Fu Zhiyu didn't know how Xie Ke viewed their relationship now. Anyway, as far as he was concerned, it was all in the past. When he was just reborn, he was still somewhat unwilling to accept the past. This unwillingness came not only from emotions, but also from the indelible self-doubt in his heart.
—Is there nothing in me that is worth affirming? Why is it that despite my wholehearted devotion, the person I love always treats me like a worn-out shoe
Not to mention other things, his career, his friends, his family, can all be considered failures. All things are intertwined, which makes Fu Zhiyu's self-doubt stronger and stronger. Even if part of it has been resolved in the system space, the deepest damage still exists and is deeply rooted.
Even after his rebirth, Xie Ke behaved very abnormally, but it was difficult to make up for Fu Zhiyu's feeling of self-denial, so he never believed for a moment that Xie Ke was sincere.
No matter what Xie Ke did, he could not open Fu Zhiyu's heart, because that heart was tightly closed and no one could touch its deepest part.
Later, the two of them were honest with each other and laid everything out. Not only did the truth come to light, but Fu Zhiyu's resentment also finally disappeared.
It turns out that all this has a reason, and there are so-called secrets. It is not my problem, nor is it his fault.
Fu Zhiyu's self-doubt finally disappeared when all the truth came out, as if he was reborn again.
Matters like feelings are affected by many things. When Xie Ke asked him in tears why they couldn't be together when they obviously loved each other, Fu Zhiyu was also very calm.
He calmly accepted the fact that the two of them had missed each other due to fate. In Fu Zhiyu's opinion, his arrow should be able to make Xie Ke leave this world, and then the two of them would have no intersection in any sense. He also felt that the matter was over.
Xie Ke shot him an arrow, and he returned it, and they were even. As for the countless other things, it would be meaningless to settle who owed whom how much at this time. Fu Zhiyu felt that he had let it out, and the matter between them was over.
At that time, he felt that he and Xie Ke would never meet again.
But reality is always not what Fu Zhiyu wants. When Xie Ke gave Jiangnan to him, the relationship between the two became even more confusing, as if a new line had been drawn in their relationship.
Moreover, the imperial edict had already been drafted by then, and the golden words could not be changed. When Fu Zhiyu received the news, there was no room for maneuver. Although he accepted it at that time, he didn't care about anything, pretending that this matter didn't exist, and pretending that he and Xie Ke had nothing to do with each other anymore.
But Xie Ke obviously didn't want this. Fu Zhiyu stared at the man in front of him and sighed.
"I'm not doing this for any reward." Xie Ke looked at Fu Zhiyu's face, not knowing what he was thinking, and explained nervously, "I... I'm going back to the capital now, Zhiyu, just pretend that none of this happened, okay? You can continue to do what you want to do, and I won't interfere anymore."
"You are just deceiving yourself again," Fu Zhiyu glanced at him, "Did you arrange for Zhang Lin to be here as well?"
"He's not," Xie Ke shook his head. "Zhang Lin is just a minor character. I don't have much impression of him, and I didn't know he would appear here after the plot changed. This is true. There's no need for me to lie to you about this at this time."
At this point, Xie Ke suddenly remembered something, and he reminded Fu Zhiyu: "Speaking of roles... The plot has changed, Deng Jinghe is out of control, you must be careful of him."
In the original plot, the Yuan family had been strangled by the prince, and Deng Jinghe began to reap the business left by the Yuan family in Jiangnan. At that time, he had even started to get in touch with Xie Ke. Although they had not yet reached a cooperative relationship, they had already communicated. Deng Qian could no longer control him, and even if he was unwilling, the Deng family's business had to be handed over to him.
But now the Yuan family has not collapsed, the market is limited, and Deng Jinghe can only find another way.
"I asked people to keep an eye on Deng Qian. After all, it was not to the point of asking him to die," Xie Ke said. "When Qian Manguan decided to save him, I found out that Deng Jinghe was secretly trying to do something with the medicine, trying to turn the life-saving medicine into a murderous poison."
If something went wrong with that bowl of medicine, things would be even more troublesome.
Neither Qian Manguan nor he could explain it clearly. If Deng Qian had really killed someone, the whole situation would not be as peaceful as it was now.
Fu Zhiyu had thought of this before. He had asked Yuan Jiangxing's soldiers to keep an eye on the situation. Besides, Imperial Doctor Chen was watching over the acupuncture and all the medicines he took had been checked by him, so he was not without preparation.
"Deng Jinghe changed the spoon used to feed the medicine," Xie Ke said, "Most people wouldn't pay attention to this detail, but luckily my people discovered it."
When he said this, Fu Zhiyu was a little scared, but he immediately reacted: "Did you break Deng Jinghe's hand?"
