A lot of things are easy to think about, but hard to say. Because there are always expectations. Tang Yi had a long-standing relationship with Lin Rui, so long that he almost had a physical disgust with the name, and when he mentioned him, he felt irritated.
At first, he was afraid that he was narrow-minded, so he chose to forbear in anger. However, he is not destined to be someone who can really endure it. The knot in his heart is getting tighter and tighter, and all kinds of grudges and grievances are buried in it, until he can't bear it any longer, and finally it explodes.
It's not that he didn't discuss this issue with Gu Yanting. The first quarrel between the two was for Lin Rui. Before breaking up, Tang Yi also asked Gu Yanting's attitude many times. On the night Lin Rui had just returned and the night Lin Rui had an accident, Gu Yanting's performance failed to give him the slightest hope.
Even though Gu Yanting later said that he took Lin Rui as a friend as a classmate and a benefactor, and even for the sake of Tang Yi, he could have less contact, but Tang Yi no longer believed it. He felt that it was just Gu Yanting's plan to delay the army. If he could put Lin Rui aside for himself , why should the two go to the situation of breaking up.
But after breaking up, it was difficult for him to truly let go. He and Gu Yanting were very young when they met. In the years that followed, they lived together, renting a house, seeking a job, going to a restaurant, and then buying a house to repay the loan. With a burden on their shoulders, they had ambitions and desires in their hearts. For the first time in Tang Yi's life, someone was with him for a long time. The two felt like living together, and the place they were in finally became a home.
If possible, he doesn't want to say hate.
The waiter served the appetizers graciously, and the foie gras and scallops were beautifully placed in the center of the table. After Tang Yi said this, his expression gradually calmed down, but he still couldn't get his appetite in the face of this expensive thing, so he leaned on the back of the sofa and turned his head to avoid Gu Yanting's sight.
Gu Yanting was silent the whole time. He had been looking forward to this conversation for a long time. He knew that Tang Yi had a pimple in his heart, but he never knew how deep the pimple was.
He didn't speak for a while, his face flushed after a cold, but his tone was low and firm, "What distance do you and I keep with Lin Rui? What attitude, even more detailed, what can be done, what can't be done, what words can be said, what words can't be said, when can we meet, when can we not meet..."
"These can be decided by you, and I will follow them."
He underestimated how much Tang Yi cared about these things at first, but now he thinks that whether he sends Lin Rui home in front of Tang Yi or asks Lin Rui to borrow it, it undoubtedly deepens Tang Yi's frustration with him It's cold.
He paused and said, "He is indeed special to me. I was slightly autistic when I was in high school. When I had a car accident, I was pessimistic and world-weary because of the rejection of my classmates. He saved me at that time. He unintentionally opened my heart... Before I met you, it was almost a habit for me to be nice to him. I didn't think about whether it was right or not, and I didn't think about whether it would hurt you later. I was wrong."
"But, Tang Yi, if you really can't accept it, I can change all of these. You can decide how far I can do it, and I will definitely not cross the line. But... you can't just push me away if you push me away, repeatedly. No chance for correction."
Gu Yanting hadn't said such a long word for a long time, but this time, his chest finally smoothed out in one breath.
Tang Yi looked at him for a while and then slowly turned his eyes away. He understood Gu Yanting's meaning, and it even sounded reasonable, but now his heart is very confused. It was an impulsive act to ask Gu Yanting out today. He was choked up by Shen Fan's evaluation of "neither and not forgiving", and he was eager to get rid of all those who were related to Lin Rui. Gu Yanting was the first to bear the brunt.
But he wasn't prepared for such a conversation, and now he's starting to regret it.
Tang Yi unconsciously stirred the soup in front of him, he didn't know how to answer, he shook his head for a while, "It's unnecessary."
Gu Yanting: "...why is it unnecessary?"
