The night wind blew my skirt, and after a while, I found my own voice: "Why are you still here?"
Zhuang Xu and his dormitory also came when we were dropping off A Fen. I didn't pay much attention to his whereabouts, but why didn't he get in the car
His eyes flashed, "I'm standing behind you, you can't go up, and of course I can't go up either."
This sounded like an accusation, and I recalled the tragic experience of being pushed from the front to the back, and I couldn't help feeling a little embarrassed, "I'm sorry."
"You should say thank you."
His voice was a little soft, but I could hear it clearly. It was a little inexplicable, but I didn't think about it. I asked, "Where are the others?"
"I don't know." He answered cleanly after a pause, looking a little sullen.
It's just that he didn't catch the bus. It's not a big crime, right? I was about to say something casual and part ways when his phone rang.
He took out his phone, looked at the flashing words on the screen, and then picked it up.
"Hey."
…
"I couldn't get up."
The other party is probably asking where he is, so, is it Rongrong's phone number? I was guessing when I suddenly heard him say, "I'm with Nie Xiguang."
My heart skipped a beat.
His call was coming to an end, and after saying "yes," he hung up.
"My roommate's phone number?" I guessed, otherwise he wouldn't have said that he was with me directly.
He gave me a deep look and said, "Rongrong."
I was speechless for a while, and after a while I asked, "What did she say?"
"They have already boarded the bus and asked us to take a taxi."
"... Then take a taxi."
He nodded.
I felt in my pocket, and then I remembered that sending A Fen to the train station was purely on a whim. I didn't bring any money, even the coins for the bus were given by Xiaofeng, I felt a little embarrassed and said, "I didn't bring any money ,do you have?"
He looked at me, probably because of the night, his eyes were particularly deep, he paused, as if thinking about whether he had brought any money, and then said, "Neither do I."
"Ah?" I couldn't help being dumbfounded: "What should I do then?"
He glanced at me again and took the lead: "Walk."
I was still standing there, he walked for a while, stopped, turned to look at me from a distance, didn't say anything, just kept silent. I pursed my lower lip and started to follow.
I didn't expect that after so many things happened, we could still walk on this empty road together on such a night.
Just walking, not talking to each other, made me uneasy for a while, and finally I had to start counting my steps, so as not to idle my brain and think wildly.
The Nth count was wrong. When I started to count again, I suddenly heard a somewhat empty voice in the night wind from Zhuang Xu: "You didn't use my paper."
As soon as he opened his mouth, the numbers I meditated were messed up again, and he paused and said, "Well, that's not good at all."
I thought that this topic should end here. Who knew he would stubbornly ask: "What's wrong?"
I was stunned, do I have to say that because this paper was written by you to apologize for Rongrong, I feel bad
"...After all, you wrote it."
"Really? You don't want what I wrote?" He asked in a questioning tone. "In the summer vacation of the junior year, we just met each other soon, and you asked me for a reference for the thesis of the professional course..."
You didn't give it to me that time, I answered with a bit of bitterness in my heart, and I actually wrote it in random that time, I just wanted to find a reason to communicate with you more.
"...You just think my thinking has improved."
I don't want to think about the past at all, every detail is so stupid that I can't wait to destroy the corpse. Fortunately, only he and I knew about it.
However, maybe Rongrong will know? When they were together, would he talk about me and tell Rongrong the stupid things I said, which made her smile.
This kind of thinking is too scary, and it has a tendency to go crazy. I don't want to go with him. Such a quiet night and an empty road are not suitable for the two of us.
My steps slowed down.
"You go first." I said, "I can't walk anymore, you don't have to wait for me."
He stopped and looked at me with a frown, "How... how pampered are you?"
... I'm just making a random excuse...
His eyes fell on my feet, his frowning brows expressing strong disapproval. "How do you come out wearing such shoes, only looking for beauty, not at all..."
He probably realized that his tone was inappropriate, and suddenly stopped.
I looked down at the innocent stiletto sandals on my feet and couldn't help but avenge them: "I didn't expect to walk today, and these are ordinary shoes, which are popular this year, and everyone in our dormitory has a similar pair. "
And if I remember correctly, the shoes Rong Rong is wearing today are also these kind of thin heels. Sure enough, it would be a mistake to see a person not pleasing to the eye, even what kind of shoes she wears.
"Really?" he said after a pause. "I didn't notice."
I was silent for a while and asked, "Zhuang Xu, do you dislike me?"
"I feel like I'm not motivated and lazy all day long..."
Still pampered
I didn't say the last few words, and I felt that I was very inconsistent with myself. When I was a child, my parents were busy with work, and I was left at my grandmother's house in the countryside for a long time. I didn't live well, at most, I'm a little bit inactive now... In his opinion, this is considered spoiled.
"Yes." He answered the first half of my question without hesitation.
... He really is, never give me any face.
I couldn't help but say, "But there's nothing wrong with this, right? Everyone must have a big goal? It's good to be happy and not interfere with others. Why do you think so much?"
He listened silently, saying nothing. He obviously won't agree with me, he's the kind of person who has a lot of goals and must do it. I don't know why I'm telling him this, maybe I just want him to understand, maybe I'm a little loose, but that's my nature, I like days like this, and there's nothing wrong with it.
