Weather on Thursday, January 3: cloudy to sunny
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On the first day of the new year, I woke up in a weird space at a weird time and in a weird posture.
I felt something magical resting under my head. I shook it slightly and then reached out to touch it. After touching it for a while, the thing opened its mouth and spoke: "Guan Xiaobei, as a normal man... If you continue to touch it, something will easily happen."
I sat up quickly. Because I was dizzy, my head rested on the back of the front seat again: "I just wanted to check if you were drooling in the middle of the night. Hehe, it's okay, it's okay." Only then did I realize that I was sleeping on Yi's bed last night. Fan's legs were covered with Yi Fan's coat and he fell asleep in the back seat of Yi Fan's car.
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Yi Fan was only wearing a white shirt, leaning against the car door and supporting his head with his hands: "Did you sleep well?"
"It's okay, just dizzy. I had some random dreams." I pinched my forehead, "By the way, why don't you send me up?"
"Can you find your key?"
I looked up and down and remembered that my wallet, keys and other personal belongings were all left in Peter's car: "Then there's no need to spend the night in the car."
"As a morally responsible man, I think it's better to be responsible for some things." Yi Fan said slowly.
"What did you do to me?!" I was horrified. Could it be that the phone is gone and so is the chastity
The veins on Yi Fan's forehead twitched: "What are you thinking about! It's not what happened to me, but what happened to you!"
"I... I became immoral after drinking again?" I was depressed. When will my memory loss after drinking get better
"Look!" Yi Fan pointed out the window like a magic trick.
I just glanced at it and it was messy.
"Ah, how could this happen?!" I got out of the car and rushed to a royal blue Mercedes-Benz parked on the side of the road and started to freak out.
The windshield of the car in front of her was completely shattered by an external force. Alice's trophy, which was the murder weapon, was lying innocently and quietly on the driver's seat. If it weren't for the fear of increasing the damage to the car, I think I would have crashed directly into it.
"How is that possible! Why can a crystal trophy break the glass? What kind of broken quality is this glass?"
"Hey, this is an authentic crystal. Besides, someone was in a violent state at the time, and his combat value must be full." Yi Fan commented lightly.
Yi Fan's words reminded me. I simply arranged and combined the events of last night that were still in my memory. I felt that I should not be the initiator of the incident: "Why are you looking like a spectator? It's not because of you! You He got me drunk in various ways, and then all these bad things happened. You still have the nerve to talk about moral responsibility, don't you feel guilty!"
"Guilt is a very illusory thing." Yi Fan still looked like he was watching the fun, "If my sense of morality wasn't so strong, this thing would be completely worthless. Look at me now..."
"Well," I nodded, "it does look wicked."
"I've been waiting for the owner of the car to show up. I was thinking, would it be better to watch them arrest you and send you away, or tie you up and keep you private?"
"The master won't show up for the time being." I announced sadly, "but when he does, I will die miserably."
"oh?"
"Yi Fan, I beg you, please help tow this car to the garage, restore it to its original condition, and then send it back without anyone noticing. Please, I can do anything you ask me to do."
Yi Fan clapped his fingers and said calculatingly: "Guan Xiaobei, you yelled at me last night."
"I was wrong, I will change it, I will change it, I will definitely change it!"
"You threw my clothes on the floor."
"I'll help you wash it, I'll help you wash it. Even if you ask me to run around naked in a sack, I will never take it off."
"Guan Xiaobei, let you wear high heels from now on..."
"I'll wear it, I'll wear it, I'll wear it! Even if I don't have any legs, I'll still wear it!"
"sausage… "
I was stunned for a moment. The word Yi Fan was incomprehensible, but out of inertia, I still said in an awkward manner: "If you like it, I can just turn into a sausage."
"Don't get me wrong, I don't like sausages."
I breathed a sigh of relief.
"I just really enjoy watching you do the sausage dance on the street." He smiled sinisterly.
In my mind, I compared the terrifying future under Yi Fan's rule with the terrifying reality now. I weighed it, weighed it again, weighed it a third time... It was really hard to choose between being hacked to death with a sharp knife or slowly tortured to death. . Finally, after I bet my freedom for the rest of my life, I finally begged Yi Fan to help repair the car with money and effort.