"The days to come are too long, and no one can guarantee anything. If you don't see it, it doesn't mean that you don't want to see it. Now you make compromises for me, and maybe one day you will regret it and go to him."
"...But he and I have never had anything." Gu Yanting took a deep breath and was speechless, "My mistake was that I didn't grasp the scale. I was good to him, but this is not a mistake of principle!"
At the end of his words, his emotions were slightly agitated, and his voice became two points louder.
There were other diners who were eating next to him and turned their heads slightly. Tang Yi frowned and lowered his voice to remind him, "Keep your voice down."
This is one of the most high-end western restaurants in T city, and Tang Yi faintly regretted setting the meeting place here. After all, most of the people who come to eat are talking in low voices and pay great attention to etiquette. Gu Yanting's voice just fell, and at least four or five people from the table have calmly looked over.
Gu Yanting glanced at him, and suddenly sneered, "...No."
Tang Yi: "..."
"If you want to talk today, let's make it clear. If it's not convenient to talk here, we'll change places. Two years ago, you patted my butt and left. After two years, you can't make me feel so aggrieved, Tang Yi, Death row prisoners also have the right to speak in defense, just for the sake of you who just kicked me out of the house today with a cold and a fever, you can't be so cruel to let me suffocate here."
Tang Yi couldn't, even if he wasn't thinking about it, he would be thinking about the waiter who was obviously embarrassed and worried not far away.
Gu Yanting saw that his expression was a little loose, so he quickly invited the waiter to settle the bill first. When signing the bill, he glanced at Tang Yi, who was obviously absent and rubbing his brows. He paused and said, "There is a square not far ahead, just go somewhere."
At the end of November, the city of T was already exhaling with the smell of ice balls. Tang Yi was wearing only a suit at the restaurant where Tang Yi went directly from the company. Gu Yanting pulled him when he went out, took off his jacket and put it on him.
When Tang Yi reacted, Gu Yanting had already strode forward, his shadow was stretched out by the street lights, Tang Yi irritably wiped his face, and simply stepped on the stretched slender head superior. Then he picked up the pace.
The small square is not far from here. It is said that the square is actually a small open park, with an open space in front and a small hill behind. When the weather is warm, nearby citizens will dance here, and the best thing to see is a male teacher teaching tango. It's just that it's so cold right now, and there's not a single person in the square. After Gu Yanting arrived at the place, he kept walking, and he walked to the top of the slope three or two before stopping and turning to look at him.
Tang Yi hesitated for a moment and followed.
The top of the slope is not high, and there is no scenery looking down, only a few trees are squeaking with the wind. Tang Yi was about to take off his coat, but Gu Yanting grabbed his hand just as he raised his hand.
Gu Yanting's eyes were surprisingly bright, Tang Yi raised his eyes to look at him, and heard him laugh coldly, "Tang Yi, I didn't finish talking in the restaurant just now, in fact, when it comes to reconciliation, I should have a lump in my heart, right? ."
Tang Yi paused for a moment, then looked up at him sharply, "What do you mean?"
"What do I mean? Don't you know?"
Gu Yanting let go of his hand, his attitude was almost different from the gentle appearance in the restaurant. He lowered his head and stared at Tang Yi's eyes. After a while, his eyes fell down and landed on the latter's lips. At the same time, he raised his hand and covered it with his thumb, rubbed it, and asked with a sneer, "Here... has he touched it?"
Tang Yi was stunned for a moment and suddenly reacted, and a feeling of anger turned into anger made his face hot. He didn't think that Gu Yanting deliberately called him out of the restaurant to say this. He threw his clothes off. When he pushed Gu Yanting away, the coat also fell to the ground.
Gu Yanting coughed twice when his hand was thrown away. He didn't bend down to pick it up, but smiled at Tang Yi's clenched fist.
