Locked the big closet, I ran out of the room.
I opened the door and saw the appearance of the third uncle shocked me. With blood on his face, he rushed into the yard in a panic, then closed the door, and said bitterly, "Anzi, help, you want to help. Save the third uncle."
"What's wrong? What's the matter with your face?"
"Your third aunt scratched me. She wants to kill me."
I was taken aback and asked: "Why?"
"She said I went to ***, she must chop me off with a knife. You can give me a testimony."
My mind was lost for a while, and it seemed that my most worried thing had happened. As mentioned earlier, how can I prove such a thing? The more you explain, the worse. If you can’t explain it clearly, you might have to treat me as an accomplice.
"Then do you have any sex?" I asked.
"No, absolutely not. I swear to God, if I get fucked, I'll be hit by a car when I go out, and be struck by thunder when it rains!" The third uncle swears.
If it works, at least half of all mankind will die from natural and man-made disasters!
I asked: "Uncle San, how did the injury on your shoulder and the hickey on your neck come from?"
In a word, he suffocated his face like constipation, leaving him speechless. I looked up at the stars in the sky, and it won't rain tonight.
"Chen Youyang (my third uncle), you bastard, my old lady must castrate you as a bastard today..." The third aunt's cursing sound came from outside.
Looking along the crack of the door, under the bright moonlight, the third aunt, holding a bright kitchen knife, ran all the way to my house like Sun Erniang.
The third uncle was so scared that he went around in circles, but he didn't know where to hide for a while. I asked my third uncle to hide in the toilet first, and he immediately disappeared in front of me like a whirlwind, just rushing to the toilet.
I was busy calling my dad for help, but I couldn't deal with the dominatrix of San Aunt.
"Anzi, open the door and let Chen Youyang come out!" The third aunt smashed the door with a kitchen knife outside the door.
Looking at the kitchen knives flying up and down, I couldn't hide. I dared to open the door there. The swords and guns had no eyes. If you came to me, it would be for nothing.
"San Aunt, San Uncle is not with me."
"Don't lie to me, I saw him go in with my own eyes." The third aunt exposed my lie on the spot.
"Third aunt, calm down, don't get excited, put the knife away first."
"No, I must castrate him today!"
The third aunt originally had a high voice, and at this time, she was so angry that she yelled and cursed, and all the neighbors who were alarmed all ran out to watch the excitement, and even those who had good deeds even went on the roof.
It's not too shameful, this kind of thing is closed, and you can't talk outside if you are killed at home. How can you have the face to see people in the village in the future
That is to say, a rib like the third aunt can draw this battle. This sensational effect is definitely no less than that of my second uncle who drowned in the pit.
The third aunt is so shameless to drink like this. If I open the door, wouldn't I really hack the third uncle to death? Therefore, the door must not be opened!
"Anzi, this has nothing to do with you, please open the door for me!"
I was anxious, and called my dad again, but my dad directly called
Broken, I guess he was on the way here, he felt relieved, and reminded her: "Auntie, please tell her if you have something to do, don't make trouble, don't make a noise, everyone in the neighborhood is there."
"I'm not afraid of being ashamed. I'm going to let him be ruined by a thousand swords, give him a ***, and I haven't seen him so energetic at home. Good guy, he is scratched with finger prints all over his body, he's so shameless!"
"My third uncle has no ***, you must have misunderstood him!"
"He didn't find it. You kissed the big mouth mark on his body? I told you Anzi, you *no* I can't control, he can't!"
When I heard the topic I wanted to lead myself, I shut up quickly, otherwise I would be set on fire.
Looking back at the toilet, I found that the third uncle was poking his head and looking out. I was so angry. Don't do porcelain work without diamonds. If you can't cover your wife, please don't shoot randomly outside. This is all right, stealing I didn't wipe my mouth clean, and I was thrown out like a chicken, so why bother.
Finally, my dad squeezed out of the crowd. He stepped forward and snatched the kitchen knife of the third aunt, and the third aunt immediately cried. I hurriedly opened the door and let them in. Seeing my brother was also standing in the crowd, I wanted him to come in too. I guess he was ashamed and turned away.
I began to regret not listening to my brother, the third uncle was a pit. I shouldn’t let him drive with me. I met this kind of thing the first time I got out of the car. What should I do later? Thinking about it, my head hurts.
Miao Miao also walked out of the crowd, still holding the big doll I bought for her in her arms, because Miao Miao's head was low, and the doll's feet were covered with dust.
