Next, I started to write to Huo Xiaofang. If it is said that the happiest thing I have lived for more than ten years is that I have a friend of Huo Xiaofang, who is actually a boy I like.
But I dare not say it, I know that many girls like him. Although I got good grades in the class, everyone looked down on me because my family was poor and I had no parents (in fact, I did, but I would rather not).
I know that this kind of me is humble in everyone's eyes, so my youthful heart is also humble. Since this is the case, put it in the bottom of my heart!
In fact, I wanted to tell him many times that I like him, but I dare not.
This time, I dared, because after finishing speaking, I will not meet him again. I don't want him to see me who is humble, dirty, cowardly, and hopeless now.
Say it to yourself, don't cry when you write, Xiaofang definitely doesn't want to see a girl who loves to cry.
But I couldn't do it. While writing a letter to the boy I like, tears dripped on every word in the letter.
The devil had only seen it in the limited books in the library before, but I encountered it in reality.
Shao Qin and Qin Li are the ugliest demons, they have never thought that they are so vicious. I don't know what they were thinking about when they hit me, when they assaulted me.
I just feel that the world is cold, without a trace of warmth. At that moment I wished I had the ability to resist, but it was obviously impossible for me to do so, I could only let tears flow.
When I learned that Brother Xiao Mao had killed them, I was not afraid at all.
I'm just sad, and I shouldn't have Brother Mao doing all this for me.
I have countless times I want them to disappear from this world because I am really afraid of being dragged into the bridge hole by them. Fear of shame like the devil.
Although I thought about it many times, after all, I didn't do it like this. Maybe I still have the only kindness in my heart, but more maybe I was just timid.
It doesn't matter which kind it is, they are already dead.
But my sense of shame, my painful memories, and my inner fears did not disappear with their deaths.
I didn't dare to look up when I was walking on the road. I felt that I was not wearing any clothes. I felt that everyone who saw me had a mocking smile on their faces.
Sometimes I raise my head and smile, but I think my smile must be weird and ridiculous.
I have been trying to save money. I originally saved money to buy hearing aids for my grandma. Now it seems that I have no time to realize this wish. I can only ask Xiaofang to donate my cornea after I leave... I don't want to help anyone, just want to change some money to grandma.
The day the police found me, they secretly hid sleeping pills in my underwear. I know they will definitely ask the teacher about my situation about Shao Qin, Qin Li, and Li Lihua, they will also find Xiaofang.
At that time they would see my letter, and then they would go to the restaurant to get the second letter, and I swallowed the prepared medicine three times at this time.
On the way to the hospital, I still felt a little bit because I wanted to see Xiaofang one last time. Even if I didn't say anything, as long as he appeared, I knew he was coming even without opening my eyes.
Finally I waited, the boy I like, I felt his hot tears drop on my hands. Tell yourself that you can leave with peace of mind, and his tears have warmed your hands, it is enough.
If there are ifs in this world, I don’t want to have another life;
If there are ifs in this world, I don’t want to be a human again;
If there is a if in this world, I don’t want to meet an ugly devil in my life; if there is a if in this world, I just want all corners of this world to be warmed by the sun;
If there are ifs in this world, I just want this world to be full of beauty and kindness.
Everything ends with me!
(End of this chapter)