When Lin Yao returned home carrying a steamer, Lin Zong was the only one sitting in the living room playing with his phone. His father was also at home, which was rare for him, and he and his mother were preparing dinner in the kitchen.
"You're back," Lin Zong looked up at him, "Come and help me pass this level."
"Just live by yourself." Lin Yao said in a muffled voice and went straight upstairs. He didn't even want to say anything now.
He had just opened the door and walked into his room. Before he could put down the steamer in his hand, Lin Zong had already followed him in, closed the door and grabbed his arm: "What's wrong?"
"Nothing." Lin Yao pulled his arm back from Lin Zong's hand, put the steamer on the table, fell on the bed, closed his eyes and stopped talking. He didn't want to move either. He just wanted to fall asleep and never wake up. He was so tired.
"If you don't want people to know that you're back, then you should pretend to be nice so that people won't notice," Lin Zong said, standing beside his bed with his arms folded. "Even though they can see it, you're still standing there and not saying anything. That's called being pretentious, understand?"
Lin Yao opened his eyes slightly and glanced at Lin Zong. He was not being pretentious, he just couldn't bring himself to talk to Lin Zong about this. Lin Zong had finally agreed to help him negotiate with his mother, but now it hadn't even been a day and he already said that Guan Ze was missing.
If Lin Zong knew about this situation, he would beat him directly.
"Don't ask me, brother." Lin Yao turned over and lay on his stomach. "I can't tell you."
"Break up?" Lin Zong said coldly, "If you don't tell me, I'll go find him."
Lin Yao was startled when he heard the sound of him turning and walking towards the door. He quickly jumped out of bed and rushed over to grab Lin Zong. If Lin Zong got angry, he would really kill him.
“No, no, no… Brother, please, let me take it easy.”
"Then you take your time," Lin Zong looked at him, "you still have half an hour to eat. I'll give you 20 minutes to take your time. You can use 5 minutes to tell me what's going on, and then you can use 5 minutes to calm down and go downstairs to eat."
Lin Yao sat on the bed, staring at the cage on the table. His ears were buzzing, making him feel dizzy.
"Steamed dumplings?" Lin Zong was bored waiting on the side. He went over to open the bag and reached out to take one. "Why is there no steamer..."
"Don't eat it!" Lin Yao rushed over and grabbed Lin Zong's hand, "Don't eat this. If you want to eat it, I'll buy it for you tomorrow."
"It's poisoned." Lin Zong withdrew his hand, put it in his trouser pocket, and continued to stand aside waiting silently.
Lin Yao didn't pay attention to the time. After a long time, he looked up at Lin Zong and sighed: "Brother, I can't find Guan Ze."
"Who is Guan Ze?" Lin Zong frowned and leaned back against the wall.
"Guan Ze is... the person I said I like." Lin Yao lowered his head and pinched his fingers hard.
"He definitely didn't tell me the truth," Lin Yao explained Guan Ze's illness. "It's definitely not a cervical spine problem, otherwise he couldn't have just left without telling me, and... there must be other reasons."
"Other reasons?" Lin Zong walked up to him, bent down and looked at him, "What's the reason?"
"I can't say for sure. He didn't bring anything with him, and he didn't tell the company when he asked for leave. He just said he was taking leave but didn't say when he would be back." Lin Yao bit his lip, "I don't think he was planning to come back at all... Brother, you have experience, do you think he left because he was afraid that I wouldn't be able to explain to my family?"
"I have no idea."
"A disguised breakup, is this what you mean?" Lin Yao's face was a little pale, and his eyes made people feel inexplicably painful.
"I don't know. I've never been broken up with in disguise, nor have I ever broken up with anyone in disguise." Lin Zong's face didn't look very good either. "What are your plans? You haven't cried yet, do you want to cry?"
“Cry your ass off,” Lin Yao gritted his teeth. His expression changed after he said these two words. “I’m going to find him out!”
"How?" Lin Zong asked.
"It's not that easy to just run away like this," Lin Yao grabbed Lin Zong's collar, "I can go to the hospital to ask the doctor, I can go to the welfare home to find Lu Teng, and I can also go to Ning Juan, but I don't have her phone number and I don't know where she lives. But I can ask Qi Jian, I don't believe I can't find him, if it doesn't work, I'll report him to the police and say he stole 200,000 from me! Even if I report a false case and get arrested, I'll get to the bottom of it!"