I let all the people watching the excitement go away, and then the people went back home happily.
My father and third aunt entered the house, and the third uncle wanted to sneak away. I immediately stopped him. Today's affairs must be closed, otherwise no one will have peace.
Asking the third uncle to wait outside, I also entered the room.
The third aunt sat down and cried, while Miao Miao sat on the sofa and looked at her parents with curious eyes.
"Big brother, he is such a thing. He was looking for a woman outside, and he hit someone when he went home. You see, he hit me, his face is swollen."
Hearing what the third aunt said, I found out that half of her face was indeed red and swollen, and she could still see the palm prints. The third uncle is famous for being afraid of his wife. The third aunt at home said that he would never go to the west, and said that he would never stand when sitting down. Today, I dare to slap the third aunt's mouth. This is the rhythm of going to heaven!
No wonder, the third aunt took a kitchen knife and chased him all over the village. It turned out that she wanted to go to the sky and fell off again.
The third aunt cried and said, how did the third uncle beat her, how many scars she had scratched by a fox, and her kiss’s mouth prints, she had looked for a woman before when she was out of the car, she forgave her, but now she is not only looking for a woman but also dare to beat her...
And so on, talked a lot.
Finally, my dad looked at me and asked, "Anzi, did your third uncle look for it this time in the car?"
I couldn't answer. I said I found it. I didn't see it with my own eyes. I said I didn't find it. I deliberately concealed it. I was even considered to be shielding my accomplices.
So after holding back for a long time, I pushed two, five and six and said, "I don't know.
"
"Where is your third uncle, call him in." My dad said.
I hurriedly called in the third uncle who was smoking at the door of the house. The third uncle was like a kid who had done something wrong, standing at the door with his head slumped, and peeping at his third aunt from time to time.
"The third child, what's the matter?"
"I was wrong." The third uncle said like a mosquito.
Yes, he finally admitted.
The third aunt stood up angrily, eager to try, and wanted to go up and scratch the third uncle, the third uncle wanted to hide out in fright, my dad stopped the third aunt, and I pulled the third uncle, it was so lively for a while.
"Hey..."
The crisp laughter made everyone quiet for an instant, and then they all looked at Miao Miao.
Miao Miao sat on the sofa holding a big rag doll, her legs dangling and looking at us and laughing.
We were stunned for more than ten seconds before my dad said: "Sister, sit down first, listen to me..."
In the words of the elder Mao, Mr. Xi, my dad carried out extensive criticism and self-criticism against the third uncle, and then discussed some of the problems in society and the third aunt’s own problems, finally letting the third uncle The two of them turned their fights into jade silk and returned to repair.
Although they didn't want to go hand in hand and shoulder to shoulder when they left, the third aunt had already cut off the third uncle with a knife and stopped him from going to bed.
My dad's eloquence is so good, it's a pity not to be the director of the Women's Office.
Sending away the three uncles and the family of three, I also breathed a sigh of relief.
"You really don't know about your third uncle?" My dad suddenly asked.
I was a little aggrieved and said: "I'm really not sure whether the third uncle has *." Seeing my dad's face was suspicious, I said again: "It's true. He went to take a bath and didn't come back for a long time, so I went to see him. I didn't find it, but when I returned to the room, he was already sleeping."
My dad said earnestly and earnestly: "Anzi, you are not married yet, so you must cleanse yourself."
"Dad, you have to believe me."
My dad sighed and said, "Hey, it's not to blame you, it's time to start a family for your eldest or younger one."
You still don't believe me! Do I look so lustful
I just wanted to explain a few more words, and my dad said, "Forget it, since this matter is over, no one is allowed to talk about it. I will look for some girls for you later, and arrange for you to see you at that time."
"No need. If you want a blind date, you should arrange my brother first."
"Your brother..." My dad stopped, but changed the subject and said: "Tomorrow you don't leave the car and take a day off at home. I will let your brother and Zhang Xiaohai go. I will arrange something else for you. ."
"what's up?"
"I'll talk about it tomorrow."
Sending my dad away, I went back to the house to rest. When I entered the house, I found that Miao Miao's big doll hadn't been taken away, and leaned on the sofa.
Sitting in a cigarette smoking, guessing what my dad would arrange for me tomorrow, he looked up and looked at Ragdoll's dark eyes.
It looked cute during the day, but it was uncomfortable at night. I wanted to take it to another room, walked over and touched it, and it immediately let out a silent laugh.
Huh...
(End of this chapter) (End of this chapter)