Weather for Friday, August 22: Thundershowers
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Once upon a time, I thought that Yi Fan was too good and inadvertently gave himself the temperament of "one who can be watched from a distance but not played with", which made him stay single and eventually transformed into a dating maniac. But not long after we got together, I discovered that this was completely an illusion. The fact that I became Yi Fan's girlfriend seemed to give those women who were watching eagerly and quietly to see what would happen, the best excuse to act. This is like a peach on a tree. If you don't pick it, it will be a problem. Once a monkey goes up the tree and picks the peach, all the monkeys will find that the peach is not only non-toxic but also very delicious, and finally they will flock to the tree.
That kind of creature called a woman that likes to poach people flourished in the dark corners around Yi Fan like mushrooms after the rain. Therefore, Yi Fan wanted to "say goodbye" to his confidante on 135, and "make it clear" to the pink beauty on 246.
I complained helplessly: "Khan, it turns out you have so many women, and you still bothered me to go on a blind date with you?!"
Yi Fan said leisurely: "I don't care about this kind of backhandedness. But tossing you is indeed more interesting."
His words made me decide to adopt a method called fighting fire with fire, so I said leisurely: "That's fine. I don't have to feel guilty when I go out to raise a pretty boy or something."
Yi Fan's eyes widened angrily when he heard this: "How dare you, please stay at home from today on and you are not allowed to go out."
I jumped up and said, "If you rebel against me, you dare to interfere in my affairs! Believe it or not, I will kill your woman!"
Yi Fan glared at me angrily: "My wife is a pig. Kill her and give me a piece of meat. I want it cut and dried."
However, a few days later, when I saw the photo that dominated the entertainment page, I could no longer calm down.
Yi Fan was neatly dressed, holding the wine glass in his hand and turning sideways. The woman beside him, in her long skirt, was resting on Yi Fan's hand holding the wine glass, and her bright lips were caressing the side of Yi Fan's ear. In the dim background, there is an ambiguous atmosphere called "there is adultery here" everywhere.
The photo is very clear. You don’t need to read the gimmicky article below to know that the woman is a movie star who is very good at unspoken rules and unspoken rules in the industry. She is a famous topic queen, and Yi Fan has been honored to be named after the Lin Qi incident. playboy. The date between the two was crashed, like a spark hitting the earth. Shocked by the huge and gorgeous mushroom cloud, the entertainment reporters were so excited that they almost lost control collectively.
No wonder Yi Fan's eyes were evasive last night and he hesitated to speak, and no wonder he was so nervous this morning that he sneaked out before five o'clock under the pretext of a company meeting. I suddenly became angry, grabbed the newspaper and went straight to the AC to prepare to go to court with Yi Fan.
... Of course, halfway through, I felt that it was better to resolve the matter privately, so I turned around and went back to my parents' house.
Su had no patients. She was sitting at her desk sharpening a small pencil with a knife.
"I can smell the resentful woman's scent on you from two miles away," she said.
"This is the smell of a passerby. I feel like I have a strong passerby temperament all over me. Reporters have written so much, but no one thought of gossiping about the poor, innocent first wife who was kept in the dark."
"You two are not married, so you are not considered the first wife."
"Before I got married, I felt like I was already running towards the ranks of resentful wives at a speed of eighty miles." I lamented.
"One day or eighty miles an hour? If it's the former, it's not too bad. This is why I only fall in love and don't get married. Although my life before and after marriage may not necessarily change substantially, these mediocre emotions are. The most magical catalyst that can quickly transform a woman into a resentful woman."
Su's words were like adding fuel to the fire to me who was in the manic stage.
"Is it just a bother? Do I have to catch someone in bed for it to be considered a bother?"
Su always had the ability not to let others disturb her emotions. She just handed over a piece of paper with densely packed formulas on it.
"What is this? Your high math test paper?"
