In my short twenty-two years of life, I have never heard such a sentence, which made me—more than a week without a good night's sleep...
Even when he fell asleep, he had some messy dreams.
Once dreamed of Zhuang Xu.
In fact, I can't say that I dreamed of him, because he never appeared in my dreams.
I dreamed that Jiang Rui and I were in the small garden of my uncle's house, and I asked Jiang Rui confidently: "How is it, is it almost the same, let me analyze it from the perspective of your boy, do you have a good grasp of confession now? "
Jiang Rui is more confident than me: "You should have rushed up long ago, what kind of favorability is there, can my sister use it?"
Then I was in high spirits walking on the way to find Zhuang Xu.
Then I was woken up by the heat.
I was sitting on the bed with the quilt in my arms. I was very fortunate that I covered an extra blanket today on a whim, otherwise the next scene would be the rejection of my confession.
I don't want to recall that scene at all.
Although I didn't feel embarrassed at the time, I didn't even feel discouraged, and I was confident and immediately ready for the next battle.
The real embarrassment and frustration came after knowing the relationship between Rong Rong and him, after sending an apology message but not getting a reply, after he looked coldly at me being accused by Rong Rong, and every moment that accumulated over time...
Speaking of which, I was planning carefully at the time...
I collected his information earnestly, asked his childhood sweetheart what his hobbies were, and asked Jiang Rui to help me talk about what kind of girls he likes. I would lie in bed at night and compare myself with myself, laughing for a while and worrying...
Lin Yusen said that he demonstrated the annual plan overnight...
Is it the same
I climbed out of bed, took out my phone, and dug out the photos and text messages he sent me when I was in Shanghai.
The Huangpu River in the dark, half a glass of red wine on the balcony, the originally emotionless picture, at this moment, suddenly makes people feel sour.
"I'm thinking about how to adjust the annual plan."
His text message said so.
How did he feel when he said this
Later, when he said, "I let you choose", what kind of mood would he feel
I used to like Zhuang Xu so much, but if I were to run and tell him that I would let you choose between me and Rongrong, it would be better to kill me and be happy.
Lin Yusen, why can you say those words with such a firm tone
I put down my phone and lay on the table, obviously sleepy, but I know I won't be able to sleep again tonight.
The result of lack of sleep is a lack of energy all morning, but fortunately today... the leader is not there. When I went to the cafeteria to eat at noon, the aroma of the food did not lift my spirits.
"Xiguang, you're going to Shanghai to attend the wedding this time, won't you be having trouble with Vice President Lin again?"
I was shocked, and the dish I just picked up fell on the table.
Yin Jie suddenly felt distressed, "Oh! You waste of food, you are willing to throw away the braised pork so delicious, don't order it if you think it has fat!"
Who thinks there is fat... I'm not scared by you! Eat well and suddenly talk about some key words!
When Yuhua saw the braised pork on the table, she also cast a condemning look at me. "That's right, if you think it's too fat, you can give it to me and Yin Jie. The braised pork cooked by the new master is very good. Many restaurants outside are not so delicious."
"It was hired with a high salary." Yin Jie said vaguely while eating, "Didn't the company increase the subsidy for each meal from the 1st of this year. Hey, I said, the company is so generous now, and the salary increase will be at the end of the year. The magnitude will not be low, will it?"
"It's hard to say. I heard from old employees that they basically didn't add it last year."
"The benefits in the fourth quarter of this year are so good, it shouldn't be. Vice President Lin's style is different from that of the previous leaders. You can see that people are delicious when they come to the cafeteria."
"It's not something he can decide alone, right? It needs the approval of the headquarters."
Seeing that the topic changed to a salary increase, I secretly breathed a sigh of relief, but on the way back to the office after eating, Yin Jie changed the topic again.
"Xiguang, why did you offend the vice president?"
"… No ah."
"The day before yesterday, he asked you to take the minutes of the meeting. What do you mean when you pretended to have a stomachache and ran to the toilet and didn't come out?"
"What's the matter with the stuff that I have done, and let me give it to Vice President Lin to sign?"
"Yeah." Yu Hua added on the side, "Last time I took the elevator with you. As soon as Mr. Lin came in, why did you immediately look at your feet? Why did you run away before you reached the floor?"