"You said you mind Lin Rui, but you didn't think about it, did I mind you kissing me and hugging me in the past two years?!" Gu Yanting's voice was a bit gnashing, and his eyes were fixed on Tang Yi from beginning to end. He didn't let go, "Did you know that I almost died when you were having a spring dinner with other men! Christmas Eve was very lively, right? Huh? Do the new panties fit? You can't eat an apple on Christmas Eve to keep you safe?"
The evil fire in Tang Yi's heart slowly turned into doubt after hearing this, and he didn't react until the "underpants" later.
In the darkness, only the light from the small square passed through weakly, which vaguely outlined Gu Yanting's tense cheeks. The corners of his brows and eyes were full of anger, looking at Tang Yi's expression as if he was trying to suppress something.
Tang Yi was silent for a while, then suddenly asked, "Did you make that call?"
Gu Yanting's eyes flashed for a moment, in fact, it goes without saying that the two of them already knew it. Tang Yi didn't understand what he meant by "nearly hit to death". He wanted to ask a question at this moment, but then he felt that it was a lot of things - the two people who had already broken up wanted to break up further, and talk about those What's the point of something.
He sighed, and finally nodded slowly, "Since that's the case, shouldn't it be better to stay away. Look, I'm afraid of your past, and you're afraid of my past, so there's no need to talk about it."
Gu Yanting snorted heavily from his nose, "You don't have to be in a hurry to clear the relationship, Tang Yi, I do mind, but I can bear it, because I can't let you go, my feelings for you are better than these rubbish things. It’s a lot heavier! I want to spend time with you so this can be resolved!”
"You said you were afraid that my old relationship would be unforgettable, so I'm not afraid anymore? At most, I was a cheapskate to Lin Rui to spend the New Year with words, but you have swayed from spirit to body!"
Tang Yi's mind exploded with a bang, he stared at him fiercely, but Gu Yanting grabbed him first when he opened his mouth to say something.
Gu Yanting's chest heaved violently, and his voice became hoarse, with a chill, "If you like others, just say it straight, if you don't play like this, the double standard is too serious?! Why do you put a big hat on my head? I have to recognize it as soon as I buckle it? It's been two years since I can't reveal that shit? I'm so fucking soft to the point that if you don't feel anything about me at all, just say it directly, don't use Lin Rui as an excuse Unless you are in love with someone else, you are in a hurry to kick me away!"
"You!!" Tang Yi's face turned pale, and he was so angry that he didn't know what to say for a long time. He couldn't help but punch him, but Gu Yanting grabbed his wrist.
He has always been the dominant one when he gets along with Gu Yanting. Gu Yanting used to be stupid and never speak to him. Today, he was stimulated by Shen Fan's "unaccomplished" and "talked" to Gu Yanting, but he didn't expect to say anything. , the latter was able to argue so hard that it would make him mad.
However, every sentence of Gu Yanting sounded reasonable. Tang Yi's Adam's apple rolled up and down several times.
"I want to shut up, but I have to let you know that you have had a boyfriend in the past two years, but I have had a harder time than a monk. I think about you every day and every night, when I think about it You may be touched by other men and I will almost go crazy. It's all you who sleep and dream at night. I have to hug your shirt even if I slap it, or I won't be able to harden it..."
Gu Yanting saw Tang Yiqi's body shaking, his lips moved and his breath calmed down.
After a while, he released his hand to support Tang Yi's arm, and gently stretched his hand up and down on Tang Yi's back. He lowered his voice, his tone was not as aggressive as before, but with a bit of coaxing meaning, "I know that you are angry with me, it was all my fault before, and you have punished me. The days are still long, let him pass the past, can't we start over?"
When he reached the last sentence, he bent down slightly, and hummed softly against Tang Yi's ear, the breath evoked by the nasal voice was slightly seductive. Tang Yi finally eased his breath in his arms, and closed his eyes silently until the breath slowly calmed down.
Gu Yanting didn't dare to get too close, and stroked Tang Yi's back rhythmically with his palms. When Tang Yi slowly opened his eyes and his beautiful eyes met his gaze, he had a little anticipation in his heart.