Su glanced at me dissatisfied: "Of course not. This is my new business, called 'prepayment and installment payment methods for treatment fees.' For those patients who are destined to need treatment, the earlier they pay, the more discounts they can enjoy. "
She explained carefully: "I plan to promote this payment method among those women who are rich and free and only worry about men cheating every day. As the first customer of this method, I can give you a discount on a preferential basis." I’ll give you another 20% off.”
I am very dissatisfied with her TV shopping channel host-like attitude.
"As my cousin who loves each other, shouldn't you rise up and join me in attacking Yi Fan, this unfaithful person?"
"As a human being, when you encounter trouble, you always want to solve the problem without paying the price. Don't you feel condemned in your heart?" Su asked.
The prerequisite for Iron Rooster to be able to pluck someone's hair is to first let her pluck all the other person's hair and make it into a plump feather duster. Arguing with Su when you are depressed will only make you more depressed.
When I quietly reflected on my mistakes of trusting Yi Fan too much and placing too high hopes on Su, Su suddenly asked: "I remember you have a potted agarwood tree at home?"
"What?" I was stunned.
"I recently planned to renovate this house, and I found a Feng Shui master who said I needed an agarwood tree to enhance the Feng Shui."
From getting to know her over the years, I know that redecorating and feng shui are all nonsense and are just a sign that the iron abacus is starting to calculate.
"Yi Fan spent a lot of money to buy that tree, and he has kept it for almost ten years. It cannot be given away. If you need it, can I buy another one for you?" I asked.
"It's already this time, and you're still thinking about him. No wonder you're turning into a resentful woman. Sister, I want to give you this "Sunflower Book" - of course, it's also called "One Hundred and Eight Tips to Subdue Your Man" - You, but since you can’t let go of the child, don’t even think about trapping the wolf.”
Su stood by the table, shaking a pamphlet in his hand, with a face that was half contempt, half temptation, and a sinister smile.
I looked up at her, and because her back was to the window, the shadow cast on her face did not dampen her vivid expression at all.
Damn, it's so tempting.
For a moment, I succumbed to my fate. Compared with being a tacky woman who controls her man from beginning to end, I don’t want to be an abandoned wife who complains all day long.
After only flipping through a few pages, I became addicted to it and couldn't extricate myself. After reading the whole book, I suddenly felt refreshed and refreshed, and the self-pity I once felt was so small and humble.
I slapped my thigh and said, "Su, you can dig up as many trees as you like in my yard, and you can dig up my house!"
Su smiled proudly: "That's right, all my things are worth the money. Some feminists wanted to pay a lot of money for the copyright of this book. Of course, I refused for the sake of social harmony."
I went home in a happy mood, made dinner and waited for Yi Fan. Yi Fan came back very early, but his eyes were still evasive when he looked at me.
At the dinner table, I felt Yi Fan staring at me. When I looked up, I found that he was nervously picking up the rice with his head lowered. I lowered my head and took two bites and felt his gaze again. When I raised my head, he started to drink the soup again. After a dozen times of peek-a-boo looks like this, I finally couldn't help it anymore and asked, "Yi Fan, do you have something to say?"
Yi Fan felt shy for a moment and whispered: "Xiaobei, I think... you are not nervous about me at all."
The bad guys complain first! Judging from the look on his face before, I thought he was confessing because of guilt.
But I was in a really good mood, so I put a piece of meat into his bowl and said, "I'm nervous, very nervous. If you go out and roar again, get thunderous, or run around naked, I'll be very nervous."
"Not this, I mean real nervousness."
"Oh, you are nervous too, very nervous. If you haven't eaten, are too tired from work, and are freezing, I will be very nervous."
Yi Fan seemed a little moved. After thinking about it, he said in a lonely tone: "... It's not this kind of nervousness. Eat, work, and take care of my life. Many women will do such things for me."
"Are there so many different types of stress? I thought stress was a sudden increase in adrenaline secretion, uncontrollable breathing and rapid heartbeat."
"I mean, a lot of women are worried about their husbands cheating on them or having other women outside."
"Ah, you're talking about this useless, jealous, resentful woman mentality."
I got over it successfully and completely today!