I just wanted to ask, why are you observing so carefully
I just don't want to exercise my little heart, can't I
I watched them silently for several seconds, and finally made a difficult choice between "silencing them" and "stopping their mouths".
"How about we go out to eat tonight, squirrel mandarin fish and chicken head rice?"
"Don't try to divert your focus! Actually, I don't think you offended the vice president. Could it be... Oh, why are you beating me up? I didn't have time to say anything. You are guilty of being a thief!"
Yin Jie was shouting when my phone rang. I went to the edge to connect, and Doctor Fang's sad and angry voice immediately came: "Xiao Nie, invite me to dinner! I want to break the news to you, that bastard, junior brother, said he helped me write my thesis, so just hang up with me now. , he crossed the river and demolished the bridge!"
So at night, I released Yin Jie and Yuhua's pigeons and sat face to face with Senior Brother Fang in a restaurant on Guanqian Street.
"Bastard, I helped him so much, he said to hang up my phone! Xiao Nie, you must recognize the true face of others!"
"He did it for you to be hospitalized for ten days. I have good medical ethics."
"… "
"And he insisted on discussing cases with us in the hospital. Of course, he also helped me write medical records and discharge diagnoses... What else? Oh, eat together? You must know that he did all this, kidnapping you. I don't need to tell you about such a shameless thing as attending a junior sister's wedding?"
"...No need." I hesitated for a while, "But, that, Senior Brother Fang... Are you really here to break the news?"
Doctor Fang blinked and said, "Ouch", "Xiao Nie, you have been with my junior brother for a long time, you have made progress, not bad!"
He was not embarrassed to be exposed, and said with a smile: "I am just bored. By the way, I am afraid that it will affect the temperament of my thesis, you know!"
… Actually, I don’t quite understand. Does the paper still have the temperament
I poked at the fish head that was accidentally caught by me, "He... told you?"
"He's very boring. If he didn't ask me for help, he wouldn't tell me if he was chasing a girl. What's the situation now, do you need to tell me?" Senior Brother Fang grumbled, "Calling Give him one word, 'busy', and hang up, this is obviously shameless to see Jiang Dong's elders."
It turns out that there are really old Jiang Dong...
Senior Brother Fang looked at me curiously, "Xiao Nie, you still don't like my junior brother, how high your vision is."
"… "
In other words, why do I want to discuss my relationship with Lin Yusen's senior brother here, but, with such a two-faced and gossipy appearance, I actually feel that there is no violation of what is going on
"Benefits can only be enjoyed by paying insurance premiums." I whispered.
There is nothing in this world more disturbing than getting something for nothing.
"What benefits? What insurance money? I can't understand what you said, Xiao Nie. This profound feeling is becoming more and more like my junior brother."
"...Senior brother, eat fish!"
I graciously took a squirrel mandarin fish with my public chopsticks and gave it to him.
Brother Fang was eating fast, and when the two bowls of rice went down, he put down his chopsticks and said contentedly, "Then, I'm on the night shift today, so I won't send you. I'll send a message to the younger brother, and he will come to replace me in a while. take you back."
I was stunned for a long time: "Senior brother, you are too obvious..."
Brother Fang said without being ashamed at all, "Is that so? I'm sorry, let's be a surgeon. The surgery is usually too delicate. In life, it's very simple and rude. It's good to get used to it!"
While listening to his nonsense, I suddenly raised my head and saw Lin Yusen at a glance. He was walking towards us through the noisy lobby.
Senior Brother Fang followed my gaze and glanced back, and then came back with a tsk tsk: "Did you see, my junior brother, back then, when I went to eat with a lunch box, I was able to look like a cafeteria. Although I'm a bit older now, I still don't think so. Did you reduce the coquettishness of the past?! Xiao Nie, think about it, if you took him down, all the seniors and juniors in the medical school would be envious, jealous and hateful towards you back then. How grateful! Excited? Are you happy?"
"Senior brother, don't scare her."
With the gentle voice, Lin Yusen had already walked closer, and the light gray coat inadvertently brushed the hair on my shoulders.
I suddenly felt that the whole air was different.
He took off his coat and put it on the chair next to him, and sat down gracefully: "I haven't eaten yet, do you mind if I eat the rest?"
"Xiao Nie's treat today, I have no opinion if she has no opinion."
