a chill on his cheek. He raised his hand and felt something wet on the back of his hand and his jaw.
He sniffed, turned back and touched the Wutong tree, which immediately started to act coquettishly.
The worst result is that Aunt Zhao will not accept it at all. She is a strong woman, and she may order them to separate. It is also possible that she cannot stop them behaviorally, but she will not accept it emotionally.
If it is like this...
Xie Lan touched the sycamore tree with one hand and looked out the window blankly.
After a long time, he looked at the room where he had lived for half a year.
If that's the case, forget it.
He was frightened by the sudden thought, but in the next moment he felt sad that it was just like this.
He must not hurt Aunt Zhao.
You can't hurt a woman who is not related to you but treats him wholeheartedly. She carefully considers his feelings. She is exhausted from drinking and socializing, but she still thinks of making him a bowl of shaved ice to comfort him. The next day, she returns home exhausted and immediately takes care of herself to entertain his biological father.
But at that time, she was already feeling very uncomfortable, but she still had a few drinks with Xie Jingming at the dinner table.
As for the friendship between best friends, he didn't know how close they were back then. He only knew that every kindness Aunt Zhao showed him was sincere.
He should do the same.
only…
Xie Lan took out a paulownia leaf pendant from his pocket, touched it again and again, and focused his mind on the leaf veins.
But he will be very sad.
He no longer simply wanted to live his life again in place of his mother. He stayed in China more because he wanted to be with Dou Sheng. He also wanted to be a UP because he wanted to win the top 100 with Dou Sheng. If he couldn't do it at the same time, he would just watch Dou Sheng win the top 100.
I also want to take Dou Sheng to visit his parents' grave in England next year and tell my mother that I have finally left and I am very happy to be with this person.
How much he likes Dou Sheng.
The phone vibrated. It was He Xiu.
-The flight number and hotel name will be sent to you.
Xie Lan hurriedly sent the itinerary information, threw away his phone and lay on the bed to think.
Wutong lay beside him, snoring, half asleep and half awake. The kitten does not know the taste of sorrow, as long as it lies beside its owner, it never cares where to go home.
Xie Lan curled up in bed, watching the sky gradually darken. The setting sun gradually disappeared from sight, and the tall buildings across the river lit up one after another. As the night fell, the whole city was as lively and brilliant as usual.
He didn't know when he fell asleep, but he suddenly heard his cell phone vibrating and woke up with a start.
There was darkness in the room and outside the window, and it was hard to tell whether it was late at night or early in the morning. The cat next to Wutong was licking its fur absentmindedly, making a tsk tsk tsk sound.
The three words "Uncle Xiao Ma" appeared on the screen - 04:01.
Xie Lan's heart was pounding. He pressed the answer button and Uncle Ma asked crisply, "Is Lanlan up? You'll be downstairs in ten minutes."
"I'm up, I'm up." Xie Lan hurriedly got out of bed and stood in the middle of the floor, holding his phone and thinking blankly.
My heart was beating wildly and I felt uncomfortable.
Xiao Ma smiled and said, "Okay, wash your face. I brought breakfast with me so we can eat it on the bus. Be careful not to leave anything behind, especially your passport."
"Okay." Xie Lan calmed himself down, "See you later, Uncle Xiao Ma."
Xiao Ma said happily, "See you later."
The phone hung up.
The sky was just getting bright, and only a few cars passed by occasionally on the cross-river bridge. The whole city was still in a hazy silence.
It took Xie Lan a long time to pick up the phone again.
He had slept from six or seven o'clock yesterday afternoon until now, more than ten hours, and missed all the messages sent by Dou Sheng.
When I clicked on the first voice message, the background noise was very loud, but Dou Sheng's voice was still clear.
"I just settled down with my mother. The further test results came out. The anemia is not serious. I will give her B12 and folic acid injections later, for a total of three days. The intramuscular injection is quite convenient. After all, the liver damage is a little serious, but it is not a kind of incurable disease. I will take medicine and drip it, and go to the hospital for observation. I guess I will be discharged tomorrow or the day after tomorrow."
Two hours after this voice message, he sent another video of the ward at around ten o'clock in the evening.
Next to them was a double room, separated by a curtain, and the light in the room was a little dim. The camera turned around and captured the wall, the door, and Zhao Wenying, who was lying on the bed and flipping through her phone.
Zhao Wenying frowned and said, "Don't take pictures?"
"You're wearing makeup and look so beautiful, why not take a photo?" Dou Sheng muttered, but still stopped the video here.
Then came the text messages after midnight.
-What? Are you asleep
-Little Xie Lan
-Okay, I'll let Uncle Xiao Ma call you in advance tomorrow so he won't bother you tonight.
-The liver protection vaccine has been completed, and my mother ate a lot of lunch at night. The ward was a bit noisy, but my mother was still in a relatively stable mood.
-Xie Lan, don’t think too much, just believe me and study hard for the exam.
Xie Lan was finally relieved when she saw that Aunt Zhao was fine. She scrolled to the end of the message and saw that from the records, Dou Sheng went to bed at 3 a.m., so he was in a deep sleep and was unlikely to be awakened.