After watching the tow truck tow away the convertible-like Mercedes-Benz, I carried the crystal trophy, smashed a hidden window on the first floor, and climbed in. It is really a must-have item for breaking doors and locks when traveling at home.
I weighed the crystal trophy in my hand: "Yi Fan, aren't you worried that under your pressure, I will impulsively blow your head with it?"
Yi Fan smiled and compared: "You are not as tall as me when you stand, and you wear high heels... You are not as tall as me, and you have sprained feet. So you have no fighting ability at all."
I threw the trophy and muttered: What is the reason why you are so paranoid about high heels
After I washed and cleaned up, I found that Yi Fan... happily got into the kitchen to make breakfast!
I was leaning against the door and watching him as if he was at home, skillfully frying eggs, hot milk, making coffee and toasting bread, and suddenly said: "Yi Fan, do you know that Elle likes you very much? I mean I like you very much." kind."
"Love it, right?" Yi Fan said sharply.
I was stunned and yelled: "Since you know that you are still tormenting me to find someone to help you go on a blind date, why don't you take the first step to gain advantage? One is willing to fight and the other is willing to suffer consensual consequences. A talented man, a handsome woman, a good-looking man, a strong fire, a cooked rice, everything is natural for you. Why wait until she gets so horny that she can’t stop loving her and then explodes, causing tension among employees and an imbalance in the relationship between superiors and subordinates, which ultimately leads to me being a useless person inside and out and being thankless?!”
"Are you done?" Yi Fan glared at me, "You yelled at me again, you didn't get breakfast!"
I endured it, but then I thought that since breakfast was gone anyway, Yi Fan would not let me spit out my dinner, so I yelled again: "Yi Fan, have you ever realized that you are actually a person with negative emotional intelligence and a twisted mind?" ?Also, why don’t you let me eat my food?”
Yi Fan said: "I did it. Have you figured out which is the spoon and which is the shovel by now?"
I glanced at the kitchen utensils piled aside that were almost burned to liquid and then solidified again, and closed my mouth.
"Guan Xiaobei," Yi Fan picked up the frying spoon and flipped the egg gracefully in the air, "Have you ever discovered that you actually like to do everything for yourself?"
I thought for a while and said, "No?"
"What does the conflict between Elle and Alice have to do with you? You just got involved and made it difficult for you to sleep and eat, and your conscience is disturbed? It seems that you have done something hugely wrong? Judging from your reaction at the time... If you didn't know that you couldn't do this This kind of thing, I almost thought you pushed Elle down and then your conscience found out, so you cried bitterly at the scene of the incident."
"I..." I was speechless for a moment, but what Yi Fan said seemed to make some sense, "But, Elle thought I overheard her behind her back and told Alice, so she lost control."
"Did you tell the truth?"
"of course not."
"Then you are just looking for trouble." Yi Fan concluded.
I thought hard and tried to refute Yi Fan, but if I won this debate, I would come to the conclusion that "it was me who snitched and murdered Elle", which is contradictory to reality. So the result of my thinking is: I'm crazy, I'm brain-dead... I'm so hungry!
"At first I thought my ideas and actions were quite noble, but when you tell me, I'm just a 250-year-old." I was depressed.
Yi Fan made a "This conclusion is correct" expression, put a bunch of things on the dining table, and started to eat happily.
"Is there really none for me?" I asked in surprise, watching him confine all the food to himself like some kind of animal.
"Food supplies the energy needed for the brain to think. If you are so poor at thinking, don't waste food."
I got up helplessly, went to the kitchen to pour myself a glass of milk, and sat across from Yi Fan, drinking it silently.
"Actually, their conflict has been going on for a long time, and it will break out one day. Instead of doing this, it's better to explode it artificially." Yi Fan said without raising his head as he was busy eating.
"Are you using me?" I placed the cup heavily on the table.
"Don't get excited, it's not that conspiratorial. It's just that you are very unlucky. Every time you run forward stupidly like a water rat used to clear mines, and you don't know where you are going to be blown up. Now I feel that the most The unlucky award was really wrong, and it should have been given to you. I originally planned to make you drunk and sing and dance "Hee Swah Swish" to make everyone laugh, but you ended up causing so much trouble. Really. I’m impressed with you.”