Lin Yao was a little excited. He grabbed Lin Zong's collar and stood up. His voice was trembling and getting louder and louder: "I want to ask him why he did this! Why did he make such a decision alone! Why did he think I was so unreliable! Why did he hide like this? He hasn't even told me that he loves me. Why did he just run away without saying a word! He..."
Lin Yao couldn't continue speaking as his hands were shaking violently.
"No more talking," Lin Zong hugged him and patted him on the back, "No more talking. If I talk any more, I'll start crying again."
"I'm already crying..." Lin Yao leaned on Lin Zong, his voice choking, "Fuck, why are you crying again..."
"Cry, you've been crying for more than 20 years. How can you just stop crying? This is irrational," Lin Zong sighed, thought for a moment, pushed Lin Yao away and rubbed his face twice, "Wait, you'd better stop crying. Mom will ask about it if she sees you."
"Just say you beat me because I didn't let you eat steamed dumplings." Lin Yao turned and went into the bathroom to wash his face.
"Why would I beat you for a basket of steamed dumplings? Otherwise, I would say you are not smart enough..." Lin Zong said, holding a cigarette in his mouth, walked to the window, lit it, and stared out the window in a daze.
Lin Yao buried his face in the hot water, and his tears were quickly forced back. He wiped his face and looked in the mirror. The self in the mirror looked a little miserable, with red eyes, a pale face with a yellowish-green tint, and his hair was a little messy.
He scratched his hair, pressed back the few strands that were sticking up, took a few deep breaths, clenched his fists and made a Bruce Lee stance, admiring it for a long time.
Guan Ze, I won't cry anymore, and I won't be the child you imagined.
Even if we take a step back and say that it is a really serious disease that can kill you, even if you die of the disease, you must die in front of me, let alone any other reason.
"Just wait till I dig you out," Lin Yao put away his airs and sniffed, "Just wait!"
Lin Yao didn't sleep in his own room at night. This was the first time since he started junior high school. He squeezed into Lin Zong's bed. He couldn't sleep and needed someone to listen to him.
"You're so annoying." Lin Zong was thinking about calling Ye Xiaoling to make an appointment, when Lin Yao stepped on his quilt and jumped onto the bed. He burrowed into the quilt and didn't move. "I want to make a call. Can you come in later?"
"No, call tomorrow. You haven't called anyone in years except for sending group text messages during the New Year and other holidays," Lin Yao buried his head in the quilt, "No one needs a sudden call from you."
"I farted." Lin Zong threw the phone aside.
"Let go. It's not like you haven't hit me before." Lin Yao didn't move.
Lin Zong turned over and covered Lin Yao with the quilt, then began to try his luck. After trying for a long time but there was no movement, he finally lifted the quilt and said, "Forget it, I'll let you go. You've tormented me so much today that I don't even want to fart."
"I'm determined to find him out. I'm quite ambitious," Lin Yao lay on the bed with no expression on his face, "but I still feel very uncomfortable. Brother, please distract me. Otherwise, I can't bear thinking about him all the time."
Lin Zong pulled the quilt up, turned off the light, thought for a while, and started chatting with Lin Yao about something that happened a few hours ago.
Lin Yao's tone was always calm, with no intonation or emotion in it. After talking for a while, Lin Zong couldn't find a topic to talk about. He felt a little depressed by Lin Yao's state.
"Brother, how long is the shelf life of steamed dumplings?" Lin Yao was silent for a while and suddenly asked.
"It should last a few months in the refrigerator," Lin Zong said, resting his head on his arm. "Freeze it."
"I'll freeze it tomorrow. I just put it on the terrace."
"Um."
Lin Yao didn't say anything else for a long time. Only his unsteady breathing could be heard.
"What are you thinking about?" Lin Zong turned over and faced him.
"Guan Ze is a really good person. He had a hard childhood. His father died, his mother didn't like him, and his whole family didn't like him," Lin Yao closed his eyes and began to speak, his voice still very calm. "He has been alone since he was a child. I admire him for being able to live to this day and become a director, so he is used to carrying everything on his own. I think he is not used to people being nice to him, nor is he used to sharing things with others. He bears all the good and bad things by himself. Anyway, when he needed someone to help him the most, few people helped him..."
"In his eyes, I am like his son. His son is not his biological son, but a child he sponsored in the welfare home. He is a little cripple, but has a very good personality. The child calls me brother and calls him dad. Brother, you think I should have changed the way we address each other from the beginning? When he calls me like this, it always gives Guan Ze a psychological hint that I am of his son's generation and his son is only in the second grade of elementary school."
