Chu Yu was lying on the bed, tossing and turning, unable to fall asleep. Wrapping the quilt tightly, closing my eyes and brewing, not only did not fall asleep, but instead became more and more awake.
It was raining outside the window and there was a rustling sound. Usually Chu Yu wouldn't notice it, but tonight it was especially annoying.
Noisy.
Chu Yu pulled the quilt up and covered his head suddenly.
He remembered the scene of Lu Shi standing up, opening the bedroom door, and telling him to go back first. He slept by himself tonight, and he suddenly tightened the quilt.
If I sleep by myself, I sleep by myself. In the past ten years, I slept by myself.
My heart seemed to be blocked by wet cotton wool, and it was suffocating and uncomfortable.
He pulled the quilt down again, showing only his eyes, staring at the wall.
On the other side of this wall, there is Lu Shi.
Chu Yu couldn't figure out what he was thinking, so he felt very sad.
He felt that he was probably being hypocritical.
Lu Shi was so alienated and indifferent to others, or he was swift and fierce.
But although Lu Shi didn't talk much to him and didn't reveal much, Chu Yu could be sure that Lu Shi really removed his defenses and barriers, and let him rely on him.
Lu Shi was cold and hard to understand, but he was really nice to him.
But maybe because of this, Chu Yu felt so sad.
He obviously hadn't said anything yet, so Lu Shi pushed him out of the dormitory and closed the door.
Lu Shi didn't trust him.
Turning over, Chu Yu changed his posture. Instead of staring at the wall, he stared at Hewanglan by the window, and found that he couldn't remember how long he hadn't watered, and Lu Shi was taking care of it all.
Turning to the desk and the shelves, everything is neatly organized.
I don't know when it started, Lu Shi would help him clean up the pen and paper comic books that he put away.
Chu Yu went back and looked at it at this time, only to find out that what is meant by moisturizing and silent, and what is meant by being silent and deep, inch by inch, Lu Shi is.
I have even arrived. When I sleep, I always want to grab the corner of Lu's clothes and I have nothing in my hand, so I feel empty and unaccustomed to it.
Chu Yu knew that no matter who he was facing, he would subconsciously draw a clear line. From the bottom of his heart, he was afraid, afraid that he would trust a person wholeheartedly and ask for emotion from a person, and he would get no response in the end.
Like his mother.
He has always protected himself very well.
But when it came to landing, his boundary line was like drawn with light smoke, and when a small wind blew, it dispersed cleanly. He even took a step forward on his own initiative, telling Lu Shi that you can go a little further.
Sell yourself clean.
When you think about it, you're so angry!
But no matter how angry, it only takes a second or two.
Chu Yu was wronged again - I sold myself so cleanly, what do you think about me, Lu Shi
In a daze, I didn't sleep well all night, had a series of dreams, woke up, and didn't remember half of the picture.
With a sullen face, Chu Yu changed his clothes, stuffed the warm baby into his pocket, and went to the classroom.
When I went downstairs, I happened to meet Brother Meng. Brother Meng was holding a glass bottle in his hand, and he was bitter and hated.
Chu Yu was curious, "What is your expression? Your face is almost wrinkled into a flower roll."
Brother Meng shook the glass bottle in his hand, "My mother gave it, bird's nest. Do you know what bird's nest is? Swallow spit out saliva. I think about it, I'm so sick of it, I really don't know if I can make up for it after eating this thing. What!"
"Auntie asked you to drink bird's nest tonic?" Chu Yu thought, "Do you want you to... nourish yin and nourish your face?"
"Hey, it makes sense! Sure enough, one more person has more IQ!" Brother Meng was awakened, "School flower, if you say that, it's really possible!" He looked around, no acquaintance, and whispered, "I When I went back this weekend, my mother cheated me out, and found that I had someone I liked. I thought I would be beaten by my parents, but I didn’t expect my mother to be so anxious to die.”
"What's the hurry?"
"I'm worried about my appearance. If I can't catch up with girls, I'll be disliked. I also said that many girls today don't like my burly muscles and like that kind of handsome men!"
