Weather for Sunday, November 25: Cloudy
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For several days, I was forced by Yi Fan to beat around the bush and search for so-called gossip posts on the Internet for him. His secret gossiping emotions were perfectly vented through me.
My actions were finally noticed. The HR manager Lao Wu came to me personally and whispered to me: "Guan Xiaobei, you know the company's rules. So... no matter what, please pay attention to your words and deeds in the company."
I hurriedly expressed to Lao Wu that it was my fault that I had forgotten the company's regulations due to negligence. Thank you to the leader for reminding me that I must be careful not to make such mistakes and work hard until I die for AC!
Lao Wu nodded and left, but I broke out in a cold sweat.
The subtext of Lao Wu's words is almost obvious: Guan Xiaobei, I know you have problems with the president, but please don't go too far.
After waiting for three hours at the elevator entrance on the 23rd floor, I finally blocked Yi Fan. I pulled him into a corner and said, "I have attracted others' attention by surfing the Internet. I have been reminded today."
Yi Fan laughed loudly: "I also received the employee performance evaluation report submitted to the president today, and it also tactfully mentioned the problem of an employee violating regulations and surfing the Internet privately during working hours. You said, what if Lao Wu knew about this? What would he think if I instigated it?"
Yi Fan, do you know how terrifying your boredom is to me
I can only say: "I am still on probation, and the evaluation of me by the personnel manager will play a vital role in whether I stay or leave. So I beg you in person today not to let me make any unexpected moves. You After all, he is the president, but I am just a clerk.”
Yi Fan listened thoughtfully, and finally nodded: "Well, I understand, go ahead, I have my own sense of discretion in this matter."
After being anxious for a few days, I finally felt at peace and felt lucky that I knew the ropes of the workplace.
In the afternoon, the president held an impromptu meeting with grassroots employees, the basic content of which was nothing more than daily management issues. Finally, he stood on the stage and said lightly: "According to reports, some employees surf the Internet during working hours. Of course, according to the "Employee Code", this is a disciplinary violation that is strictly prohibited. But -" He paused for a moment, wondering. Was it my imagination? A sharp flash of light flashed towards me.
"In some cases, this behavior is understandable for the sake of work."
I suddenly felt depressed. If the president said these words at a staff meeting, it would put me in an obvious antagonistic position among the masses. Did this kid call the door crowded
Sure enough, when I went to the bathroom that afternoon, I heard the discussion outside the door:
"Hey, you know, Tim from the finance department was caught online by Lao Wu and was severely criticized. He also said that he would deduct this month's bonus."
"Ha, you deserve it! This kid usually doesn't know very well. Did the CEO tell us what he said? It was to give Guan Xiaobei the green light."
"Men, when you see a beautiful woman, you lose your IQ. Don't laugh, this was researched by German scientists."
"Beauty?! Sister, I have breasts and hips. Aren't I prettier than her?"
"Put it down. Nowadays, men like the kind of people who look at purity from the side, sexy from the left, virtuous from the right, and slutty from the right. Can you do that? You have to admit that Guan Xiaobei is quite immature on the surface, but she is really charming from a certain angle."
"As sexy as me? I'm 36D!"
"Come on, come on, you are big, you are a Big Mac, okay? No matter how big you are, you will scare people..."
Only after the two voices completely disappeared did I come out of the bathroom stall. And just now, in the magical space of the bathroom, I realized it!
After all, I am the biggest fool. As the president, how could Yi Fan not be aware of office politics? He used this euphemistic and perverted way to tell me that he, Yi Fan, firmly controls the direction of public opinion in the office. If I dare to disobey his orders, he can use others' words from thousands of miles away to tell me. Kill me invisible.
This was his naked revenge for my refusal to go on a blind date with him.
I took the initiative to send an email begging for mercy.
I said: Brother Lei, I worked hard and never complained, and I was invisible for nearly two months before everyone could accept me again. Don't bother me. You will make me unable to do well in my life. If you have any instructions, just mention them and I will definitely comply with them.
He only replied with two words: Brother Lei
I quickly replied: clerical error, clerical error.
He asked again: A clerical error? Do you have another master
"Master"... This word made me click my tongue for a long time. Finally, I replied in an extremely stupid manner: No matter how you dare, I will always be your most loyal follower.
Parents, please don't blame yourself. It's not that your many years of moral education have failed, nor is it that I'm so groveling and unjust for the sake of profit, but that I... I am really a person under the roof, so I have to bow my head.
Yi Fan replied immediately: Very good, wait for my call on the weekend.
On Saturday, while I was half asleep, Yi Fan dragged me to a cafe called "Hongzhuangluo".
"How's it going? Is the place nice? I found it with great difficulty. From now on, this will be my exclusive blind date spot!" Yi Fan said happily.