"You're nervous because you care. But you never seem to worry about my relationship with other women. Xiaobei, sometimes I always wonder, do you not love me, that's why you don't care about anything?"
I didn't answer his words, but asked instead: "Did you notice that your favorite agarwood tree in the living room is gone?"
"You... cut it to vent your anger?" Yi Fan guessed.
"No, I exchanged it for Su Yi's marriage counseling. She made me realize that I have property, knowledge, beauty, and temperament. I can still live without you. Why are you so resentful? Life is hard. Short, why bother looking for trouble?"
"So, you still don't love me. I just exchanged money for your tenderness and thoughtfulness." Yi Fan pushed the chair away with a gloomy look and planned to leave.
I felt that I was overplaying my hand, so I reached out and hugged him from behind, pressed against his warm and broad back, and said softly: "Of course not. Yi Fan, you also know how outstanding you are..."
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He stood there stiffly and let me hold him: "So, you are still like other women, you just fell in love with my shining appearance and didn't care about my rotten heart. Therefore, you are not good at all." Ask about that photo.”
Damn it, do rich people like to play the boring game of "Do you love me or do you love my money?" Why did it make me so passive in the end when it was clearly his fault
"I believe you." I said.
"Hmph, don't have so much confidence in me. I'm a man, a handsome, rich and normal man! I'll cheat on you, and I'll be incompetent in my feelings!"
I walked around to the front and kissed his lips gently: "It's not that I have confidence in you. When I first saw that photo, I also wanted to reason with you and go to that woman desperately."
Yi Fan awkwardly avoided my kiss and turned his head to one side.
I put my arms around his neck, stood on tiptoes and said in his ear: "Later, I felt that this resentful woman's style of crying, making trouble, and hanging herself was too vulgar, so I asked Su for advice at the cost of a tree. . As a result, Su generously and knowingly told me many ways to psychologically and physically attack a man into becoming ED without using violence. She also told me the story of someone who suffered this cruel attack. The end of a man. It’s really tragic. It’s said that if you take the little blue pill for food, you can’t even think about being a man again. Cheating? Huh, take the initiative to be a little eunuch, maybe it will be more enjoyable.”
"Oh, I forgot to mention it. Because I built another basin of sandalwood, Su gave me that book. It was placed in the third compartment of the second row of the bookshelf. The name is "The Sunflower Book". It is not a teaching book. The man’s peerless martial arts gave the Dongfang Bubai palace’s knife to the woman. Hehe, hehe.”
Yi Fan's smart mind thought for a long time before he finally understood: "You mean you used my tree to get a dozen... ways to castrate me from Su?"
"It's not a dozen, it's a hundred and eight moves." I said proudly, "This deal is so worth it. Su made me realize that with that booklet, cheating on men is the best solution in the world. Problem."
Yi Fan hugged me and said, "Let's move to a world without Su."
"It's too late. I've already memorized that book. So don't try to destroy the body and eliminate the traces. In view of the mistakes you have made recently and to prove that I care about you, you will have to cook for me for the next year. , you have to wash the dishes, no complaints!"
Yi Fan put on an apron in despair and went to wash the dishes.
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Today, the elegant CEO, this aggressive and self-righteous old man, warned me: "...it is not easy to keep a man by your side."
"Do you think that beauty is fleeting, so the relationship between Yi Fan and I will not last long? Do you think that I am superficial or that Yi Fan is superficial?" I stood aside and laughed quietly, "We are together not because of his power or Because of how I look, we just love each other.”
The old man was about to refute again, but I intercepted him before he spoke: "Of course, I am not naive enough to place all my hopes on this. Love is sometimes too unpredictable. But I know a very good psychologist, she He taught me many ways to turn a man into an ED both physically and mentally. Humph, the effect... It’s true that healing is ineffective and there is no way to cheat."
"If there is someone in need around Mr. Han..." I paused deliberately, "I will not hide it, and I will definitely give it to you."
I was happy to see the veins on his forehead twitching, and he walked out with a pile of information.
Hum hum, very good. I will definitely meet the CEO’s wife when I have time someday.