"Then you saw me drunk and you didn't stop me!"
"You went to the women's restroom!"
"Then... feelings, you mean this is my fault and I should go to the men's room to vomit?"
"Given the circumstances you were in, going to the men's room was completely excusable."
"Yi Fan, when will you admit your mistake in this incident?"
“The first article of the CEO’s Code of Conduct is: As a president, you will never make mistakes. If you make mistakes, they are also the fault of your subordinates.”
"Then you say this is my fault?"
"Guan Xiaobei, do you think I really have to smash your head open with that trophy and reinstall it again? I've been saying this for a long time just to tell you: No one is wrong in this matter! Don't bother yourself!"
I used the little energy left in my body to think for a while: "Yi Fan, can I understand your behavior as - you are trying your best to comfort me and let me put down the burden of my thoughts and stop blaming myself for this matter? Oops. , if that’s the case, can’t you be gentler?”
"At first I wanted to comfort you very gently and kindly, but then I found out that you were so stupid that you couldn't even think about this, so you let yourself sit there in the cold for three hours, and made me have to accompany you in the car. When we spent the night, I was so depressed that I wanted to strangle you to death.”
My mood suddenly became very bright and joyful. Sure enough, the new year is about a new atmosphere.
After a while, Yi Fan said, "Please help me meet Alice, talk to her, and return the trophy to her."
"Actually, I'm not very familiar with her, so you better go ahead."
"What should I tell her? Talk about feelings? Reminisce about the past and look forward to the future with her, and condemn Elle together? Am I no longer the street aunt?"
"Oh, what are you doing?"
"I went to the hospital to see Elle. Talk to her about her feelings, so that she could untie her knot and be able to forget the past and start over."
When you talk to Alice, you are an aunt, but when you talk to elle, you are not an aunt? Yi Fan's logic completely confused me. I felt that I needed more energy to think, so when he turned around, I swept away the food on the table, hid in the room, locked the door, and slowly solved the problem.
At noon, I made an appointment to meet Alice at the coffee shop, and she returned to her usual smart and capable self.
I took out the trophy and handed it back to her: "Well... I broke it yesterday. There is a corner missing. I asked Yi Fan... Mr. Yi to find someone to make a new one."
Alice took the trophy and rubbed a stain on it, which was the blood stain on it yesterday: "Don't bother, it's actually better this way. Just like my experience along the way, through blood and tears, it is incomplete."
I don't know how to comfort her. This kind of vicissitudes of life that is honed by time and experience is not something I can understand, so any words of comfort will sound pale and childish. I just drank my coffee quietly.
"I don't know why Elle thinks I'm competing with her for the president." Alice suddenly laughed softly, "I was able to rise from the lowest level all the way up, relying only on reality but definitely not fantasy. President... Haha, this is something I have never done before A fantasy I’ve thought about. How could she think… It’s ridiculous.”
After laughing, she said to me again: "Xiaobei, you must remember your dream and don't lose your most precious thing in the so-called struggle."
I nodded solemnly.
We didn't say goodbye to each other until very late that day.
Three days later, Alice submitted her resignation. And I arranged a date for Alice and Yi Fan. There was no romantic couple's package, just a simple business lunch. Like Alice, she was very knowledgeable and sophisticated. There is no other purpose. I just want to tell Alice that she has not lost anything and she still has the right to have any dreams at any time.
That night, Yi Fan called me and said: "I introduced Alice to another company, which can give her a better position and remuneration. Also, I matched her with a friend of mine , they will be interested in each other."
For the first time, I was happy with how his date turned out.
"And Elle, I transferred her to a subsidiary company of AC as a manager."
Yes, I think, Yi Fan, if you can't give her love, at least you can fulfill her career.
After a moment of silence, Yi Fan said softly: "Xiaobei, thank you. Thank you... for everything you have done."
I laughed quietly, thinking that this is life, ups and downs, but no matter the peaks or valleys, there will always be someone standing by your side and spending time with you.