I remembered a test I did with Jiang Rui recently, about eating big grapes and small grapes first. "There is a test that asks if you eat grapes, do you eat the big ones first or the small ones first. I should be the kind of person who eats the big grapes first. If you eat the small grapes first, you might not have the appetite to eat the big ones first. What about the grapes? If you can live happily now, why do you think so far?"
He said softly, "What if there were never big grapes?"
"what… "
I was stunned. Thinking of his family, a burst of grief suddenly appeared in my heart. I have never felt like I am so unreasonable.
"No, I have." He said suddenly again, "It's just the only big grape that I got mad and ran away."
He got angry and ran away... Is it Rongrong? I remembered that in the last few dinners, they didn't sit together and didn't talk much...
Naobu's thin and slender Rongrong turned into a round grape. I couldn't help laughing when I was lost, but seeing how serious he was, I was too embarrassed to laugh and just said, "She will run again. back."
"Really?"
Zhuang Xu asked seriously, making me feel as if my answer was important. However, I am not tolerant.
However, his urgency to get a positive answer made me nod involuntarily. Maybe he just needed a word of consolation from others.
"Really." I said very seriously.
He didn't speak any more, just smiled, as if suddenly relieved.
Zhuang Xu had never laughed like this in his memory, as if the fog had cleared and the clouds had opened up. I was a little shaken by his laugh, and when I recovered, I was even more disappointed.
Such a smile is not for me, and I will never see it again in the future. Driven by the disappointment that came from this surprise, I suddenly called out his name, "Zhuang Xu!"
There was still a smile in his eyes. "how?"
For a moment I wanted to say something, it was my last effort, but I suddenly remembered, haven't I done my last effort many times
Moreover, I didn't know at that time that he and Rong Rong were interested in each other, but now that I know, I should have avoided it.
"It's nothing, just call me."
He looked at me without blinking, as if he had to tell me something.
"Really call me whatever you want..."
There seemed to be some disappointment in his eyes. I suspected that I had read it wrong, and I felt that he probably just thought I was bored and a little impatient.
After a moment of silence, he looked away, "A few more steps, there seems to be a place that sells shoes, you can change your shoes."
Is there anyone setting up a stall so late? But it's useless.
"I have no money." I had to remind him, "Didn't you bring any money?"
He seemed to be choking a little.
"Let's go, it's not about the shoes," I said.
Afterwards, we didn't say anything, we walked unhurriedly all the way, back to school, and at the fork in the dormitory area, I said "goodbye" that had been brewing for a long time.
I was about to take a hard step when I heard him say, "I'll take you downstairs."
"No..." I wanted to say no more, but when I raised my head, I saw his expression, which was so soft in the night, so I swallowed a sentence.
Such a look shouldn't be facing me at this moment, so maybe it's not for sending me off? Maybe Rongrong is waiting for him downstairs
Then why should I refuse so affectionately, so I didn't say anything and walked to the dormitory silently. When I was about to arrive, I couldn't help but look downstairs in the dormitory to see if it was as I expected, Rong Rong, etc. downstairs.
It was empty downstairs.
I was a little surprised, but it wasn't much of a joy.
I just wish Rong Rong would wait there, so that I can go upstairs cleanly and leave them all behind, instead of just thinking that we have a few more minutes of solitude like this.
How pitiful.
And, to say "goodbye" again.
This time I really want to see you again, and there is no more way for him to accompany me to finish.
We invariably stopped in front of the dormitory door.
For a moment we were silent to each other, and I lost the crispness of just saying goodbye. Maybe that kind of strength will only be used once.
I walked up the steps and couldn't help but turn around again.
"Zhuang Xu."
"Huh?" Before he left, he stood under the steps and looked up at me after hearing the words. I've never seen him from this angle, so I never knew that the way he looked up slightly at people was so good-looking.
Driven by inexplicable emotions, I said without hesitation: "You still look better with shorter hair."
Best to wear a white shirt, light blue jeans...
Just like the boy I saw at my uncle's house that day when I heard the doorbell and ran to open the door.
"Hello, is this Mr. Jiang's house? I'm Zhuang Xu." The boy asked politely.
Then I looked at you blankly: "Zhuang Xu?"
You answered calmly and calmly, "Yes."
I was stunned for a moment, as if that moment were all in front of me.
"What else?" He asked me impatiently, not impatiently.
"No more." I bowed my head.
It was quiet again between the two, and there was absolutely nothing to talk about. I should have gone upstairs, but I can't bear it, such a time will never happen again.
If only the night never dissipated.
It would be great if the stars never set.
It would be great if you could stand here with me all the time.
But there is no if, no, and today is the end.
It was obviously the moment of parting, but my mind was full of eternity. I stood brazenly without saying goodbye, and was silent. He didn't even speak, and stood silently with me.
But how long can we delay this moment? I took a deep breath and looked at him.
"I'm up."
I ran upstairs and looked at him from the second floor window, he was almost out of my sight. Before the green tree completely covered his back, I suddenly couldn't control myself and shouted at him loudly.
"Zhuang Xu."
He stopped and turned around.
He's too far away, I can't see his expression clearly, so he must not be able to see my appearance.
So I burst into tears without scruples and waved to him vigorously.
Goodbye, Zhuang Xu!
I still like you, I still like you, but it seems that I suddenly feel at ease.
It's good to know that you'll always be somewhere, Zhuang Xu.
Then, from now on, I don't like you, and the sky is wide open.
End of university
- We broke up that night, thinking about goodbye alone and the future alone.