Brother Meng wondered, "You said, is it because of this that my mother let me eat bird's nest to improve my appearance?"
Chu Yu felt that the logic was completely fine.
The two were puzzled. Brother Meng happily finished eating the bird's nest and remembered, "Oh, that's not right, school flower, Lu Shen, why didn't I join you today?"
Chu Yu's expression was well managed, and he replied naturally, "Why can't you be with me?"
"Isn't it strange that Lu Shen is not with you. It's amazing. You and Lu Shen are about to stick together. As long as you or Lu Shen is a woman, Lao Ye has to talk to you."
Chu Yu didn't react, "talk? What?"
"Puppy love!"
Brother Meng sighed, "Oh, I actually really want Lao Ye to talk to me. I want to be in love early, I want to hold hands, I want to send my first kiss that I have treasured for more than ten years, but I just don't have a chance!"
Chu Yu was a little lost.
Brother Meng was still babbling, "Speaking of which, the girl I liked yesterday asked me to go to the woods. I was still anxious for a long time, and did a lot of psychological construction for myself. Unexpectedly, she gave me serious I talked about derivatives for an hour!"
There was another psychedelic smile on Brother Meng's face, "But I like her more and more. When she taught me some knowledge, her voice was very nice!"
Chu Yu was a little uneasy.
He took his seat, the back table was still empty, and Lu Shi didn't come.
Zhang Yueshan was arguing with Li Hua about the solution to the last question in the mid-term exam, by the way, he said with emotion, "I almost didn't finish the question!"
Li Hua replied, "This time the math paper is very difficult. I did it slowly. The last two questions were solved in a hurry, and I don't know how many points I can get."
Brother Meng heard that they were having a modest conversation between the academic bullies again, and hurriedly slipped back to his seat.
Chu Yu rested his chin in his hand and waited for the previous topic to come to an end before asking Zhang Yueshan, "Squad leader, what do you think... How is the relationship between me and Lu Shi?"
"You? The relationship is very good!"
"Then... monitor, who do you have the best relationship with?"
Zhang Yueshan reached out and patted Li Hua on the shoulder, "Of course I'm at the same table! We've heard the other person grinding their teeth and talking in their sleep!"
Li Hua pulled out an English paper to write, and lifted Zhang Yueshan's hand in disgust, "Don't be arguing, I'm writing a letter to myself!"
Chu Yu asked again, "Then... If one day, you are eating out together, and a girl comes to Li Hua for contact information, how do you... feel?"
Zhang Yueshan thought about it carefully, "Is that girl beautiful?"
"pretty."
"Of course it's my brother hurrying up, rush! It's not easy for someone to see you. What about chasing eighteen girls, fifty dating tips, etc., I'll help you find them right away, you must memorize them!"
Chu Yu was suddenly confused.
Zhang Yueshan's reactions and thoughts are normal, right
However, at the barbecue that day, a girl came to ask Lu Shi for his contact information. He was relieved when he heard Lu Shi refused.
Zhang Yueshan is keen, "School flower, are you having a conflict with Lu Shi?"
Chu Yu shook his head, "No."
Zhang Yueshan breathed a sigh of relief, "That's good!"
Lu Shi didn't come until the morning of self-study.
Chu Yu frequently looked to the door of the classroom, but no one came in.
Zhang Yueshan came back from the office and told Chu Yu the latest news, "Lu Shen has asked for leave."
Chu Yu was startled, "Any leave? I... I don't know."
"It is estimated that it happened quite suddenly." Zhang Yueshan explained in detail, "Old Ye told me that Lu Shen should be in a hurry. Yesterday at three o'clock in the morning, he asked for leave to leave the school overnight. Lao Ye was worried about whether something went wrong at his home. What's the big deal, I asked if I wanted to accompany you, but Lu Shen didn't say anything and refused."
Under the table, Chu Yu hooked his fingers on the strap of his schoolbag and asked in a low voice, "How long have you been here?"