Lin Zong didn't say anything. He was very familiar with Lin Yao's state. Lin Yao had been like this since he was a child when he was in a bad mood. He would talk non-stop without needing others to talk to him, not even to say "hmm". If there was a doll next to him, he would talk to the doll for an hour without stopping.
But even so, he knew very well that Lin Yao was not in extreme pain and would not normally be like this.
"Brother, do I look particularly unreliable, the kind of person you dare not let me take responsibility for anything? I think I am willing to take responsibility for the person I like. I don't want to always put everything in a small box, but he just doesn't seem to trust me," Lin Yao still spoke calmly, but his voice was nasal, "Is it because I cry all the time? In fact, I haven't cried many times in front of him. Why can't a man cry? Does crying mean that this person can't take responsibility? I can cry and bear it at the same time, why doesn't he trust me..."
Lin Zong reached out and touched his face and felt warm tears.
"I just said I wouldn't cry anymore but I cried anyway," Lin Yao buried his face in the pillow and rubbed it, "You said I've been talking for so long but no one told me and I didn't dare to say much. I had to hold it in. If I can't even cry anymore, I'll be suffocated to death. It's not easy for me at all. I..."
"Yaoyao," Lin Zong put his arm around his shoulders, thinking for a long time but not knowing what to say, "I'm sorry."
"Why do you feel sorry?" Lin Yao turned his face to wipe his tears on Lin Zong's pajamas. "I have been loved since I was a child. If I have to say who I feel sorry for, it should be me who feels sorry for my family. If I could choose a girl, there wouldn't be so many problems. It's not that I haven't thought about finding a girl. Anyway, I don't hate girls. I just don't like them to that extent. But when I think about it, I feel so sorry for them. And if I really can't get hard and can't have sex, it's better to buy a vibrator..."
After hearing this, Lin Zong felt uncomfortable and wanted to laugh at the same time. He could only hug Lin Yao and remain silent.
Lin Yao continued to mutter for a long time, talking about him and Guan Ze, big and small things, his voice became lower and lower, and finally he stopped talking.
Lin Zong looked at Lin Yao in the moonlight and found that he had fallen asleep with a frown on his face. He reached out and pressed on Lin Yao's brows but failed to smooth them out.
"Oh..." Lin Zong sighed and closed his eyes.
Lin Yao woke up on time in the morning, but Lin Zong was still asleep.
He lay on the bed in a daze for a while, and after he became more awake, he slowly sat up. His head felt a little heavy, his eyes were blurry and there were double visions. It might be because he didn't sleep well.
After waking up, what happened yesterday suddenly came to his mind again. When he thought about where Guan Ze was and what had happened to him, he immediately felt his blood run cold and his hands and feet started to go numb again.
But after sitting for a few minutes, he forced himself to suppress the discomfort. He couldn't let Guan Ze look down on him anymore. He would go to work as usual, do what he was supposed to do, and then dig eight feet into the ground to dig this man out in the shortest time possible!
Lin Yao, show your strength and get your wife back!
He climbed up and carefully raised his leg to step over Lin Zong, but the moment he raised his leg, he felt dizzy. Even though he gritted his teeth, he could not control the landing point and stepped on Lin Zong's stomach.
"Fuck | my belly..." Lin Zong woke up from his sleep and arched his body reflexively. Before he could finish his words, Lin Yao fell on the bed and sat on his knees. He yelled again, "Legs!"
"I didn't mean to do it. I didn't mean to do it." Lin Yao hurriedly tried to get up. Although he was not fat, if he was a child, Lin Zong would have been able to lift him up to the ground with just one arm. "I didn't stand firmly."
"Come here," Lin Zong held his stomach and stared at him for a few seconds, then suddenly grabbed his arm and pulled him next to him, then put his hand on his forehead, "Do you have a fever?"
"No?" Lin Yao shook his head. "I just feel a little dizzy. It's like this every morning when I wake up."
"You have a fever, idiot." Lin Zong threw off the quilt and jumped out of bed. He took out a thermometer from the drawer and handed it to him. "Hold it tightly. If you have a fever, don't go out today."
"That can't be possible. I'm in such good health." Lin Yao took the thermometer and clamped it on, then touched his forehead, but couldn't figure out what was going on.
You actually have a fever
After washing his face and brushing his teeth with the thermometer between his legs, Lin Yao took out the thermometer and took a look at it. It was 37.8 degrees.