I shook my head quickly, and then started staring at the fish head in my bowl, seriously studying how to eat it.
Before I could figure out what to do, Senior Brother Fang wiped his mouth and ran away. Lin Yusen ate without saying a word, as if he was starving. Also, near the end of the year, the company has a lot of things to do, and something went wrong with the expansion of the factory. He has to go to the Shanghai headquarters to hold the annual meeting, and Mr. Zhang doesn't care, he is very busy...
If he hadn't been so busy, I wouldn't have avoided him so well...
"Let's go."
"Ah... ok!" I quickly stood up and reached for my wallet, but Lin Yusen held it down with one hand.
Involuntarily, I looked up at him and made eye contact with him for the first time today.
It was a short moment, but I suddenly noticed a lot of details that I hadn't noticed before. For example, his eyelashes were actually very long, which made his eyes look particularly bottomless.
"I come."
"But today, I invite Senior Brother Fang..."
His bottomless eyes stared at me, "I used to play with you, but now it's all clear, can you still pay for it?"
I don't know how to answer, I silently withdraw my hand. Watching him pay with his card, he followed him out of the restaurant.
Cold and lively came together.
I flinched a little, and Lin Yusen glanced at me, "The place where I parked is not far."
"Oh." I responded.
After a few steps, Lin Yusen said, "I didn't know that he was looking for you today. You don't need to pay too much attention to what he said."
Don't you care
"He said that at that time I didn't have to be hospitalized for ten days at all."
Lin Yusen let out an "ah" and smiled, "It turned out to be a sneaky report."
"Really?"
"Yeah, at that time I was in a hurry, and I couldn't care about medical ethics, and I agreed to any unequal treaties."
I can't answer the call again. I found that I seriously underestimated Lin Yusen's calmness and... Shameless, I thought he would at least be embarrassed. However, he suddenly thought of himself a long time ago, liking someone, and he seemed to be so frank and direct.
I couldn't help but start to think, what would it be like if I first met Lin Yusen
Will I fall in love with him at first sight
Did he like me first, or did I like him first
Both of them are so straight to the topic, will they hit it off...
That's probably fine too...
"If only I knew you first."
As soon as the voice fell, I was annoyed, how could I unknowingly say what I was thinking. This is true, it's not quite right.
Seriously, why do I behave erratically when I meet Lin Yusen now.
Sure enough, Lin Yusen fell silent for a long time, the lights on the roadside cast a shadow on his face, and his expression was extraordinarily deep and unpredictable. I was a little uneasy, so I deliberately found a topic and said, "Are you going to help Senior Brother Fang write a thesis?"
He answered me after a while, and said indifferently: "Well, his paper is related to a topic I studied before, so I'm just giving some advice."
I suddenly remembered a long-standing doubt, "Senior Brother Fang, do you know about you..."
Lin Yusen quickly understood my unfinished meaning, and still said lightly: "I know, I had a car accident on the expressway before, and was the closest to Suzhou, and was sent directly to his hospital."
I was suddenly a little annoyed with Doctor Fang.
"Then he also asked you to write a paper!" Isn't this exposing people's scars!
He turned his head somewhat unexpectedly, smiled suddenly, and the gloomy feeling dissipated, "Face the life of handicapped hands. It's enough to be hypocritical for more than a year. Is it hypocritical for a lifetime?"
I was slightly startled.
This person always exudes a heartbreaking momentum all the time, inadvertently.
"Actually, I've been reflecting for a few days." He said with a slight sigh, "I was so impulsive that day that I scared you."
He suddenly jumped to this topic, and the naturalness I pretended to disappear suddenly, and I stumbled a bit and said, "No, no."
"Where is it? It's only been a few days, and the dark circles have come out." He looked at me tenderly and blamed himself, "Xiguang, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said those words when you were unprepared, if I gave you I am sorry for the inconvenience."
I stopped abruptly and looked at him blankly.
Why is this sentence so familiar, as if... I once said it myself.
- I'm sorry, I didn't know you were with Rongrong, otherwise I wouldn't have told you that. Hope it didn't bother you.
Suddenly, a sadness hit me hard.
The worst kind of apology in this world is to apologize for what you like.
"Do not say it that way!"