Tang Yi looked at him for a long time, and finally said slowly, "What an aggressive approach, congratulations to Mr. Gu, I won't be able to get along in Huayuan in the future. With this ability, I can get a golden rooster and golden monkey in the entertainment circle, for sure. starving."
His voice was very light, and his eyes were bright and radiant when his emotions calmed down, his eyes sparkling like jumping fire clusters.
Under normal conditions, Tang Yi was so determined that he wouldn't listen to what others said, but he was in a trance today. Gu Yanting didn't know how he saw the clue in the restaurant, so he simply fought back with anger and resentment. First, he said that the Christmas incident caused Tang Yi's guilt, and then borrowed Zhou Hao to explain his grievances and sadness.
Gu Yanting's figure froze for a moment, but he kept his hugging posture and didn't move. The two looked at each other and refused to speak first. After a long while, Gu Yanting sighed, and slowly lowered his head and buried his face in Tang Yi's neck.
He whispered, "Tang Yi, how do you know that I'm not sad, not sad..."
This sentence is much lighter than the previous tirade, more like a helpless sigh, but the meaning of sadness is very strong. Tang Yi hesitated for a while, but did not move.
Gu Yanting slowly tightened his arms and exhaled softly, "When we were together, I would say goodbye at every turn, but it was because I knew that you would not agree. Every time you refused, I felt very sad in my heart. Happy, that kind of feeling is like having something that you are afraid of losing. You are always afraid that it is not sticky enough and the bolt is not tight enough, so you can't help but pull and push. When you can't push it away Heart is at ease.”
"But in fact, I was also afraid in my heart. I was afraid that if you returned me a good word... until you mentioned it first."
Those trivial things took four or five years to count. Gu Yanting often said break up when he had conflicts, but Tang Yi thought it was because Gu didn't pay enough attention to this relationship. He blamed himself for losing the first lover. In fact, in addition to being stubborn, my heart is full of disappointment.
Gu Yanting gave a wry smile, raised his head slowly, and said softly, "Breaking up has the guts, not the heart. I understand it too late, so I can only put my heart here, you can call me a rogue or a rogue, from your first When I mentioned the matter of breaking up, I didn't promise half a word. You broke up with you, I didn't agree before, and now I don't agree, and I won't agree with you even if I spend my life with you!"
Tang Yi's eyes drooped slightly, and his long eyelashes trembled slightly. He never thought that one day he and Gu Yanting would change their positions. Gu Yanting's confession was once something he longed for. He had believed that Gu Yanting preferred Lin Rui, and his relationship with him was nothing more than a back-and-forth and passive acceptance.
Ye Feng swirled the leaves, Gu Yanting approached slowly, and finally kissed the corner of his mouth gently, then moved away slightly, and then the soft kiss fell on Tang Yi's chin. , on the lips, on the face, on the tip of the nose.
Finally, when Tang Yi closed his eyes with a trembling trembling, Gu Yanting kissed his eyes carefully, and finally fell on the center of his eyebrows, and said in a low voice, "I'm sorry, it's all my fault."
When Tang Yi first started doing business, in order to quickly master negotiation skills, he had read a lot of psychological theories. Although most of them were forgotten and useless, there was a "Festinger's Law" that allowed him to Impressive - 10% of your life is made up of what happens to you, and the other 90% is determined by how you react to what happens.
For example, what Gu Yanting did to Lin Rui, if Tang Yi handled it in another way, he would probably have a better result. Even if he broke out directly when he was angry for the first time, either Gu Yanting realized his problem earlier, or the two broke up early.
Either of these two results is much better than the situation three years ago. At least when we first got together, we broke up with regret and unwillingness. better.
The matter of Lin Rui was a fuse, but the crux of the matter lies in their mutual trust and communication.