"It seems to have taken two days. By the way, the mid-term exam papers are almost finished, and the ranking will be ranked at noon today. You don't have to guess. Lu Shen is definitely the first, but I don't know who will take the second place this time."
In fact, Chu Yu didn't hear what Zhang Yueshan said behind him. Those voices got into my ears and couldn't get past my head. He clutched the strap of his schoolbag with his fingers, feeling empty inside.
Lu Shi only got off the bus when the sky was bright. After looking for the address for a long time, I finally arrived at the destination.
In the old community twenty or thirty years ago, the bicycle was parked on the aisle, and the ginkgo tree grew tall, the leaves were about to fall, and only a few remained on the branches.
Lu Shi climbed the stairs to the third floor, raised his hand, and knocked on the door after a few seconds.
After a while, the door opened and it was an old lady. She held up her reading glasses and asked Lu Shi, "Is it you who called?"
Lu Shi nodded, "It's me, sorry for disturbing you."
The old lady opened the door and let Lu Shi come in, saying, "You don't need to change your shoes, I'm packing my luggage. The plane in the afternoon is messy everywhere. It's probably not as clean as your shoes in this place!"
Lu Shi followed and closed the door with his backhand.
The old lady washed the enamel cup, poured water, and handed it to Lu Shi.
Seeing that Lu Shi's eyes fell on the black and white photo frame, he said, "My wife has been there for half a year, and my son and daughter immigrated a few years ago. They didn't worry about the old woman and I was alone in the country, so they let me go abroad too. I can't bear it, I'm afraid that if my wife's soul comes back, what should I do if I wander around this old house and can't find me
But I fell a few days ago, which made the child anxious. I thought about it, let's go and take the old man's photo with me, as he is with me. "
Lu Shi listened quietly.
The old lady's hair on the temples was neatly combed, and she took away her emotions. "When you are old, you always like to say that there are some things like this. It's funny. Are you still studying?"
"Well, high school."
The old lady nodded, "What did you come here to ask me?"
Lu Shi took out a pendant with a photo from his bag, opened it, and found two photos inside. One is an ID photo, and the other was cut from an unknown location, all of which are of the same woman.
"Looks a bit like you, is she?"
"It's my mother."
Lu Shi asked, "Excuse me, do you have an impression of her?"
The old lady held the pendant and looked carefully through the reading glasses.
After a long time, he said, "If you come to ask other people, I don't think I have the impression. But this person, I still remember some."
She recalled, "This girl, I remember clearly. My husband and I worked in the clinic. At that time, there were no such good conditions, and those who could not go to the hospital to give birth had to come to us.
The first time I saw her, she came over with a big belly and said she wanted to abort the child. At that time, she was eight months pregnant, how to fight? It is too dangerous, if you are not careful, you will die.
We asked her, what about your husband? She just cried. "
"and after?"
"Then the girl left, but came back after two days. She still told us that she wanted to induce labor. I persuaded her, you are so beautiful, and the child is born, I don't know how good-looking it is.
But she looked in a very bad state of mind, and I thought, maybe there is something really difficult. Finally, I said, you think about it for another night, if you still want to induce labor, come over tomorrow. "
"Early the next morning, she came over. We told her all the possible dangers. The girl nodded and lay down on the operating table. Those tears kept flowing, hitting the hair on her temples. wet.
When my husband started sterilizing, she suddenly sat up, hugged her stomach and ran outside, crying and shouting, saying no, no, don't hurt her child. "
Lu Shi had a sore throat.
When the old lady spoke, she was full of sighs.
"It's been more than a month. In the middle of the night, she knocked on the door of the clinic, sweating all over her head. When I saw that she was about to give birth, I quickly helped her in and lay down. She was in severe pain, but The child just won't come down, poor thing, it hasn't been born yet after dawn.
I boiled an egg for her, she ate it, took my hand and told me that if there is a problem, the child must be protected. "
The old lady returned the pendant to Lu Shi.
Lu Shi opened his mouth and spoke, but made no sound.