"It's just a lesson for him," Xie Ke said, "He has always been like this, using any means to achieve his goals. If you don't teach him a lesson, he will dare to do it again in the future."
"Don't you have any feelings for him?"
Xie Ke was stunned. He knew that Fu Zhiyu was talking about the plot in the original novel.
"He's not a good person. We were just using each other," Xie Ke said honestly. "Times have changed. I don't have any different feelings towards Deng Jinghe now."
After hearing this, Fu Zhiyu was silent for a while and said, "Have you ever thought that Deng Jinghe and I are actually the same?"
"How can they be the same?" Xie Ke subconsciously wanted to refute, "You and him..."
Fu Zhiyu waved his hand and said, "Don't be so quick to object, Xie Ke. You also know that times have changed. I am not the same person I was then. Everything you do now is actually to make up for your regrets. This regret has nothing to do with me, it's just you. Maybe you have some feelings for me in your heart, but it was not realized at the time. These regrets have been infinitely magnified in the accumulation of time, but if you calm down, you will find that all this is actually meaningless. If you look clearly into your own heart, you will know that what I said is right."
Just like the self-denial in his heart before, these self-denials made him not believe that Xie Ke was sincere, and made him not want to fight for anything, not want to do anything, except for a little concern and contact with his family and friends, he let everything else fend for itself.
The revelation of all the truth was just a booster, which only brought Fu Zhiyu back to the starting point, but what rekindled the fire in his heart were all his unfulfilled dreams, all the dreams that were aroused by Jiangnan's current situation.
Everything in the outside world is helpful. The most important thing is that Fu Zhiyu knows himself clearly. Only when he sees his own heart clearly can he truly know what he wants.
"What about you? Have you seen your heart clearly?" Fu Zhiyu asked him, "Do you love me, or do you feel regret? You had smooth sailing in the mission world before, and you saw the unexpected in me. You also miss the Fu Zhiyu who risked his life just for you, but I will never go back."
Xie Ke listened to Fu Zhiyu's words patiently and did not think about it as Fu Zhiyu wanted. He just smiled and looked at Fu Zhiyu, who was sitting on the bed seriously, with very gentle eyes. He stretched out his hand as if he wanted to touch him, but quickly took it back.
He did not answer directly, but asked in return: "Zhiyu, when you were in the main god space, did you count the days?"
There were no clocks in the main god space, and it was impossible to calculate time. Fu Zhiyu could only base his reading speed and other self-perceptions on it. He felt that it should be around a hundred years, but he had no way of being sure. As time went on, his self-perception would not be so accurate and there might be a large error.
"The time in the main god space is standard time, but when we are in the mission world, time will be magnified and the scale is different," Xie Ke explained. "We have spent decades in the mission time, and there are even some special mission worlds that require a thousand years to stay, but in the system space, only a few days have passed.
Zhiyu, I have traveled through countless worlds and experienced countless times in order to restart this world. If it was just a momentary impulse, I would not have been able to hold on for so long. I know exactly what I want, and I can only hold on because I am thinking of you."
He paused here, and a look of nostalgia appeared in his eyes.
"You're right to say it's a pity, Zhiyu, you are indeed my pity," Xie Ke said, "but it's not like you imagine. I miss the freshness brought by the unexpected or the symbolic 'Fu Zhiyu' who was good to me. No.
Zhiyu, I have no shortage of surprises in my life, nor do I lack people who are nice to me. I am the person with the highest authority among the actors, and many people want to flatter me. But after so long, and after seeing so much, Zhiyu, I still love you very much. "
In order to be closer to Fu Zhiyu at this time, he half-knelt beside his bed, just like when he came back from the Qianyuan battlefield. With deep feelings, he couldn't help but reach out and tidy up the few strands of Fu Zhiyu's messy hair hanging beside his cheeks.
Fu Zhiyu's face looked as white as a piece of jade under the moonlight outside the window.
"It's ironic that in my previous life, after you left this world, I realized that I loved you this much," Xie Ke said softly, "I read the political commentary you left behind, and counted all the things you left behind. I love this outstanding Fu Zhiyu who is different from others. It's not because of the novelty of the moment, nor is it just because you treat me with all your heart, but because you are worthy of love, and you attract me to love you.
Zhiyu, I don't regret that I didn't get you. Maybe I had such an idea at the beginning. When I just came back, I took a detour because of this idea, but now I don't force it. I just regret that I didn't realize how much I love you earlier, and I regret that I shouldn't have hurt you like that.
I love you, and I don't ask you to come back to me anymore. As long as you live well, I will... get what I want."
When Xie Ke finished speaking, he couldn't help but reach out and hug him, but he quickly let go.
"I'm sorry that you finally saw me," Xie Ke said, "I will leave. Zhiyu, you should be careful here."