He tried to send an emoticon, but got no reply.
Uncle Xiao Ma was about to arrive. He hurriedly checked his packed schoolbag again, then glanced across the bookshelf and fixed his eyes on his mother's notebook.
A very weak thought suddenly flashed through my mind.
If I get the admission qualification, it doesn't matter whether I continue to study in the third year of high school here. I can come back or not... I can go back to London first, or just live in B city for a year.
This thought had been lingering in his mind yesterday, but he had been resisting thinking about it. But now that he had just woken up, this thought suddenly came to his mind uncontrollably.
But the moment it threatened, he quickly pinched it off.
The thought of giving up had been on my mind for the whole night, and when I finally gave it my first thought, it was also my last.
Xie Lan stood in front of the bookshelf, looking at Xiao Langjing's notebook for a long time, then turned his head stubbornly to look at the window.
How can you be willing if you are not willing
Unless Dou Sheng himself stood in front of him and said break up to him.
The doorbell rang in the house. Without time to think, he hurriedly pulled out a set of clothes he had brought with him from his schoolbag and stuffed a few notebooks into it.
"Lanlan?" Xiao Ma's voice sounded from below, "Are you going or not?"
"Let's go!" Xie Lan shouted.
He walked towards the door with big strides, carrying his schoolbag on his back, and turned back when he reached the door.
The violin was still standing next to the desk. He went over, picked up the violin case and went to Dou Sheng's room next door. He opened the door and placed the violin case on the bedside of Dou Sheng.
Xie Lan tapped the violin case again and again with his fingers, lowered his head and kissed it, and whispered: "If there is a storm outside and you haven't come back yet, you will be responsible for comforting your boyfriend on your behalf. Come on, you will definitely be able to do it."
The sound of Xiao Ma walking up the stairs could be heard. Xie Lan hurried back to the room, picked up Wutong and kissed him hard. With a mouth full of cat hair, he carried Wutong to Dou Sheng's bed.
"You too." He patted the cat's head. "Be smart and comfort yourself in your human form."
Xiao Ma curiously poked his head out of the doorway and asked, "What human form? What are you doing?"
"It's okay." Xie Lan smiled, "Let's go."
The flight was at 6:20, so he arrived at the airport, exchanged his boarding pass, and went through security. The boarding hall was very far away, and he hurried with his schoolbag on his back, and finally arrived at the boarding gate, just in time to board the plane.
I haven't taken a plane for a long time. The last time was when I returned to China from London. Although domestic planes are much smaller than transoceanic planes, the cabin has the same air-conditioning and cold feeling. The circulating air in the cabin has a special smell that makes people feel safe and disgusted.
Xie Lan's seat was by the window, and because Zhao Wenying's ticket was temporarily refunded, there was an empty seat between him and the uncle sitting by the aisle.
He fastened his seat belt and turned to look out the window.
The airport was empty, and a red sun was trembling and rising slowly from the horizon. At the beginning of the morning, although the sun was not yet bright, the bright sunlight clearly indicated that it would be a sunny day.
Dou Sheng still didn't reply to the message. His phone was silent, so quiet that it felt lonely.
Xie Lan reluctantly poked at the chat box with Dou Sheng again, and then opened Bilibili.
Today, all the private messages on Piao are related to the admission examination.
-Lanzai is going to T University for an interview today, good luck!
-Come on, Lanzi! Xie Lan is the best in the world!
-Dougzi is coming with you, right? Dmem, charge me!
Xie Lan was in a state of confusion and usually seldom read private messages, but this time he was scrolling down one by one, reading the same old blessings, and even replied to a few.
My eyes started to lose focus on the screen when a warning suddenly sounded in the cabin.
"Ladies and gentlemen, our plane is about to take off. Please confirm again, turn off your laptop and other electronic devices, turn off your mobile phone or switch it to flight mode, and fasten your seat belts. Thank you."
The flight attendant checked from the front to the back, and Xie Lan hastily sent another message to Dou Sheng.
"We are about to take off. Take good care of Aunt Zhao."
He hesitated at the first message, then sent another one: "Please tell her that I'm really sorry for disappointing her."
As soon as the second message was sent, the flight attendant walked up to him. Xie Lan immediately switched to flight mode and watched the signal disappear from the screen in an instant.
The flight attendant smiled at him and walked over.
The takeoff was smooth and on time. The plane was like a huge white bird, dragging its white wings, starting, accelerating, and taking off on the wide takeoff pad.
The airport and parking lot on the ground, as well as the winding highway we drove on the way here, gradually became smaller in our field of vision. The plane tilted as it rose, and rushed into the blue sky through the clouds.
This is the seventh month since Xie Lan returned to China. The sky is clear and bright tens of thousands of feet above, and soft clouds spread out in the sunlight, dispersed by the wings of the plane, and seem to embrace the plane and the people behind the window.
As vivid and delightful as he had come.
Xie Lan stared out the window, his mind somewhat empty.
It seems like just yesterday when I returned to China, but such a long time has passed in a flash.
It had been so long that he could hardly remember how gloomy the weather was in London.