I looked around. A small coffee shop with beautiful decoration and elegant style, suitable for blind dates, but it is no different from other coffee shops. I don't know what makes Yi Fan excited.
"Yeah, pretty good." I said.
"Guan Xiaobei, you always say these three words when you are trying to deal with me. I know you don't understand. The special thing about this place is not the place, but the name! The name!"
Red makeup falling off... I muttered silently and looked at Yi Fan in confusion: "You want to see girls without makeup?"
Yi Fan showed an expression like "You're a peasant, you're uneducated": "Think about it, where did Pang Tong die in the Three Kingdoms? Luofengpo..."
"You want the girls to die?" I knew Yi Fan was twisted, but I didn't expect him to be so twisted.
Yi Fan was helpless. He said almost in a roaring voice: "Hongzhuangluo. Hongzhuang refers to women. Luo is the place where they are impressed by my charm and captured by me!"
"Them? How many do you want to kill?"
Yi Fan finally decided to ignore me. He visited the small cafe almost feverishly, found a seat, and then pointed to the small table next to him: "You, stay here."
"Ah? I still want to accompany you? Su asked me to go shopping."
"When can't you go shopping? When I'm done here, I'll drive you there."
I didn’t understand: “Why do you have to accompany me every time you go on a blind date, and why do you let me observe you so closely?”
Yi Fan thought for a while and then said slowly: "I actually want you to help see what I did wrong and summarize your experience for me."
I looked him up and down carefully and mercilessly, until he couldn't bear it anymore and said, "Speak up if you have something to say, don't look at me like that."
I said, "President, you are too modest. You did everything right, but you are so crazy about getting married."
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The doctor I want to meet today is a young, beautiful and talented female doctor from the best hospital in F City that I carefully selected for Yi Fan from many candidates.
The female doctor arrived on time at nine o'clock.
Yi Fan stood up diligently, pulled out the chair for the beautiful doctor like a gentleman, and called the waiter to order two cups of coffee.
While waiting for the coffee, the beautiful doctor said calmly and generously: "Excuse me, is this Yi Fan, Mr. Yi? I am Wang Ke. Let's talk on the phone."
"Yes." Yi Fan said, "Miss Wang is more beautiful than in the photo."
Wang Ke ignored Yi Fan's compliments, just nodded slightly, and then suddenly turned to me: "Then, Mr. Yi, who is this lady?"
I was horrified. Is my invisible light bulb also so bright
I quickly said: "I am Mr. Yi's secretary. I have an urgent document that needs his signature. I'm sorry to disturb you."
Wang Ke smiled noncommittally and said to Yi Fan: "Oh, I have seen people bring their parents, relatives and friends with them on blind dates, and I have also seen these people hide and watch from a distance or even pretend to be roadside vendors to peek, but they brought their secretary with them. Come, this is my first time seeing you.”
Yes, the intention of expelling guests is so obvious, and the words have reached this point, I am like a telegraph pole and have to move farther away.
So I quickly said: "Mr. Yi, you are busy first. I will handle the documents when you come back. Miss Wang, I'm sorry for disturbing you. I'll take a step first."
Wang Xiaoxiao: "Isn't it an urgent document?"
I didn't answer and left the two of them to go shopping with Su.
In the evening, with a responsible attitude towards work, I called the after-sales customer feedback phone number. I asked Yi Fan: "How are you today?" The posture of a matchmaker.
"Well, it's okay." Yi Fan said on the phone.
"Yi Fan, you always say these three words when you are trying to deal with me!"
I was just about to start ideological education for him when I heard him say: "However, I just made an appointment with her to see her tomorrow. You can accompany me tomorrow."
I work for ac for free, not to sell myself to you Yi Fan. I won’t let anyone take a day off on weekends!
Unexpectedly, Yi Fan said to me: "You have to go even if you don't want to go. I made an appointment with her because of you."
I smiled bitterly, Boss, are you solving the single problem for me? Am I waiting to hold a grandson? !
The next day, I came to the coffee shop reluctantly.
Yi Fan took me directly to the table where he sat yesterday and ordered me a cappuccino.
"Isn't this bad?" I said. Yesterday, the other tables were kicked away. Today, I sit directly at the same table... "Also, I don't drink coffee. I drink coffee and I can't sleep."
"Don't worry, just sit."
The beautiful doctor arrived on time.
Yi Fan stood up as diligently as ever, pulled out the chair for her like a gentleman, and called the waiter to order a cup of coffee.
Then Yi Fan said: "Ms. Wang, please tell me about your work."
