At the beginning of the world's reboot, Xie Ke still didn't know that Fu Zhiyu had also been reborn.
He really didn't plan for any unexpected situations. After all, he had experienced too many so-called unexpected situations. He only thought about how to dote on Zhiyu more after being together with him again, and how to express all his love to Zhiyu and make up for all the regrets between the two of them.
He writhes in agony for so long, relying on this hope to survive.
Knowing that Zhiyu was also reborn was indeed a big shock. At the beginning, he mistakenly thought that the main reason why he caused such great harm to Zhiyu in his previous life was because he was not honest enough and was disturbed by other inexplicable elements. He never told his lover his true feelings.
He thought that if he expressed himself enough and did enough, Zhiyu would come back. But when he really hit a wall, he found that it was not the case.
This would only work if the other person still loved him, but Zhiyu clearly no longer loved him, and the more he expressed it, the more annoyed he became.
It was extremely painful to understand this. There was an invisible barrier between him and Fu Zhiyu, which was caused by all the damage he had done before. These damages could not be erased or healed. Xie Ke knew this, but he could not let go.
It's impossible to let go.
From the moment Zhiyu came back, he was grateful to fate from the bottom of his heart for giving him such an opportunity again.
Even though Zhiyu was cold from beginning to end, Xie Ke felt happy as long as he looked at him. This was much better than his previous hopeless life. At least now, Zhiyu was still by his side.
But Zhiyu didn't like it. Every time he touched him, or even appeared in front of him, he felt annoyed.
Before going to the battlefield of the Qianyuan War, Xie Ke clearly realized this point, which was one of the reasons why he chose to leave temporarily.
Leaving was a very difficult decision, although it was only temporary, but the current situation was such that Xie Ke still wanted to protect the stability of the entire world. From the time he didn't wait for Zhiyu in Aiwan Pavilion, he knew that he should indeed leave.
The Qianyuan Battle was a very important time node. After going through it again, Xie Ke’s feelings would be very different.
This was the place where he and Zhiyu had fallen in love in their previous life, but it was not a pleasant place to recall. He thought it was a place where they could understand each other, but who knew that for Zhiyu, it was the beginning of torture.
Xie Ke found the old herdsmen. They didn't know who he was, but they were still as gentle and cheerful as they were in their previous life, and were willing to open their hearts and talk about things with others.
"Did you upset your lover?" The herdsman grinned and said, "We have quarreled before, but no matter how much we quarrel, we will still be together."
“… Why?”
"Because..." The herdsman pondered for a while, as if he couldn't find a suitable adjective to describe it, "Because when we are together, we are happier than when we quarrel. We will always come back together."
Xie Ke also smiled and murmured, "But we are not just quarreling..."
Seeing that he was really confused, the herdsman said the words "love, trust and respect" to him and told him about his own experiences. Xie Ke knew it in his heart, but he didn't know how to do it.
He always felt that no matter how he expressed himself, Zhiyu would misunderstand him as having ulterior motives, and they could not find a channel for normal communication.
He had been thinking about it carefully since he came back from the herdsmen, until the last battle, when he was hit by the barbarians' flaming bullets. At that time, he was on the verge of death and was really anxious. He just felt that things were finally over and he must see Zhiyu. The thoughts that had been suppressed for a short time surged uncontrollably, so he simply bandaged his wounds and set off back to the capital.
In fact, the injury was not that serious at the beginning, so Xie Ke did not use the life-saving props right away. His wound worsened while he was on the road.
When he returned to the capital, he met Zhiyu again after a long time. After going through a life-and-death situation, Xie Ke felt that he seemed to understand something. He no longer dared to touch Zhiyu like he did at the beginning. As time went by, looking at Zhiyu's attitude, he understood more and more.
If you really want to know the jade, no one will fail to feel it, no matter if there is any communication barrier or not.
In the past, I never made Zhiyu feel the so-called sincerity. Even when I just came back, I only brought him trouble. At that time, I made Zhiyu feel more selfish, completely selfish love.
After all, I didn't take his wishes into consideration, I just wanted the two of them to be together again.
Xie Ke tried hard to change. He knew Zhiyu didn't like others staring at him, especially Anying. Even though he was worried about Zhiyu's safety, he gradually removed Anying's people to prevent himself from interfering with Zhiyu too much. At the same time, he also tried hard to hold the power of the entire capital firmly in his hands, so that even if Anying didn't stare at him, Xie Ke knew that his beloved would be safe.
Give him freedom and protection.
