Weather for Sunday, September 2: Breezy
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In the middle of the night, Yi Fan suddenly woke up from his sleep. He gasped and looked around the bedroom. The surroundings were as quiet as ever. However, out of a primitive instinct, he felt something was wrong, so he touched the golf club placed next to the stairs. Quietly walked downstairs.
Sure enough, a faint light came from under the crack of the door leading to the hall on the first floor.
Yi Fan gently opened the door, held the club in his hand, and kicked the door open.
Chen Xiang sat upright on the sofa, under the dim light, with a serious and ferocious expression. When Liao Cai heard the movement here, she ran over with a "woo" and hid in the darkness behind Yi Fan, trembling.
Yi Fan glanced at the clock on the wall: "Three thirty-three in the morning! You'd better tell me that this is a dream!"
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Yes, Chen Xiang is the nightmare that Yi Fan can't get rid of in his life.
When Yi Fan first arrived abroad, the first person he met was Chen Xiang from next door. Yi Fan expressed his goodwill to him with the excitement of "meeting an old friend at the end of the world". The little fat man smiled generously and warmly, patted Yi Fan's shoulder and said, "As long as I protect you, no one will dare to bully you in the future!" As he spoke, he deliberately exposed his face. Black pattern tattooed on arm. The bold movements, strong figure and powerful tattoos immediately made Yi Fan excited, and he was speechless with an expression of "fellows meet fellows". Yi Fan was so shallow after all that he didn't realize that the meaning in the eyes of this little fat man with a hypocritical and evil smile was actually: What a white and tender little sheep, waiting for me to catch it, peel it off and make it into a whole sheep feast!
With Fatty around, no one really bothered Yi Fan, because Fatty himself bullied him all the time. Watching Yi Fan running wildly and being chased for more than ten blocks by Chen Xiang on his bicycle, the adults sighed and tightened their grip on their children. Half of them felt pity for Yi Fan's misfortune, and half of them were grateful to have such an unlucky guy. The children still don’t know how much injustice they will suffer.
Occasionally, Yi Fan would come to Lan Siyang to complain. When Lan Siyang was in a good mood, he would teach Fatty a lesson for Yi Fan, but more often than not, he would team up with Fatty to bully him.
A few years later, Yi Fan suddenly realized that a man must rely on his strength to speak, and he could no longer indulge the fat man like this. When he blocked Chen Xiang's door with a baseball bat, ready to avenge his shame, he was told that Chen Xiang's family Moved without a trace.
Yi Fan felt unhappy because he had not avenged his revenge, but thought that he would no longer need to see Fatty in the future, which made Yi Fan very happy. But he didn't expect that this was just a pause before the climax of the nightmare.
A few years later, Yi Fan threw his backpack on the bed and looked up at the double-room university dormitory. A broad-backed figure wearing a tank top and beach shorts sat at the desk, ignoring his arrival.
Mickey Mouse... strange, why did you think that tattoo was so arrogant back then? Yi Fan looked at the pattern on the man's fat arm that was almost stretched horizontally and thought, and then he thought, who would tattoo a Mickey Mouse on his arm? Could it be... Yi Fan stepped forward and pulled the man's face, and sure enough, fate This boring wheel goes round and round and returns to its starting point.
Chen Xiang smiled innocently again, while Yi Fan looked tragic.
After several years in college, Yi Fan fully understood the fat man's lack of professionalism. As a student of astrophysics, he only had a small telescope that looked like a tourist souvenir. Always use threats. And his biggest hobby is to open all kinds of "doors". From government agencies to major banks, wherever a large number of password firewalls are connected to the Internet, Chen Xiang goes to visit. There is no purpose, just to leave a message. The Mickey Mouse logo proves that you are here.
Once, the fat man turned over Yi Fan's computer and exclaimed: "You and Lan Siyang? No, this is incest, incest!"
Yi Fan was angry: "We are not related by blood!"
The fat man held his huge head in shock and said: "Mr. Sigmund said that fantasies about women having a relationship similar to that of family members are all incest. Mental incest is worse than actual incest."
"You who have never seen a living woman in your life, don't talk to me about psychoanalysis."
"The main reason is that you two don't match each other. It's like the Eiffel Tower and the Leaning Tower of Pisa. They are both towers, but they have nothing in common. The Leaning Tower has to stand with the Pisa Cathedral..."
Yi Fan didn't want to talk nonsense to him and shouted: "Don't read my diary casually in the future!"
After all, age is not in vain. The fat man nodded and vowed that he could no longer deceive Yi Fan. From then on, all his cabinets had a classic and domineering copper lock. What he didn't expect was that a few locks could actually lead this man who was obsessed with the Internet all day long to the reality. Soon, the fat man's skills in opening doors and picking locks were as good as breaking through firewalls.
After completing his studies, Yi Fan quickly returned to China for many reasons, and escaping from Chen Xiang was one of the most important factors.
After settling in F City, Yi Fan was excited about his new life without Fatty. However, soon after he found that his door had been pried open without leaving a trace, he finally realized that the only way to get rid of Fatty was to launch himself into space. .
"Loneliness in the boudoir in the dead of night is the most likely way to trigger feelings of youthfulness. I have been asked to take care of your personal problems." The fat man said with a serious expression, patting a big box next to him.
"Savage Girlfriend Inflatable Doll - Leading the new fashion of 'Savage Life'." Yi Fan moved his lips to read the words on the box, then smiled sarcastically, "Have your personal problems been solved?"
"Thinking about customers is always my first creed. If the customers' personal problems are not solved, my personal problems will not be solved either!"
"Don't make excuses to avoid marriage."
"As someone who has been there, I will give you some pointers so that you can pass away quickly." Seeing Yi Fan's eyes about to explode, the fat man hurriedly opened his fingers like little carrots and said, "One, just accept my gift and calm down for the time being. Physical agitation. The second thing is that you go on a blind date and solve all the physical agitation once and for all... "
Yi Fan, who had been holding back for a long time, finally burst out: "Fat man, what are you doing out of nowhere in the middle of the night!"
"Actually, Lan Siyang is afraid that you will make a big fuss about her wedding."
Yi Fan's eyes flickered for a moment and then dimmed: "Am I such a senseless person? I hope she is happy, but I just can't let go."
"So, you should forget about her and find a woman to start a new life quickly. Let me introduce to you the characteristics of this doll. Oh my, many people feel that marriage is useless when they have it."
"Go away, I haven't fallen to this level yet." Yi Fan couldn't laugh or cry, "Besides, there are so many women chasing me, as for blind dates."
"Then why are you still single? Why don't you strike first?"
Yi Fan thought of those women with beautiful makeup and elegant manners in front of him, and always felt that there was something invisible behind that kind of beauty, just like Yi Fan, the little sheep back then, couldn't see through the fat man's evil smile.
"People around you don't like it? So you have to broaden your horizons." Chen Xiang, an "experienced person", easily saw through Yi Fan's thoughts, "I have some blind date websites here. You can check them out. If you don't go, I will take them. Keep this, just give the price to a friend. You can figure it out yourself."
Yi Fan reluctantly took the A4 printing paper with a string of URLs written on it, and then fell into deep thought, going on a blind date... Forgetting about Lan Siyang and starting a new life sounded quite attractive.
In this way, under Fatty's coercion and inducement late at night, he chose the latter between "doll" and "blind date".