"Damn it." He cursed softly. If he had a fever, Lin Zong would definitely not let him go out. He still had a lot of things to do. He planned to go to work today and visit several hospitals in the city at noon to see if he could find out anything.
"What's the temperature?" Lin Zong walked into his room and asked.
Lin Yao flipped the thermometer over fiercely, walked out of the bathroom and handed it to Lin Zong: "I don't know, I didn't check it."
Lin Zong couldn't see clearly with the thermometer in his hand, so he walked to the window, took a look, then turned around and pointed at Lin Yao who was walking out with his coat: "Stand still!"
"Is there a fever? I'm going to work." Lin Yao rushed out quickly.
"Fuck you, you don't have a fever," Lin Zong threw the thermometer and chased after him, "32 degrees, do you think I'm an idiot? Shake it the other way!"
"I have to go out today," Lin Yao turned around and looked at him, "I have to. If you don't let me out, I'll jump out of the window. If you tie me up, I'll bite my tongue. It's up to you."
“… Get lost.” Lin Zong stared at him for a long time, then waved his hand.
Lin Yao turned around and ran downstairs, shouting into the kitchen again: "Mom, I'm in a hurry at work, so I don't want to eat."
Lin Zong listened to the sound of the Xiali driving out of the garage and out of the yard, sighed, took out his cell phone and dialed a number: "Da Biao, help me check the detailed phone bill for the person you helped me check last time... Check both phone numbers, as many months as you can... Hmm..."
Mom was still busy making breakfast in the kitchen. Lin Zong stood on the stairs and thought for a long time, then finally went downstairs and into the kitchen.
"Mom, are you free?" He opened the refrigerator door and took out a bottle of milk.
Mom was cutting bread slices. When she heard what he said, she paused for a moment, turned her head and looked at him with a smile: "I'm busy."
"I..." Lin Zong walked to her side.
"Have you and Ye Xiaoling decided on a date?" Mom suddenly said, "I'm going out today to ask that old lady last time to help me calculate..."
"mom."
"Why don't you bring her home first? I haven't had a good chat with her yet..."
"mom."
"Please bring me that plate." Mom was walking around the kitchen.
"Jiang Huizhen!" Lin Zong pulled his mother helplessly, took the bread that she had been holding in her hand and had no place to put it, and put it aside.
"Oh, don't call me like that," my mother said with a smile, "I would be shy if a grown man called me by my name like that."
"Let's talk."
My mother didn't say anything or move. She just stared at him. After a while, tears fell from her eyes. She said in a trembling voice, "Let's not talk about it. I have lost my memory. You can't treat a patient like this."
"Then can you lose your memory after I finish my story?" Lin Zong hugged her, "There's no way to avoid this."
"I noticed it yesterday. Your brother spent more than ten chopsticks on one dish while eating and didn't switch to other dishes. He hates celery so much. He kept eating and eating. I knew something was wrong," my mother cried. "I'm starting to lose my memory."
"Listen to me, Lin Yao has a fever," Lin Zong patted his mother, "that man suddenly left yesterday without saying goodbye, and Lin Yao couldn't find him, and kept complaining to me all night..."
"Why did he leave?" Mom pushed him away and wiped her tears.
"It seems that he is sick, and it's quite serious. He doesn't want Lin Yao to know." Lin Zong hesitated, "And I have... looked for him before."
"Didn't I tell you not to look for him?" Mom yelled, picked up the bread on the chopping board and threw it at Lin Zong, then grabbed a plate and hit him hard, "I told you not to look for him! But you still went! I knew you had to go! Now you're okay! Now you're okay!"
"I just want to go and take a look," Lin Zong protected his head and kept retreating. Even when he retreated to the corner, his mother kept chasing and beating him. He had no choice but to squat down. "No matter what, I have to see what kind of person he is. Lin Yao has never been in a relationship. What if that person is not a good person and something else happens to him? If I don't go and tell him, Lin Yao will come back and make it clear to you. Then you will have no way out!"
"Now it's gone too! What should I do now? He has shot down all the good birds with your shotgun. What should I do with my son?" Mom threw the plate in front of Lin Zong.
"Mom," Lin Zong stood up, "It depends on you. If you can bear it, I will go find you."
"Is there no other way?" Mom's tears rolled down her cheeks again, unable to control them.
"It's really over," Lin Zong took out a tissue and gently pressed it on her face, "If he could find a girl, he would have done it long ago. You've seen it all these years. It's useless. Now he's trapped and there's no turning back. If we don't back down, Lin Yao will suffer for the rest of his life."