The beautiful doctor took a sip of coffee, smiled gently at me, and said:
"Ah, when did you start talking about it? I was still in college at that time. You know that being a surgeon is very hard, and there is also discrimination against girls... "
"In order to suppress me, they asked me to do the dirtiest and most tiring work, such as rectal examinations and taking care of incontinent patients. When I went to one department at a time, a doctor divorced his wife and discriminated against all women. Others went to the operating room to help. , when I arrived, I was asked to prepare the skin of the surgical patient. Just go and go, I can still be afraid of this. In the end, I shaved the patient who had his penis clean, and it was cleaner than the pig's trotters we eat at home... "
"Well, that's not all, the excitement is yet to come. The doctor was twisted and thought it would be more fun to let beautiful women touch male genitals all the time. Hum, I let him have fun. So, every time he finishes the operation, I will do my duty. He dutifully went to his ward to care for the patients, but all the patients ended up in the uterus due to wound dehiscence."
The beautiful doctor was talking lively, but I silently peeked at Yi Fan from the corner of my eyes, only to find that he was listening with a calm face and was listening with great interest. Well, in this case, I can only sacrifice myself to accompany my boss.
"... The hottest thing now is obstetrics. The job is simple and you can earn a lot of money. Miss Guan has probably never given birth. Oh, actually giving birth is very simple. I don't know why those women are making such a fuss. The mother pushes in and waits until the birth canal It's about ten fingers wide, yes, wider than this coffee cup, so you can squeeze the baby out. Oh, if that doesn't work, just make an opening in the vulva. Just cut it with scissors and everything will be solved. C-section It’s even simpler, epidermis, fat layer, muscles, and then the uterus. Nowadays, many women take too much supplements during pregnancy, and the fat layer is so thick. Let’s compare it to pork belly, which has three layers.”
I subconsciously touched my belly.
"People always ask me if I'm afraid when dissecting corpses. Hum, actually I like dissecting corpses the most. Watching the corpses floating in the pool, catching them with hooks and putting them on the dissecting table, with the scalpel across them When it comes to skin...it's so wonderful.”
"Well, this is an illusion. Organs will deteriorate if they are soaked in formalin for a long time. Fine foam will appear at the beginning, and then the solution will gradually become turbid. That is the tissue decomposing. In the end, it will turn into a pot of coffee-colored porridge. It’s like a substance, that is, the organ is completely mixed with the liquid. Yes, it is the color of coffee... "
I looked at the cooled coffee on the table and secretly moved the cup further away.
…
Two hours later, we finally sent the beautiful doctor away.
Yi Fan looked at my face and said quietly: "Don't bear it anymore, the bathroom is over there."
I covered my mouth and ran out. As I ran, I turned around and saw Yi Fan picking up the coffee and taking a sip, then he walked quickly to the bathroom with a frown on his face.
Later, Yi Fan told me that the beautiful doctor actually hated blind dates, so she reluctantly agreed to meet him because she couldn't win over her parents.
"Is this how she expresses her opinion? She is actually a very nice person, so why don't she want to give each other a chance?"
After thinking about it, I added: "Then why did you ask her to meet her a second time? And you dragged me with you?!"
"Because you are not strict in censorship, this is your punishment!"
I'm indignant.
"Huh, I saw her twice." Yi Fanqing sighed with a smile on his face, "Twice."
After this experience, I made a list to seek Yi Fan’s opinions in advance.
Yi Fan pointed at Xiao Ben and said: "This one won't work. It looks too fierce and will not be conducive to family unity in the future. This one doesn't look very smart at first glance. Oh my, this breast is too small..."
I glared at him.
He didn't take it seriously and continued to find fault: "No education, insufficient education, bad temperament... Oh, Guan Xiaobei, why do you have such bad taste!"
I suddenly had an idea and asked: "Is the woman you are looking for about the same height as you, preferably half a head shorter than you? She should be slim, elegant, and... preferably like to tie her hair up?" "
Yi Fan was a little surprised: "Yes, yes. I think women like that are very sexy. Guan Xiaobei, that's good. You know how to do your homework in advance and understand the psychology of your boss."
I was silent, remembering Su's other shocking remarks about the theory about "cake".
She said: In fact, even if he finds others, he will eventually find various reasons to give up. Because that's not what he wants.
I asked: So, until he finds the original one, he will keep looking and giving up
Su said: Yes. Because none of them are as beautiful as the first one in his heart.
I said: Oh my God, what kind of world is this? Doesn’t it allow people to live? !
I finally understood that what cannot be mentioned about Yi Fan is not his roar on the first day they met, but... the woman who firmly occupied his life and made him deliberately forget but could not forget her at all.
The woman who leaned against the car and was wrapped in his arms, making him fight for her and go crazy for her.
The woman who was unforgettable to him.
Yi Fan, who is that woman