How can I tell him that his love is very precious, although I dare not accept it, but I cherish, respect, and move. For this reason, I can't stand still because I can't reciprocate it, not because I can't avoid it.
But as clumsy as I am, at this time I can only repeat, "Don't say that."
He seemed to be stunned for a few seconds too, probably my reaction startled him. There was a hint of annoyance on his face, and he seemed helpless, "Okay, I won't say that. But what did I say? You're almost in tears. You cry so much?"
"Don't apologize."
"Okay, I don't apologize. I'm just... It's hard for you to hide from me," he smiled. "I won't do this in the future, I promise."
"Then don't hide from me, okay? If you are tired like this, I will cooperate with you to hide. It's also very hard."
Uh
Isn't it because I'm smart and clever that I managed to avoid him these days
He smiled bitterly, "I try to find a way to go to the factory and Shanghai every day. I can't think of any excuse to go to Shanghai tomorrow, so why don't you run away?"
I suddenly felt guilty and nodded randomly, "No way."
"real?"
Nod again.
"Well, then work overtime with me today?"
I nod... Halfway through, "Huh?"
I finally found the rhythm of getting along with Lin Yusen in the "everyday" overtime. At night after working overtime, I finally lost my insomnia and slept soundly.
When I woke up in the morning and looked at myself in the mirror, the dark circles under my eyes had disappeared. I seriously thought about how likely I was to suffer from overtime obsessive-compulsive disorder.
It was a busy day as usual.
Lin Yusen hasn't been in the office for several days, and he has accumulated a lot of work. He has been sitting behind his desk all morning. As soon as I turn my head, I can see his tall figure behind the glass window.
Of course I won't turn my head around.
I have a lot of work too. I made a budget in the morning, and the prizes to be distributed at the annual meeting in the afternoon were delivered. My colleagues from the logistics department and I collected the prizes downstairs.
My colleague in the logistics department is called Xiao Duan, and I am relatively familiar with him. He ordered the goods, I checked it with the list, and chatted occasionally. Chatting and chatting, Xiao Duan suddenly mentioned a movie, "I don't know if you have seen it. I heard that it is very exciting. If you don't watch it, it will be down. Saturday I..."
"This movie is not for her."
A warm voice suddenly sounded beside him.
Xiao Duan and I turned to look over and saw Linyu Forest Vice President and several factory managers standing behind us.
Everyone's eyes were focused on him, he looked calm and comfortable, and added a sentence unhurriedly: "She fell asleep halfway through the last time she saw it in the movie theater."
I:"… "
Very good, now everyone's eyes are instantly focused on me, except for Lin Yusen.
As if he hadn't said those two words at all, he paused for a while and continued to walk towards the elevator, explaining his work to the supervisor beside him as he walked, "Please communicate with the construction party, the drainage system plan should be Re-edited…”
If it weren't for the wandering expressions of the executives, I would almost suspect that the two sentences just now were just my hallucinations.
The group quickly left.
Leaving me and Xiao Duan to look at each other, Xiao Duan smiled awkwardly at the end: "Did you really fall asleep watching this movie?"
"yes."
As if... still leaning on his shoulder.
"Actually, I just wanted to ask if you've seen it or not. I want to see it with my girlfriend on Saturday."
"Actually, it's not bad. At least the first half is pretty good. I fell asleep because..."
Because the smell next to me is so reassuring...
After the prizes were collected, Xiao Duan ran back upstairs and asked someone to come down and move the things. I stayed to guard the things and then reviewed the records and made notes.
For a while, I was the only one left at the door of the office building.
After writing a note for a while, I stopped writing, stood there alone, thought about it, and laughed.
There was a sudden slap on the back.
As soon as I turned around, Yin Jie rushed towards me, "Ah, I've heard it all, Nie Xiguang, if you deny that Vice President Lin is chasing you, I'll break up with you!"
Just like Lin Yusen said, he chased me, not my burden, and there is no invisible person. Even if I haven't put it down now and can't accept it, there's no need to be so twitchy and dodgy.
I once pursued a person so bravely, why can't I be pursued by a person equally bravely
I let out a long sigh, as if suddenly letting go of the shackles that appeared in my heart at some point.
Yin Jie was still shaking my arm, forcing me to answer. I smiled at her, and in her expectant eyes, I seriously spit out two words—
"you guess?"