He retracted his strength unconsciously, clenched the pendant tightly, and felt pain in the palm of his hand, and then said in a hoarse voice, "After she gave birth, is she okay?"
"It's pretty good. Although she was tortured when she was born, she didn't suffer any guilt after that. She hugged the child, crying and laughing. She smiled so beautifully. I went to see her for the first few days of her confinement period. Now, teach her how to put the child to sleep."
The old lady recalled carefully, "Later... Later, she should have moved away before the confinement period. I guess it was because of the rumors of the neighbors. Those people are used to He can chew the root of his tongue, and can smash a person's spine!"
Chu Yu was studying by himself in the evening, and was called by the head teacher Lao Ye into the office to talk about life. The main reason was that his test scores this time had dropped a bit more than the last time.
English is very competitive, ranking second in the grade, and the results of other subjects are quite miserable.
Chu Yu had a good attitude, sat upright, and listened carefully to Lao Ye's words until the bell rang after class. Back in the classroom, carrying an empty schoolbag, Chu Yu slowly squeezed the elevator downstairs and went back to the dormitory.
Passing by Lu Shi's door, he knocked on the door, but there was no sound inside.
Chu Yu lowered his wrist, stood for a while, and went back to his bedroom.
He rarely brought the keys.
The rain stopped, but it was wet and cold, Chu Yu stepped on the carpet barefoot and went to close the window.
Cold air is isolated.
Chu Yu took out his mobile phone and sat on the carpet to play games.
I couldn't help but think of what Lu Shi said yesterday.
After reviewing the game again and again in his mind, the more Chu Yu thought about it, the more he felt that Lu Shi did it on purpose.
Intentionally let him find out, intentionally let him hear.
Even if he didn't accidentally press the play button yesterday, Lu Shi would find another chance to play it to him.
Then tell him that he is monitoring Fang Weiyun's phone.
The character manipulated on the screen dies again, and the picture stops. Chu Yu was about to cut out when the phone rang.
The name displayed on the screen is Lu Shi.
After blinking a few more times, Chu Yu found that the phone was still ringing, and Chu Yu answered the call, "Hello?"
Passing through the narrow alley and stopping in front of a small door, Chu Yu took a breath—
Lu Shi brought him here once to borrow a heavy-duty locomotive, and he barely remembered the way.
After standing for a while, the door opened and Lu Shi came out.
In just one day, Chu Yu felt that Lu Shi... seemed to be different.
Standing in the same place, watching the neon lights on the roof fall, Chu Yu was inexplicably nervous and shouted, "Lu—"
The voice only shouted halfway, and he was hugged by Lu Shi.
Lu Shi was very hot, with a faint smell of alcohol on his body, his arms were like chains, and he held him tightly in his arms.
Chu Yu didn't dare to move and wanted to ask you what was wrong, but within two seconds, he noticed that Lu Shi's back was shaking slightly under his palm.
Something stuck to the skin on the side of the neck, wet.
Lu Shi was crying.
In Chu Yu's ear, Lu Shi's voice was hoarse, "She gave birth to me, but I killed her."
she
Chu Yu dared to guess that this she should be... Lu Shi's biological mother
The train of thought was interrupted, and suddenly, Chu Yu was pushed by Lu Shi to the wall behind him.
The walls were cold and hard, and Chu Yu put on a thick coat as a buffer when he went out.
He subconsciously shouted, "Lu Shi—"
Lu Shi's eyes were dark, suppressing the emotions that others could not understand.
With his fingers pinching Chu Yu's chin, Lu Shi stubbornly made him look into his eyes.
Lu Shi's eyes were red, but Chu Yu noticed that his wet eyelashes and the end of his eyes were soaked because of tears.
My heart also felt uncomfortable.
As if afraid that Chu Yu would say something that would reject or make him unhappy, Lu Shi covered Chu Yu's mouth with his hand, then leaned over and leaned closer to Chu Yu's ear, murmuring maliciously,
"Chu Yu, my blood is so dirty, you sucked my blood and you became dirty with me."