Tang Yi never thought about how he could completely unravel the knot in the future and accept Gu Yanting. But I have to say that tonight Gu Yanting's words, word by word, just fell on his heart. He had longed for this scene, but his inner weakness defeated himself first, so that he did not dare to have any expectations for the future.
Gu Yanting kissed him gently one by one, and said sorry in a low and slow manner. When Tang Yi calmed down and stretched out his hand to cover his face, Gu Yanting's eyes were dark and his mouth was lightly kissed in his palm, and said, "Now change it. I'm chasing you, you don't have to rush to agree, and you don't have to care about other things, let's take your time, okay?"
Although he asked if he was okay, his tone was very determined.
Tang Yi was silent for a while, then asked after a while, "How is your current job?"
Gu Yanting might as well ask this suddenly, nodded, "Very good."
"Do you like it? Is there a future?"
"I like it very much. The future... is also good."
Tang Yi snorted, and finally asked, "If I don't want you to do it, what should you do?" After he asked this, he began to regret it. Such a childish tone of anger should not have come from his mouth. Getting an answer doesn't necessarily make sense either.
Gu Yanting smiled, but answered quickly, "Between you and work, I choose you."
Tang Yi was slightly startled, saw Gu Yanting looking at him seriously, and said, "Don't underestimate your position in my heart. I know it's useless to say this now, but I still want you to know. If you don't believe me, you can wait for me. Do it slowly for you to see."
On the way back, the coat was still draped over Tang Yi's body. Gu Yanting's face was abnormally red, but the corners of his mouth almost reached his ears.
Tang Yi did not agree to him, but being able to acquiesce to him by his side was already another form of concession. The two of them sat in the taxi without speaking. Gu Yanting stretched out a hand to hold Tang Yi's shortly after he sat down. Tang Yi was caught by him shortly after dodging, and finally intertwined his fingers with him helplessly. all the way.
After returning home, Gu Yanting automatically became a dog nanny. Tang Yi always felt that the dog sent by Shen Fan was far more troublesome to him than comfort. Besides, something happened to the company shortly after he received the little guy, and he has not been able to do so until now. Solved, the dog is probably not immune to separation anxiety. What happened tonight was completely beyond his expectations, and he was a little embarrassed when he got home. So watching the patient work he didn't even realize what was wrong.
He was not ready to start again, and obviously Gu Yanting couldn't wait. The latter's attack was too fierce, and he was caught off guard by the momentum of destroying the dead. Tang Yi faintly felt that he had not fully reacted now, and Gu Yanting knew the way. He was even a little stunned when he gave Fanfan chews and toys, and hummed a song to clean up the dog feces and dog urine in the toilet. In the end, I could only silently pull out the antipyretic medicine and put it on the coffee table.
When Gu Yanting was taking the medicine, he took the initiative to come over. Tang Yi was reading on the sofa. The page stayed for a long time without flipping. Gu Yanting drank the pills and moved closer to him, suddenly asked, "Are you unhappy today?"
"… "
"I mean before you asked me out," Gu Yanting lowered his head slightly and leaned closer, but his voice was still a little hoarse, "Did something happen? Or did someone say something to you?"
He watched Tang Yi turn his head and said comfortably, "There is no Flaming Mountain that can't be crossed. It's good to seek solutions when you encounter problems. If you don't have any tricks, just go with the flow. Isn't it natural that the boat will go straight to the bridge."
Someone else said this to Tang Yi before, but this kind of consolation has no real meaning, and you don't have to take full responsibility for saying nice things. In the future, the only person who will be burned to death is himself, Tang Yi is helpless when he hears it in the past. For the most part, today it seems inexplicable that there is some truth to it.
He was silent for a while, put down the book in his hand, leaned on the sofa and asked Gu Yanting, "What if it doesn't last?"
"Did something happen? At work?"
"...Yes," Tang Yi paused, "there is something wrong with the contract between you Huayuan and our company."