He also carefully looked for ways to truly make Zhiyu happy. Even though he was jealous of the men and women in the backyard of the palace and Lin Miaotang who later ran away, Xie Ke tried his best to suppress his emotions and follow Zhiyu's wishes.
In fact, he had guessed a long time ago that Zhiyu would not stay in the capital for long. Ever since he knew that Zhiyu chose to play dumb after her rebirth, he had vaguely understood something.
Xie Ke never planned to become emperor. At first he wanted to push Xie Lin to be the emperor, but he didn't expect Fu Yanran to take the initiative to find him.
Fu Yanran was a perfect fit. The Xie family already held all the power, and there was no need to change the dynasty and be criticized by the people of the world. In fact, Xie Lin was not really ready to sit on the throne, so everyone was very satisfied with this arrangement.
No matter where Zhiyu goes, he can follow him and will have the power to protect him wherever he goes.
This is Xie Ke’s idea.
He felt that if he continued to work hard, Zhiyu would come back sooner or later. It didn't matter, he had the time and enough patience.
But revealing all the truth disrupted Xie Ke's so-called plan again.
He suddenly felt that he was still wrong.
"Do you know what it's like to have died once?"
Fu Zhiyu asked him this.
Xie Ke had experienced what it felt like to be worse off than dead after losing Zhiyu, but he opened his mouth and did not answer.
The so-called life is worse than death, but it is just one's own choice, it is one's own fault; Zhiyu is different, it was she who took advantage of the so-called wrong information and killed her lover. The pain caused by others, especially this "other person" is the person whom she loved wholeheartedly for a lifetime, is really not the same thing as herself.
At that time, he actually understood a little bit of what Shen Yang said to him.
He should want to tell Zhiyu the truth. Because he is the one who has experienced all these tortures, he can't keep him from knowing all the truth just because he is afraid. He is willing to let Zhiyu choose what to do in the future.
It doesn't matter if you want to leave or stay, even if you still don't want to see yourself again... it doesn't matter.
If his desire to get back together made Zhiyu feel uncomfortable, he would stop doing it and stop bothering him.
As long as Zhiyu is happy.
When Xie Ke chased after him, he really didn't expect Zhiyu to do such a thing.
He drew the bow towards himself, his expression still as cold as ever, but Fu Zhiyu like this made Xie Ke feel pain he had never felt before. The disbelief that penetrated deep into his bones made him stop where he was and unable to step forward to explain another word.
In her previous life, no matter how disappointed Zhiyu was, she had never treated Xie Ke like that.
In this life, he chose to ignore everything. Xie Ke was used to seeing cold faces, but only at this time did he feel Zhiyu's true feelings towards him.
That is the real cruelty beneath the cold and lazy appearance.
He wants me dead.
After Xie Ke felt this, he didn't think about dodging. He just watched the arrow coming towards him and accurately penetrated his chest.
He knew that Zhiyu's strength had increased. Shadow and the others could stop the others, but they couldn't stop this one, and he didn't even want to hide.
The Shadows watched all of this. They had no time to care about Fu Zhiyu who had left, and they hurriedly sent Xie Ke back to the capital.
The doctor who treated his back injury last time was still there, but the doctor was self-aware and knew that it was clearly not his role last time, and that General Xie's injury was healed inexplicably.
He could only carefully remove the arrow from Xie Ke's body, and then treat and bandage his wound. But the wound was too deep, and to be honest, the doctor felt that it was a miracle among miracles that Xie Ke was still alive after all this journey.
He deeply suspected that Xie Ke was some kind of monster to be able to survive until now.
"You go out," Xie Ke said to him, "Everyone go out, I want to be alone... for a while."
The room was empty, filled only by the pungent smell of his blood.
"027," Xie Ke's voice was already very weak. He spoke these words and sounded like he was sobbing, "I thought... I thought the most painful time was over. When I saw Zhiyu, no matter how cold he was, he came back, and I, I felt happy."
"But no..." He took a deep breath, "You see, he hates me so much, he just... wants me to die."
Only then did Xie Ke feel the real pain compared to the wound on his chest.
It turns out that being killed by the person you love deeply is so painful.
"I never wanted to stop him from leaving, never..." Xie Ke did not hear 027's reply, and continued talking to himself, "I just wanted to tell him that he can go anywhere. I, I just don't want him to leave by escaping. He doesn't have to do this... There is no need, no need to wrong himself.
I planned so much, all for him. I just wanted to tell Zhiyu that I want to give Jiangnan to him. I can do it. Just... treat it as his place